Lily looked at him enquiringly, adding nothing, just waiting silently for him to speak again.
‘The thought of coming back to Castonbury,’ Giles continued forcefully, ‘of being here, where I knew I would feel Jamie and Edward’s loss more deeply than anywhere else, was unbearable to me! Of course, I had not realised quite how my father’s health had deteriorated, else I should have been here sooner, my own feelings of loss be damned!’ He looked grim.
And this, Lily acknowledged achingly, was the same man for whom she had harboured such anger and resentment this past year.
Even more so in the almost eleven months since Edward had been struck down at Waterloo.
Giles was a man Lily could now see she had judged as harshly as he had judged her, in that she had chosen to see only what she had perceived to be Giles’s cold and arrogant nature, rather than attempting to see him as he truly was: a man who felt emotions so strongly, and so deeply, that he must hide them beneath a veneer of cold arrogance lest he be thought weak or vulnerable.
Lily now believed he had deliberately chosen to share his vulnerability with her today, as a way of atoning, apologising, for his previous behaviour to her.
And in doing so he allowed Lily at last to see that Giles was indeed a man who had more than deserved Edward’s hero-worship. That if he bore any responsibility at all for Edward’s premature death, then it was only in having been the man that he was, a man of strength and loyalty whom Edward had wished to emulate.
The anger and resentment Lily had felt towards Giles for so long melted like the winter snow in the warmth of spring, as she knew she looked up into the face of a man who was still tormented by the death of both his brothers, as well as the men who had served with and under him. Giles had now confided that torment to her in a way she doubted he had ever done with anyone else, and in doing so allowed her to see that he was not a man lacking in emotions at all.
Her face was full of compassion as she reached up to gently curve her hand about one of Giles’s rigidly tensed cheeks—
‘Do not, Lily!’ he bit out harshly, every part of him having tensed, his eyes a glittering silver as he looked down at her.
She stilled with her fingers against that tensed cheek. ‘Why should I not?’
A nerve pulsed in Giles’s rigidly clenched jaw. ‘I am not in full control of— You should know that our conversation has left me with few defences. I have nothing left with which to resist taking you in my arms and kissing you, as I so long to do!’ He looked down at her hungrily as he fought that inner battle.
A battle which Lily’s beauty would surely ensure he was destined to lose?
That nerve once again pulsed in the rigidity of his jaw. ‘Lily—’
‘Giles?’
His breath caught in his throat as he saw the tears glistening in those beautiful green eyes. Were those tears for him? ‘I did not tell you any of those things with the intention of arousing your pity—’ He broke off as she laughed softly.
She gave a gentle shake of her head. ‘Giles, you are not a man for whom I or anyone else could ever feel pity,’ she assured huskily.
Giles continued to look down at her searchingly but found none of the mockery in her expression that he might have expected from her words. ‘It is a fact that during times of war women would…allow soldiers to make love to them, for the simple reason they believed it might be their last such memory.’
She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. ‘And did you personally…accept many of those offers?’
His mouth tightened as he answered her honestly. ‘Too many for me now to recall any of their faces!’
Lily drew her breath in sharply at the bluntness of Giles’s reply, even as she knew with certainty that it had been his intention to shock her, perhaps to disgust her, in an effort, no doubt, to regain the shield over his emotions which he had lost during those minutes of baring his soul to her.
But Lily knew she was no longer capable of feeling shock and disgust where Giles was concerned.
She again ran the tip of her tongue over her full lips. ‘You underestimate your…attraction, Giles, if you believe that to have been the only motivation for those women to have invited you into their beds.’
His throat moved as he swallowed before answering her harshly. ‘We are venturing onto dangerous ground, Lily.’
Lily had known the moment she opened the door to Giles this morning that she should not be alone with him today, that to do so, after her longings of the night before—when just to hear the low rumble of his voice, as he talked with her father in the room beneath her bedchamber, had been enough to arouse her—would be to flirt with danger. An irresistible danger, which Lily knew had only intensified as Giles talked of his despair and determination on the day Genghis had been so mortally injured.
