by Sophie Stern
“It’s just not Reece,” she whispers. “It’s...”
“Your ex?”
She nods, and this time I pull back to look at her.
“Tell me,” I say.
“I don’t want to,” she whispers.
“What did he do to you, Nicole?”
She just shakes her head.
Patience.
I remind myself.
I need to be patient with her.
Nicole is in a delicate place. She’s fragile right now. She’s been through so much and unfortunately, I can tell her journey isn’t over yet. Dragons aren’t exactly known for forgiving or forgetting.
They aren’t the type of creature who are just going to “get over” the fact that she worked for an organization hell-bent on destroying shifters.
I need to go another way, I realize. If I ask Nicole about her boyfriend, she’s just going to clam up. She’s not going to want to tell me anything at all. She knows me well enough, even after all of this time, to know that I won’t just let this go. She needs to know that I’m going to keep her safe, though, and the only way I can let her know that is if I get her talking.
So I try a different approach.
“Tell me about Lucky,” I say.
Bingo.
She’s instantly flustered. Yeah, she wasn’t expecting me to ask about them.
“What about Lucky? Why...what do you want to know about them?”
“A few months ago, they were capturing dragons in the forest, Nicole. They were hurting them. We lost some really wonderful men and women. They even tried to steal a baby,” I shake my head at the dark memory.
“That’s how Peggy came to be here,” she says.
“Cameron’s wife? Exactly. She saved a baby. She brought it back to us and found her way here. Now she’s a part of the clan for life, basically. She’s one of us now.”
“Lucky hurt Reece, too,” she whispers. “They captured him, right?”
Suddenly, I’m realizing just how little Nicole knows about the organization she was a part of. At first, we all suspected she was deep within the organization. We thought she was one of the agents responsible for some of the dark, evil deeds that had been done.
Now it’s becoming clear that Nicole is basically exactly what she said she was: in the wrong place at the wrong time.
She was offered something – whether it was hope, prestige, or the chance to save the world – and she took it. She didn’t realize just how dark the organization she was joining actually was.
Can I fault her for that?
Can any of us?
“They had a lab,” I tell her. “Several, in fact.”
“You know I’d only been working there like, a week, officially? I’d consulted with them before on random things, so I had some semblance of a relationship. My breakup with Micah pushed me over the edge, though. I needed something new. I needed something fresh where I could just be...me. I didn’t want to be the grieving girlfriend. I didn’t want to be the mistress. I wanted something new where I could just be myself. Bernie promised me I’d be saving sick dragons. She said the dragons of the world were in trouble, and I thought of you.”
“You thought of me?”
“You seem surprised.”
“I’m not going to lie: the idea of you thinking of me after all of this time is both exciting and terrifying to me.”
“Why’s that? Don’t you ever think of me?”
“Every day.” I admit it before I can stop myself. The lack of surprise on her face makes me think she does the same. She thinks of me? Really? Should I be delighted or should I feel bad? I don’t know. I have so many emotions whirling around in my head right now that I can’t seem to think straight.
Then I realize something she said.
“Mistress?”
She blushes.
“I didn’t know he was married,” she whispers.
“How could you not know?” My voice doesn’t hold judgment. I’m not judging her. I’m genuinely curious. How does a man hide his relationship from his girlfriend? How does he hide it well enough to have something that lasts long enough to break the “other woman”?
There’s no mistaking it: Nicole is definitely broken.
She fell hard for this person.
And that kind of makes me want to punch him in his stupid face.
He doesn’t deserve to have been loved by her. Anyone who would hurt her doesn’t deserve her affection.
That includes me.
She shrugs and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. She puts her hands in her lap and fidgets nervously.
“We met at my place or at hotels. He always had a reason why he didn’t want me to come over to his home. He had roommate troubles, or there were ants, or it was messy. There was always something.” She sighs and shakes her head. I know what she’s thinking, and I hate knowing that she’s doubting herself now. Getting tricked doesn’t mean she’s dumb. It just means he was sneaky.
“Sounds like he was good at hiding his tracks.”
“He was convincing,” she says.
“Hey,” I place my hand on hers. “He was the one with the problem: not you, okay? He didn’t have to lie to you. He chose to do that all on his own. It has nothing to do with you or your ability to be a good girlfriend, okay?”
Nicole swallows hard, but nods. She doesn’t say anything for a long minute, and I would do just about anything to know what’s running through her head right now.
“I guess you’re right,” she finally whispers, and I’m so relieved I could cry. Good. I don’t want her to blame herself. This guy sounds like a real piece of work. He’s not worth her being upset over. Still, I’ve got her talking. Now I need to keep her talking. The more information I can get from her, the better off we’re going to be.
“How did you meet?”
“Randomly,” she says. “At a bookstore.”
“You do love to read.”
She smiles a little.
“You remember.”
“Of course I remember. I remember everything.”
