by Dee Williams
‘I reckon he’s been busy and can’t get away,’ said Pat.
‘He said it was his night off.’
‘I know, love, but doctors can’t always do what they want to.’
Milly was disappointed. For the first time since Jane died she was just beginning to enjoy life, and the thought of going out with someone as clever and nice as Tom had thrilled her. Whenever she thought about Jane, she remembered Richard. She often looked at the lovely bracelet he’d given her. She had loved him in her own way, but that was all in the past now. She knew that going out with men like Tom and Richard wasn’t for the likes of her.
It wasn’t till the following week that Tom found Milly at the office. Ada had told her that he had been to see her earlier in the week but she had been out with Rita.
‘Milly. I’m so pleased to see you. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t make it last week. We had a terrible rush on and I was called back in. Ada told me that you only come here some evenings.’ It was all said in a rush.
‘That’s all right.’
‘Look, could we go somewhere and talk?’
Milly looked at Ada.
‘Go on, be off with you.’
Milly smiled. ‘Thanks.’
Once again they were sitting in a café.
‘So do you work during the day?’
Milly nodded.
‘And where’s that?’
‘You know, you are very nosy.’
‘It’s just that you’re a very pretty girl and you intrigue me.’
Milly laughed. ‘What, me?’
‘Yes. And I would like to know more about you.’
‘I bet you say that to all your nurses.’
‘No. Milly, could I take you out?’
‘No.’
‘Why?’
‘I have my reasons.’
‘Do you have a young man?’
‘In a way.’
‘I see. I’m very sorry to force myself on to you.’
Milly didn’t reply. She didn’t want to let him go, but she knew she had to. He wasn’t for the likes of her. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, it should be me apologising.’
Milly stood up. ‘I must go.’
Tom quickly jumped to his feet. ‘Please, Milly, forgive me.’
‘There’s nothing to forgive.’ She left the restaurant without looking back. She had tears in her eyes. Tom was a lovely person but she knew that it wasn’t to be. Their lives were worlds apart.
Chapter 25
ALL THROUGH THE summer the suffragettes continued to make themselves seen and heard.
Milly was thrilled when the week after her birthday in November she was asked to work at the office full time.
She hugged Ada. ‘This is the best birthday present I could have.’
Ada laughed. ‘Well I’ve watched you over these past months and seen how willing you are and knew that you should be here full time.’
Milly knew that Rita wouldn’t be that happy about it, but she had to move on. The family didn’t appear to be worried; they were only concerned about money. When Milly was told she would be getting ten shillings a week she was excited, and the thought that came quickly into her head was that now she might even begin to think about moving out.
As she knew how the office was run, she had no problem in being there all day and for most of the evening.
‘You know you don’t have to stay every evening,’ said Ada.
‘I know, but I haven’t got a lot to rush home for.’
Although Milly hadn’t said too much about her home life, Ada had guessed she wasn’t that happy.
One morning as Milly was getting ready to go to work, there had been an argument over the fact that she was wearing a new frock.
‘Where’s that come from?’ asked Pammy.
‘I bought it. I needed a new one.’
‘What about us lot? Yer don’t think about us, do yer?’
‘Pammy, I give you nearly all my wages. If Dad got himself a proper job, that would help.’
‘Yer know he can’t work cos of his leg.’
‘Yes. I’ve heard all that before.’ Milly went to walk away, but Pammy grabbed her arm.
‘We need yer money.’
‘I know, now let go.’
Milly was angry as she walked to work. Why did they have to rely on her? How would they manage if she hadn’t come back?
Once again Christmas was approaching, and Milly was wandering round the market. She was worried because Ada had said she was getting presents for Eve and Pat. Did that mean that she would have to get Ada something really nice? Once again her thoughts went to the past and things she had bought Jane and Betty. She remembered that Jane had been really thrilled with the scarf. So perhaps it could be a scarf for Ada and hankies for Eve and Pat.
There was a commotion a bit further along the market that made her look up, and to her horror she saw Bertie being dragged off by a policeman. Milly froze. Bertie was screaming that he hadn’t done anything. Should she go and interfere? Should she pay for whatever he’d pinched? She quickly went behind a stall, out of sight. She still had the fear that the police could be looking for her.
She spent a while ambling round, taking in the sight and smells, and when she finished shopping she went home.
When she walked into the kitchen, Pammy was looking anxious and pacing the floor with Freddie thrown over her shoulder. She looked so pathetic that Milly felt sorry for her. What sort of life was this for a young girl? ‘Everything all right?’ she asked.
‘No it bloody well ain’t.’
‘Why, what’s wrong now?’
‘Bert’s gone and got ’imself locked up. Got caught pinching.’
‘I knew he would one day. Where is he?’
‘At the police station. ’E’s gotta pay a ten-bob fine.’
‘What?’
‘You ’eard.’
‘Who told you that?’
‘Dad. The coppers come ’ere for ’im.’
‘What happens if he doesn’t pay?’
‘ ’E goes ter clink.’
‘But he’s only a child,’
‘Don’t make a bit of difference to the beak.’
