Secrets of My Hollywood Life #2: On Location

by Jen Calonita

  "Agreed," Liz says. "And besides, I think I've found a great job--Daniella said I could work at their production office after school."

  "That's awesome, Lizzie," I begin to congratulate, but I'm interrupted by Rodney bursting through our door. What's with the surprises today? Rodney is sweating and out of breath and Nadine rushes to our mini-fridge and breaks out a Vitamin Water. He takes it gratefully and swigs it.

  "You're missing the fireworks," Rodney says between deep breaths. Rod's still in his climax scene costume: a black suit, black button-down shirt, and shiny black shoes with a fake bullet wound in his chest and blood painted down his face.

  "We know about Madison," I tell him.

  Rodney shakes his head vigorously. "This isn't about Madison," he pants, crushing the empty plastic water bottle. "It's about Carol Ingram. Hutch just found out that Carol is the one who put the script pages on the Internet."

  "What?" Nadine screeches. "But I thought that was Carol calling to fire Madison," Liz says, looking confused. "Daniella said, 'Tell Kaitlin Madison is toast.'"

  Rodney shrugs. "Maybe Daniella didn't feel comfortable discussing Carol with you. The two of them were furious. Hutch was screaming into the phone and throwing lights around the set and I asked Hank what was going on and he told me. Since the coffee scene is the one fans have been sali vating over, Carol's office thought it would be a great way to whet the public's appetite. She didn't ask for permission from anyone before she did it. Someone at Wagman got an anonymous tip about the leak. Apparently the Internet geek Carol gave the pages to ratted her out. Wagman just pulled her from the movie!" Rodney doesn't usually care much about gossip, but he's practically jumping up and down over this news. "I've got to get back to set to find out more."

  "Could this day get any better?" Liz asks gleefully as Rod ney races out.

  "Wait a minute." I bite my lip, tasting the sweet fake blood I forgot was painted on. "Carol's really gone?"

  "Kates, do you know what this means?" Liz squeals. "You can take Austin to the awards!" She claps her hands.

  I sink into the tan leather couch and close my eyes in pain. "It's too late," I whisper. "Austin and I broke up, remember?"

  Neither Liz or Nadine says anything.

  "I found the magazine you guys hid, by the way," I add.

  "What are you talking about?" Liz says in the high voice she uses whenever she's lying.

  I open my eyes. "The new issue of Hollywood Nation. I found it hidden under the kitchen sink when I was looking for Oreos. I know Mina Burrows and her boyfriend broke up too."

  "I knew she'd look there!" Nadine nudges Liz. "She always binges on Double Stuff Oreos when she's depressed."

  "I do not!" I protest. "And I'm not depressed either." My eyes brim with tears. "I'm just in mourning."

  "If Austin means that much to you, you should fight for him," Liz states, flopping down next to me. Nadine rum mages through one of the cabinets and finds more hidden Oreos. She sits down on the other side of me and offers each of us a cookie.

  "It's no use," I mumble between bites. "What am I going to say? 'You were right, Austin. My life is too complicated for a boyfriend? '" I take another bite. "Between my commitment to FA, movies, press, Fever, there's no time anyway. Look at Mina Burrows," I moan. "They broke up because they never saw each other. It's the curse of being in this business." I break another Oreo in two and lick the cream. "Maybe I had the Hollywood dating rules backwards. Maybe I should be dating other actors. At least they're used to seeing their girl friends once a month." I crunch angrily on my cookie.

  "All couples have to work at their relationship," Liz offers. "Look at me and Josh--he decided to backpack through France this month with his brother. We're not seeing each other for four whole weeks so we've been texting and call ing every day. Nothing is ever easy, Kates. You have to try harder."

  Nadine offers me the Oreo package. "Can I be honest?" she asks quietly. "I don't think Austin not being in the busi ness was the problem." Nadine pauses. "I think the problem is that you were afraid to let him in."

  "What do you mean?" I ask.

  "You've always had to be careful with who you trusted, we know that," Nadine points out. "Look at what gets printed about you in the tabloids! But if you're not honest with the guys you date, then you're not going to make any relation ship work, including one with Austin. I know you probably think I'm the last one who should be giving relationship ad vice," adds Nadine with a grin.

  Nadine is a casual dater. She doesn't want to settle down until she's at least forty because she hates the idea of a husband and kids slowing her down, like it has many of her friends from her hometown.

  "But if a serious relationship is what you want, then you can't be so closed off," Nadine explains.

