“Do you understand that she truly deserves the best? I suspect Vy has had some harsh things happen to her in life and she guards her heart with a tough shell, but underneath, there’s a truly loving woman.”
Sam agreed. He’d seen her with Rachel’s children. Tori adored her. Despite her prickly, stubborn exterior, Violet loved people. She would be a good mother.
“Here’s the thing, though, Gramps. I don’t want any more children now. I wanted them when Chelsea was little. I’ve done my child rearing.”
“What are you saying? That you won’t get to know this child at all?”
“He’s saying that all he’s going to give Vy is child support.” Chelsea had returned to the room from ordering ice cream.
“You won’t even visit?”
Sam’s stiff, uncoordinated nod elicited glares from both Gramps and Chelsea.
Unfair. Since arriving in this town, people had allied themselves against Sam. “What have I done to deserve all of this bad treatment? Huh?”
Chelsea opened her mouth but Sam cut her off. He pointed a finger at his grandfather. “You called crying about your problems here in Rodeo. These women were ripping you off. You needed help. I came running. Running. Do you know why?”
Gramps shook his head no.
“Because I love you. And what did I get?”
Again he shook his head.
“People blocking me at every turn. I’ve shoveled shit and ridden a demon horse and done hard physical labor for zero wages. Not one person has said thank you.” He pointed at his daughter. “And you! Your mother took off on an adventure with her new husband. I stepped in to take care of you. I was ecstatic that she hadn’t wanted full custody. I was overjoyed when she said you could live with me. I was hugely excited about taking a road trip with you. Do you know why?”
“Because you love me?” she whispered.
“Yes! What did I get in return?”
She shook her head.
“Attitude. I got ’tude.”
He whipped the small change purse out of his pocket and threw it onto the bed.
“Vy made me angry. She turned me inside out with her mouthiness and her sarcasm and her beauty. I desired her. Okay? I was lonely. I’ve been lonely for years.” Until he said it, he didn’t realize how true it was. “I was lonely. I wanted a woman. In particular, I wanted Violet. I gave in and took what I wanted. She was more than willing. One time I took what I wanted. One lousy time. What am I getting in return?”
They shook their heads.
“A baby I don’t want!”
A nurse stepped into the room with a big smile and holding a tray with three bowls of ice cream.
Sam said, “Chelsea, I’ll wait for you in the car. Take as long as you want. One of you eat my share.”
With his anger spent and a resigned sigh, he left the room and the building. In the car, he wrenched his seat as far back as it would go and closed his eyes.
So much was his own fault and so much was outside his control. What was up? What was down? What was right or wrong?
He no longer knew.
Chapter Ten
Vy called her friends together for an emergency session at the diner. They snagged a table for six in the window.
Vy joined them with trepidation because she planned to come clean with them, about being pregnant, but also about why it raised so many emotions in her apart from joy.
Would they judge her as harshly for sleeping with Sam as her mother had for her teenage folly?
Thoughts of her mother brought on the great overwhelming sadness she’d buried years ago. Yes, she had done a solid job of submerging it in deep underwater chambers, but there’d been days, awful, come-out-of-nowhere, hitting-her-in-the-side-of-the-head days when her sadness would threaten to capsize her boat.
Violet, I’m so disappointed in you.
Could she survive someone she loved having such profound disappointment in her again?
Her friends waited patiently for her to explain the meaning of this emergency meeting.
She’d never been a coward, but she hated the thought of losing a single one of them.
“Talk to us,” Honey ordered.
Come on, Vy. Suck it up and tell them the truth.
She opened her mouth and said quietly, “I got pregnant when I was fifteen.”
After stunned silence, Honey said, “You have a child?”
“Somewhere, yes. I gave my baby up for adoption. I hope she’s happy.”
“Why do you look guilty?” Nadine asked. “Did you think we would disapprove?”
Vy nodded.
Max piped up with a vague hint of reproach. “I wasn’t much older than that when I had my baby. None of you judged me. You could have shared, Vy.”
“Why did you think it was so bad?” Nadine asked. “Why didn’t you ever tell us? We wouldn’t have thought badly of you.”
Maybe yes, maybe no. “Because of the story behind it.”
“Will you tell us? Please?” Rachel leaned forward, the frown on her face disturbing to Vy. What would she do without Rachel?
“My dad died when I was twelve,” she plunged in, but her voice broke. She’d thought she’d done all of her grieving years ago, but here it was, choking her again. “I thought he was the best father on earth. He used to call me his little buddy. We did a lot together.”
They waited patiently, all of them so smart, so wise, open receptacles for whatever she chose to share with them.
Today it had to be all of it.
“My mom and I lost everything. Dad had a life-insurance policy but it wasn’t huge, and Mom didn’t know how to get by in the world. Dad had taken care of everything for her.
“So she sold our house for the little equity they had in it for extra money. We moved away from our neighborhood where my school and all of my friends were, a neighborhood I really loved. We bought a small trailer.”
