by Alexa Riley
She bites her bottom lip and I touch my finger to her chin. After a moment of hesitation she nods and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Thank you,” I say, pressing my forehead to hers.
“You better not hurt me again,” she says, and I look into her eyes.
“Never,” I vow, before I press my lips to hers.
We kiss for a long time, but it’s not as hot and fast as it was before. This time it’s tender and sweet as I pour my heart into it. I don’t want to do anything to ruin what we might have, and if that means going slow, then that’s what I’ll do. There’s a fire inside of me that was lit the day I saw her, and it’s impossible to put out. It grows more every time I’m with her, and the longer we’re together the less I want to be apart.
“I’ll pick you up in the morning.” I say, and she smiles at me and nods. “I’ll text you on the way home.”
“Goodnight, Aiden,” she says before I lean in to give her one last kiss.
“Goodnight, my heart.”
When I press my lips to hers it’s almost impossible for me to pull myself away. But finally I take a step back and wait for her to go inside before I breathe another sigh of relief. I thought I lost her and I won’t let that happen again. I’ll do whatever it takes to make her mine, and that includes no longer being a married man.
8
CAROLINE
“Here.” Gia drops her phone down on the kitchen counter next to me and points at the screen.
The article she has pulled up on her phone is about Aiden and Savannah. I already read it last night when I went to bed. I was unable to stop thinking about Aiden, so I googled him like a stalker. It’s an article about his wedding day and there’s a picture showing them both dressed for the occasion. Neither of them looks like they want to be there. How could their families not see this? Maybe they didn’t care.
I got out of an interrogation by Gia after Aiden left last night because Marco showed up. He took pity on me and silenced Gia with a kiss that I’m pretty sure made her forget her own name. I made sure I was gone before she woke up this morning because I’m not sure what to say about the whole thing.
I place my finger on the phone screen and swipe to the next picture, knowing what it will be. It’s the only picture I could find of Savannah and Aiden actually touching and it’s on their wedding day. He has his arm around her and he’s kissing the top of her head. It’s not the way people would hold each other if they were lovers. I’ve seen Gia’s brothers do the same thing to her when she’s worked up and that’s all I could think when I saw it.
“Look at her, Gia.” The room is quiet as we both stare at the beautiful woman in the picture on her wedding day.
“She’s sad,” Gia finally says, sighing.
“Miserable,” I add.
He’s trying to comfort the woman he told me is like his sister, more so since he lost his own and he felt even more protective of her because of that. I saw the pain his sister’s death caused him when he told me about her.
“Misery loves company,” Gia mumbles to herself.
She picks up her phone and starts swiping and I go back to feeding Elvis, who is Team Aiden. He made that clear today when he did everything Aiden encouraged him to do without a fight. Not only that, he wanted to stay for all of the walks just to be with him.
“He lost a sister,” she mumbles as she plops down on the sofa. “She looks just like Savannah.” Gia shows me the picture, but again I’ve already seen it. It’s of the two young girls holding on to each other and smiling as they show off the same missing front teeth. Their resemblance is so stark, though they weren’t related.
“They grew up together.”
He told me their families were close for a long time and their businesses are loosely tied together. The more he talked, the more I actually felt bad for Savannah. I know what it’s like to have shit parents.
“I believe him,” I tell her, the same as I did last night. Aiden is a good man.
“I got that,” she says as she makes a point to look at what I’m wearing.
I’m going out for the night, so I’m not in my usual yoga pants and sweatshirt. I’ve got on a pair of wide-leg black pants and a soft pink sweater. It’s a little dressy but still casual. Dinner at his place will probably be a little more laid back, but I have to fight from cringing when I think of why I’m having dinner there. This has to be worse than when people meet the parents for the first time.
“When I’m away from him the doubt starts to creep back in,” I admit as I sit down next to her.
When he’s close I can feel that this is real and that I’m not making it all up in my head. The way he touches me and looks at me is so consuming and there’s no way he could fake that. Why would he? He’s handsome and rich and I’m sure it’s not difficult to find a girl as a side piece if that’s really what he wants.
“I just don’t want you getting hurt,” Gia admits. “You’ve finally turned a corner and—”
“I know.” I’ve started to settle in and to find me for the first time in my life.
“It’s not only about him,” she adds. “Okay, let's say it’s all fake and the marriage isn’t real. Where does that leave you? Are you set to become a life-long mistress? Where can this possibly lead?”
I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. Her words hurt, but they are the truth. She’s not trying to be cruel, she just doesn’t want me to sink too deep into something that won’t go anywhere.
“I don’t mean to keep piling it on, but they will be like your family—the people you’ve been trying to get away from.”
I swallow apprehensively. That’s one of my biggest fears. I don’t want to fall back into that world. Sure, Gia’s family has money, but they’re nothing like my family. Aiden’s family clearly runs his life. I get that he’s trying to protect Savannah, and even though it’s selfish I can’t come second to another woman.
“I’ll have to talk to him and put it all out there.” My heart feels heavy. When I was with him an hour ago, my eyes were heart-shaped and I forgot everything else.