  "I told Austin plenty of stuff," I protest.

  "You didn't tell him about Drew's or Carol's demands," Liz reminds me gently. "I know those things are hard to talk about for you, but Austin's a good guy. He would have listened."

  "I screwed up." I choke up. "When Austin and I started dating, he told me the one thing he needed from me was honesty" I can't cry. I have to be back on set soon to shoot. "And I couldn't give him that."

  "Kates," Liz begins, but I stand up.

  "It's too late," I say as firmly as I can. "I've put him through the wringer and he doesn't deserve it. I'm not going after Austin. I've got to let him go."

  "Kaitlin, you're crazy!" Nadine is clearly shocked. "At least talk to him. He may give you another chance."

  I look at my face in the dresser mirror. It's puffy again, like it has been for days. I use my finger to remove the smudged mascara under my eyes. I'll have our makeup artist fix the rest. "Case closed, you guys," I say firmly. "It's over, okay? Can we please talk about something else?"

  Nadine's phone rings. "It's Laney," she says, looking at the caller I.D. "I have to take this. I don't know if she's heard about Carol yet."

  Saved. "I have to get back to the set anyway."

  "Kaitlin," Liz tries again.

  "I'll see you later," I promise, rushing out the door and banging right into Hank.

  "Hold up, Kaitlin," Hank says. "We're delaying the next shot for another hour. Between the news Hutch just got and what's been going on with Sky..."

  "You mean Madison being fired?" I ask. "She must be really mad."

  "Mad isn't the word." Hank massages his right shoulder as he talks. "When Sky found out Madison was fired, she started screaming. We could hear things smashing against the walls in her dressing room." I nod. I can imagine the scene. "They had to call security to calm her down, only se curity was busy escorting Madison from the set. Hutch went in there to talk to her and the two had words. It wasn't pretty. Hutch said he regretted hiring Sky for this project."

  I've heard that line before. Normally, hearing Sky's ego get taken down a notch would make me happy, but right now I'm too depressed to care.

  "Hang here and I'll call you when we're ready to start," Hank adds over his shoulder as he hurries back to his idling golf cart.

  I nod sadly. Suddenly I feel very tired. I can't handle talk ing to Nadine and Liz about Austin anymore. Instead, I slump down on the cold cement outside my dressing room and do what I've been doing best the past few days--cry my eyes out.

  TUESDAY 8/7

  NOTE TO SELF:

  Last day of filming: 8/9

  Buy Hutch, Daniella, presents 4 wrap party on 8/10

  FA start date: Aug. 21

  **Ask Sethi when he's sending over the first script!

  sevenTeen: That's a Wrap

  "If you two aren't downstairs in ten minutes, I'm leaving without you!" I yell in exasperation. There's no answer.

  "I mean it!" I threaten. "Don't make me drag you down here!" My voice echoes in the two-story foyer of our house, where I'm parked with my Tod purse, keys in hand.

  "Wow, you sound like your mom," Liz laughs. She and I are the only ones ready to leave for The Untitled Hutch Adams Project wrap part
y. It took Liz and me exactly twenty minutes to get dressed. We're wearing Earl jeans, borrowed from Mom's expanding collection (she'll never know they're missing--she and Dad are in Palm Springs for a little R&R), and similar black sparkly tanks. Liz has accessorized her en semble with a sequined black beret that covers most of her dark curly tresses. My hair is pulled back in a simple high ponytail.

  "RODNEY! MATT! DO YOU HEAR ME?" I try again. This is the first time the two of them are attending a film wrap as actors--rather than bodyguards or a plus one--and they're acting like two tween girls before a Jesse Mc Cartney concert.

  Instead of the boys, it's Nadine who comes running. "Oh, it's you," she says with surprise. "I thought your mom came home early" Liz chuckles again and I squint at her menac ingly.

  "Are you ready to go?" I ask Nadine. She's been on an ur gent phone call with Laney for the last twenty minutes, but she looks party-ready in a vintage Beatles t-shirt and jeans. An ebony barrette is pinning back the bangs of her smooth red hair. "You can drive and Rodney and Matt will meet us there." I tap my spiky black leather heels impatiently. I put my hand on the doorknob, but Nadine stops me from turn ing the handle.

  "Hold up, Oscar the Grouch," she says with a smile. "What's the rush? I would think you'd be the last person who'd want to celebrate with the cast."

  "I want to get there so that I can stay ten minutes and run home to my box of Oreos and my Notting Hill DVD," I whine.

