I pushed him out of my way and shook my head. “You’re seriously sick in the head.”
“I get that a lot!”
As he ate his banana and got on my last nerve, I started making a mental list of everything I needed to do before the big dinner. The first thing on my list was to get Ty out of the kitchen, otherwise we would all be having peanut butter and jelly.
I sat down at the table just shaking my head. Ty was busy making fun of me the whole time. I couldn't believe how gullible I had been to believe anything that happened when Ty was always playing jokes on me. In fact, it seemed that he was brushing off on Miranda, causing her to do random pranks whenever she could think of one.
"What are you doing here so early?"
He sighed and shook his head. "Woke up with a big problem."
"Ty, I am seriously not in the mood for any penis jokes this early."
He held his hands up in he air. " As much as I'd like to joke about my dick, that isn't what I came here for. You see, Miranda and I sorta messed around while we were in the woods and we woke up with chiggers all over our legs........and well, it's even on some other important parts." He got all serious while I covered my mouth to control my own laughter. Ty held up his index finger. "Please don't tell Colt. I don't feel like hearing his shit."
A deep voice filled the room. "Don't tell me what?"
"Oh hell!" Ty sat down and put his hands in his face. "This is why I came here and didn't ask your mother for the fingernail polish."
Colt and I laughed. Even I knew that when you went out into the woods you had a chance of getting those little pesky microscopic bugs on your ankles and legs. If you didn't come home and shower right away, the after effects of them biting could be unbearable, to say the least. Obviously, Ty and Miranda were too busy rolling around in the woods yesterday to think about anything like that. I could only imagine where they had them.
Colt had gotten them last year after taking Noah out hunting for squirrel. They killed about five and skinned them before coming in to shower. I forget what else happened, but we ended up having to do something before they could get washed up. The next day the two of them were itching something fierce. Colt was in better shape than our son, who cried as he discovered the tiny little blistered bites all up his legs. The two of them continued to itch themselves until they were raw.
It took five days for the itching to completely go away and I don't think either of them had ever gone out into those woods without getting a shower immediately when they came inside. The fact that Ty had them that bad, was just funny to me, where I think my husband had a bit more compassion.
"Did ya'll shower yet?" Colt still couldn't contain the grin from showing on his face.
"Yeah, we showered last night. I swore it was too cold for them to be out, but damn if I wasn't wrong."
It was obvious that he had come for the clear fingernail polish. For some reason the old wives tale did seem to stop the spreading and some of the itching.
"Dude, I woke up and the shit was all over my balls." Ty started itching his crotch, just as my mother came walking in with Christian in her arms.
She refused to make eye contact with any of us as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle. When I approached her, she shook her head, but said not one single word. I grabbed the bottle of pumped breast milk out of her hand and put it in the warmer. Christian reached her hands out for her Uncle Ty and I could tell it aggravated my mom. She was a little smothering when she visited her grandchildren and hated to share her time with other adults. Ty leaned over and kissed his niece, before he and Colt walked out of the room.
As soon as they were gone, my mother began whispering. " What was that about? I don't think it is appropriate for you to be talking about Tyler's body parts like you four do."
"Mom, it's not like that at all. Ty and Miranda got chiggers out in the woods yesterday. He came over to get some fingernail polish to stop the spread of them. We don't talk about our body parts and even if we did, it would only be a joke. We're friends and family. I know you think our relationships are weird, but we all love each other."
When the bottle warmer chimed that it was ready, my mother grabbed the bottle and started feeding Christian. I was surprised she hadn't screamed for her bottle while she waited like she normally did.
"I know you all have a special connection to each other. I guess it is just hard for me to understand it from the outside. You and Tyler have such a history. It amazes me that you can joke around and not ever be offended. I guess it's the fact that you're family."
"Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I love them very much and I couldn't imagine my life without them."
