by Laiza Millan
She doesn't want to admit this to her friends, but back when they were only in their junior year in high school, Drake was such a great guy. He had treated her with respect and always made her feel beautiful.
He was just... amazing.
As much as how a first boyfriend should be... And oh goodness, she could even remember how they started dating.
She even remembered how he would always be teasing her for spending an amount of time on her homework, asking for extra credits, and always on the library... or when he would always call her Nerdy.
Nerdy.
That was always his term of endearment for her. Most couples would go for 'babe' or 'dear', but for them?
It was 'Jerk' for him and 'Nerdy' for her.
She used to love it when he called her that. It gave her a sense of pride, that yes; she is a smart nerd who happens to be dating someone quite attractive and charming.
But of course, no relationship is perfect.
It wasn't until months later; she noticed how he had been getting along with the 'bad crowd', and how distant he had become since being with those people, did everything change.
Emma heavily sighed. What the hell happened between them?
"Anyway," Jason said loudly, completely interrupting her thoughts. "As much as I hate to say it, Rogers is trying. Just go with the flow. If you're suspicious of his behavior, don't show it. Just go along and try as hard as he is."
It was easy for Jason to say. He didn't know what Drake was capable of these days. One day, he's that cocky git and joking with her, the next he kicks her out. Now he's that cocky git again and the next time? What if Drake changes his mind again and leaves Aidan while he's a teen?
Emma hesitated for a second but still shook her head. "I'm not going to just forget everything. But I will play along and always be on my guard."
"There you go!" Jason grinned. "Good choice of words. Play along. Tell us if he's being an evil ass and -"
"- and we'll punch him in the face for you," Tom finished for him, getting up to put his plates by the sink. He turned his head to look at her and winked, "By the way, great food. You cook better now than you did when we had our first date."
Emma rolled her eyes but laughed. "Thanks, Thomas."
The sound of a baby crying was heard as the friends continued their much-needed time together.
"Oh, sounds like the baby's awake!" Jenna beamed, getting up and rushing upstairs. "Aunt Jenna is coming, Aidan!"
Jason groaned. "I'm afraid she wants an Aidan of her own, Emma, and it's entirely your fault."
Tom grimaced."Disgusting."
Emma laughed; feeling more relaxed than ever before.
.
Saturday.
"So."
"So..."
The awkward tension in the room was so heavy that Emma could barely breathe. She glanced to her side but noticed the windows were already open, so there was plenty of air in the room.
"Let's talk," she said, breaking the silence.
"You were the one who wanted to talk in the first place," Drake scoffed, crossing his arms. "You can start it off."
But then again, he was the one who was so eager to see her.
She glared back at him and huffed.
"Fine. Let's talk about us first. To be able to raise Aidan in a healthy way," She ignored Drake's sarcastic chuckle, "We need to be able to fix any problems between us."
Drake raised an eyebrow. His gaze shifted to the ground, a tiny smirk growing on his face.
Getting up, he grabbed the edge of the chair and dragged it across the floor.
He continued that infuriating smirk of his as he walked towards her, slowly closing the space between them, before setting the chair down and sitting on it.
"There," He drawled, leaning back against the chair. "Go on. Fix it."
Emma gawked at him, noticing how close he was. So close, in fact, that their knees were an inch from touching. "That - that was not what I meant."
"You said between us." Drake chuckled, placing his hand under his chin. He stared at her with barely contained amusement. "Then you should have been more specific, Collins."
"Immature." Emma mumbled to herself, scooting her chair away from him.
Drake tutted, shaking his head."I thought this was supposed to be a civilized conversation?"
"It is." Emma snapped, feeling annoyed with how he still has that stupid smirk on his face.
"Well," Drake said slowly, "this is not how a civilized conversation is supposed to be like."
His tone was exaggerating on the 'civilized conversation.'
"Stop saying it like that!" Emma snapped.
Drake smirked, clearly enjoying himself. "Let us begin this so-called civilized conversation, then."
She wanted to smack him across the face so much. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten and let out a few deep breaths to contain her anger and annoyance. After opening them, she noticed Drake watching her.
"What's wrong with you?" She blurted out.
Drake blinked."What?"
She tried not to roll her eyes again. "I mean... you're different. Why?"
He still looked confused. "Different how Emma?"
"Stop playing around, Drake." Emma groaned, impatiently. Seriously, she could be doing something productive right now. "You're acting completely different now. I'm tired of your hot and cold games."
As if he just realized what he was doing, his body stiffened and his whole expression changed back into a cold one.
He swallowed hard and cleared his throat, making sure to keep his voice lack of any tone. "I don't see how I'm different. To be quite honest and blunt, I still think you're weak and I -"
He stopped, and looked away.
It was if he couldn't bring himself to continue talking. When he spoke again, his voice was rough. As if he was forcing himself to speak. But he stared at the wall behind her, not making any eye contact. "I still hate you. So what's different?"
"You're comfortable showing your son that you hate his mother? You want him to grow up in a family where his father disrespects his mother since day one?"
