by CJ England
Danolas, she barely saw. He never offered to take her anywhere, a fact that confused her a great deal. He was polite and friendly when the company met in the evening, but nothing more. He hadn't been alone with her since that time in the kitchen, and she was beginning to think he was afraid of her, until he dropped in early one night to give her a replacement T-shirt for the one that had been ruined in the accident. He dropped it in her hands with a surly, “I thought you should have this", and then walked away. When she opened the package and saw the words, I can multi-task (talk and piss you off at the same time), printed across the delicate powder blue of the T-shirt, she laughed aloud, but that was the only personal contact they had.
It bothered her. Like the others, as she was around the High Priest, she began to see the type of man he was. Now, she understood Aebh's love for him. He was a fair and compassionate leader, and when Brianna spent time with the other Society members, she discovered very quickly how well liked and respected he was. Even his council, who'd disagreed with his original decision about joining with the Peacekeeper, trusted in him totally. His excellent handling of the last battle had made believers of them all.
Only in his First Acolyte did she sense any hesitation, but it wasn't ever something Jorad said, more how he acted. She wondered if he thought her being there might usurp his position, and that attributed to his coolness toward her. Brianna found she couldn't warm up to the young witch either, thinking it might be the fact he'd made her wait at the airport that first day. But he was loyal and a good worker, something she herself respected, so she tried to ignore the slight strain between them.
As the weeks went by, Brianna found herself wishing she did have that personal contact with Danolas. The closest she got, was when he sent her a schedule of training classes he expected her to join. She'd been excited at first, thinking he would be her teacher, but when she arrived at The Keep, there were several other older witches ready to take her through her paces.
She'd held her temper and tried to work with them, but as in Ireland, her control was iffy at best. Brianna laughed it off, saying she was tired or not feeling well, but in reality, she was embarrassed at her lack of skill. It had been her problem since childhood. It was frustrating to have all this strength, but no expertise to use it. And admitting that fact to Danolas was more than she could stomach. After a few lessons, she started making excuses, and then she quit showing up at all.
Instead, she snuck over to Benjamin's Institute and exercised in his Olympic size swimming pool. He had put it in early in his leadership for those mutants who loved the water. Brianna was a great swimmer, spending many days in the lough near the castle. She'd learned as a child how to craft a spell to allow her to hold her breath for great periods of time. Swimming relaxed her, and it kept her in shape. And, it gave her the opportunity to fill those hours she should be taking lessons with something else.
She didn't stop her training entirely, though. When she was alone, she would sneak off behind The Keep and use a concealing spell to hide her practicing. While she did gain some mastery of herself, she knew in a fight, she might do more harm than good. She prayed she wouldn't have the opportunity to find out.
Doing all that made it difficult to see the man who haunted her thoughts. Brianna wished Danolas would take her to the movies like Benjamin did, or on a sightseeing tour of Ghirardelli Square like she'd gone on with Lucas. She knew he was a good leader, of both his Society and as the temporary head of the Chosen, but she longed to know about him as a man. What was he really about? Did he have an unending appetite, like Lucas? Or know a plethora of dirty limericks, as Patrick did? Did he have family close by or were they far away?
But no matter what she tried, every time she tried to draw him out or get closer, he would smile politely and ease out of the conversation. Finally, after having the door slammed in her face one too many times, she swallowed down the heartache of knowing she was very attracted to someone who wanted nothing personally to do with her.
She spent the time instead, with Lucas, growing to care very much about the wolfman. She'd learned the sadness in his eyes was from losing Kira, and since she understood about loneliness and loss, they got along very well. They spent several long evenings talking, and he was the one who finally got her to say why she collected all the T-shirts with crazy sayings.
"You started collecting them because Aebh told you to learn to hold your tongue?” Lucas shook his head as they stepped off the elevator into The Loft's main room. They'd just returned from a rousing game of foosball at a local watering hole. “I don't get it."
