by Alice Moore
In my palms, my camera was heavy, and I took a deep, stabilizing breath as I peered through the lens. The deer weren’t alert, gazing under the warmth with nothing more than a few, weak twitches of their ears. Between the adults, the babies played on fairly stable legs, and my shutter finger tensed as I zoomed in on them.
“Stay still for me, baby deer… you can do it. I got this. Just stay still… just like that.” Muttering to myself, I leant to prop my elbows on my knees just as the fawn’s spots caught the golden sunlight that breached the canopy. The shot was beautiful, and I managed to take a few before my target shuffled away. Moseying my way through the scene, my chest tightened in accomplishment with each click of the shutter.
This was what I pursued photography for- these beautiful, one of a kind photographs that couldn’t be compared.
The heat flushed my cheeks by the time I settled on my butt, and I sighed heavily as I watched the deer make their way out of my field of vision. Whatever they’d been doing, they were finished now; and so was I, apparently. Rocking backward slightly, I flung out my arm to pet Kiki’s still, anxious body before turning my gaze to her. Soft pants slipped from behind sharp, pearly white teeth, her tongue hanging out and eyes darting around, and I ran my palm down her lengthwise before opening my mouth.
“… Tszt…” In a silent flash of pure muscle Kiki was gone from my side, leaving nothing but air swirling under my skin. Sitting there for a moment, I listened to the not-so-distant sound of frantic struggle beyond the trees, but I didn’t move. I didn’t have to do anything; Kiki knew better than to go for the adult deer.
My lips picked up at the memory of my father’s face when he first took me hunting. I wasn’t particularly confident with a gun, though. The second time we went out, my father gave me a bow. When that was even worse off for me, he made the decision that I was better at cleaning and cooking than I was at shooting. From then on there was a silent understanding between us- I could shoot if I wanted to… or he could.
After a moment or two Kiki barked loudly, and I pushed myself up to swipe the debris from my butt. Clutching my camera to my chest, I followed the sound of my dog for a few yards until she came into sight.
Blood and gore had never bothered me, and this time was no different as I crouched down next to the dead fawn. Red, warm liquid seeped from a deep gash in its neck, and its eyes were glassy and lifeless as they stared into the distance. Carefully tightening the strap that held my camera, I reached for the fawn’s back hooves while Kiki once again grabbed its neck.
Caroline
“Don’t be greedy, Kiki- you glutton.” Scrunching up my face as Kiki paused her creeping towards the stripped fawn, I shook my head with a smile. She’d eaten quite a bit more than I had expected, and happiness bubbled up in my chest at how much she liked deer meat.
Glancing around my campsite, my pupils narrowed to take in the shadows that combated the firelight. Yellows and oranges flickered off tree trunks and my tent, and I pulled my legs up to rest my cheek on my knee. I couldn’t let my mind wander to the next day, and I ran my tongue along my teeth absently as I sought something else to think of. The sun had set a while ago, making traveling to the stream dangerous; it might’ve only been a short way away, but the forest changed in the dark.
“Do you think I could get my dad to support me moving out here, hm?” Posing my question even though Kiki couldn’t answer, I was met with a silence I expected. Staring into the fire, I rubbed my greasy palms together and furrowed my brows. My father took care of the bills no matter how many times I’d offered to cover my portion. He’d shut me down about even talking remotely about finances, and there was no way for me to break that ceiling.
His argument was that I was his child- his only child- and as long as I lived under his roof, I’d be treated as such.
Which is fine. It’s not like I don’t have a job or am a loser. My smile dulled to a frown at that thought, and I expelled a heavy sigh. Despite his mile-long stubborn streak, my father wasn’t a bad dad in any way. And yet, here I am- nearly 27 years old and still living with him because I’m too lazy to do all of the work for an apartment I might not even use much.
We were two birds of the same feather- my father and I. He understood why I didn’t go to college or get a job at a cube farm like all of my high school friends had. In the same way he went into the military at 16, I started on my own journey.
But that didn’t mean I felt comfortable effectively mooching off him for the past ten years.
“Maybe I’ll look into it when I get back.” Muttering into my bare knee, my frown only grew deeper; I knew even as I said it that I wouldn’t look into anything. The wilderness was great for putting things into perspective, see?
