“What did you send? Should I check my email?”
The doorbell rang.
“Nope, this is a special delivery.”
Nora was still in her pajamas, but since it was a T-shirt and yoga pants, she didn’t much care if she looked rumpled for a FedEx guy. She opened the door, and found her youngest sister on the doorstep. “Camille!”
“Hey, there.” She stepped over the threshold. “Can I borrow a cup of coffee?”
“Don’t you mean sugar?” Nora got a quick kiss on the cheek as her sister passed.
“Nope, I mean coffee.” Cami shoved her chic teal glasses up her nose. “And by borrow, I mean steal and never give back.”
A muted shout came from the phone, and Nora tapped the button to turn on speakerphone. “Hazel, you send the best gifts.”
“Don’t I?” Hazel gloated. “Cami, we’re giving big sis some relationship advice.”
“Because Ben finally admitted he wants to be your love slave?” Camille swept into the kitchen, going straight for the espresso machine. “About time, the dumbass.”
“Way to be discreet, Hazel,” Nora admonished.
“She didn’t tell me anything.” Cami’s grin was smug. “All she said was that you were locked alone in a car with Ben and you weren’t trying to kill each other. That was a dead giveaway. I figured he’d finally decided to do something about all the feels he has for you.”
“His feels aren’t really the issue here,” Hazel interjected. “Nora, remember that you can just date him and see where it goes. You don’t have to let him put a ring on it immediately.”
“That’s my fear.” Nora set the phone on the center island. “He clearly knows what he wants out of this, but what if I don’t feel the same in the end? I don’t want to jerk him around. I’m not that cruel.” She paced in circles around her kitchen. “Plus, our families are kind of entangled. Do I even want to go there?”
“Do you want an honest answer?” Cami asked, handing her a cup of coffee and taking hers with her to a stool at the island. “I think you should do whatever makes you happy. If Ben does it for you, then hang on to him for as long as that feeling lasts. It’s that simple.”
“What she said,” Hazel piped up. “The entangled families will deal with you being together the same way we dealt with you bickering. And if you split, we’ll deal with that too. Don’t worry about us, worry about you. More than anything, we’d all like to see you happy, whatever form that happiness takes.”
“Is he what would make me happy? I don’t know.” Or maybe she knew, but was too scared to acknowledge the truth because…what if it was a mistake? What if all her worries over the years were totally justified? But it really boiled down to just one worry, didn’t it? That as the sensitive Kirby daughter, she was the one most like her mother, and the most likely to make the same mistakes. “Hooking up with my worst enemy and thinking it’s true love sounds like something Mom would do, doesn’t it?”
Silence.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.”
“You can’t play it safe with love, hon.” Hazel reasoned, “That’s not how it works. It’s sort of an all-or-nothing deal.”
“What if I fall for him and he walks all over me?” Nora countered. “He’s a pushy bastard sometimes.”
“Well, it comes down to trust.” Camille’s analytical gaze bored into Nora. “Do you trust him not to hurt you when he says he won’t? Do you trust that he’s really going to turn over a new leaf? Do you trust him enough to explore the possibility of a relationship?”
“And do you trust yourself enough to let yourself fall for anyone?” Hazel asked, her tone redolent with empathy. “You haven’t so far. Not really. You’ve always run from guys who might even have the potential.”
She was right. There’d been a few men who’d pursued Nora over the years, men who’d discomfited her, who’d challenged her to get over her fears. She’d avoided them, telling herself she needed to focus on school and then building her career. Ben was the only one who hadn’t taken no for an answer, who’d known her well enough to ask if she was sure, if there was any chance she could change her mind.
He was the only one who’d understood where her doubts came from.
“Love is some scary shit, hon. And trust is hard.” Camille peered over the tops of her glasses. “But you can’t have one without the other. At least not the kind of love that’s healthy.”
A sad smile formed on Nora’s face. “Not like Mom’s version of love, you mean?”