Brianna giggled and pointed to her T-shirt of the night. It offered the opinion, Cancel my subscription, ‘cause I don't need your issues. “I couldn't say the things I wanted to out loud, so I decided to wear them instead. ‘Tis my way of getting ‘round it, you see."
The werewolf burst into laughter. “Oh, Irish. What a twisted mind you have."
She grinned and wrapped her arms around him for a hug. “Only second to yours, you know."
He hugged her back. “Wanna go play mini-golf tomorrow?"
She lifted her head and her dull brown eyes met his. “If you like. I had fun tonight."
His silver eyes gleamed and then narrowed as he stared down at her. They were both suddenly very still as a pregnant silence filled the room. Her heart skipped a beat and she held her breath as his head slowly lowered to hers.
Chapter 6
Danolas froze in shock at the sight that met him as he walked out of The Loft's office. He'd been there late, finishing up some last minute paperwork when he heard the elevator ding. Hoping it was Brianna, wanting to see her even though he knew it was unreasonable, he'd eagerly shut down the computer and gone to the door to fling it open.
He hadn't expected to see the woman who filled his dreams with sweaty imaginings, standing in the arms of one of his best friends. The passionate kiss was obviously reciprocated; their arms were wrapped around each other, their bodies pressed tightly together. He blinked, but the couple didn't move, so stiffly, he eased back into the office and shut the door.
Lucas lifted his head and stared down at Brianna. She stared back at him. His arms dropped away, as did hers, and they both took a step backwards.
"Well, hell,” Lucas said, frowning disgustedly at her. “I hate to tell you this, but that was like kissing my sister."
She blinked once and then bit her lip. Then, she started to giggle so hard he had to pull her back into his arms to keep her from falling over. “By the Saints,” she managed. “I don't think I've ever felt anything quite so ... un-lover like before."
Lifting a pale brow, Lucas wondered if she'd just insulted his masculinity. Then, his sense of the ridiculous took over. It was obvious they weren't meant to be anything, but friends. Shaking his head, he chuckled. “First, Kira chooses Gallegar, and now you kiss me like a kid sister might. I'm gonna get a complex."
"Nay,” she said, with another quick laugh. “Wait till you're as old as I am and you've seen all your family and friends marry themselves off. Don't you Yanks have an expression ... always a bridesmaid ... never a bride?” She pouted prettily. “Aye, well ... I'm the poster child for that one."
He snickered and hugged her, feeling a camaraderie he'd not experienced before, even with Kira. “It's good we know, though."
"Aye,” she answered, hugging him back. “I need a friend like you, Lucas. If you'll have me?"
Lucas dropped a friendly kiss on her nose. “Damn straight I will. Who else will go to the games with me if you won't?"
* * * *
On the other side of the door, fury rolled through Danolas, fueled by dark jealousy and pain at the thought of Brianna kissing anyone, but him. It didn't make sense, he didn't have the right, but that made no difference to the emotions churning in him now. He leaned back against the door and struggled not to race back out and tear the two of them apart.
He'd fought the attraction, fought wanting to get close to her. Even passed he
r training on to others because he wasn't sure he could trust himself to be around her. The fact she'd blown off the teaching infuriated him, but he found it hard to reprimand her without choking on his own hypocrisy. But he knew he couldn't be around her. The desire he felt for her was impossible. They were too different, too much the opposite of each other. And he was her High Priest now. She was under his protection and he refused to take advantage of her. As Benjamin said about his own love life ... Don't let your little head make decisions for your big head.
Danolas closed his eyes. Crudely put, but truth, and he was determined to follow it. But it sure didn't help when his “little head” was talking so loudly about everything. Brianna was fun and filled with life, and the few times he allowed himself to talk to her, he enjoyed it. He didn't even care she was unattractive; he just wanted to get closer to her.
