by Josie Kerr
When Mick’s breathing deepened with slumber, Em whispered in response, “‘I’ve already fallen, Mick.”
Chapter 37
“Maybe we should have told Mick what we were up to,” Em said as she sipped on a rapidly cooling cup of coffee. “I feel bad for fibbing to him all this time.”
Em had quickly figured out that she was searching for Mick’s brother after Rory had given her the dossier. When she asked Rory for confirmation, he admitted that, yes, she was indeed searching for the long-missing brother, but declined to tell her the whole story. Of course, she had recently discovered that for herself.
Now, Em found herself sitting outside the small gym in the one of the square states in the middle of the country, talking with Rory to bolster her courage enough to enter the building.
“You’re at the gym now, Em? Have you seen him?” Rory sounded as nervous as she felt.
“No, I haven’t, but I haven’t gotten up my nerve to go in yet. This gym looks very...gym-y. Much more so than the others. And besides, they’re not really open yet.”
Rory barked a laugh. “You’ll do fine. You really think that this guy’s Colin?”
Em exhaled with a huff. She didn’t know. What were the chances that the fighter she’d met back in the summer was actually Mick’s long-lost younger brother?
She had seen grainy YouTube videos of fights, but she needed to see this man in person again and talk to him to be sure he was indeed Mick’s brother. Twice before she’d been sure that she had found him, but both had been false alarms.
Em shifted in the seat of her rental car. She could never be a private investigator; the waiting around was making her crazy. She saw a man approach the door of the gym and unlock it. He opened the blinds and turned the lights on.
“It’s show time, Rory. I think he just opened the gym. The guy moves just like Mick, but he’s a hell of a lot bigger, like a lot bigger. Huge, even.”
“Okay, good luck, Em. I knew you were the best. Go see this guy.”
Em signed off and got out of the car. Her back was stiff from driving and stress. She stretched and took big gulps of the brisk air. Holy shit, it’s cold. Em shivered in her lightweight jacket and hurried into the gym.
She was immediately accosted by the smell of man and sweat, and she noted in the back of her mind that the strong odor didn’t really bother her. She looked at the photos on the wall, pictures of the fighters in various aggressive stances.
She found a poster of her man on the Wall of Champions. The name on it proclaimed the man to be Bren “Ice Cold” Carmichael, but looking at it, it just had to be Colin. This was a hairless version of Mick. The nose was different, but the similar jaw and those silvery blue eyes were what convinced her that she may have actually found Mick’s brother.
“Can I help you, miss?” a voice with an eerily familiar timbre asked. She heard a chuckle. “You look a little lost.”
Em turned around to face the voice, or rather, the voice’s chest.
“Holy shit, you’re big,” she blurted into the big man’s torso. “Like, huge.”
The large man chuckled. “Yep, I am. We’re all pretty big around here, though. Are you looking for someone in particular?”
Em looked at the man’s face and gasped. The fighter she’d met almost five months ago was clean shaven with a burr haircut and a shaved chest. The man in front of her had a stocking cap on, but she could see hair sticking out of the cap around his ears. A beard covered his handsome face as well, and she could see a pelt of chest hair under his open hoodie jacket.
He looked just like a chestnut-haired Mick.
“Lady, you’re kind of freaking me out. Are you okay?” Mick’s eyes peered from the man’s face, his brows drawn down in a frown, just like Mick’s did when he was concerned.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m all right. Hi,” Em chuckled nervously. “I’m looking for this guy,” she said as she pointed at the picture of Brennan Carmichael.
Jesus, this woman is completely nuts, the man thought. Why do I encounter all the crazy women?
“Why do you want to know who this guy is?” he jerked his chin at the picture. “He something to you?”
Em licked her lips. “Maybe. The man I’m looking for, I’ve been looking for him for a few months, but others have been looking for him for years. I think Brennan Carmichael might be him, but his name is different from the man I’m looking for. He would be about 35 years old. His name is, or was, Colin Brennan.” Good grief, Em. If the man didn’t think you were crazy earlier, he sure does now. Quit the babbling.