“Come on, Kiki. Bedtime.” Sweat caused my hair to stick to my cheeks and the nape of my neck, and I shook my head wildly as I stood up. Running my hand through the oily, thinning mass, I grabbed a bucket of water and dumped it onto the already low fire. A sharp hiss followed the darkness that blanketed my campsite, and I poked around the pit with a stick before turning to my tent.
Sleep refused to come easily to me; whether it was because this was my last night in paradise, or because of what weighed on my brain, I couldn’t tell. Staring at the curved ceiling above me, I propped my head on my arm to listen to the bugs beyond the polyester. No matter where I went, the sounds were usually the same at night. Crickets sang their songs, and nocturnal animals rummaged around for something to eat after a long day of sleep. The chorus couldn’t lull me into unconsciousness like it usually did, though.
Against my feet, Kiki’s powerful, compact body was hard but relaxed, and her huffs created a steady backdrop to nature’s music. Closing my eyes, I rolled my shoulders as the sounds grew slightly louder and hoped that I could sleep tonight.
“Good night sun, goodnight moon, I hope to see you both real soon…” Mumbling my little mantra, I sunk into my sleeping bag with a sigh. The fact that this was my last night here, coupled with how gross I felt, made my muscles twitch and skin itch. In mere hours I would be hopping in my truck to take the two-day journey home, but there was still so much to see and do.
At least, that was what my busy mind was telling me just to get me out of this tent.
“Ugh.” Groaning softly, I pushed myself up to sit and grabbed a water bottle from the corner. Yanking off the cap, my fingers slipped on the smooth plastic a bit, and frustration welled in my chest. “Fudge this. I can’t sleep like this.”
Crawling miserably out of my tent, I shoved my feet into my boots to tromp in the general direction of the stream. Mine was a terrible idea, I knew; I should just deal with it until morning. Shadows within shadows surrounded me, and the insects around me quieted when I passed, leaving me in an ominous silence. Squinting through the darkness, I stepped slowly, carefully, as I made my way to relief.
Slapping my thigh hard, I let out a pained yelp from the sting even as the sensation of being a meal disappeared.
“God-! I forgot the bug spray!” My palm hit my elbow as I grumbled harshly, and Kiki whined as she slunk through the undergrowth beside me. Scowling at her silhouette, envy clogged my throat at her naturally thick fur that warded off mosquitoes. “Next time, just stop me from leaving the tent, okay? I’m an idiot. It’s dark, I don’t have bug spray… I’m going to break my ass out here.”
Kiki didn’t respond in any way, and I growled as if I was the dog. Maybe that’s why she’s ignoring me. She knows this is my fault, and I’m just being a whiny brat.
We’d only been walking for two minutes, but we were already closer to the stream than the campsite. There was no reason to backtrack, and I held my hands out in front of me even as the moon began to shine brighter through the canopy. Water trickling hit my ears like the call of a dinner bell, causing my skin to crawl with goosebumps and my stomach flip expectantly. My legs tightened, and I picked up my pace with a bit of excitement and relief chasing away my irritation.
“See- I knew
we could do it, Kiki. I had faith all along. And when we get back, I’ll be all s-!” A sharp shriek cut me off, and I didn’t even realize it’d come from my own mouth as the sound rang in my ears. My flailing arms did nothing to help me as I slid down the embankment of the stream. Against my ribs, my heart stuttered and jolted, and my vision blurred and spun.
Holding my palms out before me, I stared into the abyss before me before the trees and rocks became clear again. My mind frantically tried to catch up with what I’d just experienced; there was no other way to describe it but out of body. Blinking hard, I held my breath in quivering lungs before Kiki’s concerned whining broke through the wall surrounding my scope of comprehension.
“Shit-“ The slur was slow to roll off my heavy, dry tongue, and a shiver lodged between my shoulder blades. Kiki’s wet, cold nose nudged my belly and side, and I turned my dazed gaze to her to reach with trembling fingers for her scruff. “I’m okay, Kiki. I got this.”