“You deserve to be someone’s first, Caroline.”
I smile and nod in agreement. It might be a little pitiful, but I’m still scared to have this conversation with him. I should have it the second I walk in the door, but I didn’t want my night to be over so quickly. Scared that it would be the end for us.
It’s crazy because it’s too early to have this talk, but things changed and I’m pretty sure what I’m feeling isn’t normal. At least not this fast, but he seems to feel the same way, too. It’s hard to imagine him saying he wants me to be a mistress or something along those lines. How could he pick me when he’s known me for such a short time? Maybe he’s sick of living under someone else’s thumb and the thought causes hope to grow inside of me when it probably shouldn’t.
“Just be careful is all I’m saying,” she says and nudges me with her shoulder.
That’s all she’s saying right now, but I can tell she wants to say more. I think it’s clear I’m head over heels for this guy and I have to see where this can go.
“I love you, but I don’t want to have to dispose of a body. Sounds like a lot of work,” she adds, scrunching her nose.
I laugh, knowing she would cut Aiden’s balls off if he broke my heart.
There’s a knock on the door and I get up from the sofa to answer it. I level her with a look warning her not to start anything. I was scared he might cancel on me again like last night and I’m relieved he’s here. I grab my bag and say my goodbyes to Gia. When I open the door that same feeling I get when he’s close to me slips into place. I smile up at his handsome face and forget all the reasons we can’t be together.
“Hey,” he says as he reaches for me.
He pulls me to him, and before I can say anything his mouth is on mine. The kiss is possessive and like he hasn’t seen me in years. His hands dig into my hair as he brings my body into his and I moan into his mouth.
Afte
r what feels like forever he rests his forehead against mine and tries to catch his breath. “I have to stop now or we’ll never make it anywhere.” He brushes his lips against mine one more time before he reluctantly takes a step back and holds on to my hand.
As much as I want him to pick me up and carry me to bed, I know we need to do this. I know he’s not lying that he and Savannah aren't married beyond a piece of paper, but I know I still need to meet her. I remember the look she gave me last night and there was more to it than her playing the role of a dutiful wife. I want to say that to him, but I fear he’d take her side and end any kind of relationship we could have.
I can only hope that maybe she’s a little like Gia and is protective of Aiden. For some reason I don’t get the feeling she’s in love with him and hoping that one day he’ll see her as more than a little sister. But that could just be a lie I’m telling myself.
Maybe she isn’t miserable because she’s married to Aiden but miserable because she’s in love with a man who doesn’t love her back. Both sound horrible, but loving someone who doesn’t love you has to be worse.
We walk out of the building and a town car is waiting for us. The driver avoids looking at me and it puts me on edge. I suddenly want to turn around and go back home. Aiden must feel my discomfort. He gives my hand a small squeeze as we get into the car. I try and pull my hand from his, but he doesn't let me. When he starts to say something, my eyes go to the driver who can hear everything.
He closes his mouth and I watch his jaw set into a hard line. I’m not sure what he’s mad about, so I turn to look out the window. I close my eyes when I feel his lips on the back of my hand.
“Have you changed your mind?” he asks me softly.
I don’t look over at him, knowing between the softness of his words and looking into his eyes I’ll want nothing more than to crawl into his lap and have him tell me everything is fine. I can’t do that because the driver would see and who knows what will come of that. Is this how it will be if we’re together? Will everyone pretend I’m not around like the house I grew up in? I can’t live like that again and I won’t.
I look at the driver and I see him glance away quickly in the mirror after I’ve caught him staring.
“My heart,” Aiden says, and my stomach flutters. There’s an edge to his words, and when I finally look at him he’s angry.
“Not now.” I can tell from the look in his eyes he wants to push. “Please.”
I don’t want to have this conversation with an audience. When we stop in front of a house I’m a mixture of happy and uneasy. I want to get out of the car, but knowing I’m walking into a confined space with the wife of the man holding my hand is nerve wracking.
Aiden opens the door and helps me out, and then I’m shocked when he levels the driver with a stare.
“I said don’t stare at her and to not be fucking rude. You’re fired.”
He tugs my hand and I’m glad he does because I would still be standing there with my mouth hanging open if he hadn’t. I can feel he’s pissed because it radiates from him as we walk into his house.
“Is everything okay, Mr. Clark?” a man inside the front door asks.
Two security guards look to where our hands are joined and their eyebrows rise. My whole face heats knowing what everyone is thinking. I try and pull my hand from his, but he doesn't let it go.
“I can’t do this,” I say as we walk into the foyer and the door closes behind us.
“I’m going to fix this,” he tells me. “Please don’t try and leave.” The desperation in his voice has me questioning everything.
“Why did you tell the driver to not look at me? I can’t be a dirty secret.”
“I don’t know why I said that to him. When I got to your place it just came out of my mouth.”
I want to tell him it’s because I’m a dirty secret, but he cuts me off.