“Yeah,” both of her sisters said at once.
“Ben makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, or that I’ve never let myself feel before. I’m not ready to call it love,” she added hastily. “But I’m not ready…not to call it love. Does that make sense?”
Hazel said, “Uh…”
“Nope.” Camille bumped her shoulder against Nora’s. “But it means you have some more thinking to do, and we’ll be available for more sage advice if you need it.”
“Thanks,” Nora drawled. “You’ve been so helpful.”
“We’re awesome like that,” Hazel responded.
“So…” Camille took a deep swig of her coffee. Her glasses steamed up and she sighed in satisfaction. “I do have another reason for being here besides your love life.”
“Really?” Hazel asked. “You didn’t tell me that.”
Cami smirked down at the phone. “Well, Nora deserves to be first on some news too.”
“You held out on me.” Hazel huffed.
Before they could start quarreling like toddlers, Nora broke in, “What’s the news?”
“Mom will have two daughters in town to harass soon.” Cami shrugged. “I’m bringing over a couple of college friends to form our own tech company.”
“Seriously?” Hazel squeaked at the same time Nora exclaimed, “That’s awesome! I’ll be so excited to have you close by.”
“Yep.” Camille nodded. “I miss the coast and the lack of traffic.”
“Let me guess.” Nora glanced down at the counter that hid her sister’s damaged knee. “You’ll set up shop close enough to home that you can walk to work.”
Cami winked. “I like the way you think.”
“All right, ladies.” A rustling came through the phone. “I have to get to lab, or my undergrad students will kill one of the starfish.”
“Have fun with that.” Cami’s face scrunched. “I’m so glad I work with computers.”
Nora smacked her sister’s arm. “Talk to you later, Hazel. Thanks for calling.”
“Bye!” The cell beeped and the screen went dark as Hazel hung up.
“What are you up to today?” Camille asked.
Nora finished her liquid caffeine. “I need to go drop some baby shower stuff off at Karen’s. Want to come?”
“Nah. I’ve got an appointment with a real estate agent this evening. The guys are coming over and we’re going office hunting.”
“Debating over who gets the big window.” Nora waggled her eyebrows. “Good times.”
“Exactly.” Cami nodded. “I’ll spare you the thrill and just show you whatever we pick out.”
“Dinner tonight?”
“Can’t.” She winked. “I’ve got a booty call later tonight, so I’m headed straight back to San Jose. Since I haven’t been laid in forever, I’m going to be selfish, ditch you and go score.”
“Luckily for you, I take rain checks.”
“You’re the best.”
Nora’s phone erupted in a ringtone that always sent adrenaline rushing through her veins. “And that’s an emergency at work. Gotta run.”
Scooping up her cell, she popped a kiss on Camille’s cheek and answered the call as she hustled for the bathroom. If she hurried, she might catch a quick shower before she left.
“I’ll text Karen and let her k
now you’re delayed with the baby shower stuff!” Cami hollered after her. “And you should bang her brother’s brains out. I shouldn’t be the only one getting some tonight!”
“Thanks about Karen, shut up about her brother!”
Relationship angst slipped from Nora’s mind. Her focus had to be totally on her job during an emergency. She’d have to sort out her feelings for Ben later.
* * * * *
Ben had a shit day to top off a shit week. Waiting for Nora to make up her mind was driving him insane. He still didn’t know if she was willing to go wild and crazy and have dinner with him after the final shift in her rotation today—or once she woke up that evening, really. So breakfast for her, dinner for him. Whatever. No answer from her basically meant no, didn’t it? Fan-fucking-tastic.
Every possible problem he could imagine had cropped up at the firm since he’d returned from Mexico. Hiccups, delays, and general stupidity from clients who should know better. The crowning insult? He’d lost a case that meant a man lost his kids. They’d appeal the decision, but that didn’t make anyone feel better.
It was a clusterfucked failure of a workday, with Ben right in the middle of the shitfest.