Pulling my legs up one at a time, I ran my palms down my thighs and over my knees experimentally. In the dark, I couldn’t see if I was bruising, but the throbbing pain against my outer thigh promised of the marks to come. Hissing at my own painful prodding, I squeezed my eyes shut to take a deep, haggard breath. Sweat gathered on my upper lip, and I moved to my lower legs with clammy palms.
“Ow-w! Fuck! Ow!” My shrill cry echoed around me, and I winced at the sound even as a sharp pain shot up my legs and spine. Carefully poking around my lower shin and ankle, I bit down hard on my bottom lip while tears welled in my eyes. My left ankle was definitely broken; I could feel the bones shifting and moving under my skin. Shuffling to my right leg, I sniffled hard at that same, harsh, stabbing pain that pierced up to the base of my neck.
“K- Kiki… go- search.” Bringing my shaking thumbs up to my lips, I let out a low whistle even while my mind worked overtime. I couldn’t move; the ankle I’d fallen on was broken and the one I’d used to stabilize myself was sprained- at least. Hugging myself tightly, I stared at my feet with wide eyes before realizing that cold water was seeping into my boots.
Scooting a few inches forward, I gasped as the trickle sloshed over my swelling, aching ankles. My socks were instantly soaked, but the relief was almost immediate. Closing my eyes, I ducked my head into my knees to hiccup a sob. I’d probably be stuck here for hours before Kiki came back with help.
I was a fucking idiot for leaving my tent.
Caroline
Sweat caked my body, and I nearly managed to nod off before Kiki’s familiar bark tickled my eardrums. The sound sent a jerk ripping through my muscles, and I clamped my hands over my mouth to stop myself from crying out. Pain gripped my legs with a viciousness, and my whimpers surrounded me mockingly. Twisting at the rustling that sounded to me right, I fumbled for a heavy rock as my heart hammered in my chest. Blood rushed in my ears, drowning out the sound of my own harsh panting.
Kiki’s light steps were followed by something much bigger and heavier tromping behind her, and I swiped my tears from my eyes to get a clear look. The sun was turning the atmosphere gray; in a mere hour or two the star would crest the horizon. It’d taken my dog all night to find help, and I trembled violently before she burst from the trees. Her tail wagged furiously, tongue hanging out of her dry mouth as she came up to me. Rubbing and brushing against my back, her warm body supported mine.
Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I let my relief surge through me as I rested my head on hers.
“Good girl. Good girl, Kiki… Oh Jesus- I don’t know what I’d do without you, huh…” Mumbling shakily into her coarse fur, I sniffled hard before the sharp breaking of a twig captured my attention. Jerking as the sound rippled across my skin, I took a shuddering, shallow breath as a massive, human body emerged from the darkness.
“… You look like shit…” Deep and rumbling, his voice wrapped around me to send a wash of goosebumps over my entire body. Stiffening as he sauntered closer, I tightened my grip on my dog while he crouched down. “Can I touch you?”
My only response was a hesitant nod, and the man reached for me to carefully pick me up with an arm under my knees and another around my back. The action was smooth, causing no pain to attack my stiff legs, and I held the fabric of his shirt with white, trembling fingers.
Kiki made no move to resist, and that was the real clincher for me. If she trusted this stranger, then I had no problem doing so either. At least, for now. Her whines and huffs were dying down, but her sharp eyes were everywhere when I glanced down as I was hauled into the air.
“You trained that dog?” Tensing at the question, I sucked in air through my teeth as my gaze flew up. Brows furrowed, the man wore a curious expression that only darkened until I managed another silent nod. “She’s good. What’s her name?”
“K- Kiki…C- can you bring me back to camp… a- about a mile… that way?” Sputtering my request, my heart squeezed, and my lungs locked when the man shook his head jerkily. “Why- why…? I- I need a hos-pital…”
“You won’t make it to a hospital before you get an infection from all the shit in your boots. Besides, they’ll just charge you a crazy amount of money for something I can do for free. Relax. You can go after I disinfect your wounds. You lost a lot of blood overnight, too. You know your type?” My eyes widened at that, and I glanced down to stare at my leg. Even in the fading darkness I could barely see, and the man snorted roughly as he began to sway from a heavy gait. “Do you know your blood type?”
