When Aaron Hawkins stood across the table from her, she looked up in surprise. She hadn’t seen him since he left the house, but then she’d been pretty focused on registration. Now, he was the last person in line and trying to register, which Hannah just couldn’t allow.
“Oh, no, we invited you to cover the event, you don’t have to pay the fee,” she told him as he tried to hand her a check. The we was a bit of a stretch. Malinda had invited him, but as yin and yang, they were two parts of a whole, so Hannah could to take partial responsibility the invite.
“I’m not a freeloader. Just because I’m here for work doesn’t mean I’m not going to contribute to the cause,” he said over the buzz of the other riders. He placed a check on the table and picked up a pen to sign the waiver.
“Write a good story, that’s how you can contribute to the cause,” she retorted.
Malinda reached across, practically clothes-lining Hannah, and picked up the check. “I won’t say no to your money,” she said, slipping the check into the plastic satchel holding all the money. “Give him a coupon for the cookout.”
Ok, so this wasn’t the last she would see of the sexy reporter. As Hannah’s eyes zeroed in on his luscious lips, she caught herself licking her own. Biting on her lip to snap out of the forming fantasy, Hannah concluded that, of course he would be attend the cookout. He needed to include that in his story. Aaron was just being a thorough reporter. It had nothing to do with the way he watched her earlier, or how he touched her hand, or how he’d given her a fever. Nope. He was there for work, had a story to write.
And what a story it would be. Now that the riders were registered and had dispersed from the table, Hannah caught site of the parking lot. It was overwhelming and humbling. Motorcycles filled the lot. Filled it! She knew there were a lot of riders because she’d been collecting money for over an hour, but to see the parking lot full like it was …
Hannah tried not to let the pain of her loss overshadow the moment. All of these people had come to honor Steven. They may not have known him, but they chose to fight back in his honor. She looked up into the clear blue sky. He was there somewhere, she was sure of it, smiling down at them – at her. As her eyes filled with tears, she smiled back.
“Are you okay?” Aaron asked, his hand resting on her arm. The heat from his touch brought her gaze back from the heavens or was it taking her to heaven?
“That’s a lot of bikes,” she said, nodding toward the swarm that filled the lot. “I’m just … well, it’s just …” Her cheeks flamed again. Words, dammit! Words would be good right now, but she couldn’t find any.
“Overwhelming?” he asked, trying to help with her vocab problems.
She laughed on a sigh. Overwhelming? Definitely. That still didn’t quite describe the moment. She panned around the parking lot until her eyes came to rest on Aaron’s again. “Awesome. It’s just awesome.”
“Amen to that, sista,” Malinda chimed in as she made her way back to the table. Hannah hand’t even realized Malinda was gone. She figured L must have taken care of the money. That was pretty important, no one wanted to hang on to what must be a couple thousand dollars while going on a hundred mile motorcycle excursion. Plus, Malinda’s bike didn’t have saddle bags.
“You ready?” Malinda asked, touching Hannah’s arm in the same spot where Aaron’s hand had been. Hannah hadn’t even realized his hand wasn’t there, the residual heat from his touch still burning through her.
Was she ready? Yeah, right. Like she would ever be ready for what she was about to do. Hannah hated speaking in public. Hell, she couldn’t even get through her wedding vows without a hiccup or two. How was she going to give a speech to a crowd of well over a hundred? And, for some unknown reason, knowing Aaron Hawkins was in the crowd, hanging on every word for the sake of the story, made her even more nervous.
How couldn’t be part of the equation. It didn’t matter how. She just had to do it.
Reverend Brandi Peabody offered a prayer and blessed the ride, giving Hannah few minutes to mentally prepare for her speech.
Taking a deep breath, Hannah spoke on the exhale. “Normally we invite a survivor to speak before the ride, but since this year marks the fifth anniversary of Steven’s death, the family asked me to speak on Steven’s behalf.”