The man didn’t seem to be able to catch his breath. He sat down heavily on a nearby bench. “Colin Brennan.”
He hadn’t been Colin Brennan for a long, long time, not since his father had rescued him from his mother. Could this little woman be a relative of some sort?
“You’re Colin, aren’t you?” Em sat beside him and looked hopefully at the huge man. “You were born in Boston? Your mother’s name was Moira? You have a brother named Michael?”
“Mickey? You know where he is? He’s alive?”
“Oh thank God, I’ve found you.” Em threw her arms around a startled Colin. “Oh God, I finally found you.”
“Carmichael, you got another crazy bothering you?” barked another big man, whom Em recognized from the meet and greet in Las Vegas. “You need me to call the police again?”
“No, Junior, this one’s not nuts. Or she may be, but she’s found my brother.”
“No shit?”
“No shit.”
*****
Em and Colin Brennan Carmichael sat across from each other in a diner the fighters frequented. Colin held a Saint Rita medallion in his fingers, stroking the small pendant while he spoke.
“See this? Mickey put this and a Jerusalem cross around my neck the last time I saw him, before Ma took me away. For years, I waited for him to come to get me. Years. Even after Duke managed to get me away from her, I hoped Mickey would come and live with us. I know Duke looked for him, looked for fucking years.”
Em sat silently, tears burning in her eyes, waiting for Colin to continue.
“He stopped by the school and handed this to me through the fence. And then he just disappeared. Poof. No nothing. No letters, no phone calls. I thought he just left me. I didn’t know until years later that our lovely mother had basically shipped him off and never looked back.” At Em’s inquisitive look, Colin explained that Duke, his father, was an attorney and had managed to get a copy of the court records that had sent Mick to kiddie prison.
Every time I think that woman can’t get worse, she does, Em thought.
“The woman was never meant to be a mother,” Colin spat. “Yes, I know she’s dead. I didn’t go to her funeral, but I’ve been back to confirm that she’s dead in the ground.” Colin’s jaw worked, clenching and relaxing almost imperceptibly, his eyes hot with emotion.
Em started. She didn’t think Mick knew for sure that his mother was dead.
“It seems she did the right thing by giving you up. I’m not sure she went about it the right way, but it just might have been for the best. I wish she could have kept all the boys together.”
“Wait, back up. ‘All the boys’? There are more?”
“You didn’t know there were two older brothers? Older than Mick? Finn and Sean?”
“Fuck no, I didn’t know. Where are they now?”
Em’s eyes softened. “They’re dead, Colin. Killed in a fishing accident.”
Colin vaguely remembered two rough men coming to the house every few months. After each visit, there’d been food for a while. Cod. God, he still couldn’t see or smell cod without puking.
Colin sat in the booth, hands clasped in front of him, and started laughing. It started as a chuckle, then grew into a guffaw, and continued to grow until he had tears running down his face.
Em chuckled nervously. “Um, are you all right, Colin?”
“No, no, I’m not fucking all right. You come to my gym a
nd tell me that not only have you found the brother I’ve been looking for my entire fucking life, but that there were two more that I didn’t know? No, I am not all right at all. I’m not angry at you, Em. I’m angry at Moira, but I can’t tell her because she’s dead.” Colin was breathing hard, his hands fisted on the table. “This is just...really overwhelming, totally and completely overwhelming.”
Colin wiped his hands over his face, pressing his fingers into his eyes as if doing so would help him see more clearly.
“So why now? Why is he looking now? Does he need money?” he asked.
“What? No, he doesn’t need money. Mick’s very successful. Why would you think he was approaching you because he needed money?” Em was offended for Mick.
“I’ve got a championship fight coming up. Pay-per-view, earning big money the moment I step in the ring and an even bigger payout when I win.” Colin shrugged. “I’m just saying the timing is a little suspect.”
