But in this moment, I wanted her more than anything else. I’d never known want like this. I’d never been so tempted to leap into the fire, the consequences be damned.
I could not spend another fucking night alone.
I could not be numb anymore. Numb was safe. Numb was smart. But what did safe and smart matter if I was dead inside? Emily was bringing me back to life. And now that I knew how sweet that life could be, I didn’t want to go back.
I looked at her, and looked, and kept looking. I had to think about Jane, about the family. About my future. I was next in line to the throne. I did not have the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it.
But Jesus fuck, I wanted this girl.
Left or right. I had to make a choice.
Right or wrong. Numb or alive. Duty or desire.
What a bloody idiot I’d been to believe that choice was an easy one.
Now I was trembling. Emily’s eyes were still on mine.
“Fuck it,” I said.
And then I hung a right and led Emily into my bedroom and slammed the door shut behind us.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kit
Emily stepped out of my grasp. She glanced around the room as she moved toward the bed. She’d never been inside my bedroom before. Having her here felt like the ultimate transgression. The ultimate thrill.
The housekeeper had turned on the lamps on either side of my bed. Their warm glow filled the room.
My eyes raked over Emily’s backside. Her gown rippled over her hips and ass as she moved. I couldn’t wait to tear it off her.
My dick throbbed.
I crossed the room in one, two impatient strides. I grabbed Emily’s hand and spun her around to face me, pulling her close.
I felt angry. I felt aroused.
I felt like giving in.
So I bent my neck and pressed my mouth to hers.
Stars exploded behind my closed eyelids as Emily rose to meet my kiss. Her mouth was warm and soft. So bloody soft. I put my hands on her face, angling my head to meet her mouth. I put my hands on her neck, drew them through her hair, all the while kissing her, tasting her with my tongue, drawing her bottom lip between my teeth.
Emily moaned, pressing her hips into mine. My body was screaming and my blood was pounding and my desire for this girl ran over, filling every square inch of me with acute need. I’d fought this feeling for so long. I didn’t want to fight it anymore.
She tasted like fire and sex. Her kiss hinted at a wildness and a willingness I’d fantasized about.
Her fingers curled around the lapels of my jacket. My heart thumped. She was scared out of her bloody mind. I was scared. But that only made the kiss sweeter. More intense.
I let her mouth go to kiss her jaw, her chin. Her neck. She gasped, her fingers moving into my hair.
“Kit,” she breathed. “Oh, Kit. Please.”
“Trust me,” I murmured against her skin.
Emily pulled back, just enough so that she could meet my eyes. She searched them.
“Just for tonight,” I said. “You have to trust me tonight.”
A beat of silence passed between us.
“All right,” she said. Her voice was thin. Rough.
I nodded at a chair beside the bed. “Sit,” I said, tugging at my bowtie.
Emily did as I told her, her dress settling around her in a silver puddle as she sat. Her slit parted over her knee, revealing her thigh.
My mouth watered. The need between my legs pounded.
I ripped off my bowtie, shrugged out of my jacket. I removed my cufflinks and rolled my sleeves up. Emily looked at me.
“Spread your legs,” I said.
Her eyes went wide, flicking with something dark and fiery. Slowly, her knees fell apart. Her slit widened, but not enough for me to see her.
Emily watched as I stepped forward and reached down, curling my fingers around the velvet bow at her hip. I gave it a short, impatient tug. The bow unraveled; the front of her dress fell apart, revealing her black lacy bra and matching thong.
My heart stalled inside my chest. I licked my lips.
“Move your thong to the side,” I said.
She swallowed. Then she reached down and moved the strip of fabric aside with her first two fingers.
I stared. Her pussy was just as perfect as I remembered it. All pinks and reds, slick with her arousal. I wanted to see her spread wide open, I wanted to see her lips spread around my dick as I made love to her.
Putting my hands on the arms of the chair, I got on my knees.
* * *
Emily
I wanted to run.
I wanted to hide.
I never bared myself like this to guys. Not since Luke. It made me vulnerable. It opened me up to hurt.
I was so scared of getting hurt again. And doing this with Kit all but guaranteed that I’d be left bleeding. Our story did not have a happy ending. I’d known that from the beginning.
But I trusted him. Like an idiot, I trusted him, and I’d do anything—I’d give up anything—if it meant I could have one night, just one night, with him. When this was done and our fake engagement was over, I’d go back to my usual meaningless encounters with guys I picked up in bars.
Tonight, though. Tonight I’d let Kit touch me like he loved me. I’d let him take me like I loved him. I’d pretend that this was the beginning of our happily ever after.
I’d pretend that fairy tales really did come true.
Kit’s eyes met mine. They were so blue and so pretty and so full of feeling. My heart clenched. So did the desire between my legs.
He hitched one of my legs over his shoulder. I was spread wide, totally exposed. The scent of my arousal hung between us.
Ducking his head, Kit pressed a kiss onto my clit. Sensation, blinding and tight, bolted through me. The muscles in my calves bunched.
“This”—I drew a breath between my teeth— “is everything—”
The words stalled in my throat as he ran his tongue over and around my clit. It felt hot. Soft. Perfect. I bucked against him, raising my hips to meet his mouth, and he growled, a dark, rumbling sound.
