I shake my head, laughing and walk around the table. Leaning over, I give her a big bear hug and kiss her forehead. “Okay, I get your point. I’ll think about it.”
Jules pats my arm. “That’s more like it.”
Picking up the last M&M in front of her, I pop it in my mouth. “I got box seats to the Cards’ game next month. Let me take you and Bentley for being such an ass.”
Her eyes light up. “Peanut butter M&Ms and tickets to the Cardinals, you know how to make a girl happy. Bentley’s lucky he snatched me off the market before we followed through on our pact.”
I laugh as I shake my head. At least I know how to please one woman.
Sloan
“Oh, this one is my favorite!” my sister squeals, pointing to a picture on her laptop. “No, this one! I can’t make up my mind. How am I going to decide which ones to put in the album?”
Sitting beside her on the couch in my parents’ living room, I bite my bottom lip to keep from crying. Sissy continues to click through the photos while I stare at the screen, my eyes glazed over, not paying attention to the images. When I got married, Cooper picked out the photos for our wedding album, the book that’s now long gone just like him.
Her sharp elbow to my ribs breaks my concentration and I look to where she’s pointing. “Look at you, Lolo. You’re so happy.” The computer shows Smitty and I dancing, neither of us looking at the camera, only into each other’s eyes. If you look closely, you can see my lips moving while I serenade him.
“Girls, dinner’s ready,” my father announces from the hallway.
I quickly close the laptop and stand up, relieved not to have to relive that moment. Sissy and I make our way to the dining room where our normal, chaotic Sunday dinner begins—Gavin exaggerating his story about arresting a drunk guy, Will trying to top it with his version of a drunk guy at the gym, Sissy giggling hysterically at her husband while my parents sit at the end of the table, holding hands, and smiling while they take in their family in front of them. I clear my throat and everyone turns their attention to me, even Gavin who is in the middle of interrogating Will about his story.
“I’m going out of town next week,” I tell them, using my fork to push my salad around my plate.
“Where to, Sloaney?” my father asks, his voice is stern yet I can tell he’s trying not to be.
Still staring at the lettuce in front of me, I casually answer, “Italy.”
My mother’s fork drops to her plate while my sister gasps. I glance at my father, who is leaning forward, elbows on table, his eyebrows drawn into a narrow V.
“Did I hear you correctly that you’re going to Italy? How long?” he demands.
I shrug. “I don’t know yet. Oliver said I could stay as long as I wanted. I’ll use his place as my base and travel throughout the area to check on the franchises I set up last time I was there.” I’m trying to be as nonchalant as I can. Play it off as a business trip although everyone around the table knows it’s my escape from reality.
Oliver is Cooper’s older brother. I never met him until my wedding anniversary when a one-way ticket to Italy arrived in the mail. Needing something, anything to pull me out of the dark hole I was falling in, I took the trip and discovered exactly what I needed. A refuge where I could be surrounded by Cooper without fearing for my safety.
At the same exact same time, my entire family begins to talk.
“Sloan, honey, I don’t think this is a good idea,” my mother says softly.
“Your return ticket will be booked before you leave,” my father demands.
“What about Smitty?” Sissy asks.
“Maybe we should tag along,” Will says with a grin.
But it’s my brother’s words that I concentrate on. “I think it’s a great idea, Lo.” He places his hand on top of mine and squeezes.
Knowing Gavin has my back, my confidence surges and I face my parents. “I just need some time to regroup. I’ll leave two weeks from today, my business appointments are already scheduled, and my return flight will be exactly one month after I leave.”
My father relaxes slightly and my mother nods. Now, I turn my attention to Will and Sissy and answer them. “You’re welcome to come visit, Oliver loves company. Smitty was a fun time in Jamaica and that’s it.”
Sissy leans toward me, her eyebrows raised, almost taunting me. “If he was just a good time, then why are you running to Oliver?”
