Collapse: The Tale of Waking Marissa

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by Jessica L. Gaffney


  The lesson continued, though she mastered it rather quickly. When she came down with no trouble, they did it again.

  “You did it, Miss. You’re getting the hang of it.”

  She soaked in the moment as the sun beat down on them. “I hope my Dad saw that. It was incredible.”

  “Want to do it again?”

  She caught her breath. “Yes. But let’s stick to the bunny bump.”

  After a few more rides, Marissa was ready to quit. But not before she got off the bunny hill. Hawke took her to a green trail he’d been on before and assured her if they took their time, she could do it.

  She agreed, but she still had butterflies. They made it around the sloped curve and onto a busier trail. The riders zoomed in and out, almost cutting each other off; at least that’s how Marissa saw it. She steadied herself, held her breath and became rigid.

  “Miss, it’s okay. Just relax.” He shimmied up behind her. “I’m right here.”

  Marissa swallowed as she followed her teacher down the run. Hawke trailed behind her so he could tell her what to do. “You’re doing great Miss, just keep your focus.”

  She kept her eyes on his long legs and the way the sun tanned his face. “Start turning -- you’re going a little fast.”

  She nodded but kept heading down. “Miss, you need to turn. Raise your shoulder.”

  Her speed was gaining.

  “Hawke!”

  A skier jumped in front of her and she bailed to the side.

  Hawke dug in the board, and rushed up the hill. “Marissa, are you all right?”

  He pulled her out of the embankment. “Are you okay? Is anything broken?”

  “No, but I’m getting cold.”

  “All right. Let’s get you inside to warm up a bit.”