“Me too,” she says, but I don’t think that this is the time for reminiscing. This is the time for finding out what happened to her after I left. This is where I discover exactly what’s happened to the sweet girl I fell in love with.
“What happened?” I ask her. “How did that meeting go?”
“About as well as can be expected,” she says. “No, I take that back. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced before. It was so...ideal. It was almost too perfect. It was like, like a movie. It was like a scene from a romantic comedy. We both reached for a book at the same time, and then we bumped into each other, and it was just...it was really lighthearted,” she says.
“Almost sounds fake,” I say, and instantly, I realize it was the wrong thing to say because her eyes go wide, and then they darken.
“You would think so,” she whispers.
I cock my head to the side. Her breathing has increased and gotten nervous, tense.
“Nicole? What is it you aren’t saying?”
“I’ve been here for awhile,” she says. “In Fablehaven.”
“About three months or so.”
“And in that time, I’ve had a chance to reflect on my life. On us,” she says. “But also on Micah.”
“Okay?”
“There are a lot of things that don’t add up,” she whispers. “A lot of things that didn’t make sense at the time, but that now, I wonder about.”
“What do you mean? I mean, breakups are hard, but you seem like you’re scared of him. Did he threaten you?”
“Not directly,” she says. “But...Micah worked at Lucky. He didn’t seem very happy when I started consulting with them and doing work with them. In fact, he almost discouraged it.”
“Really? That seems a bit odd, especially coming from a cheater.”
“Well, yeah,” she says, agreeing. “It was always kind of a point of contention. The head of the marketing departmen
t would reach out with questions for me about scientific terms. Sometimes one of the other scientists would call and set up a meeting between me and one of the directors.”
“That does seem kind of weird,” I say. “You’re smart, Nic, don’t get me wrong, but why would a bio-engineering company call you to ask about scientific terms?”
“I’m not sure,” she agrees. “And sometimes, I’d get weird calls. They were supposedly from different departments, but it always sounded like the same person.”
“Do you think someone was spying on you? It almost sounds like someone was stalking you.”
“I’m not sure,” she says. “It was always kind of weird, but...after the breakup, well, I can’t help but wonder if maybe Micah’s wife worked at Lucky. I didn’t see it at the time, but everything that went down is so strange. I mean, it was right after we broke up that I was offered the job. I didn’t apply. It was just handed to me, basically. Then my first week on the gig, I get an assignment to go catch a dragon? And with cutthroat Bernie? It doesn’t really make any sense, in retrospect.”
I think about everything she’s said, and I agree. It doesn’t make any sense.
“Do you think your employer wanted to hurt you?”
“I don’t know,” she says. “I can’t imagine they planned for things to go as poorly as they did, but surely they knew bringing in a dragon wouldn’t be that easy. Not for two young females.”
Then I get what she’s saying.
“You don’t think they expected you to come back,” I realize.
She looks up at me, and she’s scared.
“I don’t know if they sent me to the woods to die, Lee, but I do know that the day before I left, I saw a weird notification about my bank. Like, my direct deposit had been canceled.”
“Why would it be canceled?”
“I didn’t get a chance to call because I was busy getting ready to come out with Bernie. I was really excited about the prospect of helping dragons in need. I didn’t think anything of it until later.” She pauses. “I’ve had a lot of time to just sit and...think. At the time, I brushed off the email as an error or a mistake, but what if it wasn’t?”
“What are you saying?” I kind of think I know what she’s getting at, but I hope I’m wrong. I hope that she’s just reading into things because she’s sad or bored. I hope she’s not actually suggesting that she was sent into the forbidden forest as a way to get rid of her.
Would anyone really be that evil?
Then I remember that it’s Lucky we’re dealing with, and my skin bristles. Suddenly, the urge to shift is at the forefront of my mind. I want to shift and be big and strong and here. I want to wrap my giant wings around Nicole and protect her. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her.
I want her to know that she is safe.
That she is protected.
I don’t love her anymore.
I haven’t loved her in years.
Keep telling yourself that.
I urge my inner-dragon to shut his damn mouth because I don’t want to consider that he might be right, that he might be onto something. I don’t love her. I can’t love her anymore. Loving Nicole is much too hard. It would hurt far too deeply.
So instead of admitting that I might still care, I focus on getting to the bottom of her suspicions.
“Did they do anything else that makes you think they might have been trying to get rid of you? And why would they do that? Especially after consulting with you for so long?”
“I don’t know,” she says. “I just don’t know.”
There’s something happening here. I feel like I’m missing a puzzle piece. Like, I need one or two more little clues and then I’ll have a better idea of what’s actually happening, but right now, I’m lost.
She’s still scared, though, so instead of talking anymore, I just sit with her, and I wrap my arms around her, and I hold her.
“You don’t love me,” she whispers. “You hate me.”
“I don’t hate you.”