  Liz groans. "You're watching that again? That's like the eighth time this week! Would you please call Austin and put us out of our misery?"

  "Thanks a lot," I retort. "And no, I can't call him. I told you. He deserves to be happy"

  "And we don't?" Liz mutters.

  "RODNEY! MATT!" I holler again. "WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?"

  "We'll be down in a minute!" Matt yells. "We're trying to find the right scent for the occasion." There's a crash upstairs as if he's dumped the contents of an entire drawer onto the floor.

  "While we're waiting, Laney wants to talk to you," Nadine tells me. She walks over to the hall phone and presses the speaker button. "Okay Laney go."

  "HAPPY WRAP PARTY!" Laney screams cheerfully.

  "Gee, Laney, you're in a good mood," I notice.

  "WHY SHOULDN'T I BE? THE WITCH IS DEAD!"

  "Which witch? Carol, Sky, or Madison? Wait. You don't mean that literally, do you?" Liz asks in alarm.

  "I MEAN CAROLS FINISHED. FINITO SHE'S OUT OF THE HOLLYWOOD INNER CIRCLE. NOT ONLY HAS SHE BEEN TAKEN OFF THE MOVIE, WAGMAN HAS ALSO TERMINATED HER CONTRACT WITH THE STU DIO. SHE WON'T WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN." Laney sounds practically giddy I can hear street traffic through the speaker. "CAROL NEVER UNDERSTOOD BOUNDARIES. THAT'S WHY I LEFT HER FIRM IN THE FIRST PLACE. SHE WAS ALWAYS TOO AGGRESSIVE WITH HER PUB LICITY MOVES. YOU CAN'T ACT LIKE GOD WITH YOUR CLIENTS...I'M TALKING HERE, BUDDY! DON'T TELL ME TO USE A HEADSET! I HATE HEADSETS!"

  "Is that so, Laney?" Nadine winks at me.

  "Laney, you never told us what happened between you two," I realize.

  "SHE RUINED MY CLIENT STEVEN SUMMERS'S TOP SECRET WEDDING," Laney reveals. "SHE TIPPED OFF THE PAPARAZZI AND THEY WERE STAKED OUT AT STEVIE'S HOME BY LAND, SEA, AND AIR. CAROL THOUGHT WE'D GET MORE PRESS FOR STEVIE'S LATEST LEGAL THRILLER IF HIS WEDDING WAS ALL OVER THE PAPERS. WHEN SHE TOLD ME WHAT SHE DID, I QUIT"

  "That's so admirable, Laney," I offer.

  "I HAVE MY LIMITS, KAITLIN," Laney sniffs.

  Nadine and I look at each other and grin.

  "NADINE TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND," Laney adds, sounding almost caring as she lays on her car horn. "STAY IN YOUR LANE! I'M SORRY, KAITLIN."

  I feel a lump form in my throat and the tears start to flow. Nadine sees my face and quickly rushes Laney off the phone.

  Why does breaking up have to be so painful? The nastiest gossip item or most abusive session with Hutch doesn't hurt half as much. I wonder...Does Austin feel this miser able even though he's the one who did the breaking off? Does he miss me like I miss him?

  Rodney and Matty strolling down the stairs saves me from a full-blown weeping session. The two are blinged out in shiny gold watches and rope chains around their necks and reek of a mix of colognes, but I have to admit they both look adorable. Rodney is in a button-down black pinstripe shirt with black dress pants, while Matty is wearing a navy silk shirt with gray chinos. The sight of them makes me smile. "Are you two finally ready?" I ask, wiping my eyes.

  Rodney nods. "Do you think this shirt makes me look fat?" He models his large frame in the oversized gold mirror that hangs above the glass table.

  "Would I steer you wrong, Rod-o?" Matt asks as he pushes Rodney out of the way to look at himself.

  "You're a knockout, big guy," Nadine assures him.

  Forty-five minutes later, Rodney is handing the valet the keys to the Lincoln and we're stepping out onto the long winding driveway of Hutch's palatial Malibu pad, which overlooks the Pacific. The front of the brightly lit, sprawling Spanish-style pink house is overflowing with people to the invitation-only event (I spotted some crashers being escorted off the premises by security on the drive up) even though the bulk of the party is being thrown in the four-acre back yard. As we walk onto the patio I can see a large screen play ing a gag reel from filming; tiki torches illuminating the kidney-shaped pool, which some fully dressed partygoers are swimming in; a lavish buffet table; a DJ booth; and if I'm not mistaken, the All-American Rejects rocking out on the stone patio. A dozen waiters, wearing the black superhu man suits from the film, are passing out hors d'oeuvres and shotglasses with fluorescent blue drinks that look like the superhuman shake the baddies drank. The five of us find a vacant table next to the pool. As I go to sit down, Nadine stops me.

