by CJ England
His face showed his utter shock.
"'Tisn't it bad enough,” she snarled, “you'll take your pleasure with me, while you continue to look for your perfect lady? That, in itself, should be enough to destroy me, but I tolerate the pain because of how I feel about you. But now you ask I sup and drink with you and your mate as if you and I never shared anything at all?” Her anger grew as she thought of how she'd been willing to take anything he had to give her, yet he expected so much more. Picking up his staff, she threw it at him. Only his quick reflexes kept it from crashing against the wall. Fury overcame pride.
"I didn't want this. I fought against it, but the heart rarely listens to the mind. For all my sorrows, for all my pain I did the one thing I swore not to do.” She tossed her head.
"I fell in love with you."
Danolas’ eyes flared a deep blue. “Leannan—"
"Don't!” she shrieked. “Don't you dare call me sweetheart or anything else. I'm not, and I never will be. What type of arrogance does it take to think you can arrange everyone's life to suit your own? You don't want me as wife, that's fine, but once it's over don't you dare ask me to be your friend. That ... that I don't have in me to give.” She whirled and paced over to the fireplace, standing naked and proud before him.
"You want us to join our bodies now in pleasure ... that I can accept. I will share myself with you, body and soul. I will love you and stand by your side. But I won't watch you fall in love with another. I'll not be family to children you give another woman. I will not be a part of your life when that happens. I can't. My power may be the strongest of my generation. But my heart...” She pounded on her chest with her clenched fist. “My heart is not.” Her tear-filled eyes met his.
"'Tis my choice to make, Danolas, just as it was my choice to tell you I love you. You have a right to know and I'm not ashamed of it. Take me as I am, for I'll not change for you or any other man.” Her chin went up and he watched as she began to fade from sight.
"I love you Danolas ... but from now on if you want me, you will have me on my terms, not your own."
* * * *
Only the sound of laughter and shouting brought Danolas out of his numbed state of being. After Brianna left him, he could only sit, still feeling the warmth of her body in the tumbled sheets of the bed. Her heartbroken words pounded in his head and he felt every one of those curses she'd once rained down on his head. He surely deserved them.
Hadn't he known he could hurt her? He'd said it to everyone who'd listen, yet when it was most important, he'd forgotten it himself. He shook his head. Had he really been so blasé as to suggest they could see each other after his mate arrived on the scene? As emotional and open as Brianna was, how could he have even thought something like that would work.
She loved him. That knowledge curled around his heart and he felt a fulfillment he'd longed for his whole life. She. Loved. Him. He could barely believe it. He'd wanted to be loved for himself and now he was. By Brianna. She would love him completely ... totally. Holding nothing back. It would be wonderful and ... His heart sank. Frightening, messy, and inconvenient. But no matter how she felt about him, she wasn't for him. Her love really changed nothing. His own desires and the vision prevented anything else from happening.
So what should he do? Take what she was offering and enjoy the physical connection they felt. It was strong enough so they touched on the psychic plain. That was evident by the surprising fact they could sometimes mind-speak. But when the time came and he had to walk away ... what would that do to her? Wouldn't it be worse to share his life with her now, knowing she loved him, but it couldn't be forever?
The noise downstairs grew louder, and grimacing, Danolas went in to shower and change. He was right back where he started the first time he kissed her. His body reacted to his thoughts and he swore. Not exactly. Now he knew what making love with Brianna was like. He knew how she felt wrapped around him in ultimate surrender. And he was very much afraid that knowledge would make the decision for him.
* * * *
"Aebh...” Brianna hugged her mentor hard, fighting back the urge to burst into tears. “I have missed you so much."
The High Priestess smiled gently. “My daughter. I have missed you, too."
"Are you well?” Brianna looked over the older woman critically. Aebh was tall and stately, with austere features and firm lips that covered a gentle heart. Her soft white hair and lined face made less severe by her sparkling intelligent eyes, but today she looked tired. “Are you taking your herbs?"
