Oh God, she began to writhe under his touch. Her hands were no longer cold and clammy, but soft and warm as she clutched the muscles of his back, pulling him closer to her.
Her breathing grew deeper and hurried under the pleasure of his touch.
Oh, foreplay was good. Better than good. It was fan-freakin-tastic. I should say something, she thought to herself. Tell him how good that feels … so he’ll keep doing it. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Hannah was so close to having an orgasm, she definitely didn’t want him to stop. She felt like a silly virgin, wondering how to respond to his amazing touch.
But she was thirty for God’s sake. She had done this before. Sure, it had been a while, but it was supposed to be like riding a bike, right?
He shifted his hand, his fingers going deeper, his thumb hitting just the right spot under the lateral seam of her panties. And his tongue on her nipple … ok, yeah, she definitely needed to say something. Wanted him to keep doing that. “That feels so good, Steven,” she said with little breath in her voice.
He stopped and slowly brought his hand out from the warm, spasming depths of her body as he raised his head to look into her eyes.
“I didn’t want you to stop,” she said across a coy smile.
Aaron’s expression was too serious. Why he had stopped? Especially when she was so close to having an orgasm. God, he knew how to use his hands, and his tongue.
“Hannah, you just called me Steven.”
Embarrassment rushed through her. Had she really? His touch felt so good. She wanted to tell him. She had said Aaron. Hadn’t she?
“No, I said Aaron.” She paused for a minute, trying to remember her words, but his hands and mouth felt so good on her body, she couldn’t recall exactly what she said. “Didn’t I?”
He shook his head.
“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry.”
“Hannah, you have nothing to be sorry about. I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn’t have rushed you. You’re obviously not ready for this.”
“You didn’t rush me, Steven. I am ready. God, am I ever.” She tried to kiss him, but he pulled his head back, tilting it ever so slightly as he raised an eyebrow and grinned at her.
“What?” she asked.
“You just did it again.”
“No. Did I? Really?” She felt a burn in her cheeks as embarrassment flooded her.
“Hannah.” He held her face in his hands, forcing her to focus on the sincerity in his face. “Don’t be embarrassed. This probably wasn’t a good idea. Not here, in your room. There’s too many memories here for you.”
Well, he was right about that. There were too many memories. Steven was the only lover she had been with in this room. In this bed, but it had been over five years. Maybe she wasn’t as ready as she wanted to believe.
“How about a glass of wine?” he asked as he pulled away from and off the bed. He slipped his shirt back on and started to button it up.
Hannah quickly put herself back together, stuffing her breasts back into the lace camisole and buttoning it up. She looked up to meet his gaze despite the humiliation. How could she have called him Steven? Twice! Was it just habit, or was it something more? Maybe she wasn’t ready. She wanted to be, had convinced herself she was.
Aaron held out his hand but she didn’t take it. She just sat there, her cheeks still flushed. “I just need a minute,” she admitted. “There’s a bottle of Pinot Grigio in the fridge and a bottle of Merlot on top of the fridge. Corkscrew is hanging behind the stove. Open either one.”
He leaned down to her on the bed. “Hannah, it really is ok,” he insisted, dropping a subtle kiss on her lips.
If it’s so ok, then why aren’t we naked? Damn did she want to be naked with him. She forced a smile, hoping he would take it as his cue to leave so she could wallow in the humiliation. He seemed to get the message and when he was out of the room she hit her hands down on the bed, then beat the palm of her hand against her forehead.
Stupid! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! She had a man in her bed. An incredible man. She was about to find out just how incredible. Then she had called him the wrong name. That was something only cheating husbands did, right? Or cheating wives, she thought as her thumb tapped the gold band encircling her finger.
~*~
Aaron finished buttoning his shirt as he went to the fridge. He had hoped the night would end with his clothes off, but that wasn’t going to happen now. He could have ignored Hannah’s slip, but as soon as she said it, it felt like he was taking advantage of her. So, he let the good guy in him override the desire to be inside her. He wasn’t going to force the issue. He was in love with her and wanted to be sure she was ready. It was pretty obvious she wasn’t.
After he uncorked the merlot and poured two glasses, Aaron browsed the videos and put Jeff Dunham in the DVD player. He wasn’t about to leave her. Maybe some comedy would make her feel better about the whole situation. She was embarrassed, probably humiliated. Aaron wanted to go to her now, offer more comfort, but she’d made it clear she needed to be alone. So, he gave her some space and kept himself busy as he waited.
After about five minutes, Hannah finally appeared in the living room wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. He wondered if she still had the sexy blue lace on underneath. Oh, how he wanted to see that on her again, right before it ended up on the floor.
“I poured you a glass of merlot. It’s on the island,” he said as he fiddled with the remote. When he got the video started, he joined her in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.
“I see you have a Jeff Dunham collection. I put one in.”
“Thank you,” she said, smiling as she turned to look up at him.