We sit like that for a long time. I let the word sit on my heart for a minute and I realize that I don’t like it at all. Is that the message I’ve been sending her? That I hate her? Have I really been making her think that she’s not worthy? Have I made her think that she’s not special?
Maybe I should have been kinder to her in the breakup.
Perhaps I should have been more gentle than I was.
The reality is that I was hurting. I was in pain. I was fighting with the realization that the woman I loved more than anything didn’t want me because of my secret. Is being a shifter really that bad? She doesn’t seem to think so anymore.
“You aren’t afraid of me,” I whisper, suddenly realizing what’s different about this moment. She hasn’t flinched when I’ve moved to touch her. She hasn’t recoiled. She’s afraid, but none of that fear is directed at me.
“I know a lot more about shifters than I did before,” she tells me.
“I gathered. You know, since you worked for Lucky.”
“It was before that.”
“After the breakup?” I ask. Did she start learning about shifters after our separation? Did she decide to take the time to learn about me and my kind? Did she do it for me? A little sliver of hope begins to form, wondering if there’s a chance we could ever...
But that’s not going to happen, I remind myself.
Because I don’t love her.
I don’t want her.
I don’t need her.
Before she has a chance to answer my question, the door to the room bursts open and Jeremy darts inside.
“Good, you’re here.”
“What the fuck, man?” I jump up and snarl, irritated he’s burst in on this personal moment between us.
Jeremy looks surprised to see me react this way, and then his eyes go from Nicole to me and back again. Understanding registers, and his face goes blank.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, sir, but we’ve had a breakthrough.”
“A breakthrough?” Nicole seems confused, and I realize she doesn’t know exactly what it is that I do here. Jeremy and Marta need me, obviously, but I’m not about to leave Nicole on her own.
“There’s been some new information...that...” Jeremy stutters, trying to figure out how much he can say in front of Nicole.
Anything.
He can say anything in front of her and it’ll be okay with me.
I trust her completely, I realize suddenly, and it’s something that surprises me in this moment. For so long, I had villainized her in my head, believing that she was the reason for all of our problems. Now, suddenly, I’m wondering what would have happened if I had just been patient with her, if I had just waited.
Would things be different?
There’s no time to find out than right now.
“Nicole, I’m a hacker,” I tell her, standing.
“What?” Her heartbeat starts racing as she realizes what I’m telling her.
“A hacker,” Jeremy confirms. “One of the best, in fact.”
“This is Jeremy. He’s a member of my group. He’s one of the best, in fact,” I mirror his words, and Jeremy grins. “My team and I have been tracking Lucky and trying to find out what they’ve been up to, why they’re targeting shifters, and what they have in store for us. After you came into the woods on your, ahem, dragon hunting expedition,” she blushes, but I keep talking. “I realized that there might be more to this than we originally thought. But we shouldn’t talk about this here.”
“Prying ears,” Jeremy explains, motioning around.
“I don’t think anyone would be listening in,” she says slowly, but the realization that she doesn’t live alone starts to sink in, and she gets what we’re saying. “But okay. So...you have to go now?” She looks up at me.
“Correction: we have to go.” I reach my hand out for hers, and I wait anxiously.
Will she take my hand?
Will this be the moment things change?
An
d what will I do if Nicole turns me down one more time?
My entire life has been a series of roller-coasters and ups and downs and highs and lows, but something tells me that this moment is going to be a turning point in my life. It will either be the moment I realize how wrong I’ve been and that Nicole and I deserve a second chance, or it will be the moment I realize I should have given up completely and moved on, found a new mate, and found a new life.
I stare at her, waiting for her response.
Take my hand, I silently urge her, but no one can make this choice but her.
Will she do it?
Chapter Five
Wilson
Reece is looking rough for wear by the time we reach the clinic. We get him some medication to help him calm down. Fortunately, the drugs seem to work. Soon he’s much more relaxed and able to control his breathing, at the very least. I hate to rely on medication to help someone, but Reece needs more than I can emotionally offer right now. I simply don’t have the training to help him. Donald gets him something that helps him start to relax, however, so Reece can focus on getting through today. Soon we’ll have a therapist for him. I’m calling in some favors, but that is going to take a little bit of time. Hopefully we’ll have someone by the end of the day, but there are no promises in this type of situation.
Going against medical advice, I decide not to leave him with medical professionals and instead bring him back to my house, at least until we can get someone who can come talk with him about his trauma. I should have done this before, should have recognized his pain, but I didn’t, and I’m kicking myself for it. As clan leader, it’s my job to prepare for everything, and I feel like I really let Reece down this time. Hell, I let the whole clan down.
What would have happened to Nicole if Lee hadn’t been there this morning?
What would have happened if someone hadn’t stopped Reece’s attack?
He could have slaughtered her, and then I would have been the clan leader who let a human die while in his care. That’s what I would have been known for. That’s how I would be remembered. That’s not the legacy I want. It’s not the way I want to be remembered by anyone: least of all my clan.