by Deb Kastner
“I appreciate the thought—and the action,” she said softly, making him feel like that much more of a man just because of her gaze.
She shifted, laying her fingers over her neck. Eli’s gaze followed the gesture and noted how quickly her pulse was beating. He swallowed hard.
“If you want to play with Bullet while I’m gone, I’ve purchased a few toys for him.” He opened the coat closet and gestured to the contents. The word few might have been a bit of an understatement. He’d had to put in shelves. There were three rows of plastic bins on the shelf, labeled with their contents, everything from rawhide bones to squeaky toys. Toby, the tennis ball, had a place of honor in a small bin of his own.
Eli left Mary to her own devices while he carried up the two bags of kibble, one in each arm, trying without success not to analyze the situation in front of him. He was usually fairly proficient at ignoring his feelings, but these just wouldn’t go away. They nagged him and nagged him, and he didn’t have any idea what to do with them.
“I don’t know whether to be impressed by your closet or appalled by it,” she said as he rejoined her.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Binned and labeled,” she explained with an astonished sniff. “It goes beyond comprehension.”
“Guilty as charged. What can I say? I like playing with my label maker.”
“I can see that. You are outshining me in every regard today. I have dog toys and tennis balls spread all over my house.”
Eli chuckled. “I know.”
Mary’s face colored a pretty shade of rose. He loved that he could do that to her—keep her off balance. Make her blush. Cause her pretty green eyes to glitter like emeralds.
“I’m the hopeless housekeeper, while you are—”
“Mr. Neat Freak,” he finished for her.
“I wasn’t going to say freak, but if the shoe fits...”
“You have no idea.”
“You are probably a morning person, too.”
He didn’t know what that had to do with anything, and somehow she made it sound like an insult.
“Let me guess,” she continued. “Six a.m.? Seven?”
“Close.” He was starting to figure out where the conversation was going. Although Mary was teasing him with her challenges, she was also highlighting yet more respects in which the two of them were polar opposites. He hated even to answer her, but he did. “I’m up by four-thirty, most mornings, so I have time for a run before work.”
“Ugh.” She gave a mock shiver and cupped her mug of coffee in both hands. “Nothing, not even a fire in my house, would entice me to get up that early in the morning. It’s all I can do to be ready for work at eight. Catch me in the evening, though, and I’m ready to rumble.”
Eli shook his head. Why were they even talking about sleep cycles? He didn’t want to think about all the differences that existed between them. He’d rather focus on what they shared in common.
“Valentine’s Day is coming up on Friday. I think the church ladies are making the Sweetheart Social an especially big deal this year, what with all the single adults in town.” Now there was a smooth segue. He had just dived off a cliff headfirst without even knowing if there was water underneath him, much less how deep it was.
His statement could hardly be viewed as casual, especially since he had blurted it out of nowhere. Now would be a good time for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.
Mary didn’t comment. Instead, she set her coffee aside, knelt and buried her face in Bullet’s fur.
Fear coursed like lightning through Eli’s veins. It was his stupid phobia again, acting in overdrive. His first instinct was to drag her away from the dog—the potential threat—before his nightmare was reenacted right before his eyes, to a woman he cared deeply for.
He averted his gaze and took a deep breath, praying this fear would disappear and never return. Instead, his past played before his eyes.
He was four, doing what four-year-olds did, playing hide-and-seek with his older brother and sister in a field behind their house. He’d found the perfect place to hide, near an overgrown tree stump that looked as if it had been there forever, its once stately form now reduced into shriveled, hooked branches.
He’d started fidgeting as the shadows engulfed him. He didn’t like the shadows. They scared him. The place was far too spooky for him to stay hidden for long. He had just decided to reveal himself to his siblings and receive their ridicule when suddenly a wolf hybrid sprang from a dark burrow Eli hadn’t even noticed existed at the base of the stump.
Eli hadn’t a chance to react before the animal was on top of him. He was dimly aware of claws and fur and teeth, as he sank to the ground and rolled into a ball to protect his face.
Vee had challenged the dog with a big stick and scared her off into the brush. They discovered later that she’d been protecting her pups, but by then it was too late for Eli to rationalize the attack. His fears were as permanent as the tooth-and-claw scars across his forearm and shoulder, a constant reminder of the incident and of the dangers of letting himself be vulnerable.
“Eli?” Mary’s sweet voice slowly penetrated the fog of his reverie. He felt as if he’d been wakened from a dead sleep, a deep dream state. His mind was hazy, and his thought process was moving at a snail’s pace.
“I lost you there for a minute,” she continued. “Where did you go just now?” She remained crouched by Bullet, her arm loosely draped around his neck, not appearing to mind the way the dog lapped at her cheek.
Eli shook his head. “I didn’t go anyplace,” he denied, perhaps a little more forcefully than he should have.
Except to revisit the past I’d rather forget.
“It’s... Well, you looked...” Mary stammered, then let her sentence drop.
The intercom to his apartment buzzed into the nervous silence, causing them both to jump. Eli had never heard a more welcome sound in his life.
