"Well, if a bad day makes you eat all that you should, then I guess I'm okay with it."
"So what's the plan for the day?" I asked with my mouth full, a piece of egg fell out.
"Very funny." He tossed me a napkin. "I'll be preparing the Moon Circle for you."
"Moon Circle?"
"Yep, Moon Circle. With the full moon coming, you need maximum exposure. I build a sacred circle out in the desert and you bathe there as the moon hits its zenith."
"Outside? Like in the open desert?"
"Yep."
"Like, where the animals are?"
"They won't come near, don't you worry."
"How do you know that?"
"Well, for one, all the power you'll be throwing off will scare the crap out of them, and two, I'll be putting up a big circle of protection, so you won't be disturbed by anything."
"Makes sense."
"It does indeed." Royal wiped the countertop around me where a few specks of oatmeal and egg had formed a ring around my bowl. "You need to do two things today."
"And they are?"
"You need to eat like a horse and rest like a sloth."
"A sloth?" I giggled.
"Yeah, a sloth, they're very restful."
"Oh, I know, it's just not the animal I thought you'd use."
"Can you name me one that does less than a sloth?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitched. I'd learned over the last few days, that this was Royal being playful.
"Hmm, snail?"
"Nope, they may be slow, but they aren't lazy."
"Sloths are lazy?"
"Have you ever met a sloth?"
"Can't say that I have."
"Well, I've known a few in my time, and they were pretty lazy bastards."
I laughed a little too hard and felt something rip at the corner of my mouth. My hand shot to my lip and came away with blood. "Shit!"
"Don't panic." Royal came around the counter with a clean cloth in his hand. "Hold still." He put one hand gently behind my head and pressed the cloth to my lip. "Don't try to talk. Just hold still for a few minutes and it'll pass. You've just got to be more careful until this is all healed up."
"Mmmm mmm," I mumbled through my closed mouth.
"Don't talk. Just relax."
I took a deep breath in through my nose and let it out as best I could through the side of my mouth to which Royal wasn't pressing cloth. I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes; since my burning, their salt felt like acid against my skin, so I tried a few more deep breaths to keep them at bay.
"Let them out, Phoenix," Royal said softly, "you’ve got to let it all out."
I looked into Royal's bright blue eyes, framed in wrinkles and holding the weight of many many years. We were strangers, yet we were kin. The only one of our kind I had ever known. There was trust there: an unspoken bond of pain and longing. The skeletal remains of my wings started to twitch. They wanted to trust him too. And I trusted them. So we all trusted each other. I took a deep breath and let the tears go.
"Good girl," Royal whispered as he took the cloth from my mouth and used a clean edge to catch the tears before they could get too far along my cheeks. His movements were so caring, paternal, unconditional, and with another deep breath I felt my boney frame soften and the tiny flame of power inside me burn a little stronger.
"Is it safe to smile now?" I asked quietly through very still lips.
"Not a big one, but yes." Royal smiled as he stepped away.
"Thank.."
"Nope," Royal interrupted, still smiling. "Don't say that. It's not necessary."
"But I want to thank.."
"Nope!" He laughed. I pulled a face. "You'll rip open that lip again, missy!" he admonished.
"Okay, you win, I won't say thank you."
"See that you don't." He winked. "I'm going to head out and get started on your Moon Circle. I suggest you take a nap."
"A nap? But I just got up!"
"And you just split your lip open. Nap!"
"Yes, sir."
Royal kissed me on the top of my hood-covered head and was gone, his silvery wings dragging lightly on the floor behind him.
5
Napping has never been my strong suit. I know it's an important skill that can add years to your life, blah, blah, blah, but I've never really been into it. It didn't feel necessary in my human life, and now that I was an immortal Traveller, it seemed even less useful. But Royal knew what he was talking about, so I decided to give his order a try and see if I could get some day-sleep.
