by Dee Williams
It was late as Milly made her way home, exhausted but very happy. It was one of the best Christmases she had ever had since running away from the Greens. Back in the flat, she lit the gas lamp, kicked off her shoes and sat on the sofa. She would make a well-earned cup of tea later. She looked round the room. The sofa, along with all the rest of the furniture, was going back to Lizzie’s house in the new year. She knew she would be very sorry to leave here; it had been lovely to be so independent, and this place had so many memories. The office and Ada and the efforts of the women hoping to get the vote. Now she didn’t know where she would finish up. I mustn’t get down, she said to herself; I know something will turn up.
She put her feet up and began to reflect on past Christmases. Some were good and some were very bad. What kind of Christmas had her family had? She tried to send as much money home as she could, but what would happen when she had to find rent? Whenever she thought about the family and about what she had, she felt very guilty. Perhaps she should go and see them in the new year? Her thoughts went to Jane. If it hadn’t been for the Greens educating her, she would probably still be living in Winter Street. She thought about the lovely Christmases she’d had with the Greens and Betty. She would always be grateful to Jane for showing her a new life. If only things had been different. Milly knew that for the rest of her life she would be haunted by that dreadful day in the park. A tear slid down her cheek and the knocking on the downstairs door made her jump. She sat up and looked at the clock. It was ten o’clock. Who was coming here at this time of night? Whoever it was was very persistent. They knocked again, this time much harder. Milly stood at the top of the stairs.
‘Milly! Milly!’ It was Lizzie’s voice. ‘Open the door.’
‘Lizzie!’ screamed Milly and ran down the stairs.
She threw open the door and threw her arms round her friend. Over Lizzie’s shoulder she saw Tom, and she stepped back.
‘Look what we’ve brought round.’ He held up a bottle.
‘It’s Daddy’s finest champagne. We thought you might be lonely, so we decided to come and see you. I know it’s late,’ said Lizzie as she pushed passed Milly and made her way upstairs. ‘But we will only stay for a while.’
Tom shrugged as he followed Lizzie.
Upstairs, Lizzie stood in the doorway. ‘My God. Where is everything?’
‘Packed up ready for me to move.’
Lizzie walked in and took off her gloves and scarf. ‘Have you got somewhere to live?’
Milly shook her head.
‘Well don’t worry for now. I’ll pay the next month’s rent. How would that suit you? In fact I’ll make it two, you don’t want to be flat-hunting in the winter.’ She plonked herself on the sofa.
‘I can’t let you do that.’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t know. It’s not right.’
Tom had put the bottle on the table and was hunting around in the cupboard. ‘Where are all the glasses, Milly?’
‘Packed away.’
‘Well you had better unpack them,’ said Lizzie, smiling.
‘How much have you had to drink?’ asked Milly, getting a cardboard box from the dresser.
‘A lot. And I was so pleased to see Tom. I’ve had such a boring evening, all I could do was drink till he arrived, and then he suggested we come and see you.’ Lizzie began giggling. ‘So here we are.’
Milly looked at Tom, who just smiled. So this was his idea.
The cork popped very loudly and Tom expertly poured out the champagne.
‘I’ve never had champagne before,’ said Milly, screwing up her nose as the bubbles tickled it.
‘Well you deserve it. From what Tom’s been telling me, you are one of the most efficient nurses they have.’
‘I’m not a nurse.’ Milly wanted to add that she didn’t even work with Tom, but when she looked over at him he quickly shook his head.
‘What about you, my little tram-driver?’ said Milly.
‘I can’t drive a tram but as a conductress I’m having a lot of fun. I don’t see the horrors of this damn war.’
For a moment the conversation stopped as their thoughts went to the men at the front.
Suddenly Lizzie said, ‘Pour us another drink, Tom.’
He did as he was told.
After a while, Lizzie began to doze. To Milly’s relief she was sitting in the middle, between Tom and herself. They began talking quietly.
‘So where are you going to live?’ he asked.
‘I’m sure I can find somewhere. June at the hospital said she might be able to help me out.’
‘That’s wonderful. I was worried that you might be leaving us.’
‘No. And I never really thanked you for helping me get it.’
‘I just made a suggestion to Matron, that was all.’
Lizzie started to groan.
‘I think I’d better get this young lady home,’ said Tom, sitting her up.
‘She could stay here,’ said Milly.
‘No, I’d better get her home. I don’t want her father thinking I’ve taken advantage of her.’
Milly stood up and wobbled a bit. She giggled. The drink was affecting her. ‘I’m not used to drinking,’ she said sheepishly. ‘I’ll help you put her coat on.’
They helped Lizzie to stand up, and put her coat on her. ‘It was lovely seeing you again, Milly,’ she said without opening her eyes.
‘And it was lovely seeing you again.’
They held each other close.
‘Come on, young lady. Home for you.’
‘I love it when he’s so forceful.’
‘Will you be able to manage?’ said Milly.
‘The fresh air will help. Besides, I’ve got her father’s car outside.’
‘You didn’t tell me you could drive.’
‘Lizzie’s father taught me, so we’ll be fine. Good night, Milly.’ He leant across Lizzie and kissed Milly’s cheek. ‘See you at work.’
