“Don’t ever dare me,” he said in a low voice.
Becky tried to look bored. “Quit being a bully.”
“Quit sticking me with your talons.”
“You’re overdoing it with the physical contact.”
Tank grinned down at her. She’d seen more of that grin than she cared to lately.
“Told you I’d leave no room for doubt.” He brought her arms down to her side, still holding her hands.
She cleared her throat. “Well there’s no one left to impress here, so why don’t you just let me go and run along?”
He loosened his grip on her fingers slowly, as though he wasn’t sure if she’d attack when he finally let go. She was sorely tempted, but she simply crossed her arms. She really needed some space. This game they were playing was getting dangerous.
She took a step back. “I’m going to bed.” With that, she pulled a Tank and walked away.
***
The third year French class was restless. Becky tried to prepare them for their upcoming test, but the kids were not engaged. They had one thing on their minds; the status of her relationship with the former pro football player.
“Are you and Mr. Kimball ...”
“En Francais, s’il vous plait.”
“Si vous sont datant M. Kimball?”
Becky swung her head around. Someone had been doing her homework. She considered the girl who asked the question, and finally answered,“Oui.”
Like a subdued reaction at a fireworks display, the room vibrated with a quiet round of, “Oohs” and “Aahs.” Becky shook her head. So much for Tank’s plan of quietly breaking up in a week. The kids were invested, already. She could see the battle lines forming as sides were chosen.
She could hardly imagine what their health class would do. They’d barely survived day two of contraceptives. The kids had been fairly bristling with curiosity about their relationship, which had only been contained by Tank’s snarling looks and new bulldozer approach to teaching. He’d insisted on leading the contraceptive charge and Becky was more than happy to let him do it.
“Oh, Mlle Jacobs can I please ask you something in English? Please?” a girl named Bailey piped up from the other side of the room.
“Apres la classe, s’il vous plait.”
“Class is practically over. Pleeeease?”
Becky rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. But I’m not answering any questions about my ... friendship with Mr. Kimball.”
Bailey’s face fell a little, but she pressed on. “Okay, well, it’s about Mr. Kimball, sort of, but not really about your relationship.”
Becky’s eyes narrowed. “Talk to me after class.”
The girl’s face lit up again, and Becky sighed. “The rest of you can go. Please take the time to go through your review test before Friday.”
Knowing that very few of them registered her request, Becky turned to Bailey and her ‘sort of’ question about Mr. Kimball. She raised a brow as the student approached and placed her books on Becky’s desk.
“So, here’s my question,” Bailey began with a nervous giggle. “You know we’re having our Valentine’s Day dance, not this Friday, but next, right? It’s a semi-formal dance, almost as big as prom.”
Becky nodded. She’d seen signs up around the school, but hadn’t given it much thought.
“Well, Mr. and Mrs. Halloway are supposed to chaperone, but her baby’s due at the end of the month and she’s huge.”
Becky nodded. She’d attended her shower, and Mrs. Halloway didn’t look like she’d make it through the day. And that was almost a week ago ...
“Well, we need some backup chaperones - ideally a couple - or I have to figure out two more teachers who won’t mind giving up their Friday night and spending it at the dance. It would be perfect if you and Mr. Kimball would fill in. Wouldn’t it be romantic? You can dress up and everything!”
The girl’s eyes lit up with the possibilities, and Becky fought the energy emanating from her. It’s not like she didn’t remember how it felt to get all dressed up for a dance. This would be very different, however. She didn’t want to spend an evening on display with Tank; not when everyone would be watching for their every potential PDA.
Becky fought an unwelcome shiver as she recalled standing in the kitchen with him the night before, locked in a fake embrace. Tank’s pretend affection was incredibly unnerving. He was as good an actor as he claimed. Dumb athlete.
Bailey cleared her throat and Becky came back from what must have looked like a silly daydream about boyfriends and romance and dances.
“I don’t know,” she hedged, “I’m not really sure what Mr. Kimball is doing.”