Aaron returned the smile. God, she was beautiful. Even through the forced smile, she took his breath away. He really wished he could be someone other than the good guy, to give in to the urge to strip her clothes off and take her right there in the kitchen. He didn’t want to care whose name she uttered when he was inside her. But he did care, and not just about the name. So he led her to the couch and pulled her into him. Aaron was happy just holding her. God knew he wanted more, but could wait until she was ready – and he would wait. For as long as she needed.
They spent the next hour and a half laughing and by the time the video finished, Hannah seemed more relaxed.
“Will you stay?” she asked. “We don’t have to, you know, do anything. I’d just like you to stay.”
“I want to stay.” Keeping his hands off her was going to be a true test of willpower, but he didn’t want to leave either. He was grateful she wanted him to stay despite what happened.
“I’m just going to get my jamas on.” Hannah paused for a moment. “I, uh, I don’t have anything that will fit you. I don’t know what you usually wear to bed.”
“I sleep in my boxers, but I can sleep with my jeans on if that would make you more comfortable.”
“No, it wouldn’t, actually. I’m fine with you sleeping in your boxers.”
Aaron got out of his jeans and shirt and got himself under the covers. He figured it would be less awkward if he was covered up when she came back into the bedroom. When Hannah came out of the bathroom wearing a spaghetti strap tank top and athletic shorts, he adjusted the blankets to hide the sudden hard on that sexy sleepwear provoked. “Those are your pajamas?” he asked.
“Yeah. Hope you weren’t expecting something sexy. I’m a single mom. I wear what’s comfortable and appropriate for my daughter to see me in.”
Something sexy. The simple get up was just as hot as that sexy lace thing she had on earlier. He loved the lace, but this was more Hannah. The only way she could be any more sexy was if she was naked. And riding him.
It was going to be a long night.
Hannah slid under the blankets and moved close to him, nestling her back against his chest. He shifted to hide the raging hard on he had for her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Your jamas
are just about the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and, well, I just can’t get too close to you right now.”
She turned to face him. As goosebumps covered his skin, she slid her hand under the blankets, running fingers down his arm and across his hand, then onto his thigh past where his hand rested. When her fingers traveled over his boxers, Aaron worried he might bust out of them. She increased the agony when her fingers drifted along the hard ridge of his cock. She obviously liked what she found because a sexy smile spread across her lips. “I know I said we don’t have to do anything, but that doesn’t mean we can’t. I’m still willing. I still want to be with you.”
He exercised every last ounce of self-control he could muster. It didn’t matter how light her touch was, her hand was on his cock and he liked it, wanted it, wanted her. Aaron gently took her hand in his and kissed her flushed cheek. “Hannah, you have no idea how badly I want you right now.”
“So, what, did I bruise your ego? Is that why you don’t want to? Because it was just habit, you know. I do want to be with you.”
“This has nothing to do with my ego. You’re obviously not ready and I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Because I love you. If he wasn’t such a coward, he’d tell her. “So, just let me hold you, ok?”
Her long sigh told of her disappointment and he hoped his wasn’t so apparent. She shifted her body again, nuzzling into him. Aaron wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her as close as he could without violating her. It was going to be a long, lonely night, even with her in his arms.
Chapter 13
A chill raced through Hannah’s body as she awoke. Something was amiss. Or missing. Like the warmth of Aaron’s body. She blindly reached across the bed and found nothing. Her eyes shot open as she first searched the bed, then the rest of the room. He wasn’t there.
Panic rocked her. Had he snuck out in the middle of the night? She could hardly blame him. After all, in the throes of passion, she had called him the wrong name. Humiliation and disappointment still haunted her. It was supposed to be a magical night. They were going to get naked and make love and it was going to be fantastic. Then they were going to do it again. And again. And again. All night, into the morning. Sleeping wasn’t on the agenda but that’s what happened. They slept. They hadn’t even made it to naked. Not after another one of her calamities.
With eyes glued to the ceiling, Hannah stayed there for a minute, listening. Maybe he was in the kitchen, or watching Saturday morning cartoons, or reading. Maybe he was still there. She hoped. How would she ever face him again if he had run away in the middle of the night? Easy, she wouldn’t. That’d be the end of this little saga. She put all of her focus into hearing something from beyond the bedroom door, but heard nothing. He must have left.
When Hannah forced herself out of bed and reached the door, the smell fresh-brewed coffee filled her with relief. She opened the door to find Aaron sitting on one of the barstools in the kitchen, reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.
He put the paper down and smiled. “Good morning.”
“I thought you’d left,” she blurted, not meaning to say it aloud. Good morning would have been more appropriate.
Aaron walked over in his casual way. He wore the same jeans and shirt, but it wasn’t tucked in, or buttoned all the way. He looked delicious. Knowing what he looked like under the shirt, Hannah knew what she wanted for breakfast.
When he got to the spot in the living room where she was holding her ground, for whatever reason, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She tried to pull herself together. Dammit, she was being a baby. Unreasonable. There was no reason to be as upset as she still was. Burying her face in his chest, all Hannah could do was hang on to him. For dear life.