With sweaty, shaking hands, Hannah crushed the speech between her fingers and palmand pulled her sunglasses onto her face to mask her eyes. She thought for sure she was going to lose it and cry in front of the whole crowd, but wearing the sunglasses helped shield the emotions. It also helped that there wasn’t a microphone, forcing Hannah to yell in order to reach the entire crowd. Yelling tamed the other emotions rocking through her. With another deep breath, she focused on the page clenched in her hand, belting out the words that would soon be more than just black ink on white paper.
“Steven would have loved everyone coming together like this to fight back against this horrible disease. He wouldn’t have wanted the attention for himself, but would have loved that this one thing we all have in common, these motorcycles, would bring us together. He would have loved the opportunity to fight back with us. If he were here, he would thank each and every one of you for your thoughtfulness and commitment. Especially those of you who have been with us over the years.
“As many of you know, forty percent of the funds raised through Relay For Life go directly to fund research. It’s that research which finds cures and it’s those cures that prevent even more lives being lost to this horrible disease. A disease that takes many forms and shows no bias.”
Breath, she thought to herself, realizing she had hardly taken one since starting, but as she let the air deep into her lungs and prepared for the next sentence, Hannah almost choked on the anger pounding in her chest and seething in her throat. She swallowed hard, hoping she didn’t mix up her breathing and swallowing mechanisms. She didn’t need to choke in front of all these riders.
“Anyone can get cancer. At any time. Many of you have been personally touched by cancer, and you’re here today, taking up the fight so we can see an end to this disease in our lifetime.” She paused again, trying to do the breathing thing. Just two more sentences. Two more sentences. Come on, you can do this.
“Thank you, on behalf of Steven and our whole family, thank you for fighting back with us today. As Steven would say, let’s saddle up!”
Hannah’s tunnel vision expanded as she finally looked up from the paper crinkled by her clenched fists. Her focus, however, was lost as the tears pooled high above her pupils. Applause thundered as she tried to breathe. Deep breath in. And out. In again. Out.
She offered a humble smile to the crowd before heading for Steven’s bike because she didn’t know what the hell else to do. Hannah needed to get all these emotions under control before rolling out of the parking lot behind a century of motorcycles. She continued breathing, in and out, in and out, while bee-lining for the Softail.
The breathing seemed to help. That, and the site of Steven’s motorcycle. Relief began to wash through her. She had done it, had given her little speech and didn’t pass out in the middle or break down in a fit of tears.
A hand landed on her shoulder. For a fleeting moment Hannah hoped it wasn’t Aaron Hawkins. Those brown eyes and electric touch were not the distraction she needed right now. The lack of electricity in that heavy hand made her realize it couldn’t be him unless he suddenly lost his fever-inducing superpower.
Hannah slowed her forward momentum and turned to see Steven’s friend Jerry had fallen in step with her. Jerry had been Steven’s riding buddy. At well over six feet tall, he towered over Hannah by almost a foot. His burly frame and long, heavy arms made him look like a hairless New England version of Sasquatch.
“I’m going to get this thing rolling, if you’re ready,” he said, keeping pace with her. Jerry always led the ride. It was his way of fighting back. When Hannah had formed the Relay team, he approached her about doing the fundraiser. Jerry and Steven had been on
countless rides together, so this was a perfect way to honor his friend, raise money, and awareness in his name.
“Just gimme two minutes,” she said as they reached the Softail.
“Two minutes or ten. Whatever you need, Han,” Jerry said with both sincerity and concern in his voice.
He was looking beyond the sunglasses, Hannah knew, to all the emotion pooling in her eyes and stinging her chest, but she was as ready as she would ever be. Fiddling around the parking lot for another ten minutes would do nothing to further prepare her for the long ride. “I’m good, Jer. Just two minutes.”
He nodded and sauntered off to his Harley at the front of the parking lot where he raise a hand and give the rally signal. The other bikers wouldn’t waste any time getting saddled, so Hannah pulled the leather jacket off the bike, slid her arms in and zipped up. After fastening the helmet, she straddled the Softail and pulled on her leather gloves. She was ready. She took a deep breath, which seemed to be a ritual not just today, but any time she started up the bike, and ran through her failsafe acronym to get the bike humming.