The girl tilted her head. “Really? Wouldn’t you be going out on a Friday? Oh,” she sighed, “he’s just so ...” she sighed again and then blushed. “Sorry, I just ...” she shrugged and blushed some more.
Becky decided to have a little mercy. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Oh, you’re the best! Thank you!”
“But just for backup. We’re going to hope that Mr. and Mrs. Halloway are still able to come and dance the night away, right?”
Bailey smiled a very satisfied and knowing smile. Becky didn’t like it one bit. She’d used that smile plenty of times.
“Backup,” Becky said, again. “And I can’t speak for Mr. Kimball. This is all very tentative.”
Too late. Bailey nodded and all but hugged her before grabbing her books and running from the room.
Becky sat on the edge of her desk. What had she gotten herself into?
***
“Somebody’s got some explaining to do.” Grace handed Becky her cafe mocha with a huge grin. “Have a seat. I’ll just be a sec.”
Becky nodded and sipped her mocha. She knew Tank wouldn’t have talked to his sister about their whole relationship debacle, but it still irritated her. Didn’t they talk at all? Why wasn’t Grace demanding this information from her own brother?
Sighing, Becky put a tip in the jar and walked to the back of the cafe. Being in a fake relationship with Tank was stressful enough. Who would survive a real one?
A woman who was done with men forever shouldn’t have to worry about such things.
She slid into their booth, trying to think how she’d act if she were really going out with Tank. She couldn’t possibly generate Grace’s ever-present smile and dreamy-eyed demeanor. Sipping her drink, Becky hoped the caffeine and sugar rush would spark the enthusiasm she sorely needed.
Grace slid into the booth with too much energy. “Okay, I’ve only got, like, five minutes, so you’re doing all the talking.”
“Not until you tell me what’s up with Alex,” Becky hedged. “I haven’t seen him in months.”
She hoped the deflection wouldn’t bring up anything painful. Judging by the sparkle in Grace’s eyes, everything was just fine with her lover-boy. Still, Becky had been meaning to ask; she’d been so busy at the school and Alex hadn’t stayed at the inn.
“Oh, he’s fine - we’re fine,” Grace gestured dismissively with her hand, but her eyes danced with all kinds of extra meaning for the word, ‘fine.’ “He’s been staying out at Tank’s when he visits. Those two are getting along, which is pretty cool.”
“Really?” Becky replied, sipping her drink. Tank had become quite the social butterfly. She hadn’t even seen Tank’s beach house - not that she should have - but it still rankled, somehow. Then it occurred to her that people like Grace would expect that she was familiar with Tank’s space.
Better to avoid that conversation.
Grace smiled and leaned forward. “So tell me!”
Becky couldn’t help but smile in response. Grace was so excited, and so crazy about her own man, maybe her energy would carry the conversation.
“Well, first of all, you need to know that the reporter made it sound like a bigger deal than it is. We just went out a couple of times. He had no business calling us a couple.”
Ignoring all of the back-pedali
ng, Grace continued to beam as though Becky had announced their engagement. “I just knew it! I knew you, if anyone, could handle him. And I knew he’d come out of his shell with the right motivation!” She sipped her tea and continued to regard Becky with an open, hopeful smile.
Becky cringed a little inside. Tank was right; Grace was an easy sell. And so happy! Too many people were caring too much about this fake relationship. There would be a lot of heartbreak when they broke up that didn’t even involve the major players.
She tried, again, to downplay the whole thing. “Seriously, we’re taking it very slowly.”
“Well, that’s always smart,” said the woman who had jumped into a serious relationship with a high school friend after a week’s re-acquaintance. “And I just know you’ll be good for each other.” She grabbed Becky’s hand. “He’s a good man, Becky. He really takes care of the people he loves.”
Becky pulled her hand back at that, but Grace hardly seemed to notice as she went on about her wonderful brother.