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Busted! Smitty is the exact reason I’m spending the next month in Italy. Despite my best efforts of running mile after mile, punching the crap out of my punching bag, and coaching my clients to turn their lives around, my life is falling deeper and deeper into that black hole. The same black hole that I fell down after Cooper died and the one I almost did after Caroline’s accident.
I can’t get Smitty out of my mind. Everything reminds me of him—a construction truck driving down the highway, a man wearing a worn Cardinals cap, a deep belly laugh. Maybe part of me wants it to be him, but at the same time, it scares me to think about coming face to face with him again.
I shrug and stab the lettuce on my plate. “Being in Italy always motivates me to work harder and find more ways to expand my business.”
Sissy scoffs and stands up. “Sure, Sloan, say that, but we aren’t stupid.”
“Cicily, that’s enough,” my mother scolds her, trying to end the conversation.
“No, Mother, it’s not. Sloan found someone who makes her happy. You saw her in Jamaica! She was a whole new woman. Smitty made you happy and you’re scared. You need to face the facts, Sloan. Tell him the truth and make it work.” Sissy yells at me, taking us all by surprise.
“Guess you won’t be taking me to the airport,” I mutter, trying to lighten the mood.
Without a word, Sissy walks out of the room, Will right behind her. Sighing, I drop my fork. Maybe Sissy’s right, I don’t know. The only thing I do know is that if she’s correct, it’s all the more reason I need to board that flight to Italy.
Chapter 20
Smitty
Surrounded by beer and baseball, life is pretty good right now. Well, with the exception of the one thing, or person, that’s missing, but I’m not going there today. Today is about making amends with Jules and Bentley. More so Bentley as Jules forgave me right away and promised not to mention Sloan again.
The beer vendor yells, “Beer, cold beer!” over the crowd and I wave my hand to get his attention. Taking the last sip of my current drink, I order three more Buds and distribute them to my friends. The beer helps beat the heat that’s smothering us and gives us something to talk about as to avoid the awkward silence that’s been hanging over us.
“Thanks, Smitty,” Jules says, taking the beer and putting it in the cupholder in front of her.
“Yeah, thanks,” Bentley mutters, his arm around the back of Jules’ seat. This is going to be harder than I thought.
We all go back to watching the game in silence, only the crack of the bat and cheers from the crowd fill the empty noise. Sitting between us, Jules stands up and looks from Bentley to me. “I’m going to the bathroom. Need anything?”
I shake my head and Bentley starts to stand. “I’ll go with you.”
She places her hand firmly on his shoulder and pushes him back in his seat. “I’ll be fine. Enjoy the game.” She steps over him and looks at me, lifting her eyebrow and I get the hint.
After she leaves, Bentley and I go back to watching the game quietly. The score is still nothing-nothing against the Reds and Yadier Molina steps up to the plate. The count gets to three-two when he bombs it past the outfield for a two-run homer. The whole stadium is on their feet as he rounds the bases and the fireworks go off. The crowd calms down as Yadi makes his way back to the dugout.
I look over at Bentley. “That was a nice shot.”
He nods and sips his beer. “Yeah, it was.”
Silence. I stare back at the field as the Reds make the third out and the teams swi
tch places. I search the bottom of my beer cup for courage. I need to have this talk with Bentley so I can officially close the chapter on Sloan. One apology and I can push her out of my mind forever. Ha—yeah right!
I turn my head to look at him. “Look, Bentley, I’m really sorry about what happened at the airport. I was out of line and should have never said those things to Jules.”
He finishes off his beer and sets the empty cup on the ground. Without looking at me, he says, “You’re right. You were extremely out of line and you’re lucky I didn’t kick your ass for talking to my wife that way.”
I hang my head and my stomach sinks. Jules may be his wife, but she’s been my friend forever, I helped raise her. It’s been my job to protect her much longer than it’s been his and I failed. I wish he had kicked my ass, I deserve it.