  "Why don't you get the hard part over first?" Nadine sug gests. "Find Drew and Sky so you can give Hutch his gift, thank Hutch for the opportunity to work with him, and race back to the table to hang with us." The four of them smile encouragingly while Liz pushes me away from a waiter holding mini mozzarella-and-tomato kabobs.

  Sky it turns out, is not far off. In fact, she's standing right in front of the projection screen throwing a tantrum in a red Chloe slip dress and super-high heels. Her bodyguard is trying unsuccessfully to calm her down.

  "I DON'T CARE IF EVERYONE IS ON THE BLOOPER REEL!" she barks at a dude who looks remarkably like Rod ney. "I DON'T LIKE BEING MADE FUN OF!"

  As fate would have it, a Sky gag appears onscreen at that exact moment. It's one of Sky muffing her lines. At the end of the clip, she screeches, "I suck!" Revelers around me are laughing, as they have for all the scenes I've witnessed, in cluding ones with me (like when I accidentally fell back wards out of a fake window, taking the wall down with me). Sky does not share their amusement.

  "TELL THEM IF THEY DON'T SHUT THIS OFF RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT D-JING TONIGHT!" she yells, shaking her bottle-blond hair side to side as her bodyguard drags her away.

  "That girl is mental," I hear someone behind me say. I turn around and see it's Drew. He's wearing jeans and a tight zip-up black sweater that shows off the result of weeks of running, jumping, and swordplay.

  "Are you talking to me?" I ask coldly, surprised Drew isn't copping an attitude.

  I notice Drew's gotten a buzz cut since we had Teen Titan rehearsals yesterday. "Chill, Katie Bear," he says, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "I actually came over to apologize."

  I eye him suspiciously.

  "You rejected me," he explains, "and I was insulted so I took Sky up on her offer to make your life hell." I push his arm off me. "But I didn't realize how insane that chick was!" Drew runs a hand through his short hair. "Leaking stories to the tabs, throwing tantrums on set...I started getting bad press from hanging with her." I don't say anything. "I know it was a lame move," Drew admits. "But cut a guy a break. It takes a big man to admit his jealousy you know."

  I can't help but laugh at Drew's horrendously bloated ego. It's almost funny to me now. This is who Drew is, and I see that now. What's happened b
etween us is ancient history and surprisingly doesn't hurt so much anymore.

  "I miss that laugh, you know," Drew says, stepping towards me again.

  I groan and put my arm out to block him. "Please Drew, I might not have a boyfriend anymore, but that ship has sailed. Why don't you try being single for a few weeks and hook up with someone much hotter on your next project?" I read in Variety that Drew starts filming the thriller Kingdom Come this September.

  There must be something compelling about my sugges tion because Drew actually backs off. "Let's just find Hutch and get our parting gift over with," he suggests. "I doubt Sky will be back in time to join us." Drew offers me his arm. I roll my eyes jokingly and link with his for the short walk. As we pass by the screen shows another clip of Sky. She's spit ting into her hand and rubbing it on Matty's face, who looks like he might gag.

  We find Hutch in his cabana, holding court with a num ber of admirers as he lounges on a wicker chaise. He's dressed up for a change, in a white linen shirt, dark jeans, and Birkenstocks. When he sees Drew and me, he stops puffing on the cigar he's smoking and yells, "MY TWO FAVORITE ACTORS!"

  I eye the martini spilling out of his hand as Hutch stands up and opens his arms wide to give the two of us a group hug.

  "Are you guys having fun? This is a fab party, isn't it?" He hiccups. His eyes are brighter than I remember and the bags are gone. His hair is pulled back neatly in a ponytail, the goatee is gone and is that--no it can't be--a smile on his face? "You two did a stupendous job. Stupendous! Didn't they?" Hutch says to us and to the group around him. I spot Daniella among them and flash her a smile.

  "Kaitlin, Drew, be honest." Hank asks as he swishes his vodka tonic. "Isn't this man much nicer when he's not sitting behind the camera?" The comment elicits a roar from the peanut gallery. Hank's right, so I don't answer.

  "It's true," Hutch chuckles, squeezing Drew and me tightly. "As soon as I'm done with principal photography my attitude completely changes!"