  She wanted to stay in the snow and make the most of it. At least here no one would see them if he decided to kiss her. But she nodded and let him pull her up. Inside together was better than outside and freezing.

  ~~~

  Red-nosed and all, the two lovebirds arrived outside the cafeteria welcoming a blast of warm air. Surprised that her cheeks didn’t hurt from grinning so much, Marissa lingered behind her man, her arms wrapped around his waist.

  Hawke scooted her to the front. “I love the hugs, but come up here where I can see you.”

  Her eyes locked onto the hot pizza being pulled from the oven. “That looks appetizing.”

  “You want it?”

  She raised her eye brow, “Yeah.”

  He shrugged and told the attendant they wanted to buy the whole pie.

  Marissa was giddy. “Oh my God, are you sure?”

  “I can eat. You just wait and see.”

  Together they balanced one tray with the pizza and a second with drinks, a lava brownie and napkins, along with plates and other essentials.

  Marissa bit into her pizza, the cheese burning her lips. “Yum.”

  Hawke laughed. “You should try Anthony’s back home.”

  “Oh God, I love that place. My Mom orders from there every weekend.”

  “Then I’m coming to your house.” She thought about it, right then. In the middle of the crowded cafeteria, reality had crept in. The weekend was over tomorrow. Her blissful state was going to end. How did she expect to see Hawke and explain things to her mother?

  “Missy, what’s wrong?”

  She blinked. “I’m sorry, did I space out?”

  He nodded with a cute expression of concern. “Just for a second or two.”

  “Is something on your mind?”

  She had more questions and hoped he didn’t mind her asking. “I was wondering how I’m gonna explain us to my mother.”

  Hawke put both hands on the table. “Well, I planned on asking you out for this Friday. How about I meet her then?”

  Marissa felt the blood drain from her face. “What if she recognizes you from the newspaper?”

  He looked a bit agitated but she couldn’t tell for sure. “Believe it or not Miss, it’s been three years since my arrest. A lot of people have forgotten about it.”

  She believed that. “Yeah, you’re right.” She wanted to leave it at that, but the next question came flying out. “How long have you been living on your own? She’s gonna want to know if we will be supervised.”

  “At this point almost three years. And don’t worry. The Corbins don’t let me have people up to my apartment. Not even friends.”

  She was relieved and bummed all at the same time. “I’m sorry Hawke. Am I getting ahead of myself?”

  He exhaled and sat back. “I like the way your mind works. You are thinking ahead. But I’m gonna guess this is a problem for you. You think too much.”

  She cracked a smile. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”

  “Well I hope I’m the last.”

  Marissa was aware of the stares they were getting. A swarm of girls from the lunch line eyed the unruly boarder sitting across from her. Were they thinking Hawke would never be interested in a girl like her? How did other women see her? Just because she didn’t flaunt herself didn’t mean she was a dog. She preferred a simple confident look to the made-up Hollywood image she saw in the magazines.

  Jedd cleared his throat as he bumped the back of Hawke’s chair.

  Marissa looked up instantly. Her smile vanished. “What’s he doing here?”

  Hawke sipped his soda and set it down. “He’s been keeping an eye on you all day.”

  “That’s pointless.”

  “Not to him,” he said. “He even followed us up the slopes today.”

  She turned in her seat. “Is he following us?”

  Hawke flattened his grin as she played with his cup. “I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s harmless.”

  Marissa wasn’t worried, per se. But he was pestering her. She kept an eye on him as he dragged himself along the back wall.

  “Miss, don’t let him bother you.”

  “I can’t help it. I hate the way he looks at you and me.”

  Hawke reached for her. “You do realize I am a convicted criminal? It comes with the territory.”

  Hawke made a valid point. She hadn’t thought of that. Here she was all over Hawke and no one really believed they were old acquaintances. “They probably think I’m your next victim.”

  “Victim?” Hawke sat forward. “Where’d that come from?”

  Marissa dropped her head. “Did I just say that out loud?”

  Hawke crossed his arms and sank back in his seat. “You certainly did.”

  Her voice went limp. What was she going to say now?

  “Missy?” his voice deepened. “What did you mean by that?”

  She wadded up her napkin and bit her tongue.

  “I’m not gonna ask you again.”

  She fiddled with her plate. “Brianna told me you got caught with some half-naked girl in the utility van.”

  Hawke turned red. “And you believed her?”

  Ugh. What was she supposed to say? That she thought he was a hoodlum and she totally believed it?

  Hawke pushed the food tray away from him. “I can’t believe you would think that.”

  “It doesn’t bother me.”

  “But it’s not true. Evan told that girl she could buy drugs off me. Imagine my surprise when she came to ask. Some people walked by and made up their own conclusion. And her clothes were on. Fully on.”

  “So nothing happened?”

  Hawke recoiled. “No.”

  Marissa knew he was telling her the truth. The way he treated her attested to that. His hands never roamed over her body and he was the one that put limits on how long they kissed— which was the opposite of a few experiences she’d had. Those factors all attested to him being a one-woman-at-a-time type of guy. He wasn’t faking it.

  “Do you think that’s why Jedd is so worried? Does he think you are out to ruin me?”

  Hawke tossed a piece of crust onto his plate. “I don’t know what he thinks.”

  �
�But don’t you think they are only trying to protect me?”

  Hawke leaned over the table and rested his hand on his cheek. “Trust me. You might know my story but there’s always a version you haven’t heard.”

  Just then, Jared and his friends found Hawke and Marissa. “Guys, they’re over here.”

  Marissa sat back, unwilling to let this conversation end but a four-boy diversion had arrived at the table.

  Hawke was upset. He stopped all eye contact and solemnly drew his hand to his side. Expecting the same roar as that morning, Marissa prepared herself to stay in the lodge and keep warm, rather than filing outside for more snow. But that didn’t happen. The boys were eager to hit the half pipe on the other side of the mountain.

