by Jen Calonita
"I'll get it!" Hayley yells as she races from the dining room to the front door. She whips the screen door open. "Drew Thomas!" she practically chokes.
DREW???
"Hey, cutie," Drew steps into the doorway wearing a black suit, black shirt, and no tie. His dark hair looks wind blown.
"You're not Rodney!" I say accusingly. It was the first thing that came to mind.
Drew's smile turns to confusion as Austin appears. "No, he's meeting us there." Drew stares at his competition. "Carol told me to pick you up here."
"Carol? How did Carol know where I was?" I can hear myself growing hysterical.
Drew looks at me oddly. "Madison told her."
"WHAT?" Wait a minute. How did Madison get her hands on my schedule? I can only imagine how bad this must look to Austin's family. I'm being picked up at his house by another guy. Wait till I get my hands on Madison. And Sky. Sky is def initely behind this and I'm going to finally kill her.
"Can I have your autograph?" Hayley asks eagerly.
"Do you have a pen and paper, sweetie?" Drew asks.
"Nope. We're all out." Austin glares at Drew and just then Mr. and Mrs. Meyers appear in the doorway.
"Oh more company," Mrs. Meyers says in surprise.
"Have another date, Kaitlin?" Mr. Meyers asks with not a hint of jokiness in his voice. Gulp.
"I need ten minutes," I tell Drew, shoving him backwards out the door. "I'll meet you in the car."
"But we're going to be late," I hear him protest as I slam the front door shut behind me. I turn around and face the mob.
"Drew is not supposed to be here," I explain quickly. "Rodney, that's my driver," I tell the Meyers, "was supposed to pick me up."
"To meet Drew?" Austin interrupts. "I thought you were going solo."
"Uh, Hayley, let's give your brother a moment," Mrs. Mey ers says hurriedly and steers her daughter and Mr. Meyers away. Mr. Meyers looks back at me skeptically.
"No, they insisted the two of us go together since we're the stars of Hutch's new movie," I blurt out. "I didn't want you to get upset. It's not like I want to go with him. It's just work." Outside, I hear the horn honk. What the...? Rodney wouldn't honk at me. UGH! But Drew would.
"Your date is waiting." Austin opens the door.
Someone lays on the horn again and holds it. I have to go. Carol will freak if we're late for the red carpet. "I'll call you later," I whisper. "Thanks for dinner, Mrs. Meyers," I yell back into the house.
"You're welcome, Kaitlin," I hear her say. I'm not sure how to interpret her tone.
I lean over to give Austin a kiss goodbye and he offers me his cheek. I fight the urge to cry. I don't know what to say in thirty seconds that can change the awkward end to the evening. I turn carefully around in my three-inch heels and teeter down Austin's front steps.
nIne: The Antarctica Premiere
When I reach the bottom of Austin's steps, I notice the car idling at the curb. It's an Escalade instead of a Lincoln. That's definitely not my ride! I open the back door and prepare for a fight.
"It wasn't me honking, Ms. Burke," the gray-haired driver says, nervously looking at Drew.
"What the hell is going on?" I ask the two of them angrily. "Where's Rodney?"
"Hi, Kaitlin." I hear a voice say. "This is Ashley, Carol's as sistant."
"Hi, Ash." Drew grins. He points to the car phone.
"Sorry for the change of plans, Kaitlin," Ashley says, though she doesn't sound apologetic. "Carol felt it would be better if you and Drew arrived together. Madison graciously told us where to find you."
"Did anyone alert my team?" I ask tartly. "My bodyguard Rodney was supposed to meet me here. He attends all my events."
"Someone will be meeting him at your pickup location shortly to let him know about the switch," Ashley reports. "He'll meet you at the premiere."
Carol tricked us! Laney is going to FLIP OUT I break out my Sidekick and begin to type as Ashley continues to talk.
"Make sure you pose for a lot of pictures and talk about what a great experience filming with Hutch has been," Ash ley is saying. "The premiere party will be at the club LAX. We'd like the two of you to go together and take photos with Hutch. Any questions?"
"Nope," Drew answers for us both. I bite my lip to keep from screaming.
"Great. Then I have some good news Carol wanted me to share," Ashley says as the driver cruises towards West Holly wood. "The two of you have been asked to cohost the Teen Titan Awards."
"Get out? Are you serious?" Drew hollers. "That's awe some!"