“Look, Mick doesn’t even know I’ve found you. He doesn’t even know I was really looking for you. He thinks I’m up here scoping out potential business. He had absolutely no hope of finding you. He said that Rory has been searching for you for 20 years. Twenty years, Colin.”
“So how’d you find me, if someone else has been searching for so long?”
“I’m a better snoop than Rory is,” she said with a laugh.
“Wait, Rory? Red-headed? Bad temper?”
“You remember him?” Em was surprised. “I didn’t know how much you remembered about the Doyles.”
“I remember lots of pieces of things, but I was never sure if they were dreams or memories. I remember being really sick and Rory’s mom feeding me soup and putting a cool cloth on my head. I remember me and Rory and Mickey reading books in a giant bed, and them putting on the voices. I remember a girl, too. Rory’s sister. I remember the way Mickey would look at her; just staring like she was the most fascinating, beautiful thing in the world.”
“He married her.”
“Huh. But they’re not married anymore?”
“Mick can tell you all about it. It’s not my story to tell,” Em said.
“So where is he, if you’re here and he doesn’t know you’ve been looking for me?”
“He’s back in Atlanta. I didn’t want to get his hopes up.”
“Atlanta? How the hell did he end up there? And just who are you to him? Just someone he hired?”
“Again, Mick needs to tell you his story, but I can tell you who I am: I’m someone who loves him,” Em said, surprising herself with the admission.
Colin grinned at the myriad of emotions that played across Em’s features. “Ah. You just now admitting something to yourself?” he smirked.
Em chuckled. “Yes, that’s the first time I’ve really said that out loud. I do love him, though. I love him a lot. But this whole enterprise started with Rory. Rory started me looking in my spare time months ago.”
“You work with Rory?”
“Yeah, I work with Rory. He actually introduced me to Mick.” She waited a beat. “Would you want to meet with him? Sometime?”
“Only if he’ll meet with Duke, too. Duke may need to see him more than I do.”
“I’ll need to talk with Mick. Remember, he doesn’t know I’ve located you yet.”
“Yeah, okay.”
They sat in the booth in silence for a while, both processing things. Colin had to get back to the gym, but he hugged her fiercely before they parted ways.
Em sat in the parking lot and made a call. “Yes, it’s him. He’s open to getting together. There’s something else though.”
Chapter 38
Bailey chewed her lip as she tried every number she had for Rory.
“Come on, Rory; pick up pick up pick up. You’ve gotta pick up,” she prayed. When she couldn’t get him on any of them, she called Em. Em’s phone went to voicemail, too.
“Fuck!” Bailey yelled in frustration, surprising herself. She hardly ever cursed. Rory and Em were rubbing off on her.
As a last resort, she called Ashley. The phone rang once, twice, three times. Just when Bailey was about to hang up, Ashley answered the phone. She seemed breathless.
“Hey, Bailey. Is everything okay at the duplex?” Ashley asked.
Bailey immediately started babbling. “Tripp came to the office and was screaming about Em ruining his life and about how it was all her fault that he was in trouble with Ed and he was really, really, really angry and stupid Billy from Accounting gave him her home address and I think he might really hurt her and I don’t know what to do!”
“Ashley, is Tripp going to Em’s? Do you know for sure?” Bailey could hear Ashley talking to someone in the background. They seemed to be arguing about something.
“Just give me the damn phone,” Bailey heard Rory say. “Bailey, tell me exactly what Tripp said.” Bailey repeated her story.
“Okay, Bailey, wherever you are, lock the door and don’t let anyone in except for me or the police.”
“I’m at the office, Rory. I’ve already locked it up and closed all the blinds. I’m in the break room right now.”
“Okay, Bailey, good. I want you to call the police and report a domestic disturbance at Em’s place. I’m headed over there. Hopefully Tripp’s not done anything too stupid. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything, Bailey. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the phone sooner.”