Milly stood and watched them leave.
Once she was sitting on the sofa again, she began to cry. The drink was making her melancholy, but she wasn’t sad. Lizzie was going to pay her rent and June might be finding her somewhere to live. Why was everybody so nice to her? What would they all say if they knew what she had done?
Chapter 34
THE NEXT MORNING Milly was looking out for Tom. She wanted to know if he’d got Lizzie home safely.
She was walking through the ward when June smiled at her.
‘What you doing round here?’ she asked.
‘I’m looking for Dr Walsh.’
‘Are you indeed? You know we’re not allowed to fraternise with the doctors or the patients.’
‘Of course I do. Have you seen him?’
‘Not yet, I’ve just come on duty. I’d like to talk to you sometime.’ June looked round her and said quickly, ‘I’ll see you lunchtime.’
‘I’d better get back to my ward.’
Milly was apprehensive. Had June got some good news for her?
She missed June at lunchtime, as they had a new intake of soldiers. It wasn’t till she was leaving that June came up to her.
‘Milly, my Auntie Lil said she’s got a room you can have, and you can go round any time and have a look.’
Milly wanted to hug June, but she knew that wasn’t the right thing to do when they were in uniform. ‘Thank you. Where does your aunt live?’
‘Not too far away. Here’s the address.’ She handed Milly a piece of paper.
‘I’ll go round at the weekend.’
‘That’ll be fine. Good night.’ June left Milly staring at the address. She knew where this was. It wasn’t too far away, and not too near Winter Street either.
On Sunday afternoon Milly went to see Aunt Lil.
‘Hello, I hope I’m not disturbing you,’ said Milly when a small woman wearing a clean wrap-round floral overall opened the door. Her grey hair had been neatly cut and she had a ready smile
‘No, love.
You must be Milly. Come on in. It’s a bit chilly out there.’
Milly walked straight from the street into a cosy, warm room.
‘Sit yourself down. Cuppa?’
‘Yes please.’
Aunt Lil went into the kitchen and quickly came back with a tray that held two cups and saucers, a plate of biscuits, milk jug and sugar bowl. It looked as if it had been set ready. ‘The kettle won’t be a jiffy. I thought you might be round today. Young June told me what shifts you’d be on. Nice kid, our June.’
‘Yes, she is. Although I don’t see a lot of her.’
‘It’s a good job you young girls are doing.’
‘We hope so.’
Lil jumped up as the kettle began its shrill whistle.
Milly looked round this nicely furnished room. There was a table and two chairs, and an ornate pot that held an aspidistra was sitting in the middle of the table. Two fireside chairs were drawn up beside a glowing fire that warmed the room. The fireplace had been black-leaded and was a complete contrast to the white hearth; a well-polished brass fender stood in front. Everywhere seemed sparkling and clean.
‘This is a lovely warm room,’ said Milly, as Lil appeared carrying a teapot covered with a multicoloured crocheted cosy. She sat down at the table.
‘I try. It’s been hard since my Stan died.’ She jumped up again and took a photograph off the cluttered mantelpiece. ‘This is my Stan,’ she said proudly, handing Milly the photograph.
‘He was very handsome.’
Lil smiled. ‘Yes, he was. June loved him; always playing about, them two was.’
Milly smiled back. She knew she could be very happy living here.
‘Do you take sugar?’
‘Yes please. One.’
Lil pushed her tea towards her. ‘Help yourself to biscuits.’
‘Aunt Lil . . . can I call you that?’
Her face lit up. ‘I’d love it.’
‘How much would you charge me for a room?’
‘Finish your tea first, and then we’ll go and have a look, shall we?’
As Milly made her way back to her old flat, she still couldn’t believe her luck. Aunt Lil was really lovely and said she wanted company. The bedroom was small and sparsely furnished, but Milly didn’t mind. It was clean and cheap, and Lil was going to feed her and do her washing as well, all for only five shillings a week. Milly couldn’t believe her luck. Once again the future was very bright for her. As she pottered about the flat, she wondered if there were going to be bad times ahead for her. She wondered why she was so blessed.
She had told Aunt Lil that she would like to move in after the new year. That would give her a chance to write to Lizzie and tell her of her plans, and then Lizzie could see about taking the furniture away.
That evening she decided to start putting a few of the very personal bits she had collected over the years into a cardboard box. There was her certificate, and the hair slide that Richard had bought her all those years ago. There was a necklace from Lizzie and a brooch from Ada. But the thing she treasured more than anything was the bracelet that Richard had given her. She sat fondling it. After she had pawned it to stop Bert from going to prison, she had been determined to retrieve it and had saved every penny she had. She recalled vividly the day she’d gone to the pawnbroker’s. She had been very apprehensive. What if he’d sold it?
When she’d pushed open the door, the tinny bell rang aggressively. It wasn’t a Monday morning, so the shop was empty, not like before. The man had recognised her right away.
‘I know what you’ve come for. Got yer ticket?’
Milly nodded. She had kept the pawn ticket with her all the time. She never wanted to lose it.
‘That’s good. Can’t part with the goods without a ticket.’