“A… A+… The best grade you can get in school.” An ache spread in my chest from how hard my heart pumped, and I let my head fall back with a harsh groan. “My chest- my chest-“
“Yeah- yeah… Calm down. You’re overthinking your blood loss. Lucky for you, I’m A+, too. What’s your name?” The man talked like he was discussing the weather; as if my panic wasn’t all too warranted. His dull tone spoke of experience, and the sound lulled my mind a little. Taking as deep a breath as I could manage, I held it for a few seconds before letting it burst from my throat.
“Caroline.”
“Caroline, huh? I’m James. It’s okay to pass out if you have to, you know. Your dog will probably saw through the rest of my leg if I did anything to you. She’s a smart bitch.” My slowing mind didn’t really register what James said beyond his name. The canopy above me was a blur, but despite my utter exhaustion, I couldn’t black out completely. Swaying from James’ gait, I blinked past my bleary vision, but it did nothing to help me see.
“Here we are…” Time held no meaning until a blast of cool air hit my side, and James tightened his grip on me as I jolted into full consciousness. “Up on the table you go.”
The light that James put on was so bright it would’ve blinded me if I could see any better, and I tossed my head to the side with a groan. Hard wood cradled my back, and my hands searched for the edge of the table to hold tight.
“Don’t move. I gotta cut off your pants.” James’ voice was rough, giving me grounding for what was to come. Clenching my teeth together, I nodded between breaths as he pulled my boots off. A pained, straining groan escaped my clogged throat, but I stayed as still as I could as two thumps reverberated up through the table legs.
“Oh- fuck!” Yelping when James rolled my sock down my swollen, injured ankle, I arched off the table only to have a hand land heavily on my inner thigh. “Ah- ah!”
“Stop that shit, okay? At least you kept your feet in the water, and I’m not peeling crusty, dry skin and blood from your ankle. Jesus-“
“Oh- piss off! Just hurry up before I kick you in the face!” The mental image sent a harsh shudder down my spine, and James snorted at my rasping threat. Taking a hard breath, I held the air tightly in my lungs as he wiggled my pale, aching toes free.
“You want to suffer two broken feet then- be my guest…” James’ low mutter almost escaped me, and my gaze snapped to his pinched expression. His eyes never roamed higher than my knee, but the uncomfortable look plastered on his face def
lated my lungs in a gasp before he spoke up. “Seriously, though- don’t fucking scream or your dog will attack me.”
“That’s way more creepy than it should be, you know…” Through shallow pants I offered a reply, and James shot me a glare as he carefully pulled off my right sock.
“You know what- why don’t you just shut up entirely? I have a Perc around here, I think- if it’ll help…” Without waiting for a response, James turned away from me, and for the first time I noticed the space around me. The kitchen was quaint, modest, rustic, and I squinted to watch blurrily as he flung open an upper cabinet roughly. Medicine bottles were lined up neatly, and I relaxed a little as he shook two containers before reaching for a third and shutting the door. My lips parted at the sight of the bottle, and he popped the top easily to drop two pills into his palm.
“Don’t mess up, James…” The seriousness of the situation hit me when James held the two pills over my mouth. Staring through wide eyes at the two tiny objects, I took a shallow, unsteady breath before opening my mouth fully.
“I got you, Caroline.” My lips twitched in a smile at the absurdity of this entire episode; I was about to be drugged out of my mind by a stranger, and then that stranger was going to essentially operate on my ankle. Carefully dropping the pills into my mouth, James moved to my feet as I swallowed hard.
My dad is going to kill me. The thought was almost a certainty, and I closed my eyes to imagine the immense pile of crap I’d be dunked in when I got home. Clattering metal rang harshly in my ears, and within seconds I could feel the pain relievers start to take effect. Staring at the insides of my eyelids, I took a deep, shuddering breath as relief thickened in my veins.
A dull throbbing traveled up my leg when James examined my broken ankle, but the pain that I had experienced wasn’t there. Keeping myself as still as I could, I held my fists to my chest to feel my rapid heartbeat. Slowly the organ was finding a normal rhythm, and after a long, quiet second James spoke up.