And he was jealous of the time she spent with the other Chosen. He wanted to be the one to take her out and show her the town. To watch her laugh at the sea lions and hold her close on some smoky dance floor. He wanted it so badly, he could barely control himself sometimes when he saw her. That, in itself, frightened him and made it easier to back away. Danolas refused to get involved with anyone who could make him lose control. Especially, if all it was about, was sex. He was the High Priest. Losing control was not an option.
But everyday she was around, that control slipped a little more, and seeing her tonight pulled on the already short leash of his temper. Anger at the memory of her holding Lucas close, shot through him again and he gave an unpriestly-like snarl. Just how far had she and the wolfman gone? Did she always end one of her dates with the Chosen this way? Would she take Lucas upstairs to her bed?
That thought strained the last thread of control he had. Whirling around, he pushed the door open, his sapphire eyes shining in rage. He blinked once when he saw Brianna standing alone by the elevator, a bemused look on her face. She kicked off her sandals and then traced her fingers over her lips. His anger flared again at the intimate reminder.
"Finished?” he growled.
Brianna turned and saw him, her face lighting up in a smile. His being here was a welcome surprise. She'd missed him earlier when she'd stopped by The Keep. “Danolas. Sure, and it's good to see you."
"Is it?” he answered in a nasty tone. “Isn't one man enough for you?"
She started to laugh and then saw the look on his face as he walked closer. It was lit with a fury she didn't understand. Instinctively, she took a step backwards. Then the words he said to her filtered through her brain and she shook her head in confusion. “What? I don't understand you."
He came closer, towering over her diminutive form. “I just wondered if you were expecting me to be dessert. Or do you have another assignation waiting, and after Lucas, I'd be the main course?"
Her body reacted before her brain finished understanding the insulting words. Her hand arced out and slapped him, sending him reeling back several steps. But before anger could take her, hurt coated her heart and soul with ice. She closed her eyes, not seeing him wipe the blood from his mouth caused by her blow. She felt physically sick, numb and paralyzed. Even breathing took effort. The pain was huge, so deep and unexpectedly crippling, it shocked her.
He thought that of her? That she would do such a thing? What had she ever done to make him think she was a scrubber ... a female with such low morals she would jump from bed to bed? And with men she called her friends? She wondered suddenly, if the others thought that way too. Had they taken her lonely attempts to make friends as something more? Embarrassment painted her face pink at the thought and making a muted sound, she tried to turn away.
He grabbed her arm. “You aren't going anywhere,” he snarled. “I'm not done with—"
Using some hidden reserve of inner strength, Brianna jerked away from him. Her eyes finally lifted and her gaze met his. “How could you?” she whispered. “How could you think such a thing of me?"
Danolas drew in his breath. He forgot his anger, forgot the slap she'd given him. All he could see was the shattered look in her eyes. She was so pale, so still. Fragile in a way he'd never expected from her. She gave him such a look of naked pain, he reached for her, but she shied away from him, bumping back against the doors of the elevator.
"Don't,” she breathed out, her voice a desperate murmur. “Please ... let me go."
It was worse than if she'd raged at him. Temper he could handle, but the intense pain he saw on her face showed him a side of her he never expected. In that second, he realized just how badly he'd misjudged her. The realization struck him like a blow to the chest and his eyes burned with an emotion he refused to name. He'd been wrong because he'd been jealous and he'd hurt her. Unable to do anything else, he ignored her feeble attempts to wriggle away and pulled her into his arms instead.
"Please, leannan,” he muttered. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He felt even worse when tears dampened his shirt. Brianna was so strong and so damn proud; he knew what it cost her to let him see them. “Forgive me. I was wrong. I...” He paused, not wanting to tell her the truth. “I shouldn't have said that. It was vile, and I know untrue."
"Why, then,” she asked, sniffing back tears. “Why would you say it?"
He struggled for several long moments, before giving in. “I walked in when you and Lucas were kissing. I ... I didn't like it."