I wasn't sure if it was Traveller magic or brilliant architectural design, but every room in Royal's home was always cool and pleasant. A gentle breeze always flowed through the windows making every room that awesome combo of perfect temperature and fresh air. My room was no exception. I stacked my pillows, so I was sitting up a little; it helped take the pressure off my wings, and stretched out on the bed. The cotton wrappings I wore were all the blanket I needed, and within minutes of lying down, I was fighting to keep my eyes open. Begrudgingly admitting to myself that Royal was right about me needing a nap, I pulled a bit of my headscarf over my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
I started to dream. Not wing visions, real dreams. And not dreams, more like nightmares. I'd been dealing with them off and on since I'd woken up in Royal's home. Snippets of the City of Caves, the battle with Mhyr, hearing Archer's muffled screams. A rich pageantry of painful crap too fresh in my heart to ignore. I could feel the pounding of a hundred minions throwing themselves against the wall of Mhyr's dome, and I could feel her shaking me; it felt so real, so very real.
I woke with a start; hands were on my shoulders, I cried out and smacked with my useless stick arms at whoever held me.
"Phoenix, Phoenix," a voice whispered, "it's me, Royal." A hand gently pulled my head scarf from my eyes, Royal's hand. "Please calm down, you'll hurt yourself."
I looked up at him and tried to catch my breath. I could feel sweat on my forehead. It burned. I dragged a glove covered hand across it.
"Hey," I said with a strained voice. "I'm sweating; I haven't done that in a while."
I looked down at my glove. It was tinged scarlet. So I was sweating, but it was bloody, great.
"That's good." Royal didn't notice the glove. He sat down at the end of the bed and smiled, but it didn't go all the way to his eyes.
"What's wrong?" I propped myself up higher on my pillows. I grabbed a cloth from the nightstand and dabbed at the drops of blood-sweat on my brow. I just needed some tears, and I'd have a great act going.
I watched Royal, honestly expecting him to say 'nothing's wrong’, and just talk about the moon ceremony some more, but he sat silently and looked at the floor for a very long time.
"You're freaking me out, Royal. What's up?"
"You have visitors."
"What?" My jaw dropped, and then my gut turned in what I hoped was excitement. "Archer? He found me?" I tried to smile, and the cut on my lip smarted. I quickly put my cloth against it. "He can't see me like this. Not yet. After the moon stuff. I need more time."
I moved to rise from the bed and Royal placed a large comforting hand on my leg, stopping me.
"Not Archer."
"Then who?" My gut dropped, disappointment bringing tears to my eyes. I may not want Archer to see me like this, but I desperately wanted to see Archer.
"Well, a couple of minions."
"Seriously?" I asked, Archer momentarily forgotten. "How did they find me?"
"Well, one of them said he'd been tracking you for so long it was second nature to him."
"Sid." Another flip, my gut was getting quite the workout this morning.
"Yeah, that's his name." Royal looked surprised. "You do know him then?"
"Yep."
Royal knew the whole story of what happened in the City of Caves, and that technically, I was now the leader of the minions. He'd taken the whole story in and then said 'well, you gotta heal first,' and never mentioned it
again.
"Sid found me when I was living as a human and helped me find my wings."
"Oh, he's that one," Royal knew my life story. "And then he betrayed you to the Guard."
"And then I saved him in the Caves."
"You don't do things by halves, do you?" Royal whistled. "Well, he's tracked you down again, and they want to talk to you. I said I'd have to talk to you first before I brought them anywhere near."
"Who's the other one?"
"Spin."
"Oh," a tiny gasp escaped my lips "I haven't seen him since..." A tear rolled down my cheek; I wiped it away with my increasingly crimson coloured towel. "How does he look?"
"He's got a big scar across his belly, but otherwise he's totally fine. He actually grabbed Sid and held him back at one point, strong little fella."
"Why did he have to do that?"
"Well, Sid was pretty amped up, and when I said he couldn't come straight to you, he tried to fight me."
If I'd had eyebrows, they would have risen.
"Sid can actually fight, I'm surprised Spin could hold him."
"I'm not saying it was easy for the little guy, but he did it."
"Do you know what they want?"