"Aye. Shannon takes good care of me.” She glanced at the young witch who'd taken over when Brianna left. “She may not be as strong, but she listens."
"We've noticed Brianna has a mind of her own,” Gallegar said jokingly, coming forward to give his own greeting to the older witch. “But she has become every important to us."
Aebh lifted a pale brow. “Indeed? And where is the High Priest? Where is Danolas? It is he whose care I placed my girl in."
Brianna swallowed. “Please, I need to speak to you."
Compassion touched the old woman's face. “You think I need you to tell me what has happened, daughter?” Her gray eyes lifted. “Ahhh, here he comes now."
"My lady!” Danolas swept forward to bow before the High Priestess and then, just as quickly he pulled her against him for a careful hug. “You look wonderful."
"You always were a flatterer.” But the High Priestess went pink in the face at his words. She took in his still damp hair and fresh robes as she sat down in a nearby chair. “I am pleased to have you home, little Adonis."
Patrick choked back a laugh, while Benjamin gave a loud snort. “Little Adonis?"
Danolas flushed a deep red. “Damn it, Aebh."
A smile touched the lined face. “He was always the handsomest of boys. The nickname was given him when he was just a child."
"It fits well.” Kira giggled as she too gave Aebh a hug. “I thought he was most beautiful when I first met him."
"I'm going to throw up now,” Lucas complained. He slugged Danolas in the arm. “You want I should mess that pretty face up a bit for you?"
"Thank you, no,” responded the embarrassed witch. “I think my appearance is the least of our problems."
"I would be curious to know what you consider the most important problem,” Aebh said quietly, her gaze going between him and Brianna.
The High Priest met her eyes squarely. “I am worried about Brianna's safety. Twice she has been attacked. I will not allow a third time."
Aebh's wise eyes saw more than just priestly concern in his tense face. “I see. And do the others agree this is the most important issue ... Brianna's safety?"
"We do,” Gallegar agreed with an elegant nod of his head.
"I believe the Sceptre of Power is more important,” Brianna said at the same time. She and the vampire frowned at each other.
"But are they not both wrapped up together?” The old witch folded her hands serenely in front of her and waited patiently.
"Yes,” put in Kira. “Our goal is to find out what happened to the Sceptre, but Brianna must be kept safe while we do so."
"Perhaps we can discuss this further in the library.” Koran stepped into the foyer where they were gathered. “Mrs. Donnelly has just put out afternoon tea."
Kira clapped her hands. “With scones and jam?"
Her brother grinned. “Strawberry."
Plucking at Aebh's sleeve, Brianna ignored the others. “Please ... Aebh, I must speak with you. Privately."
The old woman sighed. “Are you sure you wish to do this?"
Brianna nodded, not even noticing the older witch had read her mind. It wasn't the first time. “I am.” She shot a look at Danolas, who was gazing at her with narrowed eyes. She deliberately turned back to Aebh. “I must."
"Then if that is the case, you must do what needs to be done in front of witnesses.” Aebh lifted an eyebrow. “These will do."
Her knees began to shake. “But High
Priestess,” Brianna whispered. “Allow me to do it in front of our own people."
"The High Priest and the Chosen are our people now.” Aebh's tone brooked no argument. “Say your piece, my daughter. Perhaps, it is for the best, anyway."
"Brianna—” Awareness flared in his eyes, as Danolas took a step toward her.
Quickly, Brianna dropped to her knees and bowed her head. Best she do this now or she might not be strong enough later. She cleared her throat. “I humbly come before you to thank you for the opportunity you've given me to learn about a different Society. My time there was...” she paused briefly, “rich and full. But I ask now, that you take me back under your protection. Allow me to once again serve as First Acolyte to the High Priestess of Dunguaire Castle and of Ireland.” Her voice broke. “Please, Aebh ... I want to come home."
Everyone in the small room had gone still at her words. Danolas stood as if he'd been carved from stone. Brianna purposely didn't look his way, knowing he would be furious. To ask to be released from another Priest's protection was a great insult.