He almost didn’t pick up when his sister called. He didn’t want to deal with anyone else until he went home and crawled into a cold beer. Paperwork was a safer option, and there was always more than enough of it to do in every case.
But avoiding his family was a bad plan, and he’d been sidestepping their calls since he’d gotten back. It couldn’t go on this way. The last thing he wanted was to worry his sister and mom—they could be relentless when they went into mother-hen mode. He could only hope his brother-in-law hadn’t told Karen about the custody case loss. Tate knew Ben had taken it hard.
Interjecting every ounce of cheer he could muster into his tone, he answered on the fourth ring. “Hey, sis.”
“Hey, little brother. Long time, no talk. How’d your impromptu vacation go?”
A little of his tension eased. Tate had kept his mouth shut. Good. But Ben was hardly going to offer the most important details of his trip, so he went for the repulsive instead. “There was projectile vomiting.”
He could all but see her rolling her eyes. “Haha, very funny.”
“Do I sound like I’m laughing?”
After a pause, she sputtered, “Oh my God. You’re serious.”
“As a heart attack.” He straightened the documents on his desk. It was almost 7PM, much later than he’d thought. Booze time.
“This I need to hear. It sounds like you’re messing with papers, so you’re still at work. Come over and tell me everything. I want to see your face when you describe the projectile vomiting.”
He snorted. “You don’t get out much if puking is exciting.”
“I’m eighteen months pregnant. Of course I don’t get out much. I need entertainment. My toddler’s already in bed.”
Sighing, he gave in gracefully. There was no way to win this one. If he refused to visit on top of dodging calls, he’d make her suspicious. “Give me ten minutes.”
“Good.”
The clock on his dashboard blinked over to 7:00 exactly when he pulled into Karen’s driveway. Rubbing at his nape to work the kinks out, he marshaled the will to be chipper. Not that his sister and brother-in-law expected him to blow sunshine out of his ass, but there was no reason for the defeated way he felt to show on his face. That would lead to questions he didn’t want to answer. His case, his love life—neither of those were topics open for discussion.
Without bothering to knock, he pushed into the unlocked front door. It only took a few steps to get across the foyer and into the living room. As expected, Karen and Tate sat on the couch, cuddled together. A flash of jealousy forked through Ben like harsh lightning, and it took everything he had not to turn around and leave. While he was happy his sister and brother-in-law were so content, they had everything Ben wanted and couldn’t have.
Fuck.
“Hi, guys.”
“Hey!” they chorused. Tate rose to give him a backslapping hug, and Ben bent to smooch his sister’s forehead because she definitely wasn’t able to get up.
“Hey, baby.”
Oh Jesus. He straightened and turned to find his mother standing in the kitchen doorway. “Mom. Hi! You’re here!”
He quickly popped a kiss on her cheek, hoping she wouldn’t give him the probing look that burrowed into his brain and unearthed all his secrets. Mothers were uncanny that way.
She gestured behind her. “I’m not the only one. Nora came in about two minutes before you.”
He froze. Nora. Her eyes were round as saucers as she entered the room. At least she’d been as unprepared as he was, but her being here meant she’d had free time she didn’t want to spend with him. Hurt and anger delivered twin punches to his gut. The least she could have done was tell him flat out that she’d made up her mind about him—them. Or maybe she hadn’t and this would just drag on forever.
He checked his indignation. It had been three days. Interminable for him, but not that long in reality. He’d said he’d give her time, but…how long his sanity would hold, he didn’t know.
“Nora.” He nodded, trying to act as if nothing had ever happened between them, which was what his family would expect. This was not how he would have chosen to see her again.
“Ben.” She brushed at her clothes, smoothing nonexistent wrinkles.
“Did I forget to mention they were coming?” Karen piped up from the couch. “I told you I needed to be entertained.”
“And I’m so boring?” Tate asked. “Thanks, honey. I love you too.”
