by Leen Elle
"You're lucky I was able to stall in the kitchen."
"Oh please...you wouldn't have died."
"I might have! The first three people were some of my mothers dinner guests. You know, the men that never smile."
"I am so excited to see these guys!"
"Viv! You're supposed to help me avoid them!"
"Did I mention, you look stunning!" Viv said with a sly smile. "These guys are all going to be fighting for you! What a night this is going to be."
"Should I change into something more ugly?"
"Absolutely not! First, I don't think it would make a difference, and would you really deprive me of such entertainment?"
"You are such a good friend..."
"I know," Viv smiled. "Now, let's get into the thick of it!"
Lilli sighed and let Viv drag her into the dining room where the few other guests waited. Immediately, she noticed Frank, Robert and Carl. They stood around the room, clinging to their apple cider. Viv gripped Lilli's arm tightly, nearly cutting off the circulation to her fingers, it was very clear she was trying to hold back a laugh. Who wouldn't laugh at the sight of these three, stodgy, uptight, perfectly pressed, delusional men. It was very obvious that each man thought that Lilli would be the perfect wife by the way they watched her, and it made her feel uncomfortable.
Trying to appear occupied, and unavailable, Lilli busied herself with the O'Connor children. Bridget was telling her about a new story her mother had read to her and her brothers. The boys, were using their empty glasses as toy trucks, having a race. Viv wandered around, talking to the other few guests she knew, before coming to steal Lilli from her charges.
"They have been staring at you since you entered the room, all three of them. Their eyes never leave you! It's getting a little creepy." Viv whispered, pushing her toward the appetizer tray.
"I know! Did you think I was lying when I told you about..."
"Shh!" Viv said frantically, her eyes pointing to a place behind Lilli. "One of them is coming toward us."
Lilli didn't dare turn, but she tossed her hair enough to see Robert advancing toward her. His eyes were set on her, unblinking, as he continued. Far too quickly, he was next to her, she couldn't help but notice his fingers tapping nervously at his side. A moment passed, awkward, unpleasant silence surrounding them. Lilli's eyes darted around the room, looking for some kind of salvation.
"Good evening Miss Windsor." he said finally. "I was very excited to get the invitation tonight, at the thought of meeting with you again." Though he claimed excitement, his face or voice certainly didn't show evidence of it.
Lilli blushed, her eyes jumping all over the room, "You may call me Lilli, Robert, remember, we talked about this when you came for dinner?"
"Yes, of course, forgive my formality, it's how I was raised."
"It's alright Robert," Lilli forced a smile. "Oh, this is my friend Vivian Davis."
Robert bowed, as if he was a gentleman in an Austen novel, "A pleasure to meet you Miss Davis."
"Good to meet you too." Viv smiled, rolling