Rachel nodded. Now she must understand Vy’s problem with trailer parks. Almost. She would think it was only just because she’d lost her house, but no. It was so much more than that. So much worse.
“We had money in the bank but Mom was terrified. She said it would have to last for a long time. For her lifetime.
“Then a couple of years later, I guess she was lonely and started seeing this guy. Within a couple of months, he had moved in. It was already so crowded compared to our old three-bedroom brick house. Now there was this man, this virtual stranger, living with us.
“I really disliked him. On some deep level, I realized that it was more than just adolescent angst that this man was trying to take my father’s place. There was something off about him that my mother didn’t see. I recognized how sneaky and slimy he was. He was slick and, I was sure, dishonest.”
She gripped her hands. “It got worse. I disliked the way he looked at me when Mom didn’t notice.”
Vy shivered in memory. A few nods around the table in sympathy. They could all see where this was going. Almost.
They had no idea how much worse it would be.
“Anyway, I thought he wanted Mom’s nest egg that she thought would sustain her for the rest of her life. I wanted to prove to her how reprehensible he was. I arranged for her to catch us in bed together.”
A few gasps around the table. She hated that judgment and rushed on.
“I wasn’t actually going to go through with anything. I still had my clothes on, but I definitely let him know that I was reacting to the invitations he’d been putting out to me. I didn’t plan to let him go far because I knew to the minute when Mom would get home, so I wouldn’t have to do anything too gross with him.
“Mom came home and caught us. My blouse was undone. He was on top of me. She cried and told him to get out and never come back and t
hen she ran away. She was gone the whole night. I was so worried about her.”
“What happened with the guy?” An ominous silence followed Maxine’s question.
After a while of deep breathing, Vy said, “He was furious. He saw what I had done. He knocked me around.”
Maxine winced. “He raped you, didn’t he?”
Vy nodded. “He told me I deserved it for leading him on and for messing with the good thing he had with my mother. I said, ‘You’ve been looking at me the wrong way since you moved in.’ I screamed and yelled at him. I was furious, too. It was an awful fight.
“He said I’d brought it all on myself by being a tease and a flirt. I had never teased him because I couldn’t stand the sight of him. He said he saw the way I flirted with this guy who walked me home from school sometimes. I asked, ‘What made you think I wanted anything to do with you? What gave you the right to ogle me with such disrespect?’
“He said if I was going to give it away for free to a young guy, I could just as easily give it to him, a real man. I never thought of sleeping with the boy. I just really liked him. We talked about books, for God’s sake. We never even kissed.”
Honey reached across the table and covered Vy’s white-knuckled fists with her hands. “Stop blaming yourself. Stop justifying your actions. Even if you had kissed the guy, even if you’d gone further, it would have been your choice and it wouldn’t have been wrong. It wouldn’t have made you dirty or made it all right for another man to take anything from you.”
Vy breathed out a little of her worry.
“Did he leave the trailer?” Max asked.
“Yes. That night.”
“What happened with your mother?”
“She asked if I had led him on. I told her only that one time did I respond to his invitation, to reveal the snake he truly was. She was angry. She said hateful, hurtful things, that he would have never betrayed her if I hadn’t led him on. I think she thought she would never find another man. In hindsight, I realize how scared she was, how afraid to be alone. She said she was kicking me out, that if I was so smart, I could go make my own way in the world.”
Nadine covered her mouth with her hands. “And then you found out you were pregnant.”
“Yeah. Mom let me stay until I gave birth and gave the baby up for adoption. Then she sent me here to Rodeo to live with Aunt Belinda.”
“And your mom?” Honey asked.
“She hasn’t spoken to me since. She’s convinced that I orchestrated the entire thing, not to expose him, but to get the attention I was missing since my dad died.”
“Was there any smidgen of truth in that?” Nadine asked.
“God, no. If I were going to do that, I would have chosen a better man to get attention from. My dad was a really good guy. My mom’s boyfriend was not.”
“Was it hard to give up the baby?” Max asked. Max had kept her child, but then, she’d had some support from her child’s grandfather. They now lived on the ranch that Max had managed to purchase from him a couple of years ago. She was proud of her accomplishments, despite the heavy mortgage she carried.
“Yes, it was,” Vy responded. “But I knew I was too young. I knew Mom was going to send me away. I knew I couldn’t give the baby the advantages she deserved. I didn’t want her to be held back by having a deadbeat father. If I could have, I would have erased him from her DNA altogether.”
Vy stared at her hands. “I’m so glad I got to hold her once. I couldn’t see even a trace of that man in her. I thought I saw a tiny bit of my dad. In her nose.”
Her friends watched her silently.
A trembling smile touched her mouth. “Wishful thinking, I know. Now you know my whole sordid story.”
Honey reached across the table and took her hands. “I’m sorry you didn’t tell us sooner.”