She looked up at him quizzically. ‘Is it so very dangerous?’
‘Very.’ Giles was totally aware of the light caress of Lily’s fingers still resting against his cheek, of her soft floral perfume, of the swell of her breasts above the neckline of her gown, of the temptation of her red and delectable lips!
‘And if I were to tell you that I am not afraid?’ she prompted huskily.
His mouth thinned. ‘Then I would advise you to think again!’
She shook her head in gentle reproof. ‘You may try all you wish, Giles, but I can no longer be fooled by your air of coldness or arrogance.’
‘But I am cold and arrogant—’
‘Yes, you are,’ she conceded softly. ‘But you are also the man who obviously loves his family deeply. The same man who refused to allow the fearsome Genghis to die.’
He gave a pained frown. ‘I am also the man who might insult you again with his very next breath,’ he reminded harshly.
‘And if that occurs, I shall think of our conversation just now, and refuse to take insult at anything you have said to me.’
Giles drew in a harsh breath as Lily gazed up at him with those clear and trusting green eyes, knowing that, for the moment at least, he had no defences with which to resist her. ‘You are a very stubborn young woman—’ He broke off as she laughed huskily.
‘I believe us to be as stubborn as each other,’ she explained ruefully.
He grimaced. ‘Perhaps.’
‘There is no “perhaps” about it.’ She chuckled as she shook her head. ‘If not for that stubbornness, that set opinion of each other that we refused to let go, we might have become friends much earlier than this.’
Friends? Giles pondered. Did Lily really consider them to have now become friends? In the same way that she and Edward had been friends? ‘I already have two sisters, Lily,’ he bit out harshly. ‘I have no need of another.’
She breathed softly. ‘My regard for you is not in the least sisterly!’
Giles looked searchingly into those clear and candid green eyes, knowing himself to be without armour to resist their unwavering glow. ‘I am not a man deserving of your admiration, Lily,’ he rasped harshly.
‘Nevertheless, you have it.’
He gave an impatient shake of his head. ‘And have you considered that perhaps that was my intention all along? That I may have told you these things merely as a way of persuading you into thinking more kindly of me?’
She regarded him quizzically for several long moments. ‘Do you wish me to think more kindly of you?’
‘What I wish is for you to remove your bonnet and release your hair!’
Those green eyes widened at the vehemence of his tone. ‘Release my hair?’
He nodded abruptly. ‘I have imagined—’ He shook his head, knowing he could not tell Lily the amount of times he had lain on his bed aroused and throbbing, imagining the fingers about him were hers, and the silkiness of her hair was draped across the nakedness of his chest and thighs! ‘I have long wondered as to its length and thickness,’ he rasped throatily.
She continued to look up at him for several long seconds before raising her gloved hands to untie he
r bonnet, removing it completely to allow it to fall to the grassy riverbank at their feet before peeling her gloves down her arms and allowing them, too, to flutter to the ground next to her bonnet. Her slender, bare hands now moved up to seek out the pins holding her dark curls in place.
‘Good heavens…!’ Giles’s breath caught in his throat as Lily at last shook her head and allowed her curls to fall about her shoulders and down her back, a glossy, ebony tumble so long and thick as it fell all the way down to the gentle curve of her bottom. ‘Lily…!’ He reached up to touch those curls wonderingly before allowing their silky softness to fall and cascade through his fingers. ‘I have never seen anything so beautiful.’
Her cheeks were flushed. ‘My mother always said it would be sacrilege to cut it.’
Giles could not stop touching the ebony softness. ‘Mrs Seagrove was a very wise woman.’
Lily laughed softly. ‘It takes hours to dry when it is washed.’
Giles’s breath caught in his throat as an image of a naked Lily instantly filled his head, her hair a wet and silky curtain over that nakedness, her breasts full and pert, the rosy nipples peeping out temptingly through those dark curls. ‘You must never cut it, Lily.’ His fingers became entangled in the rich darkness as he pulled her unerringly towards him.