Hannah waited patiently as Jerry led the pack onto Main Street. The police were there to stop traffic while all the bikes exited the large parking lot. Forty-six riders had registered this morning, bringing the total number of motorcycles up to 132. Hannah thought it looked like a parade as the bikes motored slowly out of the lot, heading west on 302.
Malinda saddled up next to her and got her bike going too. Hannah smiled as the two waited for all the bikes to leave. They would be bringing up the rear. It wasn’t Malinda’s preference, but Hannah insisted. She didn’t want to get lost in the middle of the pack, not with her novice experience, and though she had encouraged Malinda to ride within the pack, she was happy her friend, her yang, was riding with her.
The pace was steady, bordering on the slow side as they passed through Bath village, where residents and tourists stood on the green. From the corner of her eye, Hannah could see the spectators clapping, but couldn’t hear the applause over the thunder of the bikes. The crowd of people, even in the blur of her periphery, humbled her. Most hadn’t known Steven, but their presence still honored him and the fight back against cancer.
Hannah took it slow as the century of bikes snaked left onto Route 112. Stopping and starting again always made her nervous, especially on 302 with cars and trucks lined up behind the slow procession of motorcycles. So, she kept her distance and slithered slowly back and forth, hoping to avoid removing her feet from the pegs and putting them to pavement.
The journey took them over Kinsman Notch, into North Woodstock, then through Franconia Notch. She had been on this ride dozens of times with Steven, and knew what a scenic vista the notches offered, but she didn’t see any of it today. Her eyes remained focused on the road ahead, the scenery in her periphery just a temptation that wasn’t enticing enough to distract her from the road.
When they came to their planned stop in Twin Mountain, Hannah was relieved to take her helmet off, stretch her legs, and feel the warm May breeze on her cheeks.
“How you doin’, Palindrome?” Malinda asked as they climbed off their bikes.
“Good.” Breathing in the fresh breeze, she did a quick squat, then stood up and kicked each leg out, cracking the stiff bones into a limber relief. “I just need some water.”
She no sooner said it when Jerry tossed a couple bottles their way.
Malinda managed to catch both and handed one to her as Jerry nodded his bald head and continued on his hydration mission.
Hannah took a long chug, her mouth as dry as cotton. After a quick breath, she swallowed another long chug.
Coming up for air again, her breath hitched as she eyes found Aaron across the parking lot. He was talking to a group of riders, but watching her, his smile and the dimple formed from the cleft in his chin causing her heart to skip a beat.
“Why don’t you go talk to him,” Malinda suggested, nudging Hannah with her elbow.
“Who?” Hannah asked. She put the water bottle down on the seat and started fiddling with her fingers, making like she was digging out a hangnail.
“Who?” Malinda mocked her. “You an owl now? And stop digging at your fingers. It doesn’t fool me and you’re just going to make yourself bleed.”
“I really hate you sometimes, you know that?” Knowing someone your entire life didn’t always work in your favor. Particularly when you’re trying to hide something. Or lie. Hannah’s talents with either of those skills were non-existent, especially when it came to her yang.
“You should go for it, Han. You haven’t had a date in centuries. You could use a man in your life.”
Hannah gave up on the pursuit of the non-existent hangnail. Malinda wasn’t buying it anyway. The conversation had taken a turn to where she could be honest. Mostly.
“I’m not interested in dating. You know that.” She grabbed the water bottle off the motorcycle and took another long chug.
“What are you doing for sex?” Malinda asked point blank.
Water shot out of Hannah’s mouth, liquid shrapnel exploding all over Malinda’s shirt.
“What?” she asked, a little shocked not so much by the question, but the timing and location of it. They were surrounded by other riders. Of course, everyone was caught up in their own conversations but still.
“S-E-X. Sex. What are you doing to take care of yourself. Left hand? Right hand? Shower Massager? Vibrator?”