Aebh put her gnarled hand on Brianna's head. Her shrewd eyes lifted to Danolas’ tense face. “And what say you to this, High Priest of San Francisco? I gave you my daughter to protect and to train. To use as a weapon in the war that threatens you and ultimately every witch. Yet, now she asks to return to me. Is she no longer needed?"
Danolas stepped forward, anger tightening his features. He wanted to pick Brianna up and drag her back upstairs to his bed. He'd be damned if he'd let her walk away from him in such a manner. He knew he'd been stupid, but that was personal ... between the two of them. It had nothing to do with the war, or the Sceptre. He would make her understand that very quickly. “My lady,” he gritted out, trying not to shout. “I do need the witch, Brianna. On the quest for the Sceptre of Power and to fight for the Power in San Francisco. I will not release her back to you."
Brianna gave a soft gasp at his response. Her head jerked up and her shocked gaze met his hard one. “But—"
"You have a bad habit, leannan, of sharing things in public that should be talked of first, in private,” Danolas interrupted her. “Do you wish to continue our earlier conversation here?"
Her eyes grew huge. “NO!"
He sketched a shallow bow, trying to rein back his temper. How easily she could make him lose it, was still a shock to him. “Then, you have my answer. I will not give you back. I shall make it even simpler for you. You belong to me."
Aebh considered him thoughtfully. “You will not give me my acolyte if I ask it of you?"
Danolas clenched his jaw. “Aebh ... I would do anything you ask of me, you know that, but this..."
Sighing, Aebh turned back to Brianna and lifted her chin with one finger. “Are you so unhappy, my dear?"
Brianna's gaze flicked between her mentor and Danolas. “I ... think ... I think I will be."
The old witch nodded. “Then I will take your request under advisement.” She looked over at Danolas. “I will not allow you to keep her if she is unhappy. No matter what the form ... or tradition. She is not an object to be easily traded, but a woman, with a soul and heart."
Danolas ground his teeth. He wanted to argue, but there was a part of him who knew he didn't have the right. “In that we are agreed, Aebh,” he answered instead. “Brianna is a woman with heart, and very special to me ... to us all. She deserves to be happy. But for as long as we search for the magical Sceptre of Power, she will be under my protection. I will be the one to keep her safe. On this, I will brook no arguments."
"And afterwards?"
His stomach rolled again at the thought of Brianna leaving him, but he knew he had no choice. “After this quest is over, I ... I will revisit this request."
Aebh nodded, seemingly pleased. “As will I."
Lucas cleared his throat. “Does this mean we can go eat?"
Everyone laughed and the thick tension lessened. Aebh smiled at the shapeshifter. “Aye, go have your tea, young man. I do not want a starving werewolf in my house."
Benjamin slugged his friend's arm. “Yeah ... he might chew on the furniture."
Lucas growled and caught Benjamin in a headlock. “Let's see if you can eat anything after I bloody that smart-ass mouth of yours."
Chuckling at the byplay, Aebh turned back to the silent Brianna. “I am doing what I think is best, my daughter."
Nodding, Brianna fought back tears. She felt, rather than saw Danolas leave with the others for tea. At least he had the grace to give her some privacy now. “I know, but it hurts. Lord, I didn't know a body could hurt so bad."
"Then you love him, do you, child?” Aebh's voice was whisper soft.
Brianna nodded. “Aye ... but then you knew that, didn't you?"
"'Tis in your face when you look at him. He cares for you as well."
"He wants me.” Brianna wiped a tear away. “But only for a quick toss, not to love.” She lifted her tearstained face to her mentor's. “He's promised to someone else."
Instead of looking alarmed, the old woman only smiled. “Danolas is a good man. One, who has carried many responsibilities on those broad shoulders. He's been through difficulties we can only imagine. And he's learned, to be a good leader, you sometimes have to separate yourself from others. And that, my dear, is a very lonely place to be."
"He is always so serious and driven,” Brianna murmured. “I want to make him laugh, or at least give a little smile."
"And you do,” Aebh rejoined. “You probably make him feel many emotions. And for a man like Danolas, that can be frightening. And anything frightening is suspect."
