Inner Demons

by Amanda Strong

  “Stop,” the bug croaked. “Blake, wait.”

  I gaped at the bug, the sudden change in tone shocking me.

  Blake hesitated. The broken shard remained frozen in his hand, which I noticed was now trembling.

  The bug groaned. “I don’t want to kill you. Just get out of its way. She’s the one it wants.” Although still in the bug form, we both knew it was Jaxon pleading with Blake.

  “Like hell I don’t! I need answers. She has answers!” the bug immediately roared.

  “If you want her, you go through me,” Blake shouted, his muscles tightening again. His knuckles turned white with how hard he griped the broken glass. It was then I noticed the blood streaming down his hand.

  “Wait, Blake. Let me talk to him,” I begged. I knew I should flee, but I couldn’t.

  “Get back, Sam!” Blake commanded through gritted teeth.

  “What answers?” I quickly asked. There was something in those black eyes, something the bug wanted from me, and I was starting to believe it wasn’t just my life anymore.

  “What did you do to us?” the bug hissed, thrashing his head side to side while still pinned. A shudder ran through the bug’s body. “What did you do to us?” he repeated, this time with a wail.

  “What? I didn’t do anything!” I said, but despite my better judgment, I drew nearer.

  “Your special blend!” the bug gurgled out as sobs began racking his frame. “Should have been smart about it, but I was so curious.”

  Blake’s grip had slackened slightly, allowing the bug to speak more freely. The glass was still ready, poised in the air.

  “What are you talking about?” Blake demanded.

  “Sammy’s so special,” the bug slurred. “Had to know. Had to try.”

  Was it just me, or were his words slowing down? I flew closer. “My blend? You mean because you took my blood that it changed you somehow?”

  The bug chuckled mirthlessly. “If only I had been satisfied with the taste of your blood, but I went back… back to the woods… when you were unconscious… in my cave… and found… what you dropped—” The bug’s head slumped to the side, his enormous black eyes shutting.

  “No!” I cried, rushing forward. Blake released his hold on his brother, his eyes wide with bewilderment.

  “I didn’t do anything,” Blake said almost defensively to me. As the bug’s body slumped down, Blake carefully laid him on the ground, making sure his head didn’t smack the tile floor.

  I dropped down to my knees, mesmerized by the bug’s form changing before us. Within seconds, a half-naked Jaxon was curled up on the ground. Blake’s fingers ran down his brother’s arm, pulling out the dart that was now clearly visible.

  Mack’s voice from behind made me jump. “I got the tranquilizer gun as fast as I could. Everyone okay?”

  So that’s where he went. Mack’s eyes scanned me up and down, making me flush. “We’re fine, Mack. The bug was telling us something.”

  “Oh.” I heard regret in Mack’s voice. “Sorry.”

  Blake straightened up. “No need to be; you did the right thing.”

  Mack nodded, still seeming unsure. “Did you learn anything before I… knocked him out?”

  I ran my hands through my hair, exhaling. “Sounds like Jaxon, or the bug, went back into the woods to get the bag Sammy dropped when he took her. And whatever was in it is freaking him out now.”

  Chapter 24

  Both guys stared at me, Blake’s expression hard to read. Blake hadn’t wanted me anywhere near Jaxon. And what did I do? Snuck in here and said, ‘Here I am, Jaxon.’ My insides squirmed. I put Blake in a horrible position, one that involved choosing my life or his brother’s. I knew what decision he’d made today, and I could only guess it had to eat at him.

  “I better get Jaxon back into his room,” Blake said, his eyes lingering on me for half a second before he carefully swooped his brother up into his arms.

  We followed him down the hall, as Mack asked, “How did he get out anyway? The door has a lock on it.”

  * * *

  “I had to get some air, and Jaxon rushed me before I could get the door shut. He’s never really tried to escape before, so it took me by surprise. He had me shoved up against the wall before I even knew what hit me,” Blake admitted. “I guess he’d sensed you were here, Sam.”

  I cringed. I’m such an idiot. Why on earth did I come here today?

