Paige laughed and sat on the bed while I pulled myself up to a better sitting position. She looked great today, her eyes were bright, her smile genuine, and her hair caught the light just enough to set off the golden tones. “I brought you some books.”
“You did!” I said as though I’d won the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes. I sat up even more and tried to peek in the bag.
“Some of my favorites, including . . . this one.” She pulled a book from the bag and handed it to me. Silas Marner. The first half of the book had been read, but the second half of the pages were in mint condition save for a fold on the back few pages. It was my book, the book I’d thrown at Paige when I had chosen her as the root of all my problems.
“I’m so sorry about that, Paige,” I said, embarrassed that I had been so unhinged. “I was out of control.”
“Crazy pregnant lady,” Paige said, smiling and shrugging. “You should have time to finish it before book group.”
I looked up at her. “I wish I could come,” I said. “Especially after all you and Livvy have done for me. And I want to know how Athena’s doing, and Ruby’s been so sweet to me. I hate missing it.”
“I know. That’s why we’re going to bring it to you.”
“What?”
Paige grinned even wider. “I talked to Ruby, and she was up for a road trip.” She must have seen the dismay on my face. “I know you won’t be moved in, per se, but it’ll be fun, and, seriously, the alternative is being alone while you know we’re all talking about you anyway. I’ll come over early and straighten up.”
“I move that day,” I said. “I’ll have nothing but boxes.”
“Not a problem,” she said, standing up. “It’s done. And the boys are playing with some kids from church for the next”—she looked at her watch—“hour and eighteen minutes. I’m at your service until then.”
I blinked at her. I didn’t even have to ask. “I don’t know how I’ll ever pay you back for this.”
She picked up a few pieces of garbage and tossed them into the trash can. “I can be bought with fine chocolate and pedicures, not necessarily in that order.” She put her purse next to the bed and headed for the bedroom door. “I assume General Stormy is giving orders?” She looked over her shoulder to give me one more parting smile before I heard her join the undecipherable voices in the other room.
I’d read another fifteen pages of the book when my mattress slumped. I looked up to see Stormy sitting there. If anything her eye makeup was thicker than it had been when she was living here. And there was a red lock of hair on the left side. I reached up and fingered it while biting my tongue.
“It’s an extension,” she said, using both hands to unclip it. “Dad won’t let me color it for real.”
“Two points to Dad,” I said, settling against the pillows and trying to act casual. The last conversation we’d had resulted in her bolting from the house and ignoring me for weeks. She looked at the book resting on my belly.
“What’s that about?”
I looked at the cover for a minute. “A man who thought he had everything until he lost it, only to find the greatest treasure in a child.”
“Sounds stupid,” she said blandly.
I smiled. “It’s rather insightful.”
She gave me a flickering look and then started playing with the extension in her hand. “So, the baby’s okay and everything?”
“Yes,” I said. “In another month, you’ll be able to feel it move.”
She made a face. “Creepy.”
I laughed. “So, how are you?”
“Okay,” she said, then looked around the room. “I’m going to miss this house.”
“The first house we ever lived in,” I said. “Maybe the last.” Buying a home in Orange County on my salary alone was a pipe dream. “I’ll miss it too.”
“You don’t think Paul will change his mind?”
I considered that for a minute, then shook my head. “I’m not sure I’d trust it if he did.” It hurt to say that, though; I missed him so much. At least, I missed the Paul I thought he was. “You’ll like my new place. It has a pool and a gym.”
“Dad’s complex has a pool and a gym.”
“Well, mine’s closer to the mall.”
“Not that much closer.”
Something struck me as strange about the comments she’d made—why the comparison? “You’ll have your own room, of course,” I said. “And it’s in Tustin, so I’ll be closer than I am now.”
She looked up at me, and I read concern in her face. “Who’s going to take care of you?”
No one! I wanted to shout. I wanted even more for it to be true. “Well, I’m hoping that after a couple of weeks, I’ll be able to get around better than I do right now. And Paige is only a couple of blocks away. She’s offered to help.” I didn’t say that I was hoping to hire a housekeeper to come in for an hour or two a day. It would be hard on my new budget, but worth it if it meant not having to put everyone else out.
“With play practice and everything, I can’t come out very often.”
“But that means I’ll enjoy your visits more than ever, right?”
“It’s too bad you didn’t find a place closer to Dad,” she said. “Then it would be way easier.”
My heart skipped a beat. She wanted me closer? I hadn’t even considered her and Jared when I was thinking of places to move. Now that the idea had been broached, I mentally kicked myself for not having thought about it. I must have been quiet for too long because I saw her expression change, and she stood up. “Anyway, is that rooster dish set yours or Paul’s?”
“Mine,” I said. Paul had given it to me for Christmas last year.
“Okay.”
She left me to my thoughts. Was it too late to cancel the apartment? Did I want to cancel? I pulled my computer onto my lap and went online, just to see what was available in Jared’s area. The idea had me on fire.
