“Am I going to die?”
Leave it to a child to go straight to the heart of the matter. There would be no beating around the bush, no avoiding the question. Josh had already asked it.
“I hope not, but it’s a very serious disease. It wouldn’t be fair to tell you anything else.”
“But there is a cure?” his mother asked.
“There is a treatment,” Matt said. “We don’t have anything that’s a one hundred percent effective cure for cancer.”
That struck her like a blow. Now both parents understood that their precious son could very well be taken from them before he reached his tenth birthday.
“What is it? We’ll do anything you say.”
“He must go to Charlottesville every two weeks for treatment.”
“Why can’t you do them here?”
“The treatments are too specialized, the equipment too expensive, the procedures too complicated and dangerous. There are specialists in Charlottesville, men who do this all the time, who know exactly what to do for Josh.”
“You’re a doctor. You ought to know that.”
How could he explain to parents—especially when they’d just been told their only child had a potentially fatal disease—that doctors were not miracle workers. Or that in this day of specialization, no doctor could know all there was to know about every disease and its treatment.
“I do. But as I just said, we don’t have the equipment.”
“Can’t you go with us?” Mrs. Worsley asked.
Refusal was on the tip of his tongue. There was nothing he could do. He’d probably be in the way. Some of the doctors might think his presence indicated a lack of confidence in them. He would have to cancel a full day’s appointments. That would throw him behind, irritate other patients.
They didn’t really need him. He could give them more maps, building diagrams, everything they needed to get in and out of the hospital complex with a minimum of fuss. But that wasn’t the reason she asked. She asked because she and her husband needed someone they could trust, a friendly face who understood what was happening and could answer their questions, allay their fears.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Matt asked Josh.
The boy nodded. He was trying to be brave, but Matt could see the fear in his eyes. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to be told you might die. Growing up, he’d been certain no-body’s life could be as bad as his own, that he was the most cursed kid in the whole world. He hadn’t had any sympathy to waste on anyone else.
But he’d never faced death. Next to that, everything else was easy.
“I’ll be happy to go,” Matt said, giving Josh’s knee a squeeze. “After all the tests are done, I’ll show you where the Virginia Cavaliers play football. They’re not quite the Redskins, but they’re not too shabby.”
That was a fortunate idea. It started Josh on an exhaustive recap of the Cavaliers’ past season and their prospects for the coming year. Matt decided he’d have to see if he could talk one of the coaching staff into giving Josh the tour. This child knew a hundred times more about Virginia football than Matt ever had.
There was no time lapse between the knock and Salome’s sticking her head inside Liz’s office. Her chosen color for today was fuchsia. It looked particularly terrible, but no one could persuade her not to wear it.
“Somebody to see Beefcake,” Salome said, arching an eyebrow to expose eye shadow so vivid it made Liz think of vampires and other bloodsucking creatures.
“Why tell me? Tell Matt.”
“He’s out on a call.”
“Then let them wait.”
“It’s a she.”
“Okay, then let her wait.”
“She wants to wait in here with you.”
“Salome, I’ve got a stack of work that—”
Liz’s protest was wasted. Salome had disappeared. Liz didn’t know whether to get up and lock her door or try to run interference in the waiting room. Or come back later. She couldn’t imagine who it might be. Matt didn’t know any woman in Iron Springs but his patients. From what he’d told her, none of his friends from Charlottesville would dare venture this far into the wilderness. She wouldn’t be surprised to find they thought panthers still lurked behind trees.
A knock sounded at the door. Before Liz could say “Come in,” an expensively dressed woman entered the office.
“Hello, I’m Georgia Allen,” she announced with a distinctly Midwestern accent. “I hope you don’t mind if I wait in your office, but I couldn’t possibly wait in the same room with a woman who makes me look pale by comparison.” She smiled in a friendly manner. “Besides, we clash.”
Georgia Allen was striking rather than beautiful. Her figure wasn’t out of the ordinary. Her clothes were understated and severely tailored. But every inch of her had been styled, airbrushed, toned and dressed to make a statement that here was a successful female executive. All this was underpinned by an easy confidence and an appealing femininity that made Liz feel quite insignificant by comparison.
Georgia held out her hand. Her handshake was businesslike but friendly. Liz felt immediately at ease.
“I know you must have work to do,” Georgia said. “I’ll sit quietly.”
“That’s okay,” Liz said. “I’m glad to finally meet one of Matthew’s friends.”
Georgia laughed. “Do you call him that?”
“What?”
“Matthew.”
“Why?”
“It’s not his name. His mother christened him Matt.”
Liz didn’t know why Matt hadn’t corrected her. She’d just assumed Matthew was his Christian name.
“But I guess this is a Matthew kind of town.”
Liz knew what Georgia meant. She wasn’t sure it was a compliment.
“I could let you wait in Matt’s office if you’d rather.”
“I’d rather stay here if you don’t mind. All that stuff in a doctor’s office make me nervous.”
Liz could hardly imagine anyone this relaxed and confident ever being nervous.
Georgia sat down and crossed her slim legs. “I couldn’t believe it when I heard that that committee had sent Matt here. He must hate it.”
