by Alice Moore
But I hadn’t spoken to my father in nearly two weeks, and I didn’t know how to dissolve that tension. It’d only make Ally uncomfortable to get thrown into the mix right now, and it would be even worse because she knew what it was about.
“I don’t know. With everything going on with Dad, I-“ Cut off by a harsh clearing of a throat, I twisted to watch my father enter the kitchen. The kitchen went deathly quiet, and blood rushed in my ears as my heart thudded hard against my ribs. Holding a neutral expression he’d perfected over the years, my dad didn’t even have to say anything to let me know he wanted a private discussion
“… That’s my queue…” Sam ran away with sandwich in hand, and I turned to face my father as he leaned on the counter opposite me.
For a long, tense moment, we only stared at each other, and I ground my teeth and narrowed my eyes when he finally opened his mouth.
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding here, Roark.” The grave quality in his voice made me uncertain, and I tensed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t hate Julianne. She’s alive because of me- because I wouldn’t let your mother get an abortion. You think I didn’t have this conversation with Julianne before sending her to Wells, but I did. She was old enough to know why I couldn’t love her.”
Stiffening at my father’s confession, I went wide-eyed and slacked jawed, and he sighed heavily. Ice pierced my heart and invaded my veins, and the urge to throw up hit me hard.
“In our prenuptial agreement she’d get nothing. It’s the only reason we’re still together- I couldn’t bring myself to throw her out because she had a boyfriend. I would’ve if I’d known about the affair before she became pregnant, and I plan on divorcing her after Julianne turns 18. Your mother was a good wife, one of the great loves of my life, but after 20 years, things just weren’t the same. I made the decision to keep everything from you because I wanted Julianne to have at least one person in this family that loved her.”
Clenching my jaw, I rolled my head to relieve the pressure between my shoulders. I knew my parents weren’t in love and hadn’t been for a long time, but I never suspected how far that corruption truly went.
And Julianne knows… My heart nearly stopped at that thought, and goosebumps washed my arms as my gut churned. Turning my back on my father, I braced myself against the island to take a shallow breath. A hard palm landed on my shoulder, and my eyelids fluttered closed to hold back the sting that beat against them.
“You said you made an agreement…” Grinding the words out through my teeth, a sharp chill of fear raced down my spine.
“Yes. I would pay for Julianne’s upbringing as long as your mother cut all ties with her boyfriend. She loved him- wanted to leave me for him- but she would never see a dime of my money unless I gave it to her outside of our contract. From what I know, he didn’t make enough to comfortably support the three of them, and he didn’t want the burden of a child at the time. I know who he is, and if Julianne ever wants that, I’ll hand him over. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that, though. My wife isn’t the only woman he managed to do this to.” The sorrow in my father’s voice was potent, and I glanced over my shoulder to catch him frown deeply. “So, now you know, Roark. I need you to believe that I do what I can for Julianne, but I can’t find it in me to love her the way I love you.”
“… Did you ever consider that Carla was manipulating me?” Desperately changing the subject, I hovered up air through flared nostrils as my father sighed heavily again. Just in that one noise, I knew what his answer would be.
“I strongly thought that, yes. But it’s wasn’t and will never be me that makes your decisions for you, Roark. You were so in love with Carla that saying anything would’ve damaged our relationship. You had to get out on your own, and I could only support whatever you wanted. I was relieved when you told me you were getting a divorce, just like I was when you had Carla sign a pre-nuptial. I know you don’t remember, but the whole reason you separated and realized how bad Carla was is solely because you recognized the similarities your marriage had to mine. You’re my son, Roark- and I couldn’t have asked for a better man.” That sounds like something Ally would say Matt said. My lips quirked up at that, and my father’s palm slid from my shoulder before he cleared his throat roughly. “I’m hoping your new girlfriend makes you happy.”
Twisting to stare at my dad from under furrowed brows, I frowned deeply even as the knots in my chest unfurled. A hundred, thousand pounds had been lifted from my shoulders with this short, intense conversation, and I reached to rake my hand through my hair before opening my mouth.