"No." Drake murmured, staring at the ground. He forgot how much of a feminist Emma is. "I don't hate you, Em."
Emma nodded, clearing her throat. "Wow. Anyway, thank you. You're being more civil. You were never civil these past few years."
"Well this is a civilized conversation." Drake's face went back to that teasing smirk.
"So, you're saying that after this conversation," Emma made a back and forth motion between them. "You're going to revert back to your nasty ways?"
Drake merely shrugged."If any of our co-workers ask me, 'Oh hey, isn't that Emma Collins?' I'll say something like, 'Why yes. It's that that one woman who had dated that dashing lad once, broke up with him, and starts fucking that Tom guy'."
"What?! I wasn't - Tom and I never...!" Emma snapped, reaching forward to slap his hand away from under his chin, causing him to flinch.
Normally, Drake would have snapped back, but he seemed more annoyed than angry.
"Am I wrong?" he scowled, leaning on the chair.
He knew he was.
Duh, he was her first. Her first boyfriend and... Well... her first first. Drake couldn't help but feel good about that.
"Very." Emma snapped, interrupting his dirty thoughts. "Also, I never want you to ever say a swear word in front of Aidan, do you understand?"
Drake only crossed his arms and remained quiet.
Emma growled, "I swear, Drake, like I said so many times, if you mess this up -"
"How many times do you have to tell me?" Drake snapped in annoyance, kicking one of the legs of her chair. It wasn't a hard kick, at all but still.
"Really Drake? Kicking the chair? Very manly of you." Emma said sarcastically.
He ignored her, glaring at the floor.
"Didn't you say you're going to anger management classes?" Emma asked, genuinely curious. "Because, I hardly see its working."
> His eyes shot towards her, "That's because I stopped going. It's not helping me at all... if anything, it just pisses me off some more."
"Well," Emma hummed, "if you're going to be spending time with Aidan, I expect you learn how to control your anger and attitude. You being civil with me is a good start, but once you get angry? Find a way to channel all your anger, instead of throwing stuff like a spoiled little kid on a tantrum. I don't want you to hurt Aidan. Yes, I get mad too, but I certainly won't lay a finger or throw an object at my son."
Drake's eyes widened, "Why would I hurt him?"
"I don't know." Emma said, raising an eyebrow. "I mean you can be very unpredictable when you're angry. What would happen if Aidan starts bad mouthing you and you accidently strike him? Don't get me wrong, I can lose my cool too. But I would know not to do anything too rash."
He continued to stare, as if whatever she was saying was starting to dawn on him.
Drake's breathing became uneven. "I would not -"
His eyes were wide and watery, filled with a mixture of frustration, anger, and... Wait a minute, was that fear?
His skin has gone a shade lighter, making him even paler than he already was. His hands were clutched tight into fists, so tight that she could see his veins popping out from under his skin.
Wow, she had never seen him look that scared before... except for that one time in high school when -
"No," Drake interrupted her thoughts, "You're right." He was slowly relaxing but kept his upper body tense. "I - I should take those classes. Except I don't want from the same one I took last time, because they were bullshit."
Emma beamed, glad he's finally getting her point. "Good for you, I'm glad. If you want, I can look for classes for you?"
Suddenly, Drake did something that completely shocked her.
He leaned forward from his chair and placed his hand on top of her hands. Oh shit, this is the first time in so long since he touched her without any negative intentions.
How awkward...
"Yes, please." He said, "And thanks. I know I've thanked you a million times already, but thank you."
Emma stared at his hand on top of hers.
Part of her wanted to snatch his hand away, but this is the first time in so long since he had finally shown how vulnerable he really is. She knew that he had rough teenage years, but she didn't really know to what extent.
As much as she didn't want to, and knew that he doesn't deserve it, she couldn't help but pity him. Feeling confused, she looked to her right and cleared her throat.
Drake blinked, watching her carefully.
When she continued to stare at anything other than him, he took his hand away from hers and leaned back. "What are you thinking?"
Emma was still deep in thought, she didn't answer him.
What could she do? Is he serious? Does he really want to better himself now after all these years?
Well... Jason did say to play along, didn't he?
"We both have issues, Drake. I do apologize for all those times of me being just as bad. I know I can be irrational sometimes, but hey, you can be a major asswipe." Emma shrugged, a small teasing smirk appearing on her face.
Drake, for the life of him, couldn't take his eyes away.
Emma sighed heavily and continued, "I don't want Aidan growing up where his parents are constantly at it. We will both work on us."
"I'm sorry too. For everything." Drake doesn't need to explain why he's apologizing.
"We should just try to take this one step at a time." Emma suggested. She straightened herself on her seat and raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response.
Drake nodded, "Right. But don't expect us to be friends or -"
"Who said anything about being friends?" Emma frowned. "Let's just try to be civil. I mean, really civil. No names, no insults. If you don't like what I'm doing, you politely tell me in private. Same goes for me."
Drake's lips curled into a unsatisfying sneer. What the hell, she's expecting him to be all goody-goody on her? He agreed to be civil for Aidan, but c'mon now. Being too polite is so unlike him.