“You’re the most interesting man alive, I promise. But Mom and I wanted to hear about rescuing grad students from the Mexican mafia.”
“We met the mafia?” Nora slipped her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels.
“Anything is possible when my son is avoiding my calls.” His mother cut a look in his direction.
“I’ve been catching up on work, and I emailed four times.” He held up his hands in surrender. “You know I was out of town. Did you think there’d be no backlog waiting for me?”
“Never mind that,” Karen broke in. “Sit down, shut up and tell me about the projectile vomiting.”
He lifted a brow.
“I realize that’s contradictory.” She flapped a hand toward a wingchair. “Do as you’re told.”
“Where to begin?” Relieved to escape Mom’s questions, he plopped into his seat. His mother took the chair next to him, and Nora perched on the edge of the sofa beside Karen. Great, now he’d be looking right at her while he told this story. Well, he’d better make it good then. “Let me tell you about Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.”
His family chuckled, as expected.
He told them about the coeds from hell and bickering with Nora—who barely reacted other than to shake her head at him. She interjected medical details about the food poisoning and hospital trip, while he regaled everyone with the gory details of washing puke out of clothes that had taken a full-frontal projectile hurl. Other than spewing nursing factoids, Nora didn’t say much and stared into space through much of the story. He neglected to add any of the sexy bits, and she didn’t exactly correct him. Karen was Anne’s best friend and, God knew, Nora would hate to have their families gossiping about them.
But his sister knew him better than that. Her eyes narrowed. “You’re holding back.”
“What?” He blinked, trying to appear innocent, but Tate just gave him a sympathetic look.
“Don’t even try,” his mother said. “This story has been edited. I’ve known you your entire life—I know when you’re hiding things.”
“Okay.” He leaned back, giving her a nonchalant shrug. “You know me so well, you tell me what I’m holding back.”
Her fin
gernails tapped on the arm of her chair. “There’s a missing day.”
Keeping the air of casualness, he widened his eyes. “Hmm?”
“Your story would have only taken two days,” Karen observed, her gaze went from Nora to him and back again. “You were gone for three. Where’s the third day? What did you do?”
Shit. He shrugged. “We took the long way up the 101, stopped in Paso for some wine. Don’t you think we deserved some booze after getting yarked on?”
“We needed it, trust me,” Nora added. “The puke was no big deal for me, but the Tweedles could drive anyone to drink.”
“No doubt.” Karen patted her belly. “And someone should be having vino since I can’t until the baby hatches.”
Ben laced his fingers behind his head and offered his sweetest, most charming smile. “I’ll give you a bottle to celebrate after she’s born.”
“No, no.” She shook her head. “After I finish breastfeeding.”
He closed his eyes and groaned. “That’s more information than I needed.”
“I’m training you for your future wife and children.” Her tone was so magnanimous, he groaned again.
As it stood, he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to a point where he saw that as a real possibility. Nora’s only interest in him seemed to be sex. Not that he was discouraging that kind of thinking, but he wanted more. She hadn’t put the brakes on his flirtation this week, but she’d hardly returned his professions of love or even indicated that she was open to dating. Nothing. It was maddening and nerve-wracking.
Seeing her now hadn’t helped much, because they couldn’t actually talk. He just felt like he was putting on a performance for his family and Nora. He had to suppress the anguish over failing to help a father keep his kids, and pretend the woman who was currently grinding his nerves and heart into pieces was still someone he didn’t care for.
This was what hell felt like.
This was what hell felt like.
Nora sat there in a surreal haze.
She’d lost a patient. It wasn’t the first time, but she was never going to be happy when it happened. She’d been called in because of a car accident, a reckless teen boy on a motorcycle who’d run a stoplight in front of a vehicle with a young girl and her grandmother—a sweet old lady who’d been one of Nora’s regulars for years. The girl made it, the boy might never walk again, and the grandmother had swerved into a tree trying to miss him.
Ensenada Escapade: Destination: Desire, Book 6 Page 17