“He absolutely saved me when I got divorced. Flew across the country to help me move out, gave me money to start this business, actually listened to me when I asked him not to beat Jim to a pulp.” She smiled as she paused to draw breath. “I know I’ve complained about him; he’s not the best communicator, but he’s fiercely protective, and he’s so much fun when he starts to relax. He’s not nearly so scary as he looks.”
She slid from the booth, having dumped a hefty load of Tank rhetoric in Becky’s lap. “I hate that I have to go! I’m sorry I didn’t give you time to explain anything. I’m just so excited! Next time, I want to hear all the details - your first date - what changed your mind - all the good stuff!”
With that, Grace spun away and hustled behind the counter to deal with the long line of customers.
Becky shivered and sipped her mocha. The fact that her friend was so very happy for her under such false pretenses was a little hard to take. The sooner she and Tank got back to normal, whatever that was, the better.
nineteen
Becky spread the sex ed materials across the table with a sigh. How was she going to sell the kids on a course of action - or inaction, as the case may be - that she’d never bought into, herself? She didn’t have to dig too deeply to acknowledge that her approach to sex hadn’t left her terribly satisfied, but abstinence? How would she ever convince the kids to take it seriously?
She picked up the resource book and flipped through the chapter. Apparently, in the past the school had taken the approach, “Kids are going to have sex anyway, so just make sure they’re safe.” That made sense to Becky. She could talk all day about the ‘safe’ hoops to jump through.
This year, however, the school board had adopted a more conservative curriculum. Of course, that meant some pretty hefty lessons on STDs and other delightful material to help the kids make informed choices. They’d covered the requisite contraceptive topics, and now the next step was to talk about the ‘alternative.’ No wonder the teachers originally slotted to teach the class had bailed.
Flipping to the disease chapter, a topic she had studiously avoided in the past, Becky sat back in her chair and started reading.
***
“Anybody home?”
“Out here!” There was nothing ‘out’ about the sunroom, especially with the fire blazing, but it seemed like a good directive.
Maddy walked into the room with a shiver. “Hey there.”
“What was it like to be a virgin on your wedding night? Or whenever,” Becky amended with a grin.
“Well, hello to you, too, Becky.” Maddy set her purse on the counter and slid out of her coat. “I thought we decided that conversation was off limits.”
“You decided that.”
“Well, it was a good call.”
“Oh, please, I never really wanted details. I just liked watching you squirm.”
“Nice.” Maddy sat down on the couch where Becky had settled in with her book. “Whatcha doing? Or should I even ask?”
“I have to teach Friday’s incredibly awkward lesson on ... waiting, and I have no idea how to do it.”
Maddy peered into her lap. “Doesn’t your teacher’s manual give you the information?”
“Sure. It’s all here. I just don’t know how to sell it.”
“Hmmm ...”
“Seriously, how did you do it? Or how didn’t you do it?”
Maddy laughed a little. “I wish I could tell you that I had some fool-proof motivation or resolve.” She sighed. “It was really only an issue with Phil. I didn’t date anyone else long enough.”
Becky snorted. “ ‘Long enough’ is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes dating someone long enough means you learned their name on the way out of the bar,” or the wedding reception ...
Maddy was quiet for a moment, and Becky wished she’d held her tongue. No use letting her sister know the extent of her own foolishness.
“I think the fact that it was unknown territory made it intimidating for me; more so as I got older and everyone around me seemed to be ... more informed.”
Becky nodded, grateful that Maddy chose to ignore her comment. “We always assume that everyone else is more experienced. I don’t know why. For all of my ‘practical knowledge,’ I still felt like I didn’t really know what was going on.” She laid her head back on the couch pillow. “So you got more cautious and I got more daring.”
“There’s a lot of pressure out there for kids - adults,” Maddy amended.
“Very young adults,” Becky further qualified, feeling older by the minute. “I look at those girls in my classroom,” she shook her head. “I know some of them are having sex, and it kind of breaks my heart. You’d think I’d be the first to understand, but I guess I also know the lonely road they’re heading down.”
