Her chest had begun to rise and fall in rapid cadence. There was red flush from her neck to her cheeks. She nervously brushed her brown curls away from her face, then used that same hand to fan herself. “I think the wine’s getting to me.”
“Are you ready to head home?”
She managed to nod, then waited as he paid the check. They got back to her apartment about thirty minutes later, and he walked her to the door. She wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen now. It wasn’t as if she had any experience with dating. Finally, she blurted, “Do you want to stay the night?”
He smiled and leaned against the outside wall of her apartment. “I told myself when I arrived this afternoon that I was going to be a gentleman.”
She inhaled a shaky breath, then took a step towards him, placed one of her hands on his chest. “Jeremy, I was thinking it would be nice if you told me you wanted me so badly that being a gentleman was the last thing on your mind.”
His hand slid up her arm to her shoulder, circling the bare skin there a few times before continuing the journey to cup her cheek. “Meg, being a gentleman flew out the window the moment I kissed you earlier. I’d only leave now if you asked me to. I don’t just want you, I need you.”
“Is there a difference in the two? Wanting and needing?”
“Taken together at once, they are an entirely different thing.”
She unlocked the door and pushed inside, taking Jeremy’s hand and pulling him along behind her.
When they were in her bedroom, Jeremy wasted no time in claiming her lips. He swooped in quickly, tongue darting out to caress hers. She moaned and melded close to him, her arms hooking under his so that she could hold him to her. The air in the room was charged with their desire, and her cheeks felt so hot they might as well have been burned.
He began nibbling a path along her neck, tugging her bra strap and sleeve out of the way so that he could kiss her collarbone and shoulder as well. Meg’s head rolled back, and she enjoyed the sensation of those tiny touches as they inflamed her all the way through her limps and to her core.
“Do me a favor,” she told him, pulling away. “Stay right there and don’t move.”
She turned the knob on the lamp beside her bed, then moved to the light switch on the wall and turned it on. The ceiling fan began spinning and before returning her attention to Jeremy, she reached up on her tippy-toes to turn off the overhead light.
He’d done exactly as she’d asked, remaining in his spot and waiting for her. She stalked towards him, her fingers itching to touch him. She started by tugging his shirt from the waist of his pants, then working the buttons at the neck down. When she had them all, she put her hands inside against the naked skin of his chest and forced the two halves apart with a quick push.
When she’d met Jeremy, she’d considered him attractive, especially with those gorgeous blue eyes of his. His body type was slender and tall, but underneath his clothing revealed a man with exquisite contours. Her fingers traced the shape of his pecs, then circled each firm nipple. His chest was rising and falling as his breath quickened, but he made no move to stop her or to take control.
“I like how golden your hair is,” she murmured, following the line to where it disappeared into the waist of his jeans. Pulling his belt so that she could unbuckle it, she leaned forward to kiss his chest. After a few pecks, she enveloped one of his nipples in her mouth, then flicked her tongue across it until it puckered even tighter.
“Meg,” he growled, hands taking her hips so that he could hold her as he stepped closer and thrust his hips against her.
She could feel the hard throb of his erection against her belly and she grinned as her hands finished unfastening his jeans. With a hard shove, she pushed them down to his ankles. To her surprise, he stepped out of them and a few steps back from her until he was at her bed. Then he sat, removing his shoes so that he was completely nude.
When she started to get down on her knees to take him, he stopped her. “Your turn,” he said, leaning back onto his elbows. “Take everything off, Meg.”
“But I …”
“Please …”
Her throat was suddenly dry with panic, but the heavy-lidded intensity of his gaze mesmerized her. Drawing a long breath to sooth her nerves, she crossed her arms and took the hem of her shirt in both hands, pulling it over her head. Her hair was beginning to come loose from the barrettes she’d used to hold it back, so before going any further she unlatched them, tossing them onto the nightstand and then shaking the brown waves loose.
“You’re beautiful, Meg. Captivating.”
Slightly emboldened, Meg’s hands reached behind her to pull the four hooks of her bra apart. When it popped loose, she dropped her arms so that the straps would slide down her arms and it fell to the floor. She couldn’t help but look at herself, at the heavy swell of her breasts. Her eyes raised and it was hard to deny the true look of appreciation in Jeremy’s face as he watched her.
She looped her thumbs into the waist of her leggings, and drew them off. All she had left were a pair of black lacy boyshorts and when she started to remove them, Jeremy stopped her.
“Come here,” he said, his voice husky. She wasted no time, moving in two long strides to reach him. He palmed her breasts, coaxing her nipples into hard nubs. She sighed, closing her eyes and leaning into him. Both hands skimmed down her sides until they reached her waist. He grabbed her, digging his fingers into her backside, then slipped his hands under her panties to work them off.
One of his hands cupped her heat, a single finger sliding between her. “Do you have any idea what it does to me to feel how wet you are right now?”
“Do you know what it does to me when you do that?” she hissed, as he used his thumb to tease her.