  Marissa trailed outside behind them but she didn’t reach for her board. “What are you doing?” Hawke asked her.

  “I’m not going with you.”

  “Why not?” He placed his board back in the stand.

  She rubbed her shoulders. “Cause its cold and I want you to have fun. I’ve slowed you down enough.”

  His eyes blazed with a flare of tenderness. “I am not letting you out of my sight.” He looped her arm and pulled her forward. “And I’m not mad. I’m just not used to having someone else’s opinion matter to me.”

  She smiled and tried again. “I’m glad you aren’t upset. But really, I don’t mind if you go.”

  Hawke moseyed sideways. “If you stay, Jedd will be all over you.”

  He had a point. She made her decision.

  15 Trust

  The afternoon passed slowly as Marissa learned more about Hawke. She was proud of the way he interacted with the boys. It was obvious he’d gleamed a lot about interacting from Rod and Corbin. No matter where the conversations ended, Hawke was slow to give the boys advice and keyed in on their strengths.

  Unlike the younger boarders, Hawke never lost his temper or made a scene when he fell. He always got back up. When the group reached the half pipe Marissa had only fallen twice. Hawke situated her on the spectator ledge so he could land by her and make sure she wouldn’t get hurt.

  Marissa was in awe.

  The closest she’d gotten to this sport was a late night Extreme Sports segment. Watching it live was even more intense.

  Hawke sailed up the sides of the half pipe. His jump sent him fifteen feet in the air as he flipped and landed smoothly. She couldn’t wait to ask him how he did that.

  After an hour of sun and a shower of compliments from the other riders, Hawke sat down beside her.

  He curled his hands over her leg. “Are you doing alright? Are you getting cold?”

  “I am cold,” she admitted. “But I like watching. This is awesome.”

  By the end of the day, the boys were more enamored with Hawke than she was. He’d taken the time to share his testimony on one of their last trips up the mountain. None of them could believe Hawke’s story and victory over drugs, not to mention the way he excelled at boarding and how he had put his life back together.

  He flashed his perfect teeth and nudged her side. “Do you want to meet me tonight down by the pond?”

  She smiled as he dropped back into the pipe. “I’d love to.”

  The sun began to set as she watched this caring, noble, driven man walk back into her life. Why was it that just when she considered giving up, everything started to go right?

  On the second to final run, one of the boys pulled Hawke to the side. Marissa withdrew to the lodge, giving them plenty of privacy. She already assumed one of them had a similar problem. Hawke of course managed to keep an eye on her as she straggled into the lodge.

  Her toes were near frozen and her feet ached from wearing the boots. She ordered him a cup of tea, which is what he gave her yesterday when she was frozen to the bone. When the boys came in from their final run, she wanted to be ready.

  Jared was first. Other than the wind burn on their faces, everyone was clamoring about having a good time. “How was it?” she asked.

  “You missed it,” one of the boys cheered. “Hawke can shred some serious snow.”

  “I know,” her eyes flashed as she slipped her hands in her back pockets.

  Rod was at the bus door as they loaded their gear. He studied her with those fatherly blue eyes. “Everything go okay today?”

  “Yes, sir.” She answered.

  She noticed the way Rod nodded at Hawke. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  Hawke may have missed the watchful eyes as he and Marissa wobbled up the bus aisle but she didn’t. Everyone seemed more at ease without Evan onboard.

  A round of compliments came from other boarders as Hawke took his seat. The chatter seemed to escalate as he passed each row. “Would you think about giving me lessons sometime?”

  “Yeah, me too?”

  “Anytime.” He tapped the back of their seats. “Anytime.”

  Marissa swelled with joy. Some of the boys, and even one girl, all raved about the tricks he spun on the half pipe. Most of them saw him from the ski lift or when he passed them on the slope.

  “Nice air, Hawke. You were way up there.”

  When Brianna and Burton walked on board the talk was deafening. Burton trailed behind her. Each of them seemed more familiar with the other than they did that morning. The couple sat in back as Burton tossed his bag above their heads. “Do you mind if we sit across from you?”

  “Go ahead.”

  Hawke smiled at Marissa as the two took their seats. “Did you both have a fun time?”

  Burton replied. “I did. And it looked like you got some pretty sweet air on some of your rides.”

  Marissa curled her hand over Hawke’s. People liked him! What a relief.

  Brianna was still ignoring the conversation. “How about you, Bri? Did you have a good day?”

  She poised herself and straightened her shoulders. “It was fine, thank you.”

  Hawke tried to warm up to her. “You know, you should try boarding sometime. I’m sure Burton wouldn’t mind showing you.”

  The boy’s face turned a shade of crimson. “I could if she wants?”

  “Why not try?” He set his gaze on Brianna. “Will you let him teach you?”

  Brianna’s eyes widened. Her red cheeks matched Burton’s. She obviously had a thing for the shy boy and was growing more embarrassed as the conversation went on. “I guess I could.”

  “It’s no trouble,” Burton offered.

  And just like that, the two of them were drawn into a conversation.

  Marissa was tired. She stretched out in the reclined chair and tried not to hit anything. She fought off the yawn that beckoned. When the bus started up the bumps and falls of the day were setting in. The uneven road tossed the bus about like a ship lost at sea. Marissa could only imagine what Hawke felt like. He landed most of his jumps, but there were a few that tossed him around.

  He closed his eyes, though his hand rested on the seat with Marissa’s hand in his. She squeezed it as she stared at him. It had been a long time since a boy captured her attention. She had never been the type of girl to stay up and watch someone sleep. But with Hawke, she was drawn to every part of him, in every way imaginable.

  Brianna huffed across the aisle. Marissa silently prayed that the girl would understand that the boy beside her was someone she cared for. Hawke was her chance at loving again¾ a chance she was going to take.