Paige came in to say good-bye around eight thirty. I explained that I was thinking about switching apartments, then braced myself for what Paige would say. She’d helped me get this apartment, and I knew she didn’t have a lot of extra time to spare for me right now. However, she heard what I didn’t say out loud, which was that Stormy wanted me closer.
“It hasn’t been three business days since you signed the contract, so you should still be within the grace period. Do you have his number?”
“I’m sure it’s on the paperwork in the kitchen.”
Paige got the papers for me, but after she handed them over, I paused, my thumb hovering over the phone buttons. Did I want to do this? Spontaneity wasn’t my strong suit. “What if I can’t find a place?” I asked.
She waved toward my computer. “You just found half a dozen places,” she said. “And you should be as close to Stormy as she’ll allow. If you can’t move in as quickly as you need to and need a place to stay . . . well, we’ll figure something out.”
“You’re amazing,” I whispered.
She tossed her hair over one shoulder and blinked rapidly. “I know.”
I punched in the number without another hesitation. The call went to voice mail, but I left a detailed message, stating that other considerations had come up and I would need to cancel the contract. I was glad Paige wasn’t mad about me having wasted her time. She seemed to understand that I hadn’t factored in Stormy wanting me close to her, and that bit of new information trumped all else.
Around nine o’clock, Jared and Stormy came in. They’d gotten almost everything boxed up and said they’d come back on Thursday to do a final pack. I turned my laptop to face her. “You got me thinking,” I said.
Stormy was confused for half a second, and then her eyebrows lifted and she took over my computer completely, scooting next to me on the bed to look at the listings I’d found.
“This one’s closest to work,” I said, pointing to the one I was most interested in. I was talking to Stormy, but looking at Jared. Would I be stepping on his toes by movi
ng so close?
“Nice place,” he said with a smile. “Let me know if I can help.”
“This one,” Stormy said, turning the laptop to face me.
Jared took a few steps closer so he could see the screen as well. “Is that Harbor Glen?”
“What’s Harbor Glen?” I asked, looking between them both.
“It’s across the street from my complex,” Jared said.
Stormy quickly followed up. “If you’re gonna move down there, you might as well be close, right? And they have double hot tubs. I know a girl who lives over there. It’s nice.”
I looked at Jared again, but he didn’t seem bothered by the idea of me moving so close.
“Come on, Storm,” he said, waving Stormy toward the door. “Your mama needs her beauty rest.”
Stormy stood up and put the laptop on the bed, giving me a coy smile.
“Is that what this is?” I said, feeling lighter than I had in a long time. “Well, I’m on my way to being a total knockout, then.” I flipped my flat, two-days unwashed hair over my shoulder much like Paige had done earlier, only she’d looked cute, and I looked homeless.
Stormy laughed before disappearing through the doorway. Jared hesitated and looked back at me. “Let me know if you want me to go look at places or anything,” he said. “I think it would be great if you were closer. It would be good for Stormy.”
Chapter 41
I stayed up until almost eleven, working on things for Naomi to do at the office in the morning and avoiding the urge to sleep when I wasn’t tired. The evening had me all riled up. I’d already sent an e-mail inquiry to the Harbor Glen manager, and I planned to call the manager for the other apartment complex first thing in the morning to officially cancel my contract.
It didn’t help my insomnia that I missed having Paul beside me, and yet I was annoyed to be wanting him. I pushed those thoughts away and chose to obsess about work instead. I hated not going to work. I held on to the hope that in another week I’d be able to return to light duty. Maybe I could go to work for a few hours a day, so long as I always took the elevator.
I slept in the next morning—what was there to get up for?—but was awakened by the sound of a door opening. I blinked several times to fully wake up and then pulled myself up in bed.
“Hello?” I asked, looking at the clock: 8:31. Stormy was in school—or at least she’d better be. Who else had a key?
Paul suddenly appeared in the doorway, hands in his pockets and tension in his shoulders. He had a duffel bag over his shoulder.
I immediately began smoothing my hair, despite being rendered speechless by his unexpected arrival.
“Hey,” he said, looking cautious and . . . dare I say repentant?
“Hey,” I said back. He must have forgotten something and needed to pick it up. But why the duffel bag? Seeing him made me want to cry for several different reasons.
He pushed himself away from the doorway in a kind of forced lazy movement and dropped the duffel bag with a soft thump before coming into the room.
I could not ignore how attracted I was to him, how much I still loved him. How much I wanted him to stay.
“Your friend called me,” he said. “Last night.”
“My friend?”
“I think her name was Paige?”
Paige called him? I wasn’t sure what I thought about that. How did she get his number?
He stopped a few feet away from the bed. I smoothed the blanket over my belly, which suddenly reminded me why he’d left in the first place. I wondered what Paige had said to him.
“I’m sorry about everything,” he said. “I was out of line.”
I was speechless for the second time in less than a minute, but I quickly gathered my thoughts and asked, “What about your future?” I was hesitant to forgive too quickly or too easily, even though his words washed over me like sunshine.