Since I hadn't had any coffee and already had two serious conversations, I decided to go get the polish so at least Ty could get back to the main house. At any second Noah and Bella would be barging through the door demanding to do something they shouldn't be asking to do. I looked over at the coffee pot before heading up to my bathroom to find the fingernail polish.
Now, my nails were naturally long and everyone knew that I had them professionally done, so clearly it would have made sense for me to keep clear fingernail polish in the house. The truth was that I had over a dozen bottles of clear, but when I thought about Ty and where he said he had them, I grabbed the bright pink and headed downstairs.
He gave me a dirty look as I handed him the pink colored bottle. "What the hell is this?"
I shrugged my shoulders. " It's all I have. I'm sure your balls don't care what color the polish is."
"Bullshit. They are complaining already."
I scrunched up my nose. "If you itch that bad, you will take what you can get. Now, if you don't mind, I'm making my husband and I some coffee. I'll see you a little later, well, after you've polished up your balls."
"You're evil woman! I'm taking a picture to show you how I decorate them."
Thankfully, Ty walked out of the house before he could provide me with more visuals than I would ever want to imagine.
Colt came in and reached his arms around me. "Thank you for this morning, Darlin."
I twisted my body around and wrapped my arms around his neck. " You never have to thank me for that. I love being with you."
A loud noise at the kitchen door got our attention. Noah and Bella were racing for the door and had knocked over the entire turkey fryer full of grease. Colt ran out in bare feet to try to control the mess, while I checked on the kids. "Are you both okay?"
"Please don't be mad, Mom. Me and Bells were racin'. We didn't mean to knock it over."
Colt looked seriously pissed, but I turned my body away from him and faced the children. "You need to be more careful, but I'm not mad at you. I didn't want to fry the turkeys anyway. Just don't tell Dad." I winked at both of them and they smiled back at me. "Did you already have breakfast?"
They had already started walking in the house. "Yeah, Lucy made us pancakes. Grandma said that her and Grandpop will take us out for a ride in the woods after breakfast."
I grabbed my hyper son by the back of his shirt. "Noah, I don't even think that Grandpop is awake and Grandma is feeding your sister."
I saw him turn to Bella. "Now what are we going to do?"
"Let's build a fort in your room." Bella was swinging her body as she talked. She was such a happy little girl.
The two of them ran up the stairs on a mission.
A little while later, I went upstairs to check on them because it was way too quiet for the two of them. When I walked into Noah's room, all I could see was blankets and sheets. His mattress was the only thing left on his bed. I thought that maybe they heard me coming and were hiding, but after pulling most of the blankets down from where they were positioned I realized they were not in the room.
As I started to head to the playroom, I heard a loud thump that sounded like it was coming from the roof. I bolted back into Noah's room and pushed open his window. Before I could call their names, I was attacked by something white, h
itting me in the face. When I used my hands to clear my vision, I noticed that it was feathers and more were falling.
"Keep doing it, it's workin'." I heard my son announce.
"My pillow doesn't have any left." Bella's little voice sounded like it was right above the dormer.
I turned my body and looked up to see the two of them sitting on the roof like it was no big deal, while shaking the feathers out of their pillows. "Noah Mitchell, get your tail in this window this minute!" I held my arms out as two sad little kids came sliding down the roof to the window. "What were you thinking. You already have a cast; you could have broken your neck!"
Colt rushed into the room. "What's goin' on?"
"I just caught these two playing on the roof."
Colt started heading toward Noah and I knew he wanted to punish him good. Bella started crying and threw herself in between them. "Please don't beat us Uncle Colt. We were just trying to make it snow."
Colt looked back at me and held his hands up in the air. I knelt down in front of the kids. "If either of you would have fallen off that roof you would have been killed. This will never happen again! Do you both understand me?"
They put their little heads down and nodded them.
"Get your tails downstairs. Your butts are not to go anywhere unless you ask me first, got it?" Colt meant business and Noah knew it.
He and Bella started following Colt down the stairs as I followed behind them. "Sorry Mom."
