Etta fiddled with her napkin.
“No reciprocation necessary, if you’re not ready.”
“When we were, er, together, I didn’t think, all I could do was feel, and it’s not usually like that for me. Sex with Grady could be…” She trailed off. “He did more than smack me around.”
I’d love to get my hands on the bastard.
Heat rushed through his body, a surge of adrenaline flowing. Gritting his teeth, Justice calmed down, focusing on her instead of his wrath.
“It won’t be that way with me, I promise.” Justice reached across the table and threaded his fingers through hers. “See how we fit together?”
Etta looked doubtful.
“Don’t give me an answer straight away, just think about it for a spell.”
“I will.”
Justice willed her to say “yes.” He wanted to wipe away all her terrible memories and insecurities, show her how wonderful lovemaking could be with a partner who cared for her, adored her.
***
Etta was distracted.
She should be perusing the menu, but she couldn’t even read the damn thing. Every time, she tried to concentrate, she remembered being on that countertop, spread open for him like dessert.
For a minute, she was tempted to tell Justice to forget dinner and take her home, and they could eat afterward. Perversely, Etta wanted to draw this evening out, until she knew what her answer would be.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
But she hadn’t been on a date in so long, and this was so nice. She loved getting dressed up and sharing a meal with a man she liked and respected.
Perhaps more than liked.
Justice had been invading her thoughts lately. No, not invading, she liked thinking about him. Whenever an image of him popped into her head, Etta drifted, basking in a delicious kind of glow.
Okay, concentrate. Figure out something to eat, so you don’t look like an idiot.
According to a couple paragraphs on the back, all the vineyard fruits were utilized in the wine, not just grapes—blueberries, strawberries, peaches, and apples too. The wines had lethal names—Toxin, Venom, and Nightshade, among others.
It made sense. Tennessee Ross, the proprietor, was rumored to be connected with the mafia. How strange her life had become.
Ex-convicts, bikers, and mobsters, oh my! Well, if the trees outside grew hands and started slinging apples at them, she was so out of here, and Etta didn’t even have to click her heels to get home.
“Ma’am, do you know what you want to order? Or do you need a few more minutes?”
Etta glanced up to see the waiter standing with his pad at the ready.
“Oh, sure…” And she ordered the first thing, her gaze landed on. Fortunately, it was a strawberry and poppy seed chicken salad, and she loved those. They had a nice meal—dinner salads and a luscious apple pie for dessert. After she finished eating, Etta wiped her mouth and placed the napkin on the table.
“That was delicious. Thank you for takin’ me here.”
“You’re welcome.”
That’s when she noticed couples on the dance floor. The house band started playing the Tennessee Waltz. She looked at them longingly—men and women whirling around the dance floor, wrapped in each other’s arms. It looked so romantic.
“You wanna take a spin around the joint?”
Etta didn’t even hesitate. She nodded, and he took her hand and led her onto the dance floor.
“I ain’t the most coordinated dancer, but I can manage to stay off your toes.”
Etta grinned. “I’ll hold you to it.”
They swayed in each other’s arms. She relaxed and moved in time to the music. Justice was warm and strong, guiding her easily. Etta couldn’t stop thinking about how this night would end.
Maybe she should stop pushing Justice away. What if someone special doesn’t come along on your timetable? Perhaps it's kismet and these kinds of things can’t be controlled.
As fanciful as it sounded, Etta was beginning to suspect fate had placed Justice at her door that evening.
Maybe this was the beginning of something special.
***
Ten watched from the corner of the room, like some dark shadow.
His attention was unnerving, to say the least. Justice got the feeling he’d peaked the man’s interest which probably wouldn’t end well. Instead of worrying about the future or being stuck in the past, he lived in the moment for once.
She felt so damn right in his arms. Etta smelled of vanilla and the apples they’d just eaten. It was the best he’d felt all day. With her, he could let his guard down, be himself.
Justice wanted to be a better version of himself for her. Maybe it was time to make some changes in his life. She deserved someone who was whole, put together. Somebody who didn’t live in a shitty little trailer. A man who didn’t wake up, ringing with sweat after a nightmare.
Someone she could be proud of, rely on.
“You’re awfully quiet.”
“Hmm?”
“You’re more tight-lipped than usual. What’s goin’ on?”
“I’ve been thinkin’ about what you said. Maybe it’s time to put all of this trauma behind me, and deal with it once and for all.”
Etta grasped his arms. “What a fantastic idea.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded. “Who are ya gonna talk to? I can get you a list of counselors from work.”
“Nah, I’m gonna take Trick up on his offer.”
“Who’s Trick?”
“We were in the Navy together, and he already knows most of the story, so I won’t be starting from square one. He used to be my commanding officer, and now he’s a Catholic priest.”
Even when he’d made a report to his superiors, Justice had kept it clean and clinical. They knew all the facts, but nothing more. He’d kept the details limited, on purpose.
“Are you gonna tell me?” she asked. “Eventually, I mean.”
“Yes, I want you to know everythin’, and I want to know what happened to you, too.”
