That was the last thing he wanted.
* * * * *
It was, quite possibly, a perfect day.
They laughed, flirted, and managed not to piss each other off. She didn’t know what it meant, but she found herself strolling around wineries in Paso Robles, holding hands with Ben.
And it felt good.
He loaded a couple of bottles he’d bought into the trunk while she adjusted the driver’s seat to take her turn behind the wheel. In the end, they hadn’t drunk as much as she’d feared. A few sips over the course of several hours, so she was more than okay to drive. They only had a few hours left on the road, so she’d be chauffeuring him home.
But then what? With their push-me-pull-you interactions for the last ten-plus years weighing against their two days of blissful naughtiness, she couldn’t begin to fathom where they’d end up emotionally. It was a waiting game, and it left a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach.
The trunk slammed shut and ten seconds later he was slipping into the passenger’s seat. “Ready?”
“We’re off to see the Wizard,” she sing-songed, starting the car.
“You’re going to get that tune stuck in my head.”
“It’s quite an earworm, isn’t it?” She left the vineyard behind and pulled onto the highway.
Fifteen minutes later, he started humming the song. She laughed and he groaned. “Shit!”
She reached for the radio. “Let’s see if we can find something to get it off your mind.”
Before she could switch on the dial, her phone rang. It was her mother’s ring tone. Oh God. She must have heard about their Ensenada rescue mission, and now the drama would begin. Somehow, as always, Dinah would make her daughters’ problems all about her. It was inevitable. Nora wanted to lean her head against the wheel and cry. She really didn’t think she had it in her to deal with this right now. This thing with Ben already had her in a tailspin and it usually took all her fortitude to manage her mom.
Too bad. The drama llama mama would hit redial like she was hopped up on speed until you picked up. Avoiding her just made the meltdown worse.
“Can you grab my phone out of my purse?”
“Sure.” He rooted around and came up with her cell. One glance at the name on the display and he grimaced. “It’s Dinah. Are you sure you want to pick up?”
She sighed. “You might as well. She’ll just call back incessantly if I don’t answer. And she’ll work herself into a lather because not answering means I’m dead.”
“An obvious and reasonable conclusion.”
She shot a glance at him. “You’ve met my mother.”
“More than once.” He gave her a look of exaggerated dismay.
“Ah, crap. I forgot to charge my headset.” It was illegal to talk on the phone while driving in California without a hands-free device. The phone stopped ringing, and five seconds later it started again.
“Want me to put it on speaker and hold it?” He didn’t sound happy to be making the offer, but she couldn’t blame him. He had met Dinah more than once.
“Yes, but don’t say anything.” Nora gestured to the cell. “If she doesn’t know you’re here, she can’t rope you in to her circus.”
“Got it.” He tapped the button to pick up the call.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Nora!” Dinah sounded frantic and relieved at the same time. “I was afraid it was going to go to voicemail again.”
Oh Lord. This one was going to be a doozy, Nora could just sense it. “No, I’m here. What’s up?”
“Your neighbor said you packed up and left three days ago with a man she’d never seen before. I was worried you’d been kidnapped!”
Because people normally packed a bag for a kidnapping. “No, I’m fine. I just went for a little road trip.” The fact that her mother didn’t already know why was actually a bad sign. It meant she had some other reason for calling. “What are you doing at my house, talking to my neighbor?”
Dinah ignored the question and demanded, “Who was the man you went on a road trip with? Is it serious?”
The first question, Nora didn’t want to answer, the second one, she didn’t know the answer. “Well, um…”
“It’s so romantic, running away for the weekend!” A dreamy sigh came through the line. “I’m so happy for you, Nora. Is he The One? I’d love for more than just Anne to give me grandbabies.”
How had they gone from kidnapping to grandbabies? Only her mother would make that leap so seamlessly and not think anything was amiss with her logic. Nora cast a desperate glance at Ben, who looked as stupefied as she felt.
Okay, there was no way to respond that wouldn’t get weird really fast, so she kept it short. “There’s no reason to plan for grandbabies yet, so let’s go back to my original question: why are you at my house?”
“Can’t a mother visit her daughter?”
The wounded tone was designed to inspire guilt, but just made Nora suspicious. “Of course. Usually you call first to make sure the daughter in question is home and not at work or out shopping. You know I don’t have nine-to-five hours.”
“I forgot.” Dinah’s voice wobbled, sounding pitiful.
Yep, Mom wanted something. Nora wasn’t sure what yet, but trying to make her feel sympathetic or shamed right off the bat was not a good portend. “Well, I’m still out of town.”
“Don’t you have a hide-a-key somewhere?”
“No. Those aren’t safe.” She frowned. “Why would you need a key? I’m not there to visit.”
“Oh. Well. I…I’m leaving Stanley.” The name was wrapped in a sob when Dinah spoke, and cold dread rushed through Nora. Oh, Jesus H. Christ. Dealing with her mom during a divorce…the prospect boggled the mind.
Ben’s free hand jerked through the air, and he mouthed, “What the fuck?”
Nora glared at him to make certain he remained silent, and cleared her throat. “That’s not good. Why are you leaving him? You’ve seemed pretty content since the wedding.”