Balancing himself on his knees, Kit licked and teased and bit me until I writhed beneath him. My body was pulled taut as a bowstring, begging for release. The first flutters of sensation tightened between my legs.
Keeping his mouth on my clit, he sunk one finger inside me, then another. The stretch of my pussy around him was painfully sweet. Sliding his free hand back to cup my ass, he lifted me off the chair, spreading me wider against his mouth. I dug my fingers into his hair, mussing it, pulling it.
He devoured me. He tasted me slowly, thoroughly, his tongue and fingers moving in tandem. I was so wet, so swollen, that he moved easily in and over and out of me.
“You’re close,” he murmured. “Your cunt—it’s tightening around my fingers. Feel that?”
I nodded, closing my eyes. I was losing control. I had to surrender to him. At this point, I didn’t have a choice.
He sucked on my clit, hard. I cried out, begged him for more. I rolled my hips. He nipped at my clit with his teeth. The pain—the sweetness—it was unbearable.
“Why do you have to be so good at this?” I breathed.
I felt his lips moving into a smile against my clit. “Why do you have to taste so good, love?”
Love. He’d called me that when he’d tucked me in last night. It made me feel adored. Safe. Happy.
Sensation spiraled and tightened between my legs. It hurt, this hurt, Kit was hurting me and I loved it. I watched as his head moved up and down, slowly, so slowly. It was erotic and lewd and lovely, all at once.
He was making me feel everything, all at once.
I screwed my eyes shut as the wave approached. I was on the edge, it was coming, I was coming—
Pulses of heat and light and sweetness tore through me. I cried out, powerless to control myself, my body arching off the chair. My legs shook.
My heart pounded. I gasped for breath as the waves kept coming, pulling me under, drowning me in such exquisite release that for a second I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
I pulsed against his lips, around his fingers. I sputtered, I gasped.
I opened my eyes and saw Kit watching me, a pained look in his eyes. I felt that pain, too, right in the center of my chest.
We were in over our heads. But it was too late to do anything about it now.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kit
The sound Emily made when the orgasm hit—Christ, I’d never heard anything more beautiful. She totally abandoned herself to the moment. She didn’t put on a show, or try to fake it.
It drove me fucking wild. I felt like I was twenty-four again. Cocky and unencumbered and free.
How could I go back to numb after experiencing the sweetness of all this?
Emily’s eyes went hazy as she watched me lick her taste off my lips. She touched her finger to my mouth.
My dick pressed against my trousers. I’d never even consider asking another girl to do this. But Emily was so willing, so open minded…
“Want to know what you taste like?” I murmured.
She nodded, her hair falling over her shoulders.
Gently, I pushed my fingers deeper into her cunt. She gasped. I could still feel the echoes of her orgasm pulsing around my fingers. I bit the inside of my lip. I had to keep it together, or I’d be coming myself in two seconds flat.
She was still soaking wet and so bloody soft, my heart stopped beating for a moment.
I brought my finger to her lips. She took it into her mouth, sucking gently.
I imagined it was my cock she was sucking, her tongue swirling around its head.
I gritted my teeth. Pulled my finger out of her mouth.
Emily bit her bottom lip. She had this look on her face. This softness, this openness.
She slid her hand between us, and then she was unbuttoning my trousers, pulling them down, pulling down my boxer briefs, too. All the while her eyes never left mine.
This bloody girl was driving me crazy.
I nearly came when she wrapped her hand around my cock. I was huge, swollen and hot. She drew her thumb across a bead of pre-cum, smearing it over the head. I sucked in a breath.
She looked at me. “Fuck my mouth,” she said.
I searched her eyes. Her gaze was steady.
She trusted me.
She was really trusting me. My heart swelled. I was honored by her trust. Aroused by it, obviously. But wouldn’t I eventually have to betray that trust? Wouldn’t I eventually have to give her up?
I blinked, shoving the thought from my head. I’d think about that later. We’d already crossed so many lines tonight. We’d already made a mockery of the contract we’d signed. What did it matter what happened next? It was all wrong.
Pressing a kiss onto Em’s neck, I rose to my feet. I took my dick in my right hand and gave it a quick tug. Emily sat up, reaching for me.
She met my eyes. Leaning forward, she licked the tip of my dick before swallowing me whole.
When I hit the back of her throat, I knew I was done for. I grabbed the back of the chair and bucked my hips and thrust in her mouth, holding her head in my other hand as I moved in and out, in and out of her mouth, savage and wild and out of control.
A sense of incredible freedom washed over me. Sure, I’d gotten head plenty of times before. But it had never been like this. It had never been so coarse or so intense or so bloody sexy. I kept waiting for it to feel wrong. For my well-honed sense of duty to swoop in and ruin the moment.
But when I was with Emily, duty fell away. The things I felt for her were so big and so powerful I didn’t have room inside me for anything else. Forget obligations, the things I owed the family, the things I should do. With Emily, I was finally doing what I wanted.
