Secrets of My Hollywood Life #2: On Location

by Jen Calonita

  I watch Nadine hastily punch some numbers on her cell phone. "Hi, Bernadette, it's Nadine," she says in a fake pleas ant tone. "Nasty weather today huh? Really you were too? I'm stuck in traffic myself with Kaitlin Burke. I know. We'll be there as soon as we can." When Nadine hangs up, the si lence in the car is so awkward that I concentrate on listen ing to the windshield wipers working furiously to keep up with the monsoon outside.

  "I don't know why you're in a tizzy," Mom finally says as she flicks a stray thread off the boot-cut Blue Cult jeans she's wearing with a flowing orange silk shirt and leopard heels. "Lindsay's mom said this was the sale of the century and I couldn't miss it. You should have bought something your self. Besides, it was a quick stop," Mom adds. "We were al ready on Robertson Boulevard."

  "I just hope we aren't late to Kaitlin's meeting with Hutch and Carol." Nadine scratches her right eyebrow nervously. "I've heard stories about Carol Ingram. She may be new to Wagman's, but she was an A-list personal publicist for years before she made the move to studio marketing. Tell them, Laney You worked for her."

  "You did?" Mom, Rodney, and I practically say in unison.

  Laney looks like she might open the back door and toss Nadine out into the storm. A rumble of thunder claps over our heads.

  "I heard she was your mentor," Nadine squeaks while her face turns as red as her hair.

  Laney looks out the fogged windows of the Lincoln Rodney always chauffeurs us around in and sighs. "That was a long time ago," she says wearily. "I'm quite successful on my own, if you haven't noticed."

  "We're moving!" Rodney interrupts excitedly smacking the steering wheel. "There was a car with a flat tire in the left lane."

  "But you know Carol's secrets, right?" Nadine prods Laney "When Kaitlin signed on to Hutch's movie, I did some research on Wagman and found a scathing article about Carol in New Money magazine. It said she had Ace Makar banned from making movies at her last studio be cause he gave her trouble at a press junket."

  "That's ridiculous," Mom says skeptically. "What head of marketing has that much power?"

  "Carol's liquid gold," Laney explains sourly. "The last ten--TEN--movies she ran the publicity for made mil lions for Sonic Studios! That's why Wagman paid such a pretty penny to steal her." Laney looks away. "If only the deal could have happened after this movie," she mumbles under her breath.

  "I've never heard you mention her before," I note curiously.

  "We had a falling out when I left the private firm she ran." An unfamiliar pink tint spreads across Laney's cheeks. "I took some of her big clients with me."

  "Ouch," Nadine sums up with a full-on grin. I think Na-dine's mentally taking notes for her ascent of the political ladder.

  "But that's all in the past," Laney says dismissively "We've crossed paths since then and always been professional." Laney clears her throat.

  Her words hang in the air-conditioned cabin. "This is exactly why I didn't want us to be late to this meeting," Nadine adds quietly but not quietly enough for Mom not to hear.

  "Don't get smart with me, Nadine," Mom snaps, clearly flustered by the Carol lowdown. "The meeting doesn't start till eleven thirty!"

  UH-OH. I hear Rodney step on the gas and we ride the rest of the way in tense silence. As I watch lightning flash across the dark sky, I can't help but wonder about today's mystery meeting. Hutch has never scheduled a last-minute production pow wow. I wish I could say the move is classic Hutch, but I've only met with him a few times now and the rest I know from interviews--he's easygoing, loves to surf, and meditates on set when he's unsure of how to shoot a scene. I've heard through the grapevine his only drawbacks are that he's very secretive about scripts and is such a perfec tionist that he sometimes falls behind schedule. I hope that doesn't happen with this film: I'm due back on FA in mid-August!

  Hutch's producing partner Daniella Cook is the one I've been dealing with on a daily basis. She's been great. First she set up Capoeira (Brazilian martial arts) training sessions so I'll be in killer shape for the fight sequences. Then she hired a stunt coordinator from Cirque du Soleil to teach me how to fall out of a car or a window properly and got me classes with a dialogue coach to perfect a slight Irish accent, since my character supposedly spent part of her childhood in Ire land. She's also the one, along with my agent, Seth, who has been keeping me up-to-date on the flurry of script changes Hutch has been making (which I'll admit I'm not used to and am kind of nervous about). When Daniella hand-delivered the most recent version last Wednesday she re vealed that Hutch is getting his first screenwriter credit on this film. Daniella reminded me to guard the script with my life--Hutch has no tolerance for plot leaks.