I put my hands on his shoulders. "Please don't ever do something like that again. I don't know what I would do if something happened to the two of you. Now unless you want to not see each other very often, you need to start making better decisions when you are together. You are both old enough to have known not to go out that window."
"Told you Noah!" Bella pushed him.
She didn't have to say that for me to know it was all his idea. He had gotten the idea from some Disney channel show he watched last week. When we watched it, I'd even considered reminding him that it was a horrible idea, but I'd made the mistake thinking my son knew better, obviously he was a Mitchell and they made their own rules up as they went.
I walked into the kitchen and saw it was only ten in the morning and I started to think that maybe having Thanksgiving dinner was a bad idea.
What else could possibly go wrong?
Chapter 6
Colt
After knocking over the damn turkey fryer and then climbing out his window and playing on the roof, my son was definitely on my bad side. It never failed, when he and Bella got together there was bound to be some kind of drama, or injury. I don't think they even realized the severity of what they had done. In both circumstances they could have seriously been hurt or even killed. Suppose that fryer had been on, or if one of them fell off the roof.
Thankfully, Ty and Miranda took the news the same as I did. They took Bella into one of the rooms upstairs and really let her have it. I knew they were just as afraid as I was. Bella came down the stairs in tears, still sobbing loudly, like she had been spanked and I knew more than anyone that Ty could never do that to his daughter.
Between my mother and my Aunt Karen, the twins were being lugged around like baby dolls. Savanna’s mother was no better. Since she'd arrived, I hadn't got to spend any time with my baby girl. My father-in-law loved hanging out with Noah and since he and Bella were always a package deal, he was used to appeasing the two of them. Because going with him would keep them safer than if they were alone, I decided to let them off of their restriction for a little while.
Savanna and Miranda were in the kitchen trying to get the two turkeys ready. Since the store was too far away and all of the oil was now laying in the backyard, we had to take one of the turkeys to my mother’s to cook. Lucy was already on standby waiting for one of us guys to deliver it to her. Last year, Savanna had discovered those oven bags that you cook with. I was skeptical, but it produced the most moist turkey, aside from the fryer, and cooked in half the normal baking time.
Once the two women got the first turkey in a bag, Ty and Conner took it over to the main house. Savanna got the remaining turkey in the oven and rubbed her hands together. I patted my wife on the ass. "Looks like the most important part of the meal is taken care of."
"Yep, and half the side dishes just need to be heated. I'd say we were off to a good start."
I looked out into the living room and laughed. "As long as nothing else goes wrong."
I knew that my wife was on one of her missions to get everything done in time for dinner, so I leaned over and kissed her before heading back to the living room.
Once the football games started, the men congregated in front of the television, while the women hung out in the kitchen. Of course, my mother's kitchen was a whole lot bigger than ours. I think since my mother still wanted to be the host, she and my aunt were staying at the other house to prepare more food, to help Savanna without getting on her nerves. It wasn't like my wife was going to turn down the help. She knew she was getting in over her head with our family.
The guys started filling the room when it got closer to kickoff and I could smell Savanna's jalapeño poppers cooking in the oven. Leave it to my wife to think of football snacks when she was running around in crazy mode already. Miranda was there to help her, so Ty and I were on baby duty.
My father-in-law had just gotten back and the kids were all rallied up about what they had discovered on the nature adventure. Savanna's dad rolled his eyes as the children went into vivid detail about their travels. I particularly liked hearing the part where my son said he saw where a buck had scraped a tree and noted where I could find it. Even though I was still upset with him from earlier, I was more than pleased that my son loved to hunt. I couldn't help but smile and pull him in for a hug.
Once the game got started, us men couldn't help but get rowdy. Just as an eighty yard punt return was in the making, Miranda came in with a giant tray of piping hot snacks. My father-in-law went to stand up and throw his arms in the air over a flag not being called and instead smacked the tray of hot food, causing it to fly up into the air and attack everyone as it fell and made contact with everything and everyone in the room.