“But,” he says and we look at each other, “love makes us do stupid stuff, like when I didn’t tell Jules I was still married when we met. I was afraid I’d lose her and I knew that wasn’t an option. Luckily, Jules had you and the guys when I hurt her and I vowed no one would ever do that to her again. You, Smitty, have us now to help you out. Sloan may have pushed you away, but if you love her, or you think there’s even a small possibility of it, then you need to fight for her. Find her, make her hear you, figure out why she’s scared, and let her know that you’re going to take all her fears away. Smitty, ‘ya gotta fight for her, you’re just fighting the wrong person.”
The crowd cheers around us, but I have no idea what’s going on in the baseball game. Bentley’s words hit me hard. I’m fighting this battle, but with all the wrong people. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I need to fight for my girl.
Sloan
The cool air flow in the bathroom is a welcome relief from the muggy St. Louis air that’s hanging over Busch Stadium. I slowly pull my long hair above my shoulders and into a ponytail. My brother won’t mind if I take my time since we’ve already been mistaken for boyfriend and girlfriend twice and according to him, I’m killing his game.
On the second loop of the elastic hairband, it snaps and flies across the room. Sighing, I drop my hair and let it fall around my shoulders. Behind me, I hear someone throwing up in one of the stalls. I look back in the direction of the sound, wondering if I should ask if she’s okay, but decide it’s probably best if I mind my own business. I turn on the water and wash my hands. The stall with the puke sounds opens and a brunette in a badazzled Cards’ shirt walks to the sink beside me, splashing water on her face.
Reaching for a paper towel, I dry off my hands and hand her one. “You okay?”
She takes the towel, wiping off her face and nodding. “Yeah, I guess I ate something that didn’t sit well.”
Mmhmm…I’ve heard that before from lots of my female clients who ended up with a bundle of joy in their arms nine months later, not to mention this woman is obviously glowing and it’s not from the heat. “I hope you feel better.”
“Thanks,” she mumbles.
I nod and take a step toward the exit. Someone grabs my arm and I turn my head to look at the brunette. Her mouth is open and her eyes are wide. “Oh… my… You’re Sloan!”
I shift uncomfortably and try to pull my arm back, but she holds on to me. Lots of my clients recognize me out in public, but I’ve never been called out by a total stranger. Although taking in her features more closely now, she does seem familiar to me, but I can’t place her. I nod politely and look at her grasp on my arm. “Yes. And you are…?”
She realizes she’s still holding on to me and lets go. I take a step back to put some space between us because I have no idea what this woman is thinking.
“I’m Jules, Smitty’s friend. Wow! You’re even more gorgeous in person.”
My stomach drops at the sound of his name. At first, I wonder what picture she saw and I hope it’s not the ones on his phone. More importantly though, what if Smitty’s around? What if he’s waiting outside for her?
Jules’ hands are now on my shoulders and she gives me a firm shake. “He’s miserable, Sloan. You have to talk to him.”
I swallow and look around the room for an escape. Curiosity is creeping in on me and I try to push it away. I’d love to see his smile, hear his laugh, but no, that would mean I’d have to talk to him, tell him the truth that will make him hate me. At the same time, it pains me to know that he’s miserable. I’m sure given enough time, he’ll push me away from his memory and he won’t remember our time together.
Jules shakes my shoulders again. “Sloan, you brought back the old Smitty. I don’t know what freaked you out, but please, talk to him. I’m sure you two can work it out.”
I shrug out of her grip and take a step backward. “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to him. Please tell him I’m sorry.”
Jules’ eyes narrow and she moves her hands to her hips. “Tell him yourself. You broke it, you fix it.”
Sighing, I nod. Fair enough, but I can’t, I’ll only make it worse. I step back to Jules and pull her into a hug. When I lean away, I look into her eyes as I speak. “I can’t fix it and I wish I could, Jules. Please take care of him for me.” My hand moves to hers and I give it a light squeeze. “And congrats on the pregnancy.”
Jules’ mouth drops and she stutters over her words, trying to object. I press her hand again, remembering Smitty telling me about Jules’ fear of being a mother. “Relax, you’ll do great. You’re a natural nurturer, your child will be lucky to have you, just like Smitty is lucky to have you as a friend. Please take care of him.”