  Before I know it, Rodney has zipped through tight secu rity and pulled up to the parking lot outside the plain brick Building 27 on Wagman's backlot. He jumps out of the car with an oversize umbrella in his hand and rushes around to the back to open the door for the rest of us. It's so windy, Rod ney, who is six foot two and almost three hundred pounds soaking wet (like he is now), is getting banged around. He steadies the umbrella over the open drenched door and gives me a wink as rain pours down on his bald head.

  "Let me worry about Carol," Laney growls at us as she slides out of the car first. "You three worry about why Hutch called this meeting in the first place."

  My stomach flip-flops as the rest of us step out of the car, huddle under the umbrella, and make our way to the lobby. Daniella mentioned Hutch liked surprises, but I know the meeting can't be about him hiring Matty. We got that call from Seth yesterday and celebrated with a sushi dinner last night. Hmm...what is this meeting about???

  OH GOD. MAYBE I'M BEING FIRED!

  HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER TWO: Just because Variety announces you snagged the role of your life in an upcoming film doesn't mean you're guaranteed to set foot on the production. Stars drop out of movies all the time, both voluntarily--boxing rehearsal injury didn't like the latest script changes, got pregnant--and involuntarily--like when a director sees the error of his ways and realizes his lead isn't worthy. I know this mega-hot actor who had two hit TV shows and practically the pick of any upcoming movie he wanted. He signed on to do this big, I mean BIG, movie with a hot director and then was quietly dropped a few weeks before production began. Rumor has it the director realized his would-be leading man may be funny, but he so can't do serious drama. Gulp. I wonder if Hutch had a change of heart about me.

  Once we're in the lobby and shake the rain off our jack ets, I take a deep breath and look down at my sensible shoes. They're adorable gold Prada ballet flats that make my feet look small with the jeans and lilac Stella McCartney turtle-neck sweater I'm wearing under my white Roberto Cavalli trench coat. I thought it was important to dress older and wiser today so that Hutch doesn't think he made a mistake hiring a sixteen-year-old to play a sixteen-year-old in his mega-budget action movie. Let's be honest: how many stars in this town actually play parts their own age?

  OH GOD. I AM BEING FIRED! I feel myself start to hyperventilate.

  "Are you alright?" Nadine asks.

  I nod. There's no reason to break the bad news now, and anyway, my throat has constricted too much for me to utter more than a choked gasp. I follow the click-clack of Laney's and my mothers heels past the perky receptionist listening to Celine Dion and up the dark blue vinyl-covered stairs to the second floor conference room. Lining the bright white walls are several Wagman film posters and I pause to look at one of Hutch's, Seeing Is Believing. It's a giant picture of a beige metal blind that a sweating Jack Vitano is suspiciously peer ing through as Nicki Neary huddles in fear behind him. I love that film.

  Please tell me my name will be in size 60 Helvetica font on the top of Hutch's next poster! I promise if it is, I'll be nicer to everyone I know, including Sky.

  Mom is the first one through the conference room door. "See?" She chirps half a second later as she whips around to face Nadine. "No one's here yet." Nadine breaths a sigh of relief.

  Shaking slightly I walk i
nto the large room. It doesn't re semble the typical conference room setup, which is a long table lined with swivel chairs. This room has huge windows that overlook Wagman's rain-soaked backlot, several aged brown leather couches, plush green suede recliners, and a large plasma TV In front of each couch are mission-style oak coffee tables with binders stacked on them. I walk over to the nearest table and pick one up. Written in bright red ink on the front of the blinder is, "FOR YOUR EYES ONLY: The Untitled Hutch Adams Project." I sink into the nearest recliner and feel myself start to decompress. It's not like Hutch would leave something as top secret as the new ver sion of the script lying around if I wasn't still the star of the picture.

  "Did I give you permission to touch that?" A gruff voice demands. I spin around, dropping the binder loudly on the plush almond-colored carpeting.

  "GOT YA, Katie Bear," Drew Thomas, my movie costar, yells. I grimace at the familiar nickname. "Miss me?" Drew flashes his trademark ultra-white toothy grin with the confi dence of someone who's seen hundreds of girls melt like butter at the sight.