She lifted her head from his chest. “What?"
Grinding his teeth in embarrassment, he took a deep breath. “I was jealous, all right? I can't stop thinking about you ... about the kiss we shared. I heard you come in and when I walked out you were kissing him!"
Brianna's eyes widened. “But ... you don't even want to be around me. I've asked you to come with me to do things, and you always say no. You don't like me, that's easy to see."
"I do like you,” Danolas insisted. “I've stopped by other times to see you and you're always gone. Tonight, I gave myself excuses to stay, hoping to spend time with you, but..."
"But you saw me and Lucas mashing lips."
His mouth quirked up at the terminology. “Yes.” He bent and kissed the top of her head without thinking, enjoying the sweet scent of the perfume she wore. It reminded him of the fresh sea breezes off the coast of Galway. “It bothers me in a way I don't understand. I have no claim on you, Brianna. We are too different, too opposite in our thinking and actions to think we can make something of this ... attraction, but I'm tired of pretending it isn't there."
She wondered if he knew his apology was almost as painful as his insult. Admitting his need for her, yet in the same breath, saying it was nothing important. Wanting her, but not liking the woman she was. He wanted someone different. She sighed, knowing he'd become important to her whether she liked it or not. If he didn't matter, he couldn't have hurt her as he did. But he did ... a great deal, and she wasn't going to pretend any longer, either.
"You matter to me, Danolas,” she said quietly. “I've wished it was you squiring me around town."
His arms tightened around her. “I wished the same. You spent all your time with the others. I was jealous of that, too."
"You know,” she murmured, instinctively moving closer to him. “They say opposites attract. Who says something might not come of this?"
He stiffened slightly and her spirits sank. Would he give her nothing? Her eyes filled when he spoke, each word battering an already tender heart.
"I will not lead you on, leannan. I care about you and I would like to know you better, but you are not a woman I can have a future with. I know what I need, and you see ... I want very much to find what Kira and Gallegar have."
She swallowed back tears. “But not with me."
"Forgive me.” Danolas tried to ease away from her. “In trying to be honest, I've hurt you more. It wasn't my intention."
Brianna shook her head and held on to him. Her heart ached, but she refused to let him go. “I know. I don't blame you.” She took a deep breath and offered a piece of he
r heart to him. “But ... no one said this has to be forever.” Lifting her eyes, she met his azure gaze. “We know what this is. We want each other. We even care about each other. Can't that be enough?"
It should have been perfect. She was pressed against him, that soft warm body already making his hum with desire. She was offering herself to him. No strings attached. An adult relationship, between two people, who knew exactly what they were doing.
So why did it feel so wrong?
"Brianna,” he managed, as he held her even closer. “I don't want to hurt you."
She offered him a little smile. “And who says I won't hurt you?"
He couldn't help himself. Her lips were so close, that lopsided pout so inviting. Bending, he grazed his mouth across hers. Once, twice, three times. Then, he heard her moan.
And his control disappeared.
His mouth crushed down on hers, as he pushed her back, hard, against the closed elevator doors. His mouth moved over hers deeply, greedily, starved for the very taste of her. She tasted like he remembered; a mixture of spicy and sweet, and he dimly recognized the smoky flavor of caramel as his tongue dipped between her lips to take the kiss deeper. He couldn't get enough, his mouth devouring her as they stood heartbeat to heartbeat.
Danolas felt, rather than heard her moan this time. The sound reverberated through him and his whole body hardened in a glorious rush. His mouth continued to taste her as his hands grabbed her light jacket and peeled it off. The T-shirt followed and he groaned when he discovered she was naked underneath. Breaking off the kiss, he reared back and stared down at her. She was small, but perfectly shaped, with inviting pink nipples that were already pointed and hard with desire.
"Beautiful,” he muttered, as he filled his hands with the soft mounds. “I knew you'd be beautiful under all those ugly clothes."