“Lonely? You never seemed lonely.”
“I always got a lot of attention, demanded it, even. Didn’t necessarily mean I had a lot of close friends. And the guys figured out pretty quickly that I was ... daring.”
Maddy sat quietly beside her, and Becky again wondered if she’d shared too much. It was no secret that she’d been ‘active’ early on, but she’d never confided in Maddy about any of the details.
“So what do you think made you daring instead of cautious?” Maddy turned toward her. “Maybe that’s your starting point with your students.”
Becky looked down at her hands. She hadn’t had a manicure in some time, but they looked nice again. Maddy laid a hand on top of hers, her diamond glittering in the firelight.
The glitter began to shimmer and Becky looked across the room into the fire. “Taylor promised me ... oh, everything. He loved me, said we’d get married ... all the usual stuff, I guess, and I bought it.” She swiped angrily at a tear. “He ignored me, of course, as soon as I gave in. Never said another word to me. His friends, however, were very attentive.”
She could hear Maddy’s soft intake of breath. Becky went on before it turned into sympathy. “I actually thought I was pregnant for a while. It was a ... a lonely, scary time.”
Maddy took a hold of her hand, and Becky squeezed back. “I decided that it was the last time I’d ever be alone and afraid.” She turned to her sister. “I just kind of turned off my feelings and went for the attention. I figured that once I crossed the ‘sex bridge,’ it didn’t really matter anymore.”
She closed the book in her lap. “I look at these statistics on diseases, and I can’t believe what I’ve escaped. It makes no sense.” She ran her fingers over the letters in the title of the book. “Still, I wish I’d known this stuff then. I might have been a little more responsible.”
It felt good, somehow, to dump the hurt and the awful memories on Maddy. She seemed to absorb them without anything more than sadness; no judgment or criticism radiated from her. Becky finally looked at her sister. “Sorry for unloading all of this on you. Probably not what you came over here for, huh?”
Maddy smiled sadly. “I’m glad you told me
. I’m sorry you’ve been carrying that, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“Yeah, well, you were a senior - getting ready for college and winning all of those awards.”
Maddy took both of Becky’s hands in hers. “I should have been there to help, to listen. I’m really sorry.”
Becky touched her forehead to Maddy’s. “It’s okay. You’re here for me now, helping me be done with men forever and all that.”
“Except for the whole Tank thing.” Maddy shifted to better look at her. “You never really explained that to me.”
“Not much to explain. We’re fake-dating; it’ll all be over soon. And I haven’t changed my mind about men.”
Their eyes met briefly as Becky sat back and shifted her books. Maddy finally stood.
“Okay. So, anyway, one of the reasons I stopped over was to see if you guys wanted to go out Friday night.” She hesitated a moment. “Frank’s all excited that you’re dating, so he offered to watch the boys. Might as well cash in on his enthusiasm. Is that wrong?”
Becky laughed a little and then looked more intently at her sister. “Hang on. What’s up? You don’t really seem all that excited.”
“I’m fine. It’ll be fun.”
“Maddy, what’s wrong?”
Maddy shrugged. “John and I just had a ... thing. We’ll be fine.”
Becky shifted her books to the table. “Wanna talk about it?”
Maddy thought for a minute. “Kinda, but not really. We got into it over the apartment.” She sighed. “It was bound to happen. It’s really not that big a deal, except that Parker and Blake saw us arguing and I think, no, I know it upset them.”
She leaned over and shifted some of the pillows on the couch. “I figured I’d come over here and give us both time to cool out.” She stood and looked around the room. “It all seems really silly after what you and I just talked about. I’m feeling kind of bad for walking out.”
“You probably both needed the space.” Becky stood and walked over to Maddy. “And it turns out I kind of needed you, so ... maybe it’s okay?”
Done With Men Forever (Clairmont Series Book 3) Page 16