Clearly Georgia wasn’t impressed with Iron Springs. But then neither was Matt.
“Sorry,” Georgia said without appearing embarrassed. “I shouldn’t talk about your town like that, but I know Matt.”
“He makes no secret that he had hoped to be reassigned, but it seems he’s going to be with us for a year. We’re delighted. He’s an excellent doctor.”
“He’s brilliant,” Georgia said. “He’s practically a genius. He should be working with a specialist right now. He’s going to be a great doctor.”
She talked directly at Liz, her gaze focused and direct. Yet there was nothing aggressive about her. You might hate what she was saying, but you liked her. She reminded Liz of Matt in that regard. Maybe that’s why they were such good friends.
Liz could hardly believe the feeling of jealousy that suddenly flooded through her. This was ridiculous. Matt had hardly mentioned this woman. She couldn’t be important in his life. Liz might have believed that before she saw Georgia. It wasn’t so easy now.
“He did tell me he wanted to become a surgeon.”
“I’ve known Matt since we were undergraduates,” Georgia said. “We’ve spent hours talking about our plans. He had everything mapped out, doctors he wanted to study with, hospitals he wanted to work in. Then Reichenbach decided he needed to learn how to deal with people.”
“I think that’s important.”
“It would be for most people, but not necessarily for a man of Matt’s gifts. He should be spending his time improving his skills, gaining experience, building a reputation. He’ll have a clinic of his own someday. People will come to him. He’ll see them for five minutes—he’ll have staff to do the in-depth interviews—then he’ll do the surgery. They’ll get well and think he’s a genius. There’s no need for
anybody to know what he looks like.”
As if any woman could forget Matt!
“I’m afraid I don’t agree with you or Matt on that score,” Liz said. “What brings you to this part of the world?” If Georgia was so infatuated with Matt, she wondered why she hadn’t written, called or visited him before now.
“I help executives deal with stress. I have several unwinding at a retreat between here and Charlottesville. I couldn’t be this close without getting Matt to check them out.” Her smile was genuine.
She didn’t sound very loverlike to Liz, but then neither did Matt. Maybe career people were all different from her.
“Matt never mentions his friends. He hasn’t told me anything about you.”
“There’s no reason. We probably don’t see each other more than twice a year. Building my career takes all my time. By the time I’m established enough to have a little free time, who knows where we’ll be.”
“You’ll probably be worried about picking out colleges for your children.”
Georgia directed a look at Liz that she found rather daunting, like she’d inadvertently strayed onto forbidden ground.
“My work doesn’t leave me time for a husband or children. Matt and I feel exactly the same about that.”
Despite what Matt and Georgia may have decided all those years ago, Liz knew Matt didn’t feel that way anymore. He couldn’t treat Ben and Rebecca the way he did. He might not know it yet, but Liz did.
She wouldn’t let him be lured back into that cold, cynical attitude. She had nothing against Georgia Allen—she seemed like a nice person—but she was nothing like Matt. Liz wouldn’t allow either of them to make the mistake of thinking he was.
Liz’s thoughts skidded to an abrupt stop. She guessed she now had the answer to at least one question. There was no doubt that she’d fallen in love with Matt. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be intending to fight Georgia Allen for his soul. It sounded rather melodramatic when stated that way, but that’s what it was.
Matt had a sweet, warm, giving soul. Terrible things must have happened to make him withdraw into himself, to think that people were cruel and unfeeling, to want to be so successful he could strike back at them. He thought he was beyond emotion, beyond feeling. He had just built a shell around himself. Iron Springs had begun to dissolve that shell. Liz had every intention of seeing that it was completely gone by Christmas.
Matt hadn’t been out of Iron Springs an hour before he knew leaving with Georgia was a mistake. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her or find her attractive anymore. It wasn’t that they couldn’t have fun together. But Georgia thought Matt was the same person she’d known in college. So had he. Now he realized he had changed.
“You should see this one guy,” Georgia was saying as they drove up the valley toward Middleburg. “He has an anxiety attack every time I take away his portable phone. He’s certain his company is going to fire him and he won’t know about it.”
“He’s probably got two kids in college, a huge mortgage and a credit-card balance the size of the national debt,” Matt said.
“Not to mention a wife with a penchant for emeralds and winters in the Caribbean.”
Matt couldn’t imagine Liz in emeralds. But Liz spread out on a hot Caribbean beach was an image he found hard to forget.
He looked out the window at the Shenandoah River threading its lazy way through the valley. Huge green fields populated by grazing cows bordered the highway. Large white houses or brick mansions nestled placidly in groves of hundred-year-old trees. Like protective barriers, the mountains rose in the distance on both sides of the valley.
It was serene and beautiful despite the cars bulleting down I-81. He actually liked it now, thought fondly of the ambling flow of life. Nobody in Iron Springs ever got stressed out.
“That’s all the more reason to stay single,” Georgia said, interrupting his thoughts. “When I get home, I can put my feet up—or run out and howl if I like. There’s nobody to tell me I’ve got to cut an important meeting short because of a soccer game or to get angry because I forgot an anniversary dinner.”