Milly was trying to think. Bertie had only just been arrested. ‘When did he do this?’
‘A couple of weeks ago. The coppers ’ave been looking for ’im, and terday they caught ’im pinching again. The judge always sits on a Sat’day afternoon, cos a lot of villains get caught on Sat’days.’
‘I see. How are we going to pay to get him back?’
‘Dunno. Could spend the rest of ’is days locked up.’
‘I can’t see that happening.’
‘Well ’ow’s ’e gonna git the money? Mind you, you might ’ave it if yer didn’t spend it on fancy clothes.’
Milly ignored that remark. She wasn’t going to start arguing with her sister.
That night as she lay on her mattress she thought about Bert. He was only a child, despite his cocky ways. She knew she had to help, but a whole week’s wages . . . it would take her weeks to save that, and how would he fare in prison for all that time? She had heard of some of the terrible things they did to the suffragettes. And how would she feel if he was in prison over Christmas? Although Christmas didn’t mean much in this household, she still didn’t want Bert to be away. Should she ask Ada for a loan? No, that would mean telling her about her family, and she didn’t want anyone to know too much about her past.
She took her bracelet from her bag and looked at it fondly. She loved it so much; it reminded her of Richard. If only things had worked out differently. She loved him and would never forget him, but she had to be practical. This was something she’d been hoping to keep for ever, but it was only an object, and she knew then she had to pawn her prize possession and get her young brother back with his family.
On Monday morning Milly went in to the pawnbroker’s. Most mornings she passed women trundling along pushing old prams that had seen better days. Babie
s sat on top of bundles of old clothes and bedding as they made their way to the shop with the three brass balls hanging from the wall. Looking through the glass door, Milly could see that the place was full of women pawning their husbands’ suits and blankets. They were standing around chatting to one another. It was clear that this was a weekly jaunt and they all knew each other. When she pushed open the door and the bell above began ringing its dull sound, the women all stopped talking and looked at her.
‘Come in, love,’ said the fat man behind the counter.
Milly hesitated. She didn’t want these women to know her business.
‘Don’t mind this lot, it’s a weekly outing fer ’em.’
The women parted and Milly slowly made her way to the counter.
‘Now, what can I do fer yer?’
Milly looked around.
‘Don’t be shy, love,’ said a toothless old lady behind her. ‘We know what it’s like ter fall on ’ard times.’
‘I’ll come back tomorrow when you’re not so busy.’ Milly turned and started to walk away.
‘Prices will be lower termorrer,’ said the man.
She stopped. What should she do? She didn’t want all these women to see her lovely bracelet, but she had to think about Bert stuck in prison. ‘Is there a room where I can talk to you in private?’
‘Oooh, ’ark at ’er. Private indeed. ’Ere, Will, can we all see yer in private?’
‘Mind yer, if we did, we might get more than a few bob fer our old man’s suit,’ said another.
Loud cackling laughter filled the shop.
Milly wanted to die. She’d kill Bert when she got hold of him, making her feel so humiliated.
The fat man grinned. ‘Come on through ter the back. Maudie,’ he yelled out, ‘come and keep yer eye on this lot.’
A thin woman with her grey hair scragged back from her pale face came from the back room. She was dressed completely in black, and Milly was fascinated by the lacy black gloves she was wearing. She tugged at them and then cuffed her nose.
‘And don’t you lot pinch anyfink while I’m gorn,’ said the man. ‘Come on, love, this way.’
Reluctantly Milly followed him to a room behind the counter.
‘Right, sit yerself down and show me what yer got.’
Milly took the bracelet from her handbag and handed it to him.
He took a small black eyeglass from his gaudy waistcoat pocket, and after putting in to his eye gave out a whistle. ‘I don’t take any knocked-orf goods. Got me reputation and the cops ter worry about.’
‘It wasn’t stolen, it was given to me.’
He grinned. ‘Fer services rendered, I suppose?’
He could think what he liked; Milly wasn’t going to go into details. ‘What will you give me for it?’
‘It’s ’all marked, but I’d ’ave a job selling it if yer didn’t redeem it. Not a lot of call fer lovely gold bracelets like this round here.’
Milly put out her hand to take it back, but he pulled away out of reach.
‘Didn’t say I wouldn’t take it, though, did I?’
Milly knew he was playing with her, but what could she do? ‘Just tell me how much.’
He took the eyeglass from his eye and looked at her. ‘How much yer in trouble for?’
‘I’m not in trouble.’
He sat back. ‘Don’t give me that.’
‘It’s my young brother.’
‘I’ve ’eard all the excuses, love.’
‘The money is for my young brother, he’s the one in trouble.’ Milly was beginning to get angry. ‘If you’re not going to give me what I want, then I shall go elsewhere.’
‘How much do you want?’
Milly hesitated. ‘A pound.’
‘A pound? This ain’t a charity, yer know.’
‘Well in that case . . . ’ She held out her hand.
‘I’ll give yer ten bob.’