"Deal or no deal?" Emma asked.
When he didn't answer, Emma's shoulders sagged with disappointment and got up. "Bye Drake, it really was nice having a real conversation for once."
Drake groaned. "You're a bitch, Emma."
"You made me like this. I sometimes have to be towards people like you to get my point across; sucks really. But, coming from an you asshole like you," Emma flashed him a smile. "I'll take that as a compliment."
He shook his head. "You can't expect me to change immediately."
"And you expect me to forgive you easily, after all you put me and our son through," Emma said, sitting back down. "You were in jail and was part of a gang, meaning you can still carry a threat - and you expect me to forgive you that fast and screw my dignity? But we will try to take this one step at a time... starting with being civil. We don't have to like each other, but for Aidan's sake, let's not show him any negativity."
Drake wanted to roll his eyes. Whatever, if that was what she wanted..."Fine."
To his shock, Emma's cold stare turned warm.
Her face split into a wide smile and her eyes lit up. He didn't fail to notice how obviously attractive that smile made her look, but he was starting to get uncomfortable and an oddly warm feeling was developing somewhere within his stomach, just with that look aimed towards him.
It was so disconcerting that he stared down at the floor again.
"Truce?"
His eyes shifted up, noticing her hand extending towards him.
One step at a time.
Try.
Swallowing hard, he lifted his hands and reached towards hers. He gripped her hand hard and shook it. "Truce."
Chapter 16
.
Feeling bored, Rich threw the book on the desk beside him. He glanced to his right to see Drake staring out of the window with a blank expression on his face.
"So, I don't know about you," Rich sighed as he got up from his chair, "but as much as I love sitting here doing nothing but reading a lovely book... I thought you asked me to come here because you wanted to, oh, I don't know...go running or something. Was I wrong?"
Drake remained silent, leaning against the windowsill.
One minute passed.
Two minutes.
So...
Rich, feeling awkward by the silence, noisily walked up to him. He peeked through the window Drake kept looking out of and only saw the mass of green from his garden.
"Yeah, your garden is quite fetching," Rich smirked, patting his friend on the back. "But I think, as we're jogging in the trail, seeing women with their tits jiggling up and down as they jog pass us is better, don't you think?"
"Have you heard from Collins, lately?" Drake asked suddenly, a frown on his face.
Rich frowned too. "I'm not sure. Why?"
Drake sighed, finally turning away from the window to face his friend. "She told me that she would keep in touch with me."
"Whoa, since when have Emma and you become best friends?" Rich asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning against the wall.
Drake scowled at his friend's foolishness. "You're an idiot. Didn't she tell you? For Aidan's sake, we decided to start over. As in, we have to be civil to one another and hold off this 'negativity' thing, as she calls it."
"Huh." Interesting. Rich smirked, shaking his head. "I give it three days."
"What?"
"Three days before you and Emma are back to square one. You'll be calling her those stupid names and she'll be slapping you." Rich began to grin widely, clearly amused. "Want to wager?"
Drake shoved Rich with his shoulder as he walked towards the nearby table. "Prick. What if I contact her?"
Rich, rubbing the sting in his arm, rolled his eyes. "Why would you contact her?"
"I don't know... I mean, she said she'd call me -"
"Then wait for her," Rich interrupted with an annoyed sigh,
throwing himself down a sofa. Clearly they were not going to leave anytime soon.
"But I haven't heard from her in two bloody days!" Drake complained, feeling agitated. "She said she'd let me know when I could see Aidan."
He threw himself towards the table where his phone lay, and grabbed it. Flipping it open he dialed the number, but paused when his thumb was about to press 'CALL'.
"Wait, but then I'll look desperate," Drake groaned, feeling confused with this foreign inner battle. "But, if I don't, I'll look uninterested, right? Damn it, maybe I'll just wait. But what if-"
"For fuck's sake!" Rich snapped, getting up to grab the phone from Drake's reach. "Grow a set of balls, or I'm going to think you're a damn teenage girl."
He found Emma's name and immediately started to text a few words. When he finished, without waiting for Drake to read it, he clicked 'SEND'. Satisfied, he handed the phone back to Drake with a smirk. "There, was that hard?"
"What the hell did you text?" Drake asked, glaring at his friend. "Rich, what did you do?" He opened the text messages and scrolled down to see what he said.
"Relax," Rich scoffed, waving his hand dismissively and walking back to the sofa. "I simply said that you were annoying me about seeing Aidan and to please let me know when you can see him. I mean, for goodness sake, you were damn nervous just to talk to her! You! Nervous!" Rich began to laugh.
"Fuck you, Rich. I'm never nervous," Drake snapped, clearly annoyed.
Rich rolled his eyes."Yeah, okay. So are we going to start jogging now or what?"
Drake rolled his eyes and nodded as he headed towards his closet to grab his outer wears and tennis shoes.
But as he opened the closet, he paused and glanced back at Richard. "What if Collins's respond and I don't hear my phone ringing because we're running?"