  ~~~

  Hawke opened his eyes as the bus pulled to a stop. He stretched like a cat, his shirt lifting just above the brim of his pants. Marissa tried not to look, but girls can be slyer than boys.

  The ride home had been quiet, proof of time well-spent in the great outdoors. The charter parked in front of the Little Lodge and slowly people rose from their seats. The line moved like molasses as bags were toted off. Hawke ushered Marissa into the aisle as he gathered up their things.

  She could just imagine how her muscles would feel the next day. Sore wouldn’t exactly describe it. She was sure there’d be a few bruise
s, too, which would prove she tried snowboarding. As for the rest of the weekend, she had stories to tell when she got back to school.

  The warmth and comfort of the meeting hall was a nice welcome after such a long day. Some of the kids collapsed on the sofa near the fire; others hurried to their rooms for a quick shower. Dinner was in half an hour, and Marissa couldn’t take another step.

  Hawke patted her head as he dragged himself up the hall. His hazel eyes were still dreary from sleep. “Meet me in the main lodge for dinner?”

  “I’ll try.”

  The effort it would take to remove the dirt and snow from her hair would be better spent just lounging by the open fire. But the longer she sat, the heavier her eyelids felt. Her head wobbled and she tucked her chin onto her hand. Just a few minutes of relaxing and she’d be all better.

  The chatter overhead was foreign and mixed with the stomping boots and slamming door. Marissa rubbed her neck and pulled her head up. Sitting in the armchair, she slid into a slouch.

  Hopping up, she felt the slick drool that had settled on her cheek. “Oh my God, I fell asleep!”

  She raced up the hall to the bathroom, and doused her face with water. She soaped off her makeup from earlier and tied her hair back. She slid a navy hoodie out of her bag and brushed some light powder over her cheeks and nose. After applying black mascara and some green and gold eye shadow, she puckered her lips and glossed them with a mild toffee lipstick.

  That should do it. A few more touches and she’d feel like she’d showered and was ready for the night. She slid in her hoop earrings and glanced at Hawke’s sketch. Taking a deep breath, she said a prayer of thanks before spritzing her neck with perfume. Then she tore open a lollipop from Stephanie’s stash and rushed to the main lodge.

  The wind took a bit out of her warm smile. If nothing else, it jolted the sleep from her mind.

  She reached for the door to the lower level of the lodge, grateful there were a few stragglers from the other church laboring in front of her.

  Hawke stood up as she walked through the door. She smiled as he reached for her hand. Then, with the other hand, he presented her with a bouquet of flowers.

  Her knees wobbled as she felt the rubbery stems in her hand. Where did he get them? How did he get them? She fondled the pedals and breathed in their soft scent.

 

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