“Were you expecting someone?” Mary asked.
“No, I don’t think so.” He glanced at his watch, wondering if he might have forgotten some kind of important meeting.
In three long strides he reached the intercom receiver and pushed the incoming button. “Yes? Who is it, please?”
“It’s me, little brother, and I’ve brought your favorite cookies. Count your blessings that you have a sister as nice as me. I stopped by Cup O’ Jo’s Café, and Phoebe was baking peanut butter cookies, so of course I thought of you.”
Eli hadn’t been expecting his sister this evening, but his family members were always welcome and often dropped in unannounced.
“You’re going to be all cookied-out,” Mary told him, punctuated by a strained chuckle.
“Me? Never.” He patted his belly for emphasis. “Always room for another cookie, I say. Especially the ones Phoebe Hawkins bakes.”
“I have to avoid Cup O’ Jo’s or I’ll cheat on my diet for sure,” she admitted. Her eyes widened, looking terrified, as if she’d encountered a big spider or something. Eli looked at the wall behind him but saw nothing that would alarm her. By the time he’d turned back, her attention was on Bullet again. She scratched him behind the ears and talked to him in a soothing voice.
Eli felt as if she were withdrawing herself from him. Had he said something to cause her distress? He didn’t think he had. They’d been talking about cookies, for pity’s sake. He hadn’t a clue what he’d done, or what he should do now. And he didn’t have time to ponder it further before his sister, Vee, came bursting through the door.
“Like I was telling you, I smelled fresh peanut butter cookies when I was on my way home, and I haven’t seen you for a couple of weeks, so I thought—”
Her sentence came to an abrupt halt when she spied Mary crouching on the floor next to Bullet.
“Oooh,” sh
e said, drawing out the word as if she’d had a sudden burst of insight. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had company.”
Eli cringed, feeling embarrassed more for Mary than for himself. There was no doubt from Vee’s tone that she was making a big deal about the fact that her brother was entertaining female company. Vee was reading a great deal more into that scenario than what really existed. As for Eli, he had no problem associating himself with Mary, but he had no idea how she felt about it.
She bounded to her feet so fast that she almost tripped over the dog.
“I was just leaving. I only stopped by to drop off a couple bags of kibble for Bullet.”
Well, that clinched it. She didn’t want his sister to think they were involved.
“You don’t have to leave on my account,” Vee protested. “I can come back another time. I’m sure my kid brother would much rather spend his time with a pretty woman than with his boring, old sister.”
Vee couldn’t have delivered the tongue-in-cheek line any smoother, but the color of Mary’s face went from bright rose to blanched white in an instant. Eli thought, given the heat burning the tips of his ears, that his own face must be an intense shade of red.
“I... It... I’m not...” Mary stuttered. “I think I’ll go now.”
She couldn’t get out of his apartment fast enough. She practically ran out the door. Eli followed her, but she was already halfway down the stairs by the time he’d reached his door. The hallway echoed with the sound of her feet tramping down the steps in a rapid, uneven staccato.
When he could no longer hear the sound of Mary’s feet, he turned back to his sister, who had taken the liberty of pouring herself a cup of coffee.
Vee’s eyebrows rose, and her eyes sparkled with mischief. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about, or do I have to guess? Because I guarantee you that anything I come up with is going to be far more embarrassing for you than anything you can dream up.”
“You’re reading too much into this.”
Vee choked on her sip of coffee. “I highly doubt that, little brother.”
“Mary was only bringing some things by for me because she is the one with the regrettable honor of trying to teach me how to work in a K-9 unit.”
“Poor woman.” She leaned her hip against the kitchen counter. “I still don’t get why you didn’t tell Captain James that you have a problem with dogs.”
Eli straightened and set his own mug of coffee on the island counter. “And why would I do that?”
“Uh, maybe because you can’t even be in the same room as a dog?” she suggested with the slightest hint of sarcasm. She was his sister, after all. At the word dog, Bullet trotted forward and sat in front of Vee. She chuckled and scratched his ears. “You giving my brother a hard time? I don’t know, baby brother. I can’t imagine why you thought you could work with Bullet day in and day out.”
“Well, I am, aren’t I?”
“Guess so,” Vee admitted grudgingly. “How’s that working out for you?”
Eli scoffed and crossed his arms. “How do you think? I hate it. It’s pure torture for me.”
“Then why not pass it off to another officer?”
“It’s a promotion,” he said firmly, as much to himself as to Vee. “And the whole force knows I’ve accepted the position. I’m not turning it down now. That would just leave everyone to wonder why. They’re still giving me guff about Natalie running off before our wedding. I don’t need to give the guys anything else they can hold over me, and I certainly don’t want to give the ladies in town more fodder for the gossip mill.”
“So what are you going to do, then?” Vee tilted her head and regarded him thoughtfully, pulling the clip from her bun and shaking her long dark hair over her shoulders.