“Hannah, I’m here. I didn’t leave. I’m just a morning person. I’m usually up with the sun. You were sleeping so peacefully. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“It’s just, after last night. I just thought you left.”
He pulled away and lifted her chin so her eyes met his. “You didn’t scare me off, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
That’s exactly what she was thinking. A few weeks ago, that would have been great, but not now. “Well, you have every right …”
His lips were on hers before she could finish. Her breakfast choice warmed her from the lips down.
“Why don’t we go back to bed,” she murmured as their lips parted.
“Why don’t I pour you some coffee,” he countered as he went to the cupboard and grabbed another mug.
“I like my idea better,” she said, feeling defeated.
“Yeah, I do too,” he said and winked at her.
She cooked them some oatmeal and then they went for a walk, holding hands as they strolled in silence up Pearl Lake Road a mile or two, then back again.
The silence wasn’t deafening. It was actually comfortable. Hannah was just as at ease in complete silence as she was in full conversation with him. That was part of his charm. Part of the attraction to him.
“I owe Tabitha a date,” he said as they stepped onto the porch and sat on the creaky swing. “How about Chinese for lunch? Then the Fairbanks Museum, or maybe a picnic lunch at Moore Dam.”
Moore Dam. Nope, that was out. She had spent countless hours there with Steven and wasn’t ready to overwrite those memories. Chinese food? Like hell. Nope.
“I won’t eat Chinese food,” she said. “Maybe you could take Tabitha without me. Make it a real date. She’d love that.”
“Well, we could pack some sandwiches and go to Moore Dam,” he countered.
“I can’t,” she confessed. “Steven and I spent a lot of time at Moore Dam. I’m not ready to go there with someone else.” Kind of like how she wasn’t ready for another man to be in the bed she had shared only with her husband.
“That’s fair. We can do something else for lunch.” He really didn’t seem bothered, but admitting she didn’t want to go there was probably less of a blow than calling out her dead husband’s name while Aaron touched her.
“No, really, I’m fine with you taking Tabitha. I know she would love to go out for Chinese. She loves it and because of, well, she doesn’t get to have it very often.”
“So what’s your beef against Chinese food?” Aaron asked.
“What? Nothing. I just don’t eat it.” She so was not having this conversation. She should have just lied and said she didn’t like Chinese food. Of course, that wasn’t a total lie. The taste had always been good. The memories it stirred weren’t welcome.
“Huh. You said don’t that time. Before you said won’t.”
“Whatever. It’s not a big deal.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s ok to just tell me that.”
“Fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” Now she could change the subject. “So you can take Tabs and I’ll make dinner … if you want to have dinner with us tonight.” She hoped he did. They’d had dinner together almost every night for the last few weeks. Why change now? A little slip of the tongue in the bedroom didn’t have to screw up dinner. Maybe dinner with some more dangerous flirtation would get him back in her bed. Naked this time. Of course, Tabitha would be home tonight, so cheesecake was not on the menu for dessert. The reality was if Aaron wasn’t willing to crawl back into bed with her this morning, he probably wouldn’t be willing to tonight either.
“I’d love to have dinner with you,” he said.
A while later, Hannah’s dad dropped Tabitha off. He had to get to Lowe’s to pick up something or other for the shed he was building, so he didn’t stay long to chat. Shortly after he left, Aaron and Tabs were on their way to Chinese food and the Fairbanks Museum.
Hannah sat on the swing and watched them leave, wondering what the hell to do with herself. She wished she’d asked her Dad to pick up some WD-40 for her so she could take care of the creak in the swing. Maybe she could go herself
. First she needed to finish her coffee, and get a nice hot shower. Perhaps a cold one was more in order.
When Hannah walked into the bedroom on the way to the shower, she paused, staring and cussing at the bed. It was time for a change. That bed had always been in the same spot. It didn’t face the door directly because that wasn’t very Feng Shui. It looked like Feng Shui wasn’t working for her, so she would move it, rearrange the whole damn room. Maybe she should paint it. It was sage green, the color she and Steven had picked out together. Yeah, she needed something different. Slate gray. Maybe silver. Something. She was going to Lowe’s anyway, no big deal to pick up some paint.
Screw the shower. Hannah did a one-eighty and headed for the door, grabbing her keys and purse.
An hour later she was back with two gallons of Aubergine Garden, a couple roller brushes, a paint tin, masking tape, and new bed linens with matching curtains. Yep, an extreme make over, that’s what this room needed. That’s what she needed. Maybe it wasn’t extreme by ABC’s measure, but it was in her perfect little world.
She hadn’t put much thought into the paint color, simply picked something that was as far away from sage green as possible. Slate gray seemed a little doom and gloom, so she went with a shade of purple. Tabs would like that.
Hannah was wrestling to get the mattress off the box spring and out of the room when she heard Malinda in the kitchen.
“Palindrome! Hey, you home?”
“Yeah,” she grunted, continuing to wrestle with the queen size monstrosity that didn’t want to budge.
Book Boyfriends Cafe Summer Lovin' Anthology 2015 Page 229