Even though I'm enraged, I stop pounding out a text mes sage to Laney and look up. I have to admit, that is pretty cool. I've never hosted an awards show before and the Teen Titan Awards are one of the most fun. Voting is done by real teens. I love their trophies: a beefy bronzed god or goddess hold ing a dumbbell.
Austin would have a blast at the Teen Titan Awards. But I guess he has to be speaking to me for me to ask him to be my date.
"Your publicists will fill you in tomorrow when they get details from Carol," Ashley says. "Have a good night." We hear a dial tone.
"Did I tell you we'd do great things together or what?" Drew says excitedly. He slides closer. "People love our chem istry! Why else would they ask us to cohost the Teen Titan Awards?" Before I can answer, my phone rings on cue.
"WHERE ARE YOU? RODNEY IS IN FRONT OF AUSTIN'S HOUSE WAITING FOR YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SAID YOU LEFT ALREADY!" I fill Laney in.
"THAT LYING SON OF A..." Whoa. "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WOULD PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS WHEN I SAID YOU WERE ONLY GOING IF YOU AR RIVED SOLO!"
I feel nauseous.
"I bet they didn't even call Nadine!" Laney is saying. "What I want to know is how Sky's assistant got ahold of your schedule."
"You and me both," I wonder aloud.
"I've got to get to the bottom of this." I hear a dial tone.
"Did you know no one called my publicist and told her you were picking me up?" I ask Drew accusingly.
Drew shakes his head. He actually looks honest for a change, though he's so slippery it's hard to be sure. "You're with me now. They should be thrilled. The studio is."
"I don't care what the studio thinks," I snap, getting more agitated by the minute. Austin looked so upset and I can't even call him with Drew here.
"I get it. You're mad because I caused a fight with Arnold," he says. "What are you doing with that guy anyway? Sky told me he's in high school." Drew shudders. "You need someone who understands our lives. Arnold can't." He moves a hand onto my bare knee.
"HIS NAME IS AUSTIN!" I yell so loud the driver slams on the brakes. Thankfully we're in front of the theater. "Let's get this over with," I say opening the door myself. The flash of lights is blinding, but I drag Drew away from the waiting paparazzi over to the press line. With a smile on my face the entire time, I answer every question they ask and try to keep Drew on track. ("Come on, Kates," Drew said in front of one reporter. "You can admit it. It's great to be together again." I quietly stepped on Drew's foot, digging my stiletto into his toes, and said, "It is onscreen.")
But once the press line is over and Drew and I are sitting in the packed-to-capacity theater's velvet-lined seats, I can't concentrate on anything but Austin. It's too risky to call him now and have a reporter overhear me sobbing my apologies into the phone, and I can't dis Hutch, who is sitting behind us, by getting up and leaving. So I sit there in silence, paying no attention to the heart-pounding thriller on screen--though the dramatic music does match my mood. I just want to go home.
"That movie was awesome," Drew says two hours later as we're dropped off at LAX, where Antarctica is having its pre miere party. "And it didn't have a tenth of the special effects we do. Our film is going to rock." Drew attempts to take my hand as we get out of the car, and I slap it away for about the nine hundredth time tonight.
"And wait till the sequel!" he adds, ignoring my foul mood. "We're going to pull in such big bucks they'll have to pay us
triple to do the next one."
I don't have a clue what Antarctica was like, since I was thinking about Austin the entire time, but still, I wish I had his confidence. Constant rewrites, fighting on set, reports about the rising budget cost in EW...it's not looking good.
Drew flashes me the thousand-watt smile that makes fans faint. "Don't worry, Katie Bear. I wouldn't sign on with out you. I could always cool my heels on Family Affair till the next movie. You guys need some new blood on that show. You're getting stale."
"NAME," a beefy bouncer in a skintight black tee barks as we approach the doors to the club.
"Drew Thomas and Kaitlin Burke," Drew announces im portantly.
The bouncer scans the long list attached to his clipboard, then looks up at me and squints menacingly. "You're in. She's not," he says gruffly "Her name is not on here."
"That's impossible," Drew sputters as he waves over a nearby flack from Wagman. "Don't you know who she is? She's Kaitlin Burke! The star of Family Affair. My costar in Hutch Adams's new movie."
"Isn't Sky Mackenzie the star of Family Affair?" The bald bouncer asks with a slick smile, and that's when I notice his gold front tooth.