  I was saved from responding because both Blake and Mack ducked into Jaxon’s room. I remained planted in the hall, feeling too ashamed to move. When the guys emerged a few moments later, Blake’s hand was bandaged from where the broken vase had cut him. I knew he only did that to keep blood from going everywhere while the wound healed itself.

  I couldn’t miss the look of defeat in his eyes. I wanted to comfort him, but I was so afraid I’d been the one who’d made things so much worse for Jaxon.

  “You think the bug took something that was in Sammy’s bag?” Mack asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

  I nodded. “That might be why he got so agitated today when you asked about it, Blake. Whatever was in that bag, it’s bothering him now. I think that’s why he wanted to see me today. The desire to know what Sammy had done to him outweighed the urge to kill me.” Blake frowned. “I’ll wait until he wakes up and try to ask him again. Maybe Jaxon can tell me about it before the bug takes over again.”

  “No,” I said, reaching out to touch Blake’s arm. “Don’t ask Jaxon. I don’t think he remembers any of it, or he would have told you about it the last time you’d asked him. Besides, it will only make the bug come back. Let’s give Jaxon a break. I think there are other ways we can find out.”

  “You mean Tonbo’s therapy?” Blake asked, and my face heated. After today’s session, I really didn’t want to do it again. The lingering effects of it still had me feeling funny being near Mack and Blake at the same time. I knew Mack didn’t know exactly what I’d felt and seen today, but after our earlier encounter, I think he had a hunch.

  Mack’s eyes sought out mine, but I ducked my head. “No. I mean, I can do it again, if that’s what it takes, but there might be someone else I can talk to.”

  “Jocelyn,” Mack offered.

  Seeing Blake’s confusion, I quickly filled him in. As soon as he heard my sister was dating Kory, a frown etched its way across his face.

  “Jaxon saw Sammy give Jocelyn a package,” I said, reminding them, “Maybe if we know what was in that package, we can figure out what was in Sammy’s bag too,” I offered.

  Blake sighed. “That may work, but only Jaxon, or the bug, knows for certain what was in the bag he snatched. We should stay here and ask him when he comes to.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t stay, Blake. I need to get home to my sister, find out what she knows. Besides, I only make it worse for Jaxon.” I knew I just reminded Blake how stupid I was to come here, all over again. He’ll be glad to get me away from his brother.

  I was shocked when Blake pulled me to him instead.

  “I’m so sorry, Sam,” he whispered. “Of course you want to talk to Jocelyn.”

  I hadn’t realized how much I needed his touch. My body melted into him, my lungs feeling like they could finally breathe again. His embrace chased everything else away, even if it was only temporary. I wished I could stay here, leaning against his chest, forever, letting the thrumming of his heart soothe me, but the desire to get out of this place won out.

  Glancing up, I caught Mack quickly averting his eyes from me. I felt a twinge of guilt. Darn it. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m with Blake. Not Mack. Still, even as I justified it, my heart hurt to see the sadness in his eyes.

  Mack cleared his throat. “Why don’t you both go home? I’ll stay here and check on Jaxon, make sure I didn’t use too much tranq,” he added with a wry grin.

  Blake separated himself from me, so he could look Mack in the eye. “No, I’ll stay. You and Sam should go home. Jocelyn knows Sammy and y
ou were together, Mack. She might open up more with you there.”

  My insides seized up when I heard Blake say Sammy was with Mack. The images of kissing Mack filled me with an odd longing again. Uh-oh. I can’t fly home with Mack. I need you, Blake.

  Mack held up his hand, almost as if he knew my inner turmoil. “Blake, you could use a break. You’ve been here all morning. I’ve got this. I’ll wait until Jaxon is up and feeling good. Then I’ll question him.”

  Seeing the dark circles under Blake’s aqua eyes, I knew he was right.

  Blake’s lips twitched as he considered the offering before he finally relented. “Alright, but don’t question him alone. Have some techs here with you to help out if needed.”