“Did Sam tell you?” Suspicion colored my voice, and my father cracked a smirk that made him look ten years younger.
“You’re not discreet about it at all, Roark. There’s a gift in taking things slow, son, but don’t be too slow. Invite her over.” Blood rushed to my cheeks, and my dad walked of out of the kitchen while shaking his head. I felt like I did years ago- before I started to hate him for the way he treated Julianne. We were close up until my early 20s, and I never had reservations about going to him for advice.
Fishing my pocket for my cell phone, I rested my elbows on the island with a lightness in my heart. Easily finding Ally’s contact, I opened a text thread with steady thumbs, and a smile picked up the corners of my lips.
Roark: You busy?
Mine was such a simple message, and Ally’s reply was almost instant. My screen hadn’t even dimmed before the ellipsis appeared on her side of the thread to tell me she was crafting a response.
Ally: No. Come make me a pillow fort and feed me cheese puff balls.
“Ah-… okay…” Mumbling to myself as my brows arched, I typed a quick agreement before patting my pockets in search of my keys. “Someone’s not in a good mood.”
The drive to Ally’s apartment was only six or seven minutes, and I knocked on her front door before letting myself in. Instantly I stopped short, my eyes widening as they struggled to take in the absurdly large stack of mismatched couch cushions that sat where her coffee table should be. Peeking around the corner, I cocked my head as she crouched in front of her refrigerator with her head in her hands.
Even from a few yards away, I could feel how frustrated Ally was; irritation wafted off her in dark tendrils that were almost solid- they were so strong. Silently shutting the door behind me, I kicked off my shoes and made my way over to her to crouch in front of her. Reaching to stroke her crown, I frowned when she tensed, but she didn’t reject my touch.
“What’s wrong, Ally?” She didn’t move, but out of the bottom of my vision, I saw her toes curl slightly off the carpet. Affection threatened to drown me even though I could breathe fine, and she huffed before offering a response.
“They took my favorite movie off the Stream…” Muffing by her palm, Ally’s complaint nearly made me choke on my own saliva. Her favorite movie was an animated musical about ponies that had only come out the year before, and she sniffled harshly before continuing. “The fort was supposed to be a surprise, and I found a movie you suggested a couple times before… but now- it’s all ruined. This was supposed to be special.”
Breathe, Roark. She just got her birth control taken out. Just ignore the hilarity of this situation and you won’t get a knee to the balls. Thinking so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if smoke poured from my ears, I just continued stroking Ally’s hair as she sulked.
“Hey- hey, we can still make a fort and watch the movie, Ally.” My voice was rough from trying not to laugh, and I coughed to hide my attempt to clear it. “How about we make a date to go to the movie theater? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind playing it for you. I can even go tomorrow while you’re in school and talk to the manager if you want.”
Slowly lifting her head, Ally cast her watery gaze on me, and I pursed my lips together to keep from smiling. She was always so mature, but I seemed to bring out the baby in her just as she brought out the awkward teen in me.
“You’ll do that for me
?” Her voice wavered, and her lips wobbled- and it was downright the cutest thing I’d ever seen. Nodding firmly, I cupped her cheek as she sniffled loudly.
“Of course, I would. I’d do anything for you, Ally.”
Ally
It’s positive. Glancing between the directions on the back of the box and the pregnancy test, I closed my eyes and let both items clatter to the floor. Bracing my elbows on my knees, I ducked my head to wallow in my misery as the stench of urine wafted into my nostrils.
“Damnit… what am I supposed to do now…” I was, for all intents and purposed, completely and utterly fucked. My faith that Roark wouldn’t ghost me was absolute, but that was based on the assumption that I could even find the courage to tell him. Mumbling to myself, I bit my bottom lip hard before reached for the toilet paper.
Wrapping the test in two plastic bags, I shoved it down into the trash bag with a grunt. My period was five days late; there was no chance that the test was a false positive. I’d gone the entire month without an implant, and I didn’t even know it.