Etta clutched him tighter. “The thought scares me a bit, but I’d like that.”
“Me too.” Maybe the two of them could heal together. And then who knows where it might lead?
Etta stiffened in his embrace and inhaled sharply.
“Is somethin’ wrong?”
She didn’t answer him. Instead, Etta stared off into the distance, something had captured her attention around his shoulder.
He turned them both around so he could see. A man stood across the room, watching them. His fists were clenched at his sides, and his face was red, while hers had gone pallid.
“Etta, is that your ex?” He could think of no other plausible explanation.
All she could do was nod. Justice didn’t need any more information. He escorted her back to their table and then rolled up his sleeves.
“Wait here for me.”
She nodded but didn’t take her eyes off Grady.
Justice took off across the room and didn’t stop until he stood toe to toe with Grady. The man backed up a step but didn’t walk away.
“You must be Grady.”
He nodded. “And you are…?”
Justice smirked. “None of your goddamn business. Why don’t you do everyone a favor and back off? Etta clearly doesn’t want you around, and neither do I.”
“Hey, it’s a free country.” He shrugged. “And I’m just out for a stroll. I had no idea she’d be here tonight.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Grady had probably followed them here. “You’ve rubbernecked a spell, and now it’s time to be on your way.”
“Nah, the night is early. If you don’t mind, you’re blockin’ the view.”
And I’m one hundred percent done.
“I do mind, and there’s somethin’ else you should know. Consider Etta under my protection. Move on while you can.” Because he’d finish this the Four Horsemen way, which included a cozy grave for one
in the Smoke desert.
“Justice, we should leave.” Justice was so focused on Grady, he hadn’t heard Etta approach.
“That’s his name…? Justice? You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. ” Grady looked him up and down. “This is the guy you’re spreadin’ your legs for?”
Something exploded in Justice. He grabbed Grady by the throat and pinned him against the wall, digging his fingertips in. Justice wanted to choke the life out of him.
Knowing this dickhead had terrorized Etta pushed him past the breaking point. Justice was bigger and stronger than Grady, and he could teach him what if felt like when someone larger hurt him.
Ten strolled over and stood at his elbow. He didn’t seem perturbed by the display, but his voice was low and urgent.
“Much as I’m enjoyin’ the little floor show you’re puttin’ on, this ain’t the time nor the place.” He glanced around the room full of wide-eyed diners. “I suggest you take this outside before you end up with a passel of witnesses at your assault trial.”
“Gladly.” He released the man’s throat, and grasped Grady by the wrist instead, and pulled it behind his back, before marching him out the door.
Etta tried to follow them, but Ten snagged her arm and shook his head.
“Stay with me for a bit, darlin’.”
It’s just as well. Justice didn’t want her to see what was about to happen.
Ten turned to the crowd. “Nothin’ to see here, folks. It’s all part of the show, and…”
Justice didn’t hear the rest as he sailed out the door, and he didn’t care what pretty lie Ten told them.
It’s payback time.
When they got outside, he dragged Grady into the orchard so they wouldn’t be observed, then shoved him, so he lost his balance, tripped and landed on the dirt.
“It’s time you fought somebody who’s closer to your size. What do you think?”
“Whoa, I didn’t come here for a fight.” Grady held up his hands, and then slowly got to his feet.
“Well, you got one anyway.” Justice stepped forward, but Grady backed off. “Are you some kind of coward?”
“I don’t want any part of this.”
“Too late to back off now. Tell you what, I’ll give you the first punch.” Justice put up his dukes.
“You can’t be serious. She ain’t worth it.”
“Like you got any clue how much she’s really worth.” Justice lunged forward, and Grady retreated. “You enjoy slappin’ the ladies around, huh, Grady? Does it make you feel strong? Make you feel like a man?”
“Like I said, I’ve had enough for one night.” He brushed the dirt off his clothing and then lit a cigarette. The smoke curled around his face. “Unless you want to be slapped with an assault charge, you’ll back off.”
“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” Justice clenched his jaw.
He wanted to go a couple rounds with this guy, but Justice had never sucker punched anybody in his life. Grady didn’t enjoy a fair fight though. That’s why he relished beating up women. For all his tough guy bluster, he was a scaredy-cat. Grady would never take somebody head-on.
“Justice, please…” Etta came skidding to a halt beside him. Evidently, she’d gotten away from Ten.
“Why don’t you head back inside, Etta? I got this.”
“Justice, let him leave, please don’t do this.”
He made the mistake of looking at her. She was ringing her hands, and her lower lip trembled.
He caved immediately. Justice never wanted to upset her.
Dammit.
“Fine.” He spared a glance in Grady’s direction. “Get out of here, before I change my mind. And if you come anywhere near Etta again, we’ll finish this, once and for all, and the endin’ will be very different next time.”
“Gladly.” Grady stalked off, and a few seconds later, a truck started up. He screeched out of the driveway.
As he drove past them, Grady flicked his cigarette, and it landed in a pile of brush near them, which abruptly burst into flames.
Justice stomped it out with his boot. “I should’ve put that guy in the hospital.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” She sighed. “Besides, it’s all gonna work out.”