‘I’ll take it.’ She felt pleased with herself. This was just the amount she wanted.
‘I fink I’ve just done meself.’
‘If I can raise the money, I’ll be back for it.’
‘I’ve ’eard that before.’
Back in the shop, the fat man went to a drawer under the counter and took out a ten-shilling note.
‘Look at that,’ said a customer. ‘What she ’ave ter do ter git that, then?’
The fat man grinned and touched the side of his nose.
Milly wanted to smack his face, but she knew that wouldn’t do any good, so she grabbed her money and stalked out.
As she walked to the office, she wondered how she was going to get the money to the police station. She didn’t want to go there herself, but could she trust Pammy to deliver it? What option did she have?
‘Sorry I’m late,’ she said, taking off her hat. ‘We had a bit of trouble at home.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ said Ada. ‘You know you don’t have to stay if someone is ill.’
Milly smiled. ‘No. It’s nothing like that.’ She wasn’t going to elaborate.
‘There’s a batch of letters to be stamped and posted. Could you do that this morning?’
‘Yes, of course.’ Milly knew that that was the answer. She would post the money.
The following evening she had to look surprised when she walked into the kitchen to hear Bert telling everybody how someone had sent the money to pay for the goods he’d stolen.
‘You must have a secret benefactor somewhere,’ said Milly.
‘Don’t know wot that means, but fank Gord for ’im. Didn’t like it in clink.’
‘Now you might think twice about going round stealing.’
‘He will fer a little while,’ said Pammy. She looked at Milly. ‘I wonder who sent the money.’
Milly shrugged. She certainly wasn’t going to tell them.
Chapter 26
IN 1913 THE SUFFRAGETTES were truly making themselves heard. There had been many incidents and arrests, but it was in June that they received the greatest amount of publicity.
One afternoon Ada came rushing into the office with tears running down her face.
Milly jumped up to comfort her. ‘What is it? What’s happened? Eve, get Ada a glass of water.’
They sat Ada down and waited for the sobs to subside.
‘You remember the Epsom Derby, when Emily Davison threw herself under the King’s horse.’
There was a quick intake of breath from all who were present.
‘Yes. Why?’ asked Eve.
‘We believe she wanted to stop the horse. It was a protest that went horribly wrong, and she was taken to the hospital. I’ve just heard it was too late.’
Milly sat at her desk. She suddenly felt she should do more. Like everybody else she was aware of the imprisonment and the hunger strikes, but this was the first time someone had actually died for the cause.
The papers were full of the death of Emily Davison. It was the talk of the streets. On the day of the funeral many ordinary people stood at the roadside to watch the cortege pass by and say their last goodbyes. The office had been draped in black, and although it was a very sombre affair, for Milly like countless others, the funeral was the grandest thing she had ever attended. To walk with the women and to hear the sound of the muffled drums brought tears to her eyes. The women who lined the route were crying, and even the men with bowed heads were silent. It was very emotional.
‘We must get the vote now,’ Ada said. ‘Surely this has to be the supreme sacrifice.’
Towards the end of the year Milly’s life took another turn. Last week had been her nineteenth birthday. Now she was well into the movement and had been on a few marches but always managed to stay out of trouble. At the rallies she was thrilled by speeches by the Pankhursts and other women, and admired their passion and dedication.
The so-called cat-and-mouse game was also in the news. When the women in prison became ill through being on hunger strike, they were given a temporary discharge and sent home to recov
er then arrested again. It was all very sad.
‘Milly,’ said Ada one morning as soon as she arrived at the office.
Milly, who was busy writing at her desk, looked up. She was always worried when Ada used that tone of voice. Had she done something wrong?
‘Don’t look so apprehensive.’ Ada seemed excited and quickly removed her hat and coat. ‘As you know, we have a tenant in the two rooms upstairs, who is leaving soon. Now, I know you are not very happy at home, and I was wondering if you would like to move into the upstairs rooms.’
Milly sat with her mouth open.
‘You don’t have to answer me now. Think about it and let me know.’
‘What about the rent? I don’t think I could afford it.’
‘We have thought about that, and we, that is the movement, were wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing.’
Milly was still in shock. ‘No. No, I don’t mind. Who did you have in mind?’
‘There’s a young lady about your age whose father as we know has made her homeless. She is from a very good family; her mother died a while back and she was a member, so we were wondering if that would be all right with you.’
‘Yes, that would be fine. When do I get to meet her?’
‘This afternoon.’
‘When are the people upstairs leaving?’
‘This weekend. Now, I must get on.’
Milly sat looking at her desk. She wanted to dance round the room. She couldn’t believe that she had been given another chance to better herself. She thought about her family. What would they do without her? She knew it was selfish, but she had to take the moment. Her mind was churning over and over. They didn’t know where she was working; they had never been interested just as long as she brought in the money. She wouldn’t give them her address but she would send them money now and again.
As usual when anything good was offered to Milly, her thoughts always went to Jane. If she hadn’t taken me off the streets and educated me, where would I be now? She knew she would never forget her friend and would be grateful to her for the rest of her life.