Tears are in her eyes as she nods. I give her another hug and quickly run out of the bathroom. Glancing up and down the corridor, I don’t see Smitty anywhere in sight. With the coast clear, I make my way back to my seat. Less than twenty-four hours and there will be almost five-thousand miles between Jacob Smith and myself. Then I’ll be well on my way to getting over my own broken heart.
Chapter 21
Smitty
Reggae music plays softly over the speakers of my computer. It’s been almost a month since Bentley convinced me to fight for Sloan. I’ve done everything I can to find her, but I’ve hit a dead end. Still, I’m determined to not give up. I know Sloan is my future and we’ll find each other some way. In the meantime, I’ve surrounded myself with her. I have her picture on my desktop, a playlist from our vacation, and I check her website daily to find out when she’ll be back from “making healthier lives wordwide.”
Hunched over my drafting table, biting the side of my lip as I concentrate on the new set of plans I’m drawing, I hear the door to my office open. I glance up to see who it is and do a double take when I recognize her. Her face lights up and I straighten. When I walk toward her, she opens her arms to give me a hug. Smiling, I wrap my arms around her and pat her back.
“Smitty! How’ve you been?” Sissy asks as we release each other.
I point to the two chairs by my desk and we both sit down. “I’ve been…okay.” I’m not really sure how to answer that. I don’t want to sound pathetic by saying I’ve been searching for her sister, who obviously isn’t doing the same, but I don’t want to sound so nonchalant that she doesn’t think I’m still interested either. We make small talk, discussing her life as a newlywed and telling her more about my business until we hit a lull and neither of us can find anything else to discuss, except one topic.
Sissy fiddles with the hem of her dress then looks up at me. “Sloan, well, my whole family, would probably kill me if they found out I’m here, but I have to know. Is there…Do you want to see Sloan?”
I don’t care about looking desperate, I nod my head emphatically. “I’ve been searching for her, but her website and her office say she’s out of the country. Is she?”
Sissy pushes her lips together, trying to decide what to say before speaking. “She is. She’s in Italy with Cooper’s brother. This is what she does. When something bad happens, she runs. She says she’s able to clear her mind, think better when every day distractions aren�
��t around her.” Sissy shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe it works. Both times she’s come back from there and she is refreshed, rejuvenated, but I think this time is a cop out.”
I raise my eyebrow. “So Sloan and I being together was a bad thing?”
Sissy laughs and shakes her head. “No, not at all! That’s what I’m saying, the last two times she went were after the accidents. This time there was no accident. Fate brought you two together and I think she’s just running to Oliver because she’s scared. She’s scared that falling for you means she’s letting go of Cooper. She can’t remember what it feels like to love someone like that or to be loved and it frightens her.”
My heart skips a beat because I know exactly what she’s describing. Still, I can’t help but wonder what kind of relationship Sloan and Oliver have, but there’s something else Sissy says that has be even more perplexed. “What do you mean the accidents? I’m assuming after Cooper’s death, but what was the other accident?”
Sissy looks away from me, clearly avoiding eye contact. I lean forward and touch her hand. “Come on, Sis. Talk to me. I need all the help I can to get her back.”
Slowly, she redirects her attention to me and nods. “It’s not my place to tell you about the other one. Sloan will have to do that.”
“Okay, but how can I find her?” My heart races, waiting for Sissy to give me any info that will lead me to Sloan.
Sissy digs around in her purse and pulls out an envelope, handing it to me. “Her flight gets in early tomorrow afternoon. I told her I’d try to pick her up, but if she didn’t see me to grab a cab. I’m supposed to meet her at baggage claim.”
I tear open the envelope and my face breaks into a grin. Inside is the golden ticket to get my girl back. Sissy stands up and looks down at me. “Don’t push, let her take the lead. She’ll tell you when she’s ready, but don’t take no for an answer.”
Book Boyfriends Cafe Summer Lovin' Anthology 2015 Page 210