Miranda scrambled to pick up the mess as Bella began screaming that a hot pepper filled with cream cheese was on her. Instead of shaking it off her arm, she began screaming and holding it out for everyone to see. Ty, who was already holding one of his sons, scooted down and managed to remove the burning hot food. He maneuvered his son in one arm, while sticking his daughter's arm in his mouth to sooth the burn. Real tears were pouring out of her eyes and while I felt horrible for her, someone else caught my attention.
Savanna's father was standing a few feet away from me. His head was covered in cream cheese filled peppers and other items that had been on the tray. He was trying his best to remove everything without making a huge mess, but it was utterly impossible to do. Miranda started grabbing the peppers off of his burnt head and apologizing.
I started laughing even after I got dirty looks for it. It was just so comical.
My poor wife walked into the room seconds later with her hand over her mouth and a baby on her hip. "Oh my God! What happened?"
I calmed down. "Don't go worryin' your pretty little head over it. We will get it all cleaned up and it will be fine."
She approached her father. "Dad, are you okay?" Her eyes were huge as she assessed the damage for herself.
"Yeah, I will be fine. The worst case scenario is that I bald prematurely." He threw her a wink as she tried to help all of us get the mass of the mess cleaned up.
The second round of snacks were colder and easier to clean up if they got tossed around. Conner and John came in with a bowl full of cheese dip and chips and you would have thought that none of us had eaten for a week.
Ty's boys were down for a nap and Christian was being occupied by her Grandpop. Noah came walking over asking if he and Bella could play alone in the playroom. When Savanna heard him asking
, she went running into the office and brought out some feathers and construction paper. "Why don't the two of you make turkeys and decorate them with feathers."
Noah and Bella took the supplies and went running up to the playroom. Savanna blew me a kiss before heading back into the kitchen.
I'd no sooner started to relax when I heard my wife yelling at someone. To make sure I didn't get on her shit list, I went into the kitchen to see what the ruckus was about. Ty was standing over a bowl with his hands inside of it. Savanna stood on the other side of him, trying to push him out of the way. "What on earth are you doing?"
"Ty thinks he is helping by making some kind of perverted stuffing."
"There is nothing perverted about my balls." He kept massaging the stuffing mixture in the bowl, and I say massaging because of the way he was doing it.
"Seriously, man, you know this is her thing." I leaned over his shoulder and took a look at what he was mixing up. "It actually smells good though."
"It's the big fat sausage I put in it. It gives it the best flavor. There's nothing like a good piece of meat." Ty looked at Savanna and started laughing at his own comment.
"God, you are one sick puppy. I hope you know that I refuse to eat that." Savanna started getting out another bowl. "I will make another batch that will be edible."
"I'll have you know that my balls are the best you will ever taste." He was on her last nerve and not backing down.
"Do what you want with your balls, just stay out of my way and don't touch this new batch of stuffing. Don't you have a game to watch?"
"This is more fun than that game, besides, I wanted some Van time." He leaned into her shoulder and batted his eyes.
I couldn't stop laughing, even though I knew she was getting more mad at me than him. She always said when I laughed at him, it made him do the things worse. I picked at a piece of bread and started walking out of the kitchen. "Have fun you two."
"Oh, thanks, just leave me alone with this nitwit."
The guys were getting rowdy over the game when I sat down with them. They were fussing over a bad call and yelling at the refs. My uncle came walking in the door in full camo. I'd originally thought he was at the main house with the older crew, but after seeing his attire, I knew he had been out in the woods scoping things out for the big opening day of hunting. He came in and took off his boots before sitting down next to Conner and grabbed a beer out of the cooler that John had brought in. It was funny how the sheriff had offered to supply us with the alcohol for the day. He’d been around long enough to know that alcohol and my family usually meant for late night brawls on the front lawn.
Wrapping Up (Novella) Mitchell Family 4.5 (Wrapping Up Novella 4.5) Page 4