"To take you back to Guard."
"What!?" This time I did spring from the bed.
"No, not like that. To claim your seat. You're their leader remember?"
"Oh shit."
"My thoughts exactly."
Royal went out to collect the two minions and bring them back to his home. I couldn't be out in the direct sun, so it was the only choice. I asked Royal if he was worried about giving them permission to enter his home and he grumbled something about being able to handle anybody, so I let it go.
After Royal had left, I spent some time in front of the mirror adjusting my clothes, clothes being the technical term for the strips of cloth I had lashed around myself. I debated what to do with my skull and face region. Do I cover it up and let them wonder, although my eyes still looked pretty hideous, or do I go out to meet them with my head held high and let them deal with my meaty rawness? I decided to do both, drape my head and lower face, then pull back the cloth after a few minutes of conversation. I did want an honest reaction to my appearance. So far only Royal had seen me. He kept telling me I didn't look that bad, but I had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't being completely honest.
I was still fussing with my head scarf when I heard Royal usher in Sid and Spin.
"Where is she? We must see her immediately."
"Calm yourself, Sid."
Their voices cut through to my heart. I hadn't heard either of them in what felt like forever. In human terms, it had only been a few weeks since I'd left Spin in that tunnel, and only a few months since I'd seen Sid in the Circle of the Guard, where he betrayed me. Why are all my relationships so complicated? You'd think being a half-human, half-immortal time travelling raw meat covered humanoid with wings would be easy. Ah, sarcasm.
"She'll be out in a moment; I'm sure she heard you squawking."
"I do not squawk."
"Yes," I said, "you do."
I had spoken quietly from the shadows of the hallway, and all three men froze. I moved forward slowly, staying in the shadows.
"Sid and Spin. I like those names together; you sound like a children's show."
"My lady!" Spin spoke in a hushed whisper. "It is so good to see you again." He bowed low.
"It's good to see you too, both of you." I had reached the edge of the shadow; beyond this point was the bright living room where they'd be able to see all that I now was. I stopped on the edge of the shadow. I couldn't bring myself to step into the light.
"How did you find me?"
"I felt your power last night," Sid said. "I've spent most of my life tracking you, Phoenix. I know your signature."
When he said my name, something in my heart twitched, and a tear escaped my eye. It stung my cheek, and I exhaled sharply, my gloved hand snapping up to wipe it away.
"My lady, are you hurt?" Spin took a step forward, but Royal placed a hand on his shoulder.
"She'll come out when she's ready, boys."
"Yes, I am hurt." My stomach clenched. "I am very hurt. But I will heal."
I tried to take a deep breath, but at that moment my ribs weren't capable of movement. "To hell with this," I muttered to myself and stepped forward, pulling back my hood as I moved out into the light.
Their reactions were interesting. Royal had placed a preemptive hand on both their shoulders, but neither of them moved. They looked me up and down, their eyes flickering quickly, taking in my raw face and scanning over my mummy-wrapped body. Sid's face was scrunched into a tight look of anger while Spin's eyes were open like giant saucers.
"If your eyes get any wider, Spin, they're going to fall out." I tried to laugh, but it sounded dry and papery. "Sid, you can relax. I'm going to get better."
They both looked unconvinced; I crouched down in front of them.
"Look closely, and you'll see the skin starting to heal." I blinked at them. "And I have eyelids now, which is huge." I smiled a little overzealously and opened the cut at the corner of my mouth again. "Dammit." Royal tossed me a clean cloth, and I dabbed at the wound. "Sorry, this one keeps opening up. Gotta rein in the smiling. Or do it with half my mouth." I raised the one side of my face with a mock smile. Spin giggled.
"Stop it!" Sid's voice was harsh. "Stop trying to minimise this situation."
"Excuse me?" Thank god my eyelids had grown back, or my eyeballs would have been on the floor with Spin's.