Eli still couldn’t get used to her wearing it down, the way she now did when she was off duty, ever since the day Ben Atwood had put a ring on her finger. She’d worn it in a bun for so many years before that it was like seeing a new person. A softer, sweeter version of the girl he’d grown up with.
“I’m going to do my job.” He cleared his throat.
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Mostly.” He frowned and shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Vee barked out a laugh. “Of course you don’t. But I know how hard it is for you to face down your fears. You aren’t giving poor Mary a hard time, are you?”
Heat rose to his face. He hoped his sister couldn’t see it, but it was clear from the expression on her face that she’d immediately picked up on his discomfort. As far as he was concerned, talking about Mary was completely off-limits, especially to his perceptive older sister.
“Why, you are, you little pickle, you.” She jabbed him in the ribs. He might be bigger than her now, but she still treated him like her little brother. “How did you explain to Mary about your—aversion to dogs?”
“I haven’t. And I’m not going to. She doesn’t need to know, any more than the guys on the force do.”
Vee’s gaze narrowed on him speculatively. She took a slow sip of coffee. “Doesn’t she?”
Eli shook his head. He was adamant about this, and nothing Vee could say would change his mind. Mary would never know. He certainly wasn’t going to tell her. And he wasn’t going to let Vee give him away, either.
“Look, I know you don’t like to share what happened to you when you were four. I get that. It’s personal and private. Believe me, I know all about those two words. But I would think it would be easier for you both if you came clean to Mary. Mary is the sweetest thing. She won’t tell anyone about your secret. You have nothing to be ashamed about, Eli. It’s just part of your past. If you ask me, it’s something you haven’t ever really dealt with. Maybe being placed in this K-9 unit is God’s way of helping you get over your pain.”
“You think?” Eli was not entirely convinced. No one understood how difficult this was for him, not even his sister. So how could he expect Mary Travis, a dog lover to the core, to understand?
And now his growing feelings for Mary were complicating matters even further. He felt like he was spinning into crazy heights on a Ferris wheel and then swinging low again, and no one was there to release the latch on the door. He’d see the ground in reach and then the wheel would circle back up again.
Stop the ride—he wanted to get off!
“Maybe Mary can help you.” Vee was pushing, and he didn’t like it.
“I don’t want to bring Mary into this,” he insisted.
“Why not? I would think that of all people, Mary would be able to— Oooh.” There was that know-it-all sound again. Eli was getting really annoyed by it.
“What?” he snapped.
“This is more about Mary than it is about Bullet.”
Eli scowled. “How do you figure?”
“You like her,” she taunted, in the same infuriating voice she’d used a million times when they were children.
“Of course I like her. She’s a nice woman.”
“Nice? I don’t think so. Why didn’t you tell me this was what it was really about? I can help you.”
He scoffed. “Oh, like you’re an expert in matters of the heart. You and Ben had such an easy road when you were getting together, right?”
“You know that’s not true, which is what makes me an expert. I made every mistake in the book. I can advise you on the pitfalls, so you can avoid them.”
“Sounds ominous,” he said, leaning his back against the counter and slouching into his crossed arms.
“But worth it. What’s your plan?”
“What plan?”
“I know you, Eli. You’re a plotter. You don’t go off half-cocked. If you want to get her attention, then you’ve already come up with a way to do so.”
He wished that w
ere true. He was still hanging on to the hope that he’d somehow figure out whatever it was that Alexis had been about to say to him to point him in the right direction. He didn’t have a GPS, and he didn’t have a map. He didn’t even know what country he was in.
Vee was waiting, one eyebrow arched and a knowing smile on her face.
“The Sweetheart Social,” he hedged. Maybe Vee would take the ball and run with it, give him some good suggestions without even realizing she was doing so.
“Perfect!” she exclaimed.
“You think?”
“Of course. You show up with flowers and chocolate and proclaim your undying love for her. Sweep her right off her feet. She won’t even know what hit her.”
Eli snorted. “I don’t think so. What’s plan B?”
“I thought you would know. You’re sure, then? No flowers?”
“I don’t know. One, maybe. But even that might be too much for her. I think I need to be subtle, take this slow. She doesn’t know I’m interested in her, and I’m not at all sure she’s interested in me.”
“Okay, then, nix the flowers. You don’t want to frighten the poor woman off. Hmm. Let me think.” She tapped her chin with her index finger, then held it up like a lightbulb had gone off in her head. “You should bring Bullet.”
“And why would I do that? I never get a break from that dog as it is.”
“You’ve got to think about what interests her, and that would be dogs. Then you play into that. Get her attention. You see?”
“I think I’m starting to.” Maybe his sister was right. Mary would be impressed with him if he brought Bullet to the social, wouldn’t she? And from there, maybe he could get a moment alone with her. It was worth a try.
“And a tie,” Vee declared.
“No way. I don’t do ties.”
“Not even for Mary?”
“I don’t even own one.”
“Ben can loan you one for the evening. What color of dress shirt were you planning to wear?”
“How should I know?” Vee pelting him with all these pointless questions was thoroughly exasperating. “Whatever’s in my closet, I guess.”