  Mack patted the tranquilizer gun that hung from his hip. “Don’t worry; I’ll keep this baby handy too.” He gave us a lopsided grin. I was sure it was meant to reassure us.

  As we passed, Blake reached out and gripped Mack’s shoulder. “Thanks, man. I appreciate this.”

  Mack nodded. “Sure thing.” Mack’s eyes met mine, and his smile grew.

  “Be careful,” I said. “I don’t think the bug’s going to like the fact I’m gone and he didn’t get answers.”

  Mack gave my arm a squeeze. “I’ll be fine. Go talk to your sister.”

  I gave him a nod, trying to give him the same reassuring smile he was giving me, and then followed after Blake, swallowing down the lump lodged in my throat.

  Mack’s going to be fine, I told myself as we cleared the compound. As if sensing my turmoil, Blake’s hand found mine. Wordlessly, we flew back to Tonbo’s City. It didn’t take us long to gather up our things. We exchanged a few small pleasantries, but neither of us brought up anything of importance. The undercurrent of strain between us felt palpable to me. I assumed him not bringing up me going to see Jaxon behind his back meant he was upset enough to be weighing his words.

  As we left the room we’d stayed in, he reached for my arm.

  “Wait,” he said, stopping me in the doorway. “Before we take off, I want to talk to you about something.”

  I met his gaze and admitted, “I messed up today, Blake. I’m so sorry.”

  Panic flitted through his eyes as he hesitated. But then, he said, “No, don’t be sorry, Sam. I understand. I’m sure it has to be so confusing for you.”

  “I wouldn’t say confusing,” I answered, my brows gathering. “More like frustrating. But I shouldn’t have… done what I did. I feel bad for the pain it caused you. You shouldn’t have to choose like that.”

  Now his brow line matched mine. “I’m not the one who has to choose, Sam. I made my decision years ago. You’ll always be the only one for me.”

  “But you shouldn’t have to choose me over your brother!” I countered, my bottom lip trembling. “I’m so sorry that you had to fight Jaxon again today because of me.”

  Blake’s eyes widened. “You think I’m upset you came to Jaxon’s holding cell today?”

  “Y-yes.” My voice cut out on me. Clearing it, I added, “Aren’t you?”

  “Going to Jaxon’s is what you meant by messing up then?” he asked, his expression eager.

  “Well, yeah. What else would I be talking about?” I asked, completely confused.

  “You mean, you and Mack didn’t kiss?”

  “What? No!” My faced flushed.

  Blake didn’t answer me. He just pulled me to him, his lips meeting mine. It didn’t take me long to realize by the way he gripped my body tightly against his that he’d feared he’d lost me again. But why? Why would he assume anything? It’s not as if he knows how tempted I’d been. Does he?

  I pulled back a bit, wanting to know why he’d jumped to conclusions. “Why did you think something happened between Mack and me?”

  He frowned. “Before your session this morning, I went and saw Tonbo. I just wanted to make sure you’d be alright while I was with Jaxon. I’m not wild about this whole walk-in-Sammy’s-shoes business. Honestly, it makes my skin crawl for some reason. I’d hoped Tonbo would reassure me. Instead, he told me how you actually feel each memory like it’s your own. It got me thinking about who Sammy spent the most time with. Mack. When I asked Tonbo about it, he said there was chance that reliving her time with him would make those dormant feelings real to you.”

  Blake’s face was expectant as he peered back at me. He wanted me to say that nothing could be further from the truth, but I couldn’t.

  “Would’ve been nice if Tonbo had given me that warning before I did today’s session,” I murmured.

  “So the weirdness I detected between you and Mack just now was because you’ve fallen in love with him?”

  I stared at him. “If you were so worried I’d fallen for Mack, why were you insisting he go back home with me now?”

  “Because I wanted you to have time to figure things out, without me there. I don’t want to be the third wheel, Sam. If you’re feelings for me have changed, you can tell me.” “My feelings for you could never change, Blake,” I leaned in and kissed his lips once, hoping to reassure him of this. “I’m in love with you.”

  “But you have feelings for Mack too?” he asked softly.