  "You almost gave me a heart attack!" I clutch my chest and Drew laughs even harder. He opens his arms wide and waits for me to hug him. I want to vomit. He's GOT to be kidding.

  Seeing Drew in the flesh makes me queasy. I knew this day would come, but I thought it would have happened a long time ago. Hutch didn't have the two of us screen test together, even though we're playing the romantic leads (I thought it was odd, but Laney said Hutch goes with his gut on casting, even if that means hiring someone, as she said, "much less famous" for my counterpart), and our table read isn't until Wednesday. That means today is the first time I've actually seen Drew since the night we broke up. Can I call it breaking up if we only went on half a dozen dates? It doesn't matter. Even if it was short-lived, the truth is, I fell hard.

  I had seen Drew from a distance at parties and read about his rising film career. He had a knack for picking small parts that stuck out, like a daredevil leukemia patient in Heart strings, but still hadn't found a role that gave him the fame he craved. But we didn't actually meet till Drew appeared on FA for a four-episode story arc last fall. He played Sam's hot Latino pizza delivery guy. I loved the episode when the two made waves because Sam showed up at the Summerville Hope Charity Ball with a seventeen-year-old high school dropout on her arm. Of course, this being FA, there was more than a class issue at stake. It turned out Ricky was quick with his fist and desperately in need of anger manage ment counseling. Ashamed, he wound up leaving Sum merville in the middle of the night without saying goodbye and writing Sam a letter about his unhappy childhood. It was Sam's first broken heart--and mine.

  "You didn't think we were exclusive, did you, Katie Bear?" I remember Drew asked when I found him sucking face with Lila Tompkin. Drew had just wrapped his last episode and we were supposed to celebrate the ten-day anniversary of our first kiss at a KISS-FM concert. I was running late from the FA set that night and told Drew I would meet him backstage.

  When I saw them liplocked, I walked right up to Drew and Lila without thinking. "How could you do this to me?" I stuttered naïvely, biting my lip to hold back the tears. "You said I was your world."

  "You were! You changed everything for me, Katie Bear," Drew said, giving my right hand a squeeze as his other hand rested on Lila's shoulder. "If I hadn't been seen around town with you, I never would have gotten an audition with Brett Ratner. That's where I met Lila," he added, motioning to the tall, Asian beauty who was beaming stupidly. "She's in his next project. Besides, my FA part is over now. It's time for me to move on." His nonchalance contrasted with my trem bling legs and dry as sandpaper mouth.

  "You used me," I realized aloud, feeling stupid as I thought about the dozens of roses he had sent to my film premiere that we attended together, the serenade he treated me to in front of a packed restaurant at Mr. Chow's, and the passionate kisses he always pulled me in for when he saw the waiting paparazzi. Come to think of it, we'd never really spent time together in private.

  "Katie Bear," he said. "This is Hollywood. You're supposed to use people. That's how you get places." Suddenly I noticed that his brown eyes weren't warm and soulful. They were glittering and calculating like a cobra.

  That's when I slugged him and ran out of the Staples Center without looking back (it was quite a hike, let me tell you, especially in Gucci stilettos). I had Rodney take me straight to Liz's so that I could sob on her shoulder and nurse my throbbing punching hand while we watched Legally Blonde, about another woman scorned. Like Elle, I swore to change things. But in my case, it wasn't about winning back my man; it was about avoiding the trap of others who might use me for my fame. I hadn't dated anyone else till Austin.

  I cringe at the sharp memories. Seeing Drew again is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I take a deep breath and ex hale slowly. Okay I'm a lot smarter and more confident now.

  "Good to see you, Drew," I say stiffly and give him a quick hug. But Drew holds on tight. When I manage to pull away I can't help but stare. I'll admit it, Drew is still impossibly gorgeous. That tanned complexion, the black hair, his tall, buff bod...it's no wonder Entertainment Nation dubbed him the Latin George Clooney.

  "You've missed me, I can tell," Drew coos. I snap out of my trance immediately. "I've missed you too. I never should have let you go, Katie Bear."

  PLAYER! I want to scream. You just want to hook up again to get more face time in US Weekly! Instead I look at Laney and she motions for me to sit down. She's already lectured me about being nice to Drew to avoid any publicity nightmares. Drew takes my silence as a good sign and plops down on the leather couch next to me.