“So you could know how truly crazy I am?”
“So we could understand how incredibly strong you are.” She swept her arm around the diner. “Look at the success you’ve made of yourself.”
“My aunt willed me a diner. I got lucky.”
Nadine added her two cents. “The diner was not like this when we were teenagers. It was ordinary. Normal. This is fun and current and busy because people love the food and the atmosphere, not because it’s the only diner in town.”
“My aunt made it a success.”
With a vigorous shake of her head, Max said, “No. Your aunt started it and kept it going, but you’ve made it thrive. You’re able to hire more waitstaff than your aunt ever did. You brought in an excellent cook. You updated the menu so people love eating here. People were tired of processed cheese on white bread and canned tomato soup.”
“Remember what you said to Carson?” Rachel asked.
Vy cocked her head. “I’ve said a lot of things to Carson.”
“About Lester. How he watches the Food Network and then comes in here asking you to make the recipes for him.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“So have you ever done it?”
“A couple of times. Remember the feta-and-watermelon salad last summer?”
Nadine hummed. “That was so good.”
“Lester’s idea.” Vy turned her attention back to Rachel. “What is your point about that?”
“You listen to your customers. You took Lester’s request and made it a reality. Lester comes to the diner because he lives alone and hates to cook, but also because you provide this awesome congenial atmosphere where he can socialize with his neighbors and get great food at good prices.”
Vy smiled slowly. “Yeah, I guess I do well in that area.”
“In every area,” Max said. “Even if you are bossy and sarcastic at times.”
“Most of the time,” Nadine cut in.
“Your point being?” Vy asked, and they all laughed.
It felt good. A great, huge load had been lifted from Vy’s shoulders and she felt not only lighter but also more at peace.
Except for...
“There’s more news,” she said. “There’s a reason I had to tell you about my past.”
“I wondered,” Nadine, the consummate journalist and on the ball, murmured.
On a breath that gusted out of her with panic and dread, Vy said, “I’m pregnant.”
Into the shocked silence that followed, Maxine asked, “Now?” followed by Nadine’s “Who?”
“Sam Michaels,” Rachel said. “That day he carried you off on the horse.”
Vy nodded.
“Sam told me you’d need to talk. I’ve been on pins and needles since you called to ask us all to meet. Now I know why.”
Honey stared at Vy with her big blue eyes. “Sam carried you off on a horse? And you made love with him?”
Vy nodded again.
“Except for the unintended consequences, I’m jealous. He’s gorgeous.”
“But not honest. Not a real cowboy.”
“True, Vy.”
Ever blunt, Max got down to brass tacks quickly. “What now?”
“Sam knows. I just told him.”
Rachel held sleeping Beth in her arms. “Which is why he came into the house looking like he’d been struck by lightning and wanting to talk to his daughter.”
“So he’s told her. I wonder what Chelsea thinks. We were so irresponsible. We didn’t give a single thought to birth control.”
“What did Sam offer?” Max leaned forward. “What’s he going to do for you and the baby?”
“He’s going to pay child support. He said this baby will have the best of everything,” Vy finished bitterly.
“But he won’t stick around to help you raise the child?”
“No, Rachel. He won’t. He’s from New York City and has a business to run.”
“I thought
he was better than that.” Rachel shook her head. “Have we figured out why he’s here pretending to be a cowboy?”
“No idea,” Vy said. “He didn’t offer an explanation. He only said that he had to get back to his life in the city.”
“So, this guy comes to town, takes advantage of a local girl and then skips out. I should cut off his balls.”
“Maxine!” Nadine shouted, but then laughed. “Yeah, we all should.”
“He used you,” Maxine said, angry on Vy’s behalf.
“To be honest, I used him, too.”
“There was certainly plenty of lightning arcing between you two whenever you came out to the house, Vy, even if it did look like dislike.”
“There was a powerful attraction, Rachel. True. I...I’m afraid I fell for him hard.”
Max’s lips thinned. She had a low opinion of men, with good reason.
“There will be a lot of talk around town,” Vy said. “I’ll understand if you want to stop being my friend.”
Max swore harshly. “Stop that kind of stupid talk. We’re not going to stop being your friend just because you experienced tragedy when you were young and then got pregnant again now.” She glanced around the table. “Every one of us has something going on in her background. Not one of us is perfect. Maybe that’s why we get along so well.”
She gestured with a hand down her body, drawing attention to her masculine clothing. “You guys are all so beautiful, but you’ve never made me feel ugly or out of place or less than you. We stick together no matter what.”
Vy glanced around the table. Everyone nodded.
These women. These wonderful, amazing, accepting women.
They’d met shortly after she’d been sent here as a teenager and had been a part of her life ever since.
“There’s one more thing you might not have realized,” she said.
“What is it?” Nadine asked. Nadine, with her college degree, might be the most judgmental of all of these women once she heard.
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