Try all of the above, Hannah thought as she scanned the parking lot, hoping Aaron Hawkins hadn’t seen the liquid explosion. “Seriously, L, we’re not having this conversation here or anywhere. It’s none of your business. I’m fine. Really.” Yeah, that sounded convincing.
“Really? Fine? Because I’m sure you’re not, and whatever you’re doing to take care of yourself doesn’t compare to a man’s touch. You know that. It’s just human nature, Han. We’re sexual beings. You need some co-ed intimacy in your life. You know as well as I do Steven would want you to move on.”
A man’s touch. She’d almost forgotten what a man’s touch felt like. She thought about Aaron Hawkins’ luscious mouth and strong hands and longed to remember. “So you’re encouraging me to have a fling?” Yeah, Steven would so want her to do that!
“I’m encouraging you to move on. Aaron’s hot. He’s charming. Smart. Single. He’s the right age. Owns a house. Has a job. Goes to church. Doesn’t have any bad habits as far as I know. He’s as perfect as it gets.”
“Then why don’t you date him?” she blurted, the finger fiddle starting again.
“Huh, maybe I will.”
Like hell, she thought as her gaze shot up to Malinda’s. She knew she was busted when she saw the gotcha smile stretched across Malinda’s face.
Shit! She started in on the other hand, hoping to find a hangnail there to keep her busy.
“If you were Medusa, I’d be stone right now,” Malinda said. “You can’t tell me you’re not interested in him.”
Sure she could, and damn her neatly manicured nails! Hannah tucked her hands into her pockets and scanned the parking lot again for the sexy reporter. He was nowhere to be seen. Well, that made it easier to lie. “I’m not interested, so stop pushing it. A debate about me dating, or my sex life, is not what I need today. I need to focus on the ride.”
“You’re hanging in there fantabulously,” Malinda said.
Hannah laughed at Malinda’s eclectic vocabulary, happy her friend knew when to stop pushing her buttons.
“It’s a little unnerving being part of such a big group, but I feel good. Thanks for hanging back with me.”
“Yeah, I thought being in the middle of the pack would be cool, but I have to be honest, I think I prefer it at the back. And I like riding with you.” Malinda took a step closer to Hannah and gave her a hug, which she welcomed. She had never been much of a hugger, but Malinda’s whole family was, so she’d been forced to adapt even before marrying into the family.
“Looks like we’r
e getting ready to roll again,” Hannah said, noticing riders mounting their bikes.
“You set?” Malinda asked as she let go of Hannah.
“Absolutely!” She subtly scanned the parking lot again looking for the sexy reporter, fitting the helmet and strapping it tight. Again, he was nowhere to be seen.
Her heart dropped a little and frustration built. Hannah didn’t want to feel like this. She didn’t want to see him, to know where he was. She didn’t want to feel disappointment when she didn’t find him and didn’t want her heart to keep doing these little beat-skipping and weight-dropping exercises. She convinced herself it was probably a good thing she couldn’t find him. She needed to focus on the ride, not on Aaron Hawkins and his sexy everything.
As the riders paraded two by two out of the parking lot, Hannah went through her trusted routine, following the FINE-CC sequence. Then she and Malinda rolled out behind the pack.
~*~
Hannah smelled the burn of charcoal and lighter fluid as the bikes rolled down the long driveway at Steven’s parents’ house. The large yard looked like a giant steel flowerbed, the bloom of motorcycles in all colors and varieties blanketing the lush green grass.
She parked next to the small concrete porch at the front of the big Victorian. Hannah’s was the last engine to cut out. She expected a peaceful quiet with voices adrift on the light breeze, but as she pulled her helmet off, the thunder of applause and the roar of cheers echoed around her. Her cheeks burned when she realized the applause was directed at her.
The veteran riders all knew this was her first year riding. She bit her lip, modesty overriding the pride she felt from having completed the ride. When Tabitha nearly tackled her, Hannah let her smile out.
Book Boyfriends Cafe Summer Lovin' Anthology 2015 Page 216