  "Missed doesn't describe what I'm feeling," I hiss through gritted teeth. But before I can say anything else, the Coach satchel I bought at their charity dinner this spring begins to vibrate. I grab it and eagerly pull out the Sidekick.

  WOOKIESRULE: Guess who?

  My heart catches in my throat. That Star Wars screen name is pure Austin!

  Drew watches me curiously his deep brown eyes taking in my every move, and I smile nervously. "This will just take a second," I say ignoring the loud sigh from Mom, who never understood why I stopped seeing Drew. ("You're young. You should date lots of boys--and this boy should be one of them. He's going places, Katie-Kins.")

  PRINCESSLEIA25: Do I know U?

  WOOKIESRULE: BURKE! R U kidding me???

  PRINCESSLEIA25: LOL. U figured out how 2 work the Sidekick, huh Meyers?

  WOOKIESRULE: You're my first email. Like my screen name?

  PRINCESSLEIA25: Y.

  Drew clears his throat. "Sorry." I try not to smile. Austin has that effect on me.

  PRINCESSLEIA25: Got 2 go. Mtg starting. TTYL?

  WOOKIESRULE: Y. May the force B w/you.

  As I put the Sidekick safely back in my bag, Drew's team noisily enters the room and starts chatting with mine. I can hear Drew's publicist rattling off her clients' names to an unimpressed Laney. I look up in time to see Nadine leaving. (She doesn't sit in on my meetings.) She crosses her fingers before disappearing.

  "Making this movie should be fun, huh, Katie Bear?" Drew puts a hand on my knee. I quickly remove it. He reeks from musky cologne I don't recognize. He better not think he's wearing that stuff during our kissing scenes.

  "Definitely. But you know that's all we're doing, right, Drew? Making a movie?"

  "We were so good together," Drew protests. "How can you not want to try again?" I open my mouth to protest. "You can fight it all you want," Drew says with a wink. "That will just make my conquest more fun."

  "Fight it? Are you crazy?" I whisper hotly. I'm dying to spill the fact that I have a boyfriend, but I hold back. Austin isn't ready to face the wrath of a Hollywood party boy who will stop at nothing to get what he wants.

  For now, I have bigger things to worry about, like the fact that Hutch just walked in the conference room with a scowl planted on his face.

  Yep, I'm convinced: I'm about to be officially unempl
oyed.

  THrEE: Meet Cruella De Vlit

  While Hutch's partner Daniella is all smiles as she enters the meeting room, Hutch looks positively grim. He pushes his long, dirty brown hair off his face to reveal dark bags under his eyes.

  "Hello, stars," Hutch croaks as he takes a seat in the recliner next to Drew and me. He's wearing his classic uni form: a concert tee, faded denim jeans, and combat boots.

  "Hutch, my man," Drew says, shaking our director's hand gruffly. "I'm looking forward to our start date. It will be good to work with my girl again." Drew gives my arm a squeeze.

  "Did he just call me his girl?" I joke, trying to break the ice.

  Hutch barely cracks a smile at either of us. He just leans back in the chair and stares at me with a frown on his face. I'm even more worried seconds later when I get my first glimpse of Carol Ingram, who enters the room just as a bolt of lightning flashes across the window.

  The woman is practically a giant! Seriously, she must be around six one, because she towers over everyone. As she stomps towards Hutch, Drew, and me in her knee-high black boots, Carol stares down the rest of the room. Even Laney looks nervous. With a long, pale face, short black hair, and a tight scowl on her thin, bare lips, Carol reminds me of a cross between Cruella De Vil and a vampire. Yep, one thing is certain: Carol looks the part of one of the most pow erful women in Hollywood.

  "You must be Drew," she says, shaking his hand. "You're just as handsome in person as you are on the big screen, and that's saying something." Drew laughs a little too loudly. I give him credit for being wise enough not to crack a comeback.

  Next, Carol turns to me. "And Kaitlin. I've been dying to meet you," she says as she grabs my hand firmly and gives me a sly smile. I expect her teeth to be pointy. "You and I have a lot to talk about."

  As Carol brings the meeting to order, I can barely hear what she's saying over the loud thumping of my strained heart and the rain hitting the roof of our two-story building.