“Don’t you get lonely sometimes?”
“No. I have all the dates I want.”
“I don’t mean dates,” Matt said. “I mean family.”
“No. I told you about my family.”
He’d forgotten. “What about friends?”
“I have more than I have time for.”
“You can’t have more than two. You’ve had a different job practically every year. You’ve had more addresses than an army brat.”
“And it’s gotten me right where I want to be. I’ve paid all my college debts and I’m making more than two hundred thousand dollars a year. I thought you wanted to make even more than that.”
“I do. Watch the road.” Georgia was as bad as Salome about looking at her passenger when she was talking.
“I know being here is a great disappointment, but don’t let it get you down. You’ve got a great future. Nothing can hold you back.”
But that wasn’t what he was talking about. He hadn’t changed his mind about what he wanted to do. But living in Iron Springs these past months had changed something in him, something more than falling halfway in love with Liz.
Just admitting that to himself was a shock. He didn’t want to fall in love with anyone, not even halfway. It always meant complications.
But he did want to like people, and he wanted them to like him.
He’d never cared before. He didn’t know why he should have started to care now. He just knew he had. He would miss Ben and Rebecca when he left next year. Hell, he’d miss them if he left now. It would be a hundred times worse by next summer. He’d miss a lot of other people, too. He’d never find another receptionist who had the nerve to wear fluorescent lipstick and call him Beefcake.
And of course he’d miss Liz. She had gotten firmly under his skin. Pretending did no good. He would leave something very important behind when he left Iron Springs, and Liz was a great part of it.
“You’ve got to do spectacular checkups on my stressed-out CEOs,” Georgia said. “I want to know if the slightest thing is wrong with them. I’ve never had one go bad on me yet. It would ruin my reputation if one did now.”
“I’ll do the best I can,” Matt said. “What happened to your regular physician?”
“He had a heart attack. His partner was all set to take over, but I knew you were in the area so I insisted we bring you in.”
“But I’m only a consultant.”
“That’s what it says on the paper, but you’ll be doing the real work.”
“Does he know?”
“Sure. He doesn’t care.”
“But he’ll get the blame if I do anything wrong.”
“Nobody will. And after you’re done, we can go someplace nice for dinner. I know just the spot. And after that...well, tomorrow’s Sunday. I have this great view of the mountain and a waterfall from my window. I can’t wait for you to see it.”
Matt should have known Georgia would expect him to spend the night He always had when their schedules allowed. He’d even anticipated it when he found her in Liz’s office. After several weeks of enforced celibacy, his body was screaming for physical release. But he also knew that he wasn’t going to find that release with Georgia.
Sexual release in itself was no longer enough. He wanted something more. He wasn’t sure what that was. Nothing had been what he’d wanted or expected since he arrived in Iron Springs. Someone had changed the rules without warning. He was growing more and more certain that someone was Liz Rawlins.
Chapter Fifteen
“He’s sick all the time,” Mae Worsley was saying. “He doesn’t complain much, but I can tell. He hurts, too, in his joints. He says they near ’bout kill him sometimes.”
Josh lay in a big four-poster bed, his normally bright eyes dulled with pain. Despite the heat, he lay under a handmade quilt. The air-conditioning unit in the window kept the temperature in the
upstairs room relatively cool, but it was under the eaves. Matt doubted even the branches of a huge black walnut tree could keep out the heat of the summer sun.
Josh had covered the walls with pictures of his favorite Redskin players. Matt figured he must have cut up every issue of Sports Illustrated for the past ten years.
“Have you taken the painkillers I prescribed?” Matt asked Josh.
The boy nodded his head.
“He don’t complain no matter what I give him,” his mother said. “There’s times I give him more than it says, but it don’t do no good. Now he’s started spitting up his dinner. How’s he going to get well if he don’t keep nothing down?”
“I can give him something to settle his stomach,” Matt said.
“It’s not just his stomach, Doctor,” Mae said. “It’s everything. Seems like every day he wakes up there’s something else wrong with him. Do you think the treatments are working?”
“It’s too soon to tell.”
“How long before we’ll know something?”
“I can’t say. Each case is different.” Mae was no more anxious than Matt to see signs the chemotherapy was working. If it didn’t, the only other choice was a bone-marrow transplant.
Matt examined Josh carefully but found nothing he could do. Everything that was wrong stemmed directly from the leukemia or the chemotherapy. All Matt could do was try to make the boy more comfortable.
He wrote out a couple of prescriptions. “Have these. filled and follow the instructions carefully. Don’t overdose him.”
“But he moans so pitifully.”
“Still, don’t do it.”
“I can’t help myself,” Mae said. “I can’t just sit here listening to him cry and do nothing. I’m his mother. I’m supposed to be able to make him feel better. Could you sit here and listen to your child crying from pain and not do something for him?”
Matt thought of Ben the night he threw up. It had been hard to sit by his side, doing nothing even though he knew the discomfort would soon go away. How much worse must the Worsleys feel having to watch their son suffer terrible pain, knowing he might not get better?
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