And her daughter’s lives had been much more peaceful. Stanley should be sainted.
“There’s no passion there, Nora! No fire. Nothing.” Another sob punctuated that sentence.
Okay, Stanley was a bit dull, but he was a nice man. And it wasn’t as if the boring parts had been hidden until after the ceremony. He collected stamps and enjoyed scrapbooking. A wild man, he was not. “Is there suddenly less fire than there was when you married him?”
Her mom sniffled. “That was the excitement of newness.”
So, she was bored now. Fantastic. Nora rubbed her temple, feeling a headache beginning to build. “Did you have a fight?”
“No, I told you there’s no fire! He couldn’t get passionate enough to fight over anything but stamps.”
There was a direct hit. Though, again, something her mom had known before she married. Then a nasty suspicion hit Nora. If they hadn’t fought, then… “Does he even know you’re leaving him?”
There was a long pause. “No.”
Figured. This was some kind of manipulative mind game she was playing with the poor man. Whether she actually intended to leave or not was anyone’s guess. Frankly, Nora wasn’t interested in helping Dinah jerk her husband around.
“Mom, you can’t stay with me,” Nora said quietly. “None of us girls will let you do that to us ever again, and you know it.”
“It’s just until I get back on my feet,” her mother replied, using every ounce of cajoling she had.
Though it was difficult, she remained calm and reasonable. “Have you ever earned enough to stand on your own two feet?”
Another long pause. “No.”
“All right. Here’s what you need to do.” She eased over into the slow lane to let a faster car pass. “You’re going to go home and have an honest conversation with your husband. Y
ou can seek counseling or you can decide together how best to dissolve your relationship. You’ll need to sort out how you’re going to support yourself financially.”
Nora was pretty sure she heard her mom stamp her foot like a toddler. Dinah went from pleading to indignant in under five seconds. “How can you be so cruel? I’m your flesh and blood!”
“Mom, you lived off of Anne’s largesse for most of my childhood, thus forcing your oldest daughter to raise your younger daughters. This means that your flesh and blood isn’t inclined to let you move in with them. As Anne found out, you never leave. This is the bed you’ve made, Mom. I’m afraid you’ll have to lie in it.” Nora kept her tone kind, but no-nonsense. She’d found that worked best with the drama llama over the years. “I love you and you’re free to visit me whenever you want, but you’re not sleeping over and you’re definitely not moving in.”
Wild weeping erupted through the line as Dinah lost her shit. “I wish I’d never given birth to any of you. Ungrateful children!”
As many times as her mom had freaked over the years, it still hurt when she lashed out like this.
Ben shifted toward Nora, switched the phone to his other hand, and squeezed her shoulder. The support and comfort radiating from him was so wonderful, so perfect, it almost scared her. It also made it harder to stay strong and rational and not cry.
She quickly blinked away tears and drew in a steadying breath. “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’ve made my position clear. I love you, but I need to have boundaries. We’ve gone over this many times, so you knew what I would say before you went over to my house.”
“These are special circumstances,” her mom cried.
“Has Stanley been abusive to you in any way?”
The likelihood of that happening were zero to none, but Nora had seen abused spouses in the hospital with people she never would have suspected. It was important to ask, even if the chances were slim.
It sounded like Dinah wiped her nose on her sleeve. “Of course not. He doesn’t even argue about anything, let alone hit me.”
Yes, because a man who worshipped the ground you walked on and gave you everything you wanted was such a hardship. Apparently, it was in Dinah’s world.
Nora nodded even though her mother couldn’t see. “Then you should be able to go home and sort out your separation. He’s not a bad man and you know he loves you. He deserves to hear it from you that you don’t want to be married anymore. Or maybe there’s a reason for the fading passion and you can work through it. This is an important discussion that you need to have, Mom.”
“I don’t want to,” Dinah snapped, all petulance. “It’s over. I know it’s over.”
“Then you need to go pack up your things and decide where you’re going to move next. It won’t be in with me, Hazel lives in a campus apartment, and Camille…” Nora let that thought trail off. Cami’s relationship with their mom had always been contentious; she refused to pander to their mother’s ego, and she had zero patience for bullshit. Even the drama llama knew better than to show up on Camille’s doorstep, which made Nora resent the intrusion even more. Just because she was the peacemaker in the family didn’t mean she was a pushover.
Her mom sniveled pathetically. “You know I don’t do well on my own.”
True enough. Her mother’s was a classic case of codependence. She’d never managed to take care of herself, never held down a job for more than six months, and couldn’t live without a man in her life—whether he was the one financially supporting her or not.
After Dad died, Anne had footed the bill for Dinah’s lifestyle until Cami’s sophomore year of college, and Stanley had taken over when Nora, Hazel and Camille had joined forces to boot their mom out of Anne’s house. Mom had gone through men like toilet paper for as long as Nora could remember, but Stanley had stuck because her mom had been scared to be alone. That her mother threatened to leave without having her next man lined up—or a daughter locked in as a roommate-slash-benefactress—added more credence to the idea that Dinah was just fucking with Stanley’s head and had no real intention to file for divorce.