Placing the ticket on the counter, she’d looked round the empty shop. In some ways she wished there had been other women there. This man made her feel afraid. ‘Have you still got it?’ she asked.
‘Might have.’
She knew this was just a game to him.
‘You know it’ll cost yer more ter get it back?’ He took a book out from under the counter and began leafing through it. ‘What did I give yer?’
‘Ten shillings.’
‘It’ll cost yer fifteen ter git it back.’
She took a sharp breath. ‘That’s a lot of money.’
‘Please yerself.’
‘Could I see it, just to make sure it’s mine?’
He shut the book and went to a set of drawers behind him, and brought out her precious bracelet. It was wrapped in tissue paper. ‘This is it.’ He placed it on the glass counter.
She wanted to hold it and run away with it.
‘It’ll cost you fifteen bob ter get it back,’ he repeated.
Milly stood looking at her treasure. ‘I don’t have fifteen shillings,’ she said sadly.
He began wrapping the bracelet up again. ‘Come back when yer have.’ He turned to put it back in the drawer.
‘Just a minute.’
He gave her a toothless grin. ‘I knew yer had the dosh.’
Milly opened her bag and counted out fifteen shillings on to the counter.
He grabbed the money and gave her the bracelet. ‘Ta. See yer again.’
As Milly left the shop she said, ‘I don’t think so.’
Now she sat on the bed and gently put the bracelet on her wrist. Thoughts of Richard and Jane came flooding back, and so did the tears.
Chapter 35
IT MUST HAVE BEEN after Lizzie got Milly’s letter telling her she was moving that Tom came looking for her.
She was walking down the corridor when he caught up with her.
‘Milly. Are you avoiding me?’
‘No. Why?’
‘I don’t see a lot of you these days,’
‘Well we are all rather busy.’
‘That’s true. Lizzie tells me you’re moving.’
‘Yes.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m moving in with June’s aunt.’
‘Where’s that?’
‘Quite near.’ Milly wasn’t prepared to give him her address.
‘What are you doing New Year’s Eve?’ he asked as he kept pace alongside her.
She stopped. ‘Nothing. Why?’
‘I’m hoping to have the evening off, and I’d like to spend it with you.’
‘What about Lizzie?’
‘Now that all the music halls and dance halls are closed and she has to stay at home, she gets very miserable; that’s of course if she isn’t working.’
‘And what do you intend to do with me?’
‘I thought we might go and have a meal somewhere. The best restaurants are still open.’
‘Tom, you should be taking Lizzie, not me.’
‘But what if we have to work? You’ll understand, but Lizzie won’t.’
‘I don’t believe that for one moment. And no, I won’t go with you. I shall always be grateful to you for my job here, but I won’t go out with you.’ She continued walking. Inside she was very angry. Why was he doing this to her? He belonged to Lizzie, and Milly knew that she could never be with him if she didn’t trust him. What if he always wanted someone he couldn’t have? She wanted to turn and look when she reached the end of the corridor, but decided that would make him think she cared.
She made up her mind that she would volunteer to work on New Year’s Eve and let someone else have the evening off to celebrate with their loved ones.
Milly was waiting for the removal men to come and take the furniture. When they arrived, there was a woman helping.
‘Hello,’ said Milly.
‘Hello, miss. This lot ter go?’ she asked, lifting a chair.
‘Yes please, everything.’ Milly smiled to herself. Women were doing so many jobs now that were once considered men’s work. How different from when the Women’s Suffrage Movement were trying to make themselves heard and were told by many that a woman’s place wa
s in the home. They would have to give women the vote after this.
After work that evening Milly moved in with Aunt Lil. It was the start of a new year, and once again a new start for Milly. Somehow she knew that this was going to be a very happy place for her.
The war was gathering pace. U-boats were sinking British ships and the east coast was being shelled. What really brought home the horrors of war to the ordinary people was that the Germans were using Zeppelins to drop bombs. This outrage caused many people to turn on the Germans living in London, smashing windows and setting fire to shops they thought were owned by Germans.
Milly was pleased that she had Aunt Lil to come home to. Sometimes she needed someone to talk to about the things she’d seen. The people turning on the Germans living in Britain had really upset her.
‘These people have lived here all their lives. One woman was crying. Her little girl was badly cut with glass after their shop window was smashed. They’re not German; they were born here. It’s just they’ve got a German name over their shop.’
‘That’s terrible,’ said Aunt Lil.
‘I know.’
‘Is the little girl gonna be all right?’ she asked.
Milly nodded. ‘Yes, thank goodness.’
‘What’s gonna happen to ’em when this lot is over?’ asked Aunt Lil.
‘I don’t know. What’s going to happen to any of us?’
At the end of April, the newspapers reported that the Germans were using gas on British troops. One morning Matron called the Red Cross workers to a meeting.
There was a lot of babble as they sat waiting, but when she entered the room silence fell and they quickly stood up.
‘Please be seated. Now, I’ve called you all here this morning because a new batch of soldiers will be arriving shortly. I know this is nothing new, but these young men are different; these are men who have been affected by the dreadful poison gas.’
There was a sharp intake a breath from all who were gathered there.