He looked at me with those little-boy eyes that always accompanied an apology. “You’re my future, Daisy.”
My heart betrayed my intent to keep perspective on this turn of events and began to soar. What woman in my situation wouldn’t want to hear those exact words from the man she loved and feared she had lost? I felt myself smile as my eyes blurred with tears. Last night I’d told Stormy I wouldn’t trust Paul even if he did return. I was a complete liar. He was here, and I just wanted him to stay.
“Really?” I whispered, choking on the word. Was this real, or was I still dreaming?
He sat on the bed and reached out to tuck my horrible hair behind my ear. “I missed you.”
The tears overflowed, and he used his thumb to brush them away before leaning in for a kiss. I put my hands on either side of his face and lost myself in the kiss for several seconds. It deepened, he moved closer, wrapping his arms around my back, and I melted into him, carried away by the chemistry and desperation to renew this connection.
I’m not abandoned. I’m not alone.
The kiss became more intense. His hands began to move; my body began responding. And then I remembered, and pulled back.
“I can’t,” I said, breathless and brimming with regret.
“Can’t what?”
“Be with you like . . . that.”
“Why?”
“Bed rest,” I said, hating it more than ever at this moment. “I can’t do anything that endangers the pregnancy.” But he’d come back . . . “I’m sorry.”
How could I say no to him?
He pulled away and smiled, but I knew it was forced, at least a little bit. “I understand,” he said with a nod.
He understood!
“I’ve got some stuff to do at the office, but I’ll come back this afternoon if that’s okay.”
“Yes,” I said, wiping at my eyes and bobbing my head. “Of course it’s okay.”
He gave me one more kiss, then winked at me on his way out of the room, leaving the duffel bag in the doorway of the bedroom. I was jubilant.
As soon as the door closed behind him, I grabbed my cell phone from the bed and texted Paige.
Paul’s back!
It was almost ten minutes before she responded.
For good?
I felt bad for bothering her at work but not bad enough not to reply. I paused and looked at the doorway where Paul had disappeared. Was he here for good? I hoped so. Why would he have come back if not to stay?
Daisy: I think so. You called him?
Paige: Yes. I thought he should know. Is that okay?
Daisy: Totally okay. I can’t believe he’s here!!!
Paige: Congrats. So . . . are you still moving?
Was I? I’d totally forgotten about the phone call I needed to make to follow up on canceling the first apartment.
Daisy: I’ll call the manager at 9:00 to make sure he got my message, but I was going to cancel it anyway.
Paige: Maybe hold off on renting the new one until you know what’s going on with Paul.
Daisy: Good idea. Thank you for your help.
Paige: Of course.
I lay back on the pillows and considered this shift. I wanted so badly for everything to be okay between Paul and me and for us to move forward the way I had initially hoped we would when he learned about the baby. I put a hand on my belly and took a deep breath, daring to believe that this child was a test of our true devotion to one another and that his return meant we were passing with flying colors.
Paige texted me again.
Paige: What about book group? I’d hate to do it without you, but don’t want to intrude.
Daisy: We can do it here. That would be perfect!
Paige: Okay. Good luck. Call if you need ANYTHING.
Daisy: I will. Thank you SO much.
I texted Stormy, and she called me at lunch. I didn’t try to read her tone too much. I didn’t want her to be disappointed that I wasn’t moving closer, and I hoped she could appreciate how big this was for me. In the end, she was supportive. What more could I ask from a seventeen-year-old than that?
Paul came home at one o’clock. He’d picked up my favorite chicken salad sandwich from a deli around the corner. That’s the kind of guy he was—the kind who remembered how much I liked their chicken salad. He worked in the other room for the rest of the afternoon. I had a million questions I wanted to ask, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t want to upset the fragility of him being here. I was banking on the fact that we’d have lots of time to discuss details.
I finished Silas Marner and put my hand on my belly, thinking about the man Silas had become through the love of a child. I was a different woman because of December. Different still because of Stormy too. What kind of changes would this new baby bring into my life? It was a relief to consider the positive possibilities now that I had overcome the hard thoughts and emotions.
Paul made cheese enchiladas for dinner and brought a plate to me on a tray before bringing in a chair and a TV tray for his own meal. I felt like a smitten fourteen-year-old girl the way I was smiling at him. “Thank you.”
“You bet,” he said as he began to eat. It was delicious; Paul was a wonderful cook. Partway through the meal, he asked how I was feeling. It was the first time since all this had begun that he’d asked about that. I took it as a good sign—an important milestone.
“I feel okay,” I said. “Stressed about missing so much work, of course, and already bored to tears from being in bed all the time, though Paige brought me some books and that’s helped. I might bat my eyelashes and see if you could bring the bedroom TV in here.”
“I could probably do that,” he said, using his fork to stab a piece of cheese-drenched tortilla. “How long do you think it’ll be until you get feeling better?”
The Newport Ladies Book Club: Daisy Page 20