But anything was possible when the drama llama was concerned.
“Just for a little while, Nora.”
If anything, her resolve hardened rather than weakened. She managed to keep her anger in check and reply evenly, “I meant what I said. You know you can’t change my mind on this. You can always go stay with Aunt Terri.”
“She lives in the desert. You live right here.”
And that meant it was okay to take advantage of her? Because she was the nice one, the sensitive one, the local one, she was easy pickings. No, no, no. “Go home, Mom. Stanley deserves better than to have you disappear without a word. It would be cruel to do that to him.”
“It’s cruel for you to leave me to sleep on the street!” Dinah screamed.
“Go home,” Nora repeated. “I love you and I’ll talk to you later. Goodbye.”
“Wait! Nora! Don’t—”
But Ben had already tapped the button to disconnect the call with far more force than the action required. The rage all but vibrated off of him, but she didn’t know who it was directed at. Some people she knew thought her mom was the problem, others thought that a mother should be able to make whatever demands she wanted of her children and they were duty-bound to oblige. Since Ben had such awesome parents, she wasn’t quite sure where he’d fall on the spectrum. He’d let his mom move in with him without blinking, but his mom had always treated him well.
“So,” he said, a cutting edge to the word.
Every muscle in her body was tense, and she had to force herself to relax. “So?”
“Your mom—” He cut himself off. “She walked out on a guy without telling him anything because the passion had fizzled?”
She ran a shaking hand through her hair. “Mom likes excitement, even if she has to generate it herself.”
That just made his voice harsher. “So was she just generating excitement to get him passionate again or was she really leaving?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“That’s…fucked up on so many levels.” He dropped her phone into her purse.
Remaining mute, she shrugged. There was no point arguing with the truth.
She could feel his gaze on her, but she didn’t glance his way. He tapped his fingers on his door. “You were nice the whole time, though. Even when she said she wished you were never born.”
“I told her what I felt was important to say. Engaging with her crazy doesn’t keep anyone sane.” She shifted her shoulders. “I dated a guy once who was absolutely appalled at anyone setting boundaries for their mother. Like, how dare a child try to limit the dysfunctional elements of her life? Mom gets a free pass.”
“Did you tell him that Anne was the one who’d done all the mothering?” he snapped. “And that Dinah only had you to keep your dad around? And that calling her batshit crazy is an insult to the batshit?”
Relief wrenched through her. She didn’t know why it mattered what he thought, but it did. “Yep. All that and more. Didn’t change his mind. I was still a monster.”
“You’re better off without him then. No one deserves to be manipulated, emotionally abused, or treated liked crap, even by their parents.” His hand smacked against his thigh. “There are no free passes on being a decent human being.”
Glancing over at him, she smiled. “It’s a good thing you don’t do criminal defense.”
He snorted. “It was pretty easy to decide against that as a specialty.”
Quiet filled the car for a few minutes, and then she said, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Not thinking I’m a monster.” This was an issue she’d learned to be wary of discussing with other people. Men, especially, since they tended to view their mothers in a much more worshipful way. She’d be
en surprised by the vitriolic reactions she’d gotten from a few of her boyfriends, and now usually avoided the topic unless the guy might warrant an introduction to her family. Which was rare. Because, really, how did you ease someone in to the idea of Dinah? What kind of warning could you give without seeming like an asshole?
But with Ben, she didn’t need to worry about that. He’d met her mother. Whether he thought Nora should pander to Dinah or not was something they’d never conversed about, but that was a lot simpler to bring up when the man in question was well-versed in Dinah’s theatrics.
How was it that the guy who’d always made her life harder had found so many ways in the last few days to make it easier? It was a revelation and still it baffled her. Something she’d have to think about more carefully later.
“You’re not a monster.” He reached over and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “You’re a lot nicer than I would be. Which isn’t saying much, I know, but…you were nicer than she deserved.”
“Even though she brought me into this world?” The words cracked a bit at the end, and she had to swallow. Her emotions were raw for so many reasons, and she didn’t know how to feel, what to think.
“No one has the right to hurt you. Period. No exceptions.” He cupped the back of her head.
“Thank you. Again.”
His hand slid down to massage the tautness out of her neck. “I’m sorry I never realized how shitty things were. I knew she was full of crazy and melodrama, I’ve seen her make a scene in public, but I was never witness to her being emotionally abusive to one of her daughters. That’s definitely what just happened here.”
God, what he could do with his hands was amazing. It was all she could do not to purr. “Anne deflected a lot of it, and I learned young not to engage. I don’t always manage it, but I try.”
“Good plan. I’m surprised you allow any involvement at all.”
“She’s my mother. I’ve never been able to make myself cut her off completely. I have very strict boundaries and I won’t let her cross them, but I don’t cut her out of my life.” Maybe she should. Maybe it would help, but she doubted it. Her mother was her mother. She loved her, but a lot of the time, she didn’t like her. And that was sad. She wished circumstances were different, but they never would be. “Anne and Hazel are in the same boat with me. Cami barely speaks to her, and only when forced during holidays.”
Ensenada Escapade: Destination: Desire, Book 6 Page 14