Lily could barely breathe, let alone speak, her proximity to Giles now such that she could feel the soft warmth of his breath against her cheek, and see the dark pewter ring of colour edging the paler iris of his glittering grey eyes. Piercing grey eyes which now held her own captive….
‘Promise me, Lily!’ His fingers tightened painfully in her curls as he tilted her head back, exposing the creamy column of her throat. At the same time, his other arm curled about her waist and pulled her against his parted thighs, making her aware of the hard length of his arousal even as the solidity of his chest pushed up the full swell of her breasts.
Lily’s palms lay warmly against the waistcoat covering that muscled chest. ‘If it is your wish—’
‘It is!’
‘Then I promise you never to cut my hair.’
His breath caught in his throat. ‘Thank you.’
She looked up at him, so very aware of the throb of Giles’s swollen arousal pressing into her own heat. ‘Is it now your intention to kiss me again?’
Was it—?
Good heavens, Giles wanted nothing more than to kiss the wild and exotically lovely creature he held in his arms. To kiss Lily, to touch and caress her, to hold her wildness to him, if only for the short time she might allow it.
Every muscle and sinew in his body was tense with that need as he answered her gruffly. ‘I will not take anything you do not give willingly, Lily.’
‘I—’ She broke off abruptly, tensing at the sound of someone whistling.
‘Stop dawdling back there, boy!’ The harsh tones of Mrs Lovell’s voice were unmistakable.
The whistling stopped. ‘Sure an’ it’s a fine day for a walk, Aunt Rosa,’ Judah Lovell answered her unconcernedly.
‘Carry this basket of herbs for me if ye can’t be useful in any other way,’ his aunt snapped her impatience as those two voices came steadily closer to where Lily and Giles stood.
Lily looked up at Giles with wide eyes, her cheeks having paled. ‘We should not be found here together like this!’
A brief wave of…something washed over Giles, as he wondered if Lily’s panic was thoughts of discovery by Mrs Lovell or her nephew. He quickly dismissed the emotion; there had been so many misunderstandings between him and Lily already, without his jumping to yet more.
‘Come!’ Giles urged softly as he released Lily to remove his hat before taking a firm hold of her hand and leading her quickly beneath the branches of the overhanging willow, the two of them at once enclosed inside its dark cavern of foliage, allowing them to hear the approach of Mrs Lovell and her nephew if not actually see them. And if Giles and Lily could not see Judah and Mrs Lovell, then hopefully the pair could not see them either….
‘There’s usually mushrooms hereabouts,’ Mrs Lovell could be heard announcing cheerfully.
‘Can’t we get ‘em on the way back?’ her nephew grumbled.
Giles knew he should have been at work in the fields of the estate but he had obviously decided not to bother.
‘You’re a lazy good-for-nothing.’ Mrs Lovell obviously echoed Giles’s sentiments. ‘Just like your father before ye.’
‘And ‘ow would you know what me da were like, when ye never troubled yourself to set eyes on ‘im again after we left for Ireland twenty years ago?’ Judah Lovell came back dismissively.
‘Black Jack was a lazy good-for-nothing then, and I has no reason to believe that changed afore he died,’ the elderly Gypsy returned scathingly. ‘And don’t look at me like that, Judah. You know as well as I what a wastrel ya da were, and from what I’ve seen since ye got back you’re just like him,’ she added remorselessly.
Her nephew gave a merry laugh. ‘Why bother meself working for something when it sits there for the taking!’
‘We’ll have none of your thieving ways round here, Judah-me-lad,’ Mrs Lovell warned harshly. ‘No, nor none of your wicked ways with the lasses neither. You’ll leave no tow-headed chivvies here when ye go.’
‘There’s only one lassie in these parts beautiful enough to waste me time on,’ her nephew informed her with youthful dismissal.
‘Oh?’
‘That vicar’s daughter is—ow! What the ‘ell was that for?’ Judah exclaimed, following the loud sound of flesh meeting flesh.