“Because I’m jealous and I knew he’d want you.” He’s so intense and I don’t think he’s ever looked at me with so many raw emotions.
I stare at him in confusion. He thinks the driver would want me? “That’s ridiculous, Aiden.” I feel myself getting mad. “You don’t have to lie.”
“He would, because they all do. I see the men at the food trucks, the guy with the black poodle on 54th Street, your doorman, and everyone else who sees you smile,” he grits out.
“David’s gay.” I look up at him, unsure why he’s thinks all these men want me.
“Who’s David?” His eyebrows furrow in frustration and I kind of want to laugh.
His jealousy is also turning me on and my body is totally confused on how to act right now.
“The guy who owns the black poodle,” I breathe out, and try to remind myself that I’m mad and frustrated.
“I don’t care what he told you, he wants you,” he throws back. “The driver was fucking rude because he wanted you, too, but knew I took you already.”
“You really think every man wants me?” I ask again to make sure I’m understanding what he’s saying.
“Of course they do. Look at you, Caroline. You’re fucking gorgeous and when you look at me I can’t breathe.”
I bite my lip to keep from smiling but it doesn’t work. “I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I lean into him so he knows I’m not trying to get away and I slide my hands up his shirt to his shoulders.
“I’m being an ass,” he admits, and I hear regret in his voice. He presses me up against a nearby wall and leans down close. “I’m sorry,” he says before he leans down and touches his lips to mine. I close my eyes and enjoy our moment together. I wish we could just be alone and the rest of the world could disappear.
“Seriously? Could you be any trashier?”
I jerk away from Aiden and realize I’ve somehow managed to climb him like a tree. I see Savannah standing there and I refuse to refer to her as anyone other than his friend.
“Savannah,” Aiden warns and his tone clear. He doesn’t let me go and she rolls her eyes before stomping off.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” I say as he puts me on my feet.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” Aiden says, looking down at me and ignoring my comment. “Because you do.”
“Let’s get this over with,” I say, and I walk around him into the lion’s den. I’m about to see if the man I’m pretty sure I’m in love with will rescue me when push comes to shove.
9
AIDEN
“Are we really going to do this?” Savannah asks, taking her seat at the table.
“Yes,” I say, my voice on edge, and she snaps her eyes to me.
“You said you told her why we’re married. I don’t know why we have to go through with the production of dinner. This is for her, not me.”
“I’m sitting right here,” Caroline says, and Savannah turns her eyes on her. My body goes tight. I don’t like the way she’s looking at my Caroline. I don’t care who she is to me. Some shit is clearly a hard limit.
“I’m aware,” Savannah replies and she narrows her eyes. “How could I not? You’ve managed to attract attention wherever you go.”
I open my mouth to defend Caroline, but she beats me to it. It’s not Caroline’s fault she’s so fucking breathtaking. I have no idea how someone else hasn't snatched her up already. I won't let the opportunity pass for me. I’m all in.
“What is your problem with me? Aiden told me that you’re like a sister to him and this marriage was his way of protecting you.” Her words don’t hold any bite. In fact, I’m pretty sure she is trying to be nice. Understanding even.
“Of course that’s why we got married. I don’t love Aiden as anything beyond a friend, and even sometimes I question that.” She shrugs and looks down her nose at Caroline. I know she was trying to take a jab at me with her remark, but she misses. It only makes me sadder for her. She doesn't see how ugly this has made her.
“Then why are you so upset that I’m here? Aiden
asked me to come to dinner tonight so that we could all talk. But it’s clear that you don’t like me being with him.”
“I’ve known him my whole life and I’ve never seen him so much as glance at anyone. Then all of a sudden you pop up and he’s talking about rings.”
Caroline's eyes widen in shock.
“Savannah!” I say and slap my hand on the table hard, making everything shake. I told her last night when I got home that Caroline was the one but I didn’t want to move too fast and scare her off. But I wanted to get a ring, hoping it would keep me at bay just knowing I had it.
“What? It’s not like she won’t find out. I’m just trying to be your friend and make sure you’re not making a mistake.” She purses her lips.
“I think the mistake was made well before tonight,” I say, and this time I see emotion in her eyes. She’s in pain. This marriage isn’t just hurting me. If I’d known this was simmering below the surface I would have fixed this before now.
“I know you’re his friend and you’re just trying to protect him,” Caroline says as she puts her hand on mine. “I care about Aiden, too, and this is a sticky situation.”
“You can say that again,” she mumbles and tosses her napkin onto the table.
“But…” Caroline continues like she’s not having to deal with Savannah’s shit right now. “You don’t have to like me, and we don’t have to be friends, but Aiden and I are going to be together. We can figure out how to navigate this together or we can do it on our own.” She looks at me for a moment and my chest aches to pull her into my arms. She smiles at me and then surprisingly she reaches her other hand out and opens it up for Savannah to take. “But you’re special to him for a reason and I’d really like the chance to get to know you.”
Savannah glances down at her hand and then at me. There’s a long pause and not surprisingly Savannah crosses her arms and ignores Caroline’s hand.