Jeremy leaned back onto the bed and drew her along with him. As he continued touching her with one hand, his other took his erection and stroked it. She hadn’t seen him retrieve one, but he had a condom in his palm.
“I’m on the pill, Jeremy.”
He nodded, setting the unopened package aside. Scooting over so that he was on his back in the middle of the mattress, he reached with a hand at her waist to pull her closer.
“Oh no.” She shook her head when she realized what he wanted. “Not on top.”
He cupped his hand behind her neck and pulled her lips down to kiss him, mouth slanting over hers. “Trust me.” He whispered the words against her lips.
She wasn’t sure if it was his reassuring prodding or the fact that she just needed him so badly, but she swung one leg over him and then braced her hands on his chest. Slowly she lowered herself onto him, moaning with the pleasure of him filling her.
“Yes,” he gritted between clenched teeth as he took her hips, fingers biting into her skin. She moved slowly at first, then as the friction and pleasure built, she leaned her upper body forward for better leverage. Her breath caught in her throat, then she groaned as her hair fell in waves across his chest. Jeremy half-growled her name as he climaxed, just before she too found her release.
Exhausted, she wanted nothing more than the collapse onto him, but instead she tried to slide over to the side. His arms encased her in a huge embrace and prevented her from moving, holding her tight atop his body.
“I’m too heavy. I don’t want to suffocate you,” she whispered.
“For goodness sakes, Meg.” He brushed her hair aside so that she could rest her head in the crook between his chin and chest. “You’re not going to break me. And you’re not that heavy. Let me hold you like this a little longer.”
Objecting would have taken too much effort, and she was enjoying being in his arms, their bodies still locked. She tilted her head to kiss his neck, then exhaled a long sigh of contentment.
The next morning, Jeremy woke to an empty bed. A glance at the window revealed that the sun was up, which meant he’d slept much later than usual. Of course, he hadn’t gotten an entire night’s sleep. They’d dozed between a few more lovemaking sess
ions before falling completely asleep in the spoon position around three in the morning. He rolled out of bed and scratched his head with one hand, then made his way to the bathroom.
The apartment was quiet, and when he padded into the kitchen, he could see why. There was note attached to the coffee pot.
Going for a walk. Be back soon. If coffee’s not your thing, there’s juice in the fridge and tea in the cabinet to the left.
He was just taking his first sip of coffee when she opened the door. “Good morning.”
She smiled when she saw him, then dipped her head as if embarrassed. “Good morning. I take it strong. Hope that’s okay.”
“Mmm.” He closed his eyes as he slurped another drink. “No other way to take coffee.”
She chuckled, then came around and into the kitchen, placing a bag onto the counter. “I brought some pastries from the shop across the street. I seemed to remember you like pancakes, but I’m not much of a breakfast maker. I usually just grab something on the way out to a job.”
As she dug into the sack and began to put assorted rolls onto a plate, he stepped close and put one arm around her waist, holding his hot coffee away so as not to accidentally spill it and burn one of them. He kissed her neck, then her cheek. “Those will do. The croissant looks like a fine choice to start.”
He could feel her breathing heavy but sensed that it was more from nervousness than anything else. Stepping back, he watched as she put two croissants into the microwave and warmed, then pulled a tub of butter from the fridge.
“Meg?”
“Yes?” She flashed a quick smile, hurrying to the other side of the counter with her plate to sit down at the bar, seemingly as far away from him as she could get.
He narrowed his eyes and took his own pastry, standing across from her. “Okay, you might as well ‘fess up. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
He paused and watched her. She was avoiding his gaze, tearing away one piece of the croissant at a time, staring at it and then popping it into her mouth quickly. Deciding to let her be a moment, he buttered his own roll and began eating.
“Are you catching a plane home today? I can drop you at the airport if you need me to.”
“Ah.” He nodded, dropping the croissant onto the plate and then wiping his fingers on a napkin. “That’s what this is.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Sighing long and deep, he reached across the countertop for her hand. “Meg, I’m sorry about that morning in the hotel.”
She forced another plastic grin, slipping her hand out of his. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“Yes, there is. I was ashamed of myself. I thought I’d taken advantage of you, treated you badly. And I didn’t want to confront that about myself. It was a stupid and cruel thing to do after what we’d shared. We should have spent time together.”
“You had a plane to catch.” She shrugged.
“I could have gotten a later flight. But I don’t have a ticket now, Meg. I have absolutely no plans to leave until or unless you want me to. Last night wasn’t another hook-up. Last night meant something.”
She put a smaller bite of pastry into her mouth and chewed slowly. After swallowing, her lower lip trembled a bit before she sucked it into her mouth and looked up at him. Her eyes were glossy, but she seemed determined not to cry.
“It meant something to me too, Jeremy. But if it was just a hook-up, that’s okay. I can deal with that. That’s what I do. I deal. I just need to know on the front side so I can be prepared.”
He tilted his head back just a little, looking down at her with an expression of disapproval. Emotion welled up in him, and he slammed his hand on the counter hard enough to make the dishes clatter. “You don’t have to deal, Meg. Dammit, get angry. Get incensed. Scream or something. What was done to you was a shitty thing and it makes me want to spit nails each time I think of it. How can you sit there and just deal?”