"I know you, Phoenix. I know you better than I know any other creature in the Void. I have been searching for you since the dreadful blast at the City of Caves, and when I felt your power last night, I knew something was wrong. You felt different, not whole. And here you are, burned beyond recognition, raw flesh stretched over bone. It is shocking, disturbing, and you crack jokes? What is wrong with you?"
Sid's words were cut off by a particularly large glob of phlegm that had dislodged while he ranted, he coughed and hacked. Royal went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water. I stepped back and waited until Sid's coughing had subsided before I spoke.
"Watch it, Sid." He looked at me sharply, but his mouth was full of water so he couldn't respond. "You do not get to judge how I respond to something that is happening to me. This is my healing process; this is what my people do. We burn, and we are healed. It is our cycle, and I will do and say whatever I need to to get through this process. If you find my appearance disturbing, that's your problem, not mine. I didn't ask you here, and I'm not keeping you here." My power was rising; a dark flame flickered around my heart. "You can't handle my behaviour? You betrayed me to the Guard and disappeared after that battle, and still, I saved you from Ganaraj! You speak of the Caves; you have no idea what I went through there. After I had chopped off the head of Ganaraj, I had them take you first from the wall! I haven't seen you in months, and this is how you talk to me?" I stalked across the room and threw open the front door. "If you can't handle me, then leave! Go now and never cross my path again!"
My voice echoed around the room. The silence afterwards was deafening. Spin started to cry softly, as softly as a phlegm filled minion can. Sid just stared at me, his breathing the smoothest I'd ever heard from him. After a long moment of him staring and me holding onto the door with as tight a grip as my bony hand could handle, Sid wordlessly handed his glass to Royal and walked towards me. He stood before me and silently took my free hand in his. The smooth glove looked strange against his flakey skin. He held my hand gently, lovingly, and I was transported back to my apartment all those years ago when he would curl up with on the couch and watch movies, or sit in my room all night just to make sure I was okay. There were tears in his eyes when he looked at me. It broke my heart, but I didn't say a word.
"I am so sorry." His voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "I was just so worried about you and rather than tell you that, I chose anger.
You are resilient beyond my imagination, you always have been." He kissed my gloved hand. "I have made so many mistakes in my quest to keep you safe. It's taken me this long to realise that you didn't need that from me. You have a warrior's heart. You always have." He let my hand go and stood formally before me. "I am your servant, and maybe one day, I will be your friend again. Please accept my apology."
"Ah, Sid." I felt so weary like my bones had leaked out all their important juices. "Why does it have to be so hard?" I closed the door. "I accept your apology. I have a lot of questions for you that I'll need good answers for, but they can wait. Let's sit down and talk through all this Guard business first."
"Very good, my lady."
I turned to see Royal and Spin watching the show. Royal had his usual smirk going, and Spin was drenched with tears. We all moved to the living room.
6
"You look great, Spin." I put a hand on his shoulder, and he beamed. "I was worried about you."
"Thank you, Phoenix." He patted his scar. "You did the hard work."
"Let's just keep that part to ourselves for a little while."
"Right."
We both looked at Sid.
"Right," he nodded.
I'd have to trust Sid to keep his mouth shut. Spin had taken a blade to the gut when he helped me find Ganaraj, aka Big G, in the City of Caves. I'd been able to heal him before I'd gone and chopped off Big G's head. Healing across the species was a big no-no in the Void and part of the reason why the Guard had Banished me in the first place. But I was bigger and stronger now, well not right now, when I'm a beef-jerky covered frame of sticks, but when healed I'd be way too powerful for the Guard to push around. I hoped.
"So what happened after I exploded?" I made it deliberately light-hearted. Was I testing Sid even after I accepted his apology? Who me?
"The big dome the silver lady had trapped you in broke apart and melted into the ground." Spin's eyes filled with memory. "All the minions tried to rush in, but the blast was too powerful and threw us all back. There was smoke and flame everywhere. We couldn't breathe. So Gentip told us all to go back to the Caves for safety. So we did." He looked at me earnestly. "We wanted to find you, but it was too dangerous!"
Mend the Flesh (The Phoenix Series Book 3) Page 3