“Rory Doyle, you’re absolutely not going over to Em’s house. Are you nuts?” Ashley shrieked when he got off the phone.
“Bailey’s calling the cops, and I want you to call your brothers, Ashley. Pull in any favors they owe you. I have a really bad feeling about this.”
Ashley balked but picked up her phone and began to dial, saying “Rory, don’t go over there. Let the cops do their job. My brothers will get them moving faster.”
Rory kissed Ashley on the mouth. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to Em. I should’ve reported Tripp’s behavior a long time ago and I didn’t. I can take care of myself, okay? Some prissy lawyer isn’t going to get one over on Rory Doyle, I can guarantee that.” He kissed her again.
“Rory, don’t do anything that will get you sent to prison, because I am absolutely not having sex in a trailer!”
Rory gave Ashley another kiss. “I’ll be careful.”
Ashley was already dialing her brother’s private cell phone number before Rory made it out the door.
“Hey Johnny, this is Ash. I’m calling in that favor now.”
*****
Em hadn’t told Mick about finding Colin yet; she didn’t feel like it was something she could do over the telephone. She had been pretending for the past week that she was in Wisconsin (not a lie) on a research trip (also technically not a lie) and keeping her usual routine of phone calls and texts with Mick.
She had texted him when she got off the plane and he had said he’d be home in the early evening from a meeting with yet another rapper building a home studio. She was impatiently waiting for him to text her at the moment.
Em had an emotional hangover from the meeting with Colin. She couldn’t wait to get in the tub with a glass of Scotch and relax. Maybe she would attempt to take a nap after the bath.
She walked up the stairs to her apartment, lost in thought, until she spied her front door ajar and heard the sound of breaking glass. Em ran up the last few stairs and pushed the door open the rest of the way, only to find Tripp in her home, taking each piece of her beloved glass collection and smashing it on the hardwood floor. He must have been at it for a while because only three pieces of glass remained on the once-full shelves.
“What the fuck are you doing, Tripp?”
Tripp looked at her. Something about his cool appraisal made her skin crawl. Em stayed by the door, hand on the knob. She licked her lips and said, as steadily as she could manage, “You need to leave. If you get out, I won’t call the police and we’ll forget about everything. Okay?”
“No, it
’s not okay, you stupid bitch.”
His cold tone sent off every alarm in her psyche. She turned to run out the door, but Tripp moved too quickly and caught her by the arm, gripping and yanking on it painfully.
He got in her personal space and hissed through clenched teeth, “You got me reprimanded. Dad demoted me. He said he couldn’t trust me to be professional. Professional! I was just trying to save your reputation. You can’t work with criminals and keep your credentials in this business.”
Em realized that Tripp had totally lost touch with reality. She tried another approach.
“Tripp, honey, let’s get some dinner and then we’ll go talk to your daddy and get this all sorted out, okay?” She used her most soothing tones.
Tripp seemed to calm down and he let go of her arm. He took a deep breath before smiling coldly at her.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Dad always liked you. Everybody always liked you, even Bailey. And now, she’s gone to work with Rory, but you knew that because you’re the reason she left me in the first place!” he screamed in Em’s face. “You’re the reason I’m in this mess!”
Em got angry. No, she got downright furious.
“No, Tripp. You listen to me. You’re the reason Bailey left you, only you. You’re the reason you’re in whatever mess you’ve gotten yourself involved in. YOU can’t handle the work. YOU treat people like shit. YOU have affairs. YOU don’t take responsibility for your actions. You, and only you. I tried to help you, but you just took and took and took, everything except responsibility. You. Are. Broken. I’m so glad you dumped me in front of everybody at that Christmas party. Who I’m sorry for is Bailey. I’m sorry that Bailey got entangled with your stupid ass and that she’s going to have to put up with you for the rest of her life because you’re the father of her child. I was sure you’d check out on her as soon as the baby was born, but you did what I’d hoped like hell you wouldn’t do and checked out as soon as she got pregnant.