She might not have heard his words for all she showed reaction to them. Her eyes were focused on some invisible thing in front of her, and she was barely moving except to breathe. Then all at once she exploded. Her hand shot out, and she swept all of the dishes from the counter, knocking them down and spilling what remained of Jeremy’s coffee across the counter.
“Do you think I’m not pissed off? I live pissed off right now, Jeremy. Every waking, breathing, working minute of every day, I feel on the verge of hurting someone. I said some very unkind things to Rhonda a few weeks ago. Things that weren’t fair to her but felt damned good to say. And that scared the hell out of me. That’s why I limit my interaction with people. Because something in me is screaming to pop, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to pick up the pieces after that happens.”
Her face was blotchy red, and the tears she’d been holding back were freely flowing down her cheeks. His heart broke for her, and he reached out a hand towards her. “Oh, Meg.”
“Don’t touch me. I don’t want you to touch me. You touching me last night made me forget all of that … of that shit,” she screamed, then turned, wrapping her arms around herself and sobbing. “And as soon as it was over I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide forever. So don’t touch me and then leave me because I can’t do that!”
Her order fell on deaf ears because he immediately rounded the corner and scooped her up, encompassing her as tightly as he could. Something in him wondered if he could hold her so tightly that all of the poison hurting her could be squeezed out.
And she rocked against him, mumbling and murmuring into his chest. He couldn’t make sense of the words, but it didn’t matter. Whatever had been seething in her for all this time needed to find an outlet.
After a time, she finally relaxed, gasping a few cleansing breaths before pulling back a little so that she could look up at him. “Thanks.”
He wiped at the tears on her face and smiled affectionately. “You’re welcome.”
“Oh God.” Her hands covered her face. “I must look like a monster. Crying always turns my face into someone I can’t recognize.”
“My dear.” He tipped her chin to look at him again. “Dear Meg. Don’t hide from me. Don’t ever hide from me. I want to know all of you. Every single piece of you. Please don’t hide.”
“Okay. It’s just that—” She paused and dropped her forehead into his breast. “They were the ones I counted on the most, Jeremy. They were my people, and now just thinking about them hurts.”
He didn’t speak of it anymore, just continued to stand there, his arms around her as if he might build a fortress of his body to keep out all of the pain. He knew that was impossible, but for that moment, he prayed it was enough.
Together they began cleaning up the mess. As he tossed a broken piece of china into the trash, Jeremy laughed. “Remind me never to tell you to get angry again. I might not survive too many bouts of this.”
She giggled, a genuine sound that was music to his ears. Waiting for her to finish mopping up the last of the coffee, he looped his hands under her arms and helped her to her feet. “May I use your shower?”
“Yes, you may.” Her smile was beaming. “And I actually have a set of your clothes tucked in a drawer beside my bed if you need them.”
He recalled the day he’d dropped her at her house, his workout pants rolled up at the ankles to fit her. “Beside your bed, eh? Maybe you’d prefer to keep those.” Waggling his eyebrow, he leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I actually have some things out in the car. I’ll run get them. And then I’d like you to take me to the Pennington House. I want to see how those Strawberry Epistles are doing.”
Four Months Later
“I feel like I’m going to puke,” Meg said, her hand gripping Jeremy’s tightly as they walked up the steps towards the doors of Arrington Manor. He squeezed hers, side-eyeing her with upturned lips. The simple yet stunning engagement ring he’d given her just a few weeks before dug into her finger, and she flinched but said nothing. �
��We should have given them a little more warning.”
He snorted. “They know we’re coming.”
Flicking both their arms at him to smack him, she frowned. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
Once at the doors, he stopped, turning to face her and placing his hands on her shoulders. “My dear Meg, you worry entirely too much. I happen to know this is the best time to give them our news. Trust me.”
“I should have had you bring me here more so that they could have gotten to know me better. Oh, Jeremy, I’m never going to fit in here.”
She’d only met his parents and sister once, when she’d flown to New Durma after his father had suffered a riding accident. The Earl of Arrington was in critical condition, and a few times, they’d worried he might not survive. Certainly not ideal circumstances under which to mean one’s future in-laws.
But at that time Meg hadn’t know she and Jeremy would become serious, so after his mother and sister returned from the old country and things had settled down, she’d immediately headed home.
After all, she had a business to run and money was tight enough that she couldn’t afford too much time off. But within only a few weeks, Jeremy was back, and their courtship continued.
“You fit in with me. That’s what matters.”
She recalled very similar words he’d said not long after they’d first expressed their love for each other. When she’d asked why he didn’t take her to spend time with his parents, Jeremy responded, Meg, family is important to me, but the day I realized I loved you was the day you became the center of my family. And by extension, I’m confident in my parents’ capacity to love you nearly as much as I do. But you and me, building our relationship and soon our lives together, is what I’m focused on. The rest will fall into place.
All for Family (The Rawley Family Romances Book 3) Page 12