Just how stupid was I, anyway? Stalking to my bed, I fell down face first to let out a muffled shriek.
Turning my head to stare at the wall, I deflated like a popped balloon as my mind went strangely still and silent. This was a disaster, and I acknowledged that. There was nothing else to freak out about. I could think of how to tell Roark another time, and I closed my eyes to take a deep breath and hold it.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but a loud knocking on my front door jerked me into consciousness. Rolling onto my side, I curled up to ignore the insistent banging and dragged a pillow over my head. My groggy mind knew that Roark wasn’t coming over today, and if he wanted to, he would’ve texted me first. He was sweet like that, not this asshole that knocked on the door like a professional boxer.
After a few, long, seconds the knocking ceased, and I let out a sigh of relief only to be drowned out by my cell phone ringtone. Rolling heavily onto my opposite side, I glared at my phone as it vibrated against the coffee table.
Then the knocking started again, and annoyance began to bubble up in my chest. Pushing myself up roughly, I stormed to the front door to twist and yank the knob violently.
But whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t for a delivery guy in a bright blue and orange blazer to greet me. He couldn’t have been older than 18, with pimples all over his face and braces corralling his teeth when he opened his mouth to speak.
“Thank you for choosing Happy Henry’s Hunger House. Here’s your order.” Shoving a bag filled with four takeout containers at me, the delivery boy rolled his eyes and grumbled about how stupid his greeting phrase was as he sauntered away from my front door. For a long moment I could only stare at him, confusion masking my expression, before I turned my eyes to the heavy plastic bag.
“What the fuck is going on today…?” Posing my question to no one in particular, I shut my front door to hold the bag up to my nose. The bag smelled like a mix of mac’n’cheese and pickles, and I jerked my head back to gag. “Oh my God- that’s disgusting.”
Setting the food I didn’t order on my kitchenette counter, I went to swipe my phone from the coffee table and open my texts. Roark’s name showed up in bold at the top of the list, and I opened the thread to lean back on my heels.
Roark: Everything okay Ally? You didn’t text me after you got out.
This was such a short text, but I could still sense the worry in it. Smiling softly, I circled my thumbs absently as I decided how best to respond.
It wasn’t like I could tell him I had a positive test result and decided to sleep away the stress. Then he’d think I was a lazy procrastinator, and that wasn’t acceptable.
Ally: Not feeling too great. I took a nap, but some idiot kid delivered take out to my apartment and woke me up… What’s up?
“At least it’s not a lie…” Muttering to myself, I breathed a sigh of relief, and my shoulders slumped as I went back to the bag of food. Pulling out the top box, I popped the top and peeked inside to find something that might’ve resembled a cheeseburger at some point. The patty was on the opposite side of the container, and the cheese was stuck between the side and the buns.
“Gross.” I set the box down to grab another one, and inside it, I found soggy fries.
“Yuck.” Taking out the third container, I scrunched up my nose at the almost gray mac’n’cheese, and I wasn’t sure I had the stomach to open the fourth box.
Tossing it all in the trash, I pulled the bag up by the drawstrings to tie it tightly. Before I could haul the bag to the bins outside, my phone chimed, and I snatched it off the counter to navigate to my texts.
Roark: It’s nothing… was just worried. Go back to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow for our date. Hope you feel better.
Typing out a quick reply, I set my phone down again to grab the trash and make my way towards the front door. The journey to the trash bins was short, and I lingered on the stoop to take in the beauty of late afternoon. Everything was glowing gold and sparkling, and birds chirped loudly as they jumped from powerline to house to tree branch.
Ally: I can’t go back to sleep now. I’m probably just going to take a really long, hot bath.
Searching my dresser drawers for something to lounge in, I nibbled on my bottom lip before grabbing an extra-large, dark gray t-shirt and a pair of matching panties. My phone pinged, and I draped my clothes over my arm before fiddling with the device.
Roark: Do you want me to come by? Grab anything?