  I rubbed my forehead, wanting more than anything to simply lie. However, Blake deserved the truth. “Seeing Sammy’s life, her memories, opened parts of me that I don’t understand. It’s like for those few minutes, I’m her. Everything she felt, I’m feeling. I wish I could tell you I didn’t experience feelings today. But I can’t. I don’t want to hide things from you. I saw, or felt, Sammy and Mack’s first kiss. I didn’t even want to be in that memory, but it was like Sammy just kept pushing me to see how much she loved him.”

  I didn’t miss the pain growing in Blake’s expression.

  “And how much she loved me,” I added. “Sammy was convinced that she and I could never truly be happy unless we were one again. That’s why she wanted to change us. Not so that she could be the dominant one and make me disappear, but so we could finally heal. Not broken anymore.”

  I stopped, waiting for Blake to say something. I could tell the Mack subject wasn’t over for him, but he seemed to be considering all of my words.

  “If what you say is true, and Sammy really wanted to heal you both, then why did she tie you up in that cabin?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted.

  “She didn’t have to do it that way. Jocelyn was dating Kory, and Mack told Sammy about him being a dragon too. She could’ve gone to him for help.”

  “I don’t think she trusted Kory.”

  “Well, even still. She and Kate stole the serum. Why play all the charades? Why not just start the injections then? Why did Sammy think she had to terrorize you?” I had no answer.

  Blake hesitated before taking my hands in his. “I hate to be the one to say this, Sam, but I think it’s because she wanted to win. She needed you to be afraid, so she could take over.”

  I didn’t want him to be right. Thinking of Sammy more as my savior brought peace. Made me feel like I could trust myself again. I hated that she could be my own inner demon, living within me, waiting for the perfect time to break free.

  I took a breath, squaring my shoulders. “Well, let’s go find out. Time to talk to Jocelyn.”

  Chapter 25

  My house was quiet. We had no intention of letting anyone else know we’d returned home a day early, so we stayed in camo as we crept through my bedroom window. It was Sunday evening. Everyone should be home. By the smells wafting through the house, dinner had probably just ended. My stomach wasn’t the only one gurgling. I glanced over at Blake’s silhouetted form.

  “Hungry?” I whispered.

  His stomach growled back at me, and I giggled.

  “Dang, that roast smells good. Maybe I can sneak down to the kitchen while you interrogate Jocelyn,” he said quietly, his hand finding mine. “Dig us up some food. Feels like we haven’t eaten for days.”

  “With the weekend we’ve had, I don’t think we’ve stopped long e
nough to eat,” I murmured in agreement. “Let’s go find Joc. If we’re lucky, she’s alone in her room.”

  Blake didn’t answer, just silently turned my bedroom door handle. Ever so slowly, the door cracked open. I knew Blake was peering through the opening to see if the coast was clear. Even with being invisible, it wouldn’t do for my mom to see my bedroom door just fly open on its own.

  “We’re good,” Blake whispered.

  I followed him through my door, shutting it quietly behind us. Jocelyn’s room was at the end of the hall. As we moved past Krista’s room, I was grateful she’d left her door open and her stereo on. Though the music wasn’t loud, it helped mask the sounds of our movements.

  Still, I couldn’t help holding my breath as we inched closer to Jocelyn’s closed door. I glanced over at Blake, and then realized he wouldn’t be able to see me looking at him. I leaned in closer to his ear. “What should we do? Just open the door and slip in?” I asked.

  I felt him shrug. Turning to face me, his lips brushed against my cheek. “Maybe you should go first, in case she’s not dressed or something,” he whispered.

  “Okay,” I agreed. My fingers had just wrapped around the door handle when I felt it turn on its own accord underneath my palm. The door swung inward, taking my arm with it. I gasped, my body falling into my sister’s.

  Jocelyn’s eyes widened, her lips opening. Blake threw his hand over her mouth. Within seconds, he somehow pulled all three of us back into her bedroom. I shut the door behind us and then whirled to see my sister thrashing around, her eyes bulging at the invisible thing holding on to her.