Maybe recklessness wasn’t such a bad thing. Maybe I actually needed it to feel whole. Happy. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Maybe there were risks worth taking.
I looked down at her face.
Her eyes met mine. More, they said. Give me everything you’ve got.
Her mouth was hot and wet. If her mouth felt this good, I could only imagine the heaven of her pussy.
I pulled out of her mouth.
I was shaking with impatience.
I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, pulled her against me. I crushed my mouth to hers, kissing her deep and hard and messy, our tongues tangling as I pulled her dress off and pulled her bra down. I cupped her breast in my hand. It was full, swollen. Her nipple pebbled against my palm.
I groaned.
“You’re so responsive to me,” I said against her mouth.
Her eyelashes fluttered against my cheek. “Only to you,” she panted. “It’s not—I’m never—I’m never like this with anyone else.”
“Me neither,” I said, biting the corner of her mouth.
I knew it would never be like this with anyone else again.
My heart ached. My dick throbbed.
Everything hurt. Everything was so intense. I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t stop.
I wrapped an arm around her waist and tossed her onto the bed. The duvet sighed beneath her. Her hair, dark red in this light, spread around her head in a halo. A flush sprawled across her chest. Her tits sat high and perfect and swollen. Her skin was freckled, pale. Her eyes were on me.
Her legs were bent. They wavered together before falling apart.
She was still wearing those fuck me heels of hers.
“Kit,” she pleaded. She was reaching down, she was taking off her thong.
She was touching herself.
Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.
I unbuttoned my shirt with hands that trembled. I made quick work of my bowtie, shoes, socks, trousers and underwear.
Emily’s eyes were as wet and aroused as her cunt as her fingers moved between her legs.
I felt like I was in a trance. I reached for my dick and gave it another tug. Emily’s eyes went dark. Her chest rose and fell as she breathed, harder and harder, her hips moving against her hand.
“I want to make love to you bare,” I said. “Do we need protection?”
Her lips parted. “I’m on the pill. And I’m clean.”
“I am as well. I trust you, love.”
Emily’s eyes held mine for a long moment. “I trust you, too,” she whispered.
I climbed onto the bed. Climbed between Emily’s legs. I grabbed one of them and bent it, guiding her knee up to her chest. I ducked my head, took her nipple in my mouth. She moaned, arching against me.
I covered her body with mine, resting my weight on my forearm beside her head. Her fingers were still on her pussy when I reached down and guided myself into her slit. I closed my eyes, took a deep, steadying breath. She felt so good. So hot and tight and soft and swollen.
I nudged her fingers aside with the tip of my bare cock, circling it around her clit.
“Kit,” she pleaded.
I pulled back my hips, guiding my dick to her center. I knew this was going to feel good.
But I hadn’t anticipated how right it would feel, too. Emily’s eyes were on my eyes. Her body was warm underneath mine, her nipples brushing against my chest with every breath she took. She was trusting me. Devouring me. I wanted to take her. Protect her. Make her scream.
I wanted everything she was. Everything she could give me.
For a moment I fantasized that she wasn’t on the pill. That we were going to do this raw anyway because we were trying to make a baby.
Because we were starting a family.
An arrow of longing shot through my chest.
I blinked. This was too much. I was feeling too much. I open the door inside me a crack, and then this happens. I’m hit by a deluge of epic proportions.
I settled myself in the cleft of her pussy. Her hands slid around my hips, urg
ing me closer.
I met her eyes. Then I reached up and took her hand in mine, holding it above her head. Her eyes darkened.
I love you, I wanted to say.
Em, I’ve been in love with you since forever.
I love you, but I can’t have you, and it is tearing me apart.
I reared back, careful to keep most of my weight on my arm. I felt unsteady. But I’d be damned if I hurt her.
And then I surged forward, gliding into her tight heat in a long, slow stroke. She felt so bloody perfect like this. So good that I had to close my eyes and take a breath to keep from blowing my load right then.
I grunted. Emily’s breath caught in her throat. I bent my neck and covered her mouth with mine. I didn’t waste a moment. I began to move in earnest, rolling my hips, and then she was rolling her hips, too, meeting me as I thrust into her again and again and again, slowly, deeply, her pussy’s grip on me tight and hot. I swiped my thumb across the back of her hand. She squeezed my fingers.
We moved together, our mouths catching, our breaths ragged and uneven.
The walls of her cunt fluttered. She was going to come again.
Letting her hand go, I wrapped an arm around her waist. Without leaving her, I managed to flip us over so that I was on the bottom and she was on top of me.
Emily’s eyes were wide when they met mine.
“I’m going to make you come again,” I said. “Sit up.”
She did as I told her, straddling my hips as she straightened. She was already rolling her hips against me, whimpering.
“Kit, please,” she said.
I slid my hands up her thighs. “It’s okay, love. I’ve got you.”
Emily nodded, her hair falling over her shoulders as she let her head fall back. The lips of her pussy were spread around me. I reached down and pressed my thumb to her clit. She gasped.
With my other hand, I reached up and ran my palm over her nipple. Her cunt fluttered around me again, stronger this time.
“Good?” I panted.
She nodded. “Perfect. So perfect.”
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