A smile curved my lips, and I walked the short distance to the bathroom to flick on the lights. The tiles were cool under my bare feet, and my clothes slid down my arm onto the toilet seat before I texted Roark back.
This moment was surprisingly peaceful, as if my last trip in here hadn’t even happened.
Ally: Sure. Did you eat dinner yet?
Setting my phone on the toilet tank, I stuffed the plug in the tub drain and turned on the water. The pipes rattled slightly in the walls, and I sat on the edge of the bath to watch the clear, hot liquid gush from the faucet. My phone chimed again, and I only briefly glanced at Roark’s message. He was leaving and would grab pizza on the way. We seemed to eat in a lot, and I had to think back to two or three weeks ago to figure out when the last time we had pizza was.
“I should tell him.” Muttering to myself, I pursed my lips together before standing up to take off my clothes. My yoga shorts clung to my skin, desperate to stay on, and I frowned deeply as I kicked my leg out. “It’d be smart to tell him.”
But a deep-seeded fear nestled in my stomach, and not even the near burning water enveloping me could dislodge it.
My relaxation lasted for all of 15 minutes before my front door creaked softly, and I cracked open my eyes to stare into my living room. Roark crowded the threshold, blocking my view of my coffee table to cross his arms over his chest. His eyes narrowed and roamed as I climbed out of the tub, but I couldn’t take mine from his face. Images of what expression he might wear when I told him I was pregnant flashed in my mind’s eye, and I pursed my lips into a thin line.
“If there were bubbles, I would’ve joined you.” Roark’s smirk was dazzling, coaxing a smile onto my face when I realized he wasn’t aware of what I was thinking. I had time to have an anxiety breakdown when I was alone. Snatching a towel, I glanced over my shoulder to giggle at the idea of him in such a small tub.
“In that case, I’d need a bigger bathtub.” Wrapping my towel around myself, I walked the few feet into Roark’s arms to snuggle into his chest. Against my cheek, his heart beat strong and steady, and I relished the moment as he unpinned my hair to run his fingers through the strands. His presence alone dissolved the knots in my belly, and I sighed to release the pressure beating against my skull.
I need to find a cute way to tell him. Resolve firmed in my heart, and I lifted my head to grab Roark’s face and bring his lips to mine. Ours was a quick, passionate kiss, and he broke it to pick me up with an arm
against my back and the other under my knees. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed a kiss to his cheek in silent appreciation to feel him smile.
Ally
Moaning softly, I frowned beyond the haze of sleep as rough fingertips coaxed me into consciousness. Turning my head into the contact, I furrowed my brows and sighed while Roark traced my lips. A tickle slithered across my cheek and up my nose, and I forced open my heavy eyelids to blink a few times.
Propped on his elbow to gaze down at me, Roark wore a smile so serene it knocked the air from my lungs. It was such a contrast to the confused misery on his face the night before when he told me about the conversation he’d had with his father. Humming softly at him, I rolled sluggishly onto my side to face him before he opened his mouth.
“I want to introduce you to my dad.” Whispering, Roark punctuated his desire with a deep kiss, and I moaned softly. My brain kicked into action, slowly processing what he’d said before he pulled back to sigh against my face. Licking my lips generously, I arched slightly to feel my back strain and let out a groan.
“Oka-ay… When?” Scratching my throat, my voice was hoarse from sleep, and I closed my eyes to snuggle in his chest.
“Tonight?” Absently I nodded, not giving it any more thought than I absolutely had to, and Roark deflated slightly against my forehead. “Great.”
My mind worked slowly, formulating a plan now that I was being thrust into a situation I’d anticipated for a while. I didn’t expect Roark to ask so soon, and I needed a really solid plan if I wanted to avoid blurting out I was pregnant in front of his father and sister from nerves.
“I’m going to go shopping today, I think.” A frown dragged down my lips at my own suggestion, and I rolled onto my back to heave a sigh. It struck me hard how stupid this plan was, but I couldn’t back down now. “Do you want to come?”