by Judy Clemens
“You okay?” Lucy asked me again.
I studied her, her eyes bright with caring, her back leaning against the arm Lenny had placed on her chair. They looked so right together.
“I will be. Now you’d better give your daughter dessert before she rebels.”
She gave a soft laugh and called Tess back to the kitchen.
I went upstairs.
The little box from Nick was still under my pillow, where I had left it. I sat on my bed, opened the case, and smoothed the note on my thigh.
Sometimes having only half of something is better than keeping the whole thing.
I looked at the golden heart that could be split in two. I did have the whole thing, the complete necklace. Just like I still had my own heart. Maybe it wasn’t exactly intact, but I hadn’t given half of it to anyone, either. I looked at the note again and read Nick’s final scribbles.
And lots better than having nothing.
Which is what I had. Nothing of Nick’s but this shiny golden heart. At least nothing I was claiming.
Rusty had Becky and the girls.
Wolf still had Billy.
Lucy had Lenny and Tess.
Gentleman John had no one, and look where it had gotten him.
I rubbed my thumb over the heart, then took it between my fingers and snapped it apart. The chains slid free of each other easily, and I looped one around my neck, my fingers shaking as I hooked the end ring into the clasp. I tucked it under my T-shirt, against my skin. The other half of the heart I slipped back into the case.
I found my duffel bag in my closet, dusty and smelling slightly of mildew. I pulled some jeans, shirts, and underwear from my drawers and shoved them into the bag, along with my toothbrush.
The little jewelry box I tucked into my pocket.
Lucy watched me silently when I entered the kitchen.
Lenny and Tess seemed to be having a contest for who could eat the biggest piece of cake.
“Think you can keep things running for a couple days?” I asked Lucy.
She blinked. “Well, sure.”
“I need…” I let out a big breath of air. “I’ll try not to be gone long.”
She licked her lips. “If you’re going where I hope you are, you take your time.”
“Where are you going?” Tess asked.
I looked out the window above my sink, where I could see the barn lit by the dusk-to-dawn light. Again, I saw the beauty of my home. The snow. The fields. The buildings. But for the first time, I knew—really knew—that they weren’t enough.
I gave Tess what I was sure was a crooked smile. “Somewhere I should’ve gone before.”
Lucy’s expression softened, and Lenny’s fork paused mid-air.
“But—” Tess said.
“Shush,” Lucy said. “I’ll explain it in a minute.”
“I’ll see you,” I said. “Thanks.” And I walked out of the kitchen, and out of my house.
I stopped off in the barn to let Queenie know where I’d be. I think she understood.
My breath hovered in front of my face as I sat in my truck, waiting for it to warm up. I pulled the jewelry case from my pocket and set it on the dashboard, where I would see it during the trip. To remind me where I was going, and keep me awake when the hour got late.
***
The two-story house on the hill was dark when I pulled into the drive. I turned off the truck and sat for a moment, double-checking the address to make sure I’d found the right place. I was sure I had.
I pushed the doorbell and tucked my arms around myself while I waited, biting my lip. Footsteps soon sounded inside, and the porch light flicked on. The door opened, and then he was standing there, his face a mixture of sleep and confusion.
“Hi, Nick,” I said.
His confusion turned to pleasure, and when he opened his arms, I walked into them without hesitation.
It felt right.
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