‘Keep ya trap shut about Lily Seagrove!’ Mrs Lovell hissed fiercely. ‘You hear me, boy?’
‘I ‘ears you,’ her nephew confirmed disgruntledly. ‘Weren’t no need for ye to ‘it me just because I said Lily—’
‘I said as you weren’t to talk of her again,’ Mrs Lovell warned angrily. ‘You’ll stay well away from her if’n you know what’s good for ye.’
‘The only time I’ve even spoken to her was when I brought ‘er to your yag yesterday.’
‘Well, make sure as you don’t see or speak to her again. Now pick up ya feet, boy, and get a move on before I decides I feel like hitting ye again—hello, what’s this?’
‘Looks like a lady’s bonnet and gloves to me,’ her nephew answered drily.
‘Well, I can see that for meself!’ his aunt snapped her impatience with his cheekiness. ‘I wonder what they’re doin’ here?’
Giles had felt Lily’s tension as Judah had remarked on her beauty, but he was now aware of Lily’s dismay at the realisation that her bonnet and gloves had been discovered on the grassy bank where she had left them in their haste to duck beneath the willow.
‘What does it matter what they’s doing ‘ere?’ Judah had obviously reached the end of his patience. ‘Take the bonnet and gloves wi’ ye, if you’re that worried about ‘em, and let’s get on to the village!’
‘If’n your poor mother were alive she’d turn over in her grave to listen to the way you speak to your elders and betters.’
‘If’n she were alive she wouldn’t be in her grave.’
* * *
‘I believe it is safe now, Lily,’ Giles murmured reassuringly several minutes later as the Lovells’ voices became fainter and then faded away entirely. He finally heard the closing of the gate going into the churchyard as evidence that they had indeed gone on their way to the village.
Only Giles immediately realised, as he looked down at the pale oval of Lily’s beautiful face in the cool darkness, that he now faced a much more serious—and immediate!—danger than discovery by the Lovells.
Chapter Thirteen
‘I fail to understand what you find so amusing?’ It had taken Giles some seconds to realise that Lily was not trembling with fear as he had originally surmised, but was instead laughing, her eyes now glowing with amusement in the strange half-light beneath the branches of the willow.
That laughter still trembled on her lips as she shook her h
ead. ‘I was only thinking of how all your misconceptions of my behaviour must now be shattered.’
‘Oh?’
She nodded. ‘In one morning you have accepted that I loved Edward only as a brother, learnt that I would not consider taking Sir Nathan Samuelson as a husband if he were the last man on earth and that the only time I chanced to meet Judah Lovell was yesterday, when you happened to see him escorting me to Mrs Lovell’s campsite.’
Yes, Giles had indeed come to a realisation of all those things. ‘Which would seem to leave me as the only man in your life….’
Lily’s amusement faded as she became aware of how very alone they now were beneath the silence of the willow’s thick branches, and that Giles’s arms still circled the slenderness of her waist. ‘You?’
His eyes glowed down at her in the darkness. ‘You must know that I desire you, Lily. How could you not?’ he added. The evidence of that desire was all too evident to them both.
She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, suddenly very aware of the pulsing heat of Giles’s desire as it pressed against her soft abdomen.
Urgently.
Temptingly!
‘Dare I hope you feel that same desire for me, Lily?’
She breathed shallowly. ‘I—’
‘Please tell me the truth of it, Lily,’ Giles urged huskily, his arms tightening about her waist. ‘For I will not frighten or disgust you with the depth of my…my arousal, a second time.’
Lily stared up at him in the gloom, able to see the fierce glitter of Giles’s gaze upon her, and the sharp blades of his cheekbones, the firmness of his jaw clenched so tightly beneath the sensuality of his sculptured lips.
Did she desire Giles?
It seemed now as if Lily could not remember a time when she had not.
Their conversation today meant she could no longer see him as Edward’s cold and arrogant older brother. Or as the man who had insulted and reviled her because he believed her guilty of trying to ensnare his besotted younger brother into matrimony. Neither could she any longer believe him to be coldly callous about the estate or his father’s health.
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