“Think so?”
Justice doubted it—Grady had a screw loose. Most men would’ve backed off immediately, but not Grady. He’d stood his ground, which meant he was determined. Whatever he had in mind for Etta would be awful. Justice could feel it. Once again, his instinct were shouting at him, and he’d be a fool not to listen.
“Yes.” But she didn’t look so sure.
He took her by the shoulders. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. I’m just glad it’s over.”
For now anyway.
“Although, the way you pinned him up against the wall…?”
“Yeah?”
“Priceless! I wish I’d taken a picture.” Her eyes danced with glee.
Justice chuckled, despite himself. “Come on, I’ve had all the fun I can stand for one night. Let’s go.” He wrapped an arm around Etta, and they headed back to his Harley.
Maybe the bike ride would take the edge off of this fury.
Somehow, Justice doubted it.
Chapter Thirteen
“You look tense.”
“I am.”
Fighting always ramped him up, and the anger became more difficult to control, especially when he hadn’t gotten the opportunity to smack Grady down. They stood in her bedroom, and Justice could still feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, making him jittery. He didn’t know what to do with himself.
“We’re gonna do one of those relaxation exercises.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand. “Nope, I ain’t taken no for an answer this time. Lay down and close your eyes.”
“Etta…”
“Do it.” She pointed at the bed.
“Yes, ma’am.” Justice laid down and tried to clear his thoughts. His heart still raced, and his breath came hard and fast.
“This technique works for panic and anger. Basically, anytime you want to control your emotions, it’ll help. It should calm you down.”
It sounded like mumbo-jumbo to him, but he would play along for her sake.
She placed a hand on his chest. “Breathe in and then blow it out your nose, slow and steady.”
He took deep breaths.
“Think of someplace you find relaxin’. Pick a spot where no one would come after you, hurt you.”
Justice thought about it a moment and picked the perfect place.
Right before he’d gone on his last tour in Afghanistan, he’d stayed at a friend’s condo in Corpus Christi. His buddy had a balcony with large sliding glass doors. Justice had visited in the late spring the nights were cool and crisp. He’d slept on the sofa and pushed the doors open so he could hear the rush of waves below. He remembered feeling nothing but peace and contentment.
“Where are you?”
“I’m just off the beach, listenin’ to the tide roll in.”
“I can work with that.”
Etta turned on a sound machine, and he could hear the waves crashing against the shore.
Instantly, he felt better. His breathing slowed, and his heartbeat steadied. Justice went back there, before he’d been tortured, before he’d been scarred. As he imagined himself standing on the sand, she stroked his chest. Being touched by Etta felt right somehow, made him content.
“Excellent. Now, imagine yourself standin’ the surf, and the water is poolin’ around you, up to your ankles. You’re splashin’ around in the cool water, and it’s calmin’ you down.”
He could almost feel the sea soaking into his skin, chilling him out, washing him clean once more.
Justice drifted for a few minutes, lost in the serenity, completely at ease.
Later, she spoke up. “Feel better?”
“Yes, thank you.” His thoughts were clear, his body was rested,
and the fury no longer surged inside him. “You were right. I didn’t think it would work, but it did.”
And he hadn’t used whiskey or weed to get here. The next time he got the urge to smoke a joint, he’d try this instead.
“You’re welcome.”
“I should’ve given in sooner. When you were havin’ nightmares, did it help you, too?”
Etta nodded. “I used to visualize my granddad’s fishin’ pond. We’d go there on Sunday afternoons and sit on the bank together. The memory of it got me through some rough times. With Grady back in the picture, I should try it again.”
“If you’re up to it, I wanna hear more about him and your marriage. I watched the trailer, but it’s time I saw the whole movie.”
Etta winced. “I don’t know…”
“Please?”
After a moment, she nodded. “Give me a few minutes to get my thoughts together.”
***
They’d gotten dressed for bed. He wore his boxer briefs, while she had slipped on a pair of sweatpants, and a T-shirt. It wasn’t particularly sexy, but then again, she wasn’t in the mood. She and Justice wouldn’t be making love tonight.
Grady had a way of ruining everything.
Justice idly flicked through some television shows while he waited for her to speak. Funny how she’d gotten used to having him in her space. If he hadn’t stayed over, she would’ve missed him.
Etta took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”
“Then you have my full attention.” Justice switched off the TV.
She laid back against the pillows and stared straight ahead. It was easier this way when she didn’t have to look him in the eye.
“In the early days, I couldn’t get enough of Grady.” Etta saw him in a different light now, she knew what lurked beneath Grady’s façade. He’d never fool her again.
“Hindsight is a real bitch.”
“Yeah, but I wonder where I’d be, if I hadn’t married him.”
“You wanted to be a psychiatrist, right?”
“Yes, like Dr. Ruth.” Etta dreamt about having famous clients and helping them with their problems. It was a childish fantasy. She’d much rather deal with real people who had serious issues to solve, not spoiled celebrities.
Cold Blood (Lone Star Mobsters Book 4) Page 12