"But what can I do?” The younger witch laid her head in Aebh's lap as she'd wanted to from the beginning. “I feel so torn. I want to be with him, but I can't. He's waiting for his perfect lady mate to come along and sweep him off his feet. I am no lady."
"Do you remember when I said you would not stay here, at Dunguaire Castle? That I felt your destiny awaited you elsewhere? We both assumed it would be when you were offered that posting in Venice with the High Priest there? You had always dreamed of visiting Italy."
Brianna frowned and lifted her head. “Aye. But what we thought was another First Acolyte's position turned out to be only secretarial, so I didn't go."
"So, what you'd dreamed of didn't turn out to be what was real, did it?"
The younger witch's eyes widened. “No ... it wasn't."
"Then, perhaps what Danolas wishes for isn't his true destiny either. A powerful man can be a stubborn man and it will take a strong woman to make him see that. Remember...” Aebh cupped Brianna's soft cheek in her wrinkled hand. “Not all is as it seems, Brianna. You, more than any other should know that."
Looking down at herself, Brianna managed a chuckle. “Aye. You are right about that. Things aren't what they seem. I'd almost forgotten. And I will take your words to heart. I've never been one to give up so easily."
"When the heart is involved, many things become more difficult, daughter. ‘Tis a matter of you understanding what you truly want."
"I know I want him,” Brianna whispered, a flare of hope in her eyes. “But I can't make him want me back. Not in that way at least."
The High Priestess gave an unladylike snort, so out of character, it made Brianna blink. “Then, use what you have, my girl. You've been graced with all the necessary attributes to turn a man's head. Use them."
"Aebh!” The younger witch gasped.
"I'm old, but I'm not dead,” Aebh remarked with a twinkle in her old eyes.
Brianna giggled. “If you're telling me to seduce him, ‘tis too late. I've already done that, and more than once."
"Truly?” Aebh looked intrigued for a moment, then she shook herself. “There are other ways to seduce a man, my dear. Things he doesn't expect a woman to do. For example, a man likes to be surprised now and then."
"I believe I've given him a few surprises in the past. I'm not sure he enjoyed them.” Grinning, Brianna leaned up and kissed t
he older witch's cheek. “But I think I do know of one, but ‘twill need your help. I truly would like to be myself again. In all ways. I know I'm still under Danolas’ command, but in this case..."
Her mentor laughed, as she understood what Brianna was asking. “I think that is possible. Since I gave you the edict, I can remove it just as easily. You are safe enough here, in this place. I give you my permission."
Relief shot through Brianna and she climbed to her feet. “I thank you.” She helped Aebh to her feet and then hugged her. “I won't come in. I have things to do. It may take a while. Will you make my apologies?"
"He will wonder where you are."
Brianna smiled. “Let him wonder."
* * * *
And he did wonder. And fume and grumble. Where was she? Why hadn't she come to tea? Was she hiding, afraid to face him? When Danolas asked, Aebh told him little, other than Brianna had things to do. So he'd waited, the whole afternoon long. He'd panicked once, thinking maybe she'd run from him, but a quick check of her aura, showed she was in her room, with a privacy shield erected. He'd wanted to go to her, but had to respect the shield. It meant she didn't want to see anyone and he figured he was on the top of the list.
He was infuriated by the way she'd tried to get out from under his protection. Danolas knew he'd hurt her, but he hadn't believed she would go so far as to renounce him as witch tradition dictated. Once the anger receded, he realized just how deeply she must have been wounded to do such a thing. He frowned, knowing he had to talk to her. They couldn't work together ... couldn't go on the quest for the Sceptre with this between them. The ups and downs of wanting Brianna was tiring him out.
"If you keep frowning, that ole line between your eyes will stick,” drawled Patrick in amusement. He floated in through the door followed by Lucas, Benjamin and Koran. Danolas’ acolyte, Jorad, slipped in behind them. “Then ya'll won't have to worry ‘bout being an Adonis."