I forgot where we were! LAX is Sky's turf since her pal DJ Arachnid spins here. She must have had me banned. On any other night, I'd be pissed, but tonight Sky's doing me a favor. "No problem," I say happily, turning to leave. It's only 10:15. If I hurry, I can call Rodney (I stupidly told him to take the night off after the pickup mixup) and call Austin before he falls asleep.
A young woman from Wagman wearing a headset rushes to my side. "Kaitlin, we're SO sorry. She should be on the list. Let her in immediately," she snaps at the bouncer, flash ing her Wagman VIP pass. The guy sighs and holds open the door.
A flood of lights blinds us as we walk into the airport-themed dance space. There are mirrors shaped like airplane windows, an orb-shaped jellyfish tank behind the brightly lit bar, and a metal hangar door leading to an outdoor patio.
As I take in the scene, something hits me in the head. I whirl around, but there's no one there. When I look down on the floor, I see a lone goldfish cracker. Weird. Ping! An other cracker smacks my forehead. It's so dark I can't see who's throwing them. Stay calm, Kaitlin. Just do one lap at the party and go home.
Drew twirls a lock of my hair around his finger as he leans his head close to mine. I turn my face away. "Stop thinking about that jerk bouncer. You're a star. Especially in my eyes," he whispers, blowing hot air in my ear. "Stop fight ing it, Katie Bear, and let's get back together. I know we can work this time. I'm different now." As he strokes my hair, we both get hit by a school of flying goldfish crackers. "What the...?"
"Well, don't you two look cozy," Sky says as she makes a perfectly timed entrance. She's wearing a green and white tie-dyed dress that gathers at the waist with a large silver clip. "I wonder what your little boyfriend would think if he could see you now."
"Speaking of boyfriends, where is Trevor?" I retort, raising a question I've been curious to ask for a while. I've felt a sisterly concern for hot but naïve Trevor ever since he joined FA. "Did you dump him already?"
"He went back to Idaho for the summer." Sky rolls her eyes. "He was homesick. I told him I don't do long distance. Trevvie was upset, but if he misses me, he can try to win me back with some expensive jewelry in the fall."
"Nice move," Drew says admiringly. I step away from both of them in disgust. That's when I see what Sky has in her hand. It's a glass bowl of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish.
"Did you throw those at me?" I ask angrily.
"I might have slipped," she says with a slithery grin. She picks up another one and aims it at my face. "Oops!"
Why does Sky have to act like a fifth grader? That's it. I pull out my cell phone and speed-dial Rodney. "Pick me up at LAX now!" I bark, and hang up, prepared to end this non sense with Drew and Sky once and for all before I go.
"You need to back off," I say shakily to Sky. "Stop trying to make my life miserable just because you're miserable playing a smaller role than me." Sky's eyes flare. "Oh, and if your assis tant messes with my schedule again, I'm going to get her fired," I warn.
But instead of being intimidated, Sky gives me a sick smile.
I whirl around to Drew.
"Let's get something clear: You and I have no chance to gether," I hiss. "We're costars. Nothing more. Let's do the press we have to do, shoot our scenes, and avoid each other off-camera."
"Katie Bear," Drew coos, reaching for my arm. "Don't fight this." Ping. Another goldfish whizzes past my nose. I push Drew away.
"LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF YOU LYING SCHEMERS WHEN WE'RE NOT WORKING!" I snap. My chest rises and falls rapidly and it takes me a second to realize the music's stopped and half a dozen people nearby have heard me yell. A flashbulb goes off in my face, which is definitely bright red. Oh God. What have I done?
"If that's the way you want it, fine," Drew whispers, look ing mortified. If there's one thing Drew can't stand, it's bad press. "You don't know what a mistake you just made," he adds, eying the crowd, which is lit up by repeated flashes.
HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER NINE: If you want a successful working relationship with your ex, don't do what I just did. Sure, making out with an ex-flame onscreen is awkward, but if it's in your job description, you've got to do it grace fully and with as few flare-ups as possible. Don't push the writers to rework your scenes together--that could cause one of you to get axed. The proper way to work with an ex is simple: keep your mouth shut, talk to each other only dur ing takes, avoid each other off-screen. If that doesn't keep you calm, just think about the hefty paycheck you'll collect when all this is over.
Even if you're not axed, your ex can still make your life miserable--like I can immediately tell mine will. As my heart pounds and I take a seat at an empty table to wait for Rodney, my two enemies join forces. Across the dance floor, standing underneath a fake palm tree, I see Sky stroking Drew's arm as she whispers in his ear. He seems completely wrapped up in what she's saying because the next thing I know, Drew takes Sky by the hand, gives me one last cold look, and they exit the party together. I'm sure they're off to Sky's limo to plot their next move, which can only mean one thing for me: I'm in deep trouble.
FRIDAY 6/29
NOTE TO SELF:
Call Hayley to find out perfect "I'm sorry" gift for A.
Call Laney again--warn her about public freak-out. Dodamage control.
Schedule extra session w/Paulo to blow off steam.
THE UNTITLED HUTCH ADAMS PROJECT
SCRIPT CONTINUED:
138 EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
CAMERA PANS the scenery - heavy rainstorm, abandoned gas station. Both Carly and Donovan are wet and scared.
CARLY
We've got to keep moving. Are you okay?
DONOVAN
I don't know. I really don't know. Why would those guys want to run us off the road?
CARLY
They want us dead, Don. I'm convinced it has something to do with what Mrs. Murphy caught us reading on her computer You didn't see the rest of that e-mail. It said our class was being groomed to take over the human race. Like Nazis! They've been lying to us.
DONOVAN
You're crazy!
CARLY
Think about it. Those shots she was giving Todd. He threw that desk like the Hulk on speed! They've been drugging us. Our food. Our water. The training. They're breeding us to become superhuman robots.
DONOVAN
But our parents...the school...they would never allow it.
CARLY
Unless the school was in on it. They could have given our parents some bull about how all this would help us excel. But when Mrs. Murphy's minions realized we were on to them, they decided to do away with us.
DONOVAN
Which is why they sent those guys. Do you think Regina knows? She didn't act surprised when we told her about the experiments.
CARLY
DONOVAN
Carly, you told Regina where we were! How else would those goons be able to show up so quickly? Regina is work ing for Mrs. Murphy.
Carly shakes her head defiantly, but she stops when she hears the sound of branches snapping.
CARLY
Shh Did you hear that? Someone's coming! RUN!
Ten: Trailer Talk
"Nadine? Liz? Is that you guys?" I yell as my trailer door opens. The two of them had run out to do errands while I was sulking in front of the TV in full makeup and wardrobe (a bloody tee and grass-stained jeans) watching a Gilmore Girls rerun. I'm waiting to be called to the set to shoot a tense scene with Drew. It shouldn't be hard to act ticked off--he hasn't spoken one word to me since my blowup at LAX.
I can't tell if Drew and Sky actually like each other (if those two start dating, it's a sign of the apocalypse for sure) or are just united in their quest to destroy me. Either way watching Drew and Sky laughing and kissing up to Hutch is unbearable. So instead of sitting on set watching the scene before mine from my comfy director's chair (yes, stars really have those), I'm hiding in my trailer, miserable and cranky. It doesn't help that Mom and Laney just blasted me over this article they had Nadine deliver. This is from the new issue of Hollywood Nation:
KAITLIN AND SKY--The War Rages! Meow! As the second month of shooting begins on the set of Hutch Adams's new flick, the Family Affair stars are crackling more than fireworks on the fourth of July! "The bad blood is getting worse," a source tells In the Know. The feud between KAITLIN BURKE and SKY MACKENZIE reached a high at the Antarctica premiere. Kaitlin arrived with costar and former flame Drew Thomas at the premiere party at LAX and was tossed out in the cold. "LAX is Sky's turf," sniffed one pal. After Kaitlin finally got inside, things got uglier when witnesses say Sky pelted goldfish crackers at her. An onlooker tells In the Know, "Kaitlin lost it and began screaming. She told Drew and Sky she wants nothing to do with either of them." Drew and Sky were re portedly mortified by the public shaming and vowed to get even. "Drew wants Kaitlin, but he knows hanging out with her archenemy will make her jealous," says a set source. And since Sky broke up with FA costar Trevor Wainright, she's been on the prowl. "Sky thinks Drew is a great catch and can't stand seeing him waste his time on Kaitlin," adds the source. Let's hope the three of them simmer down. There's over a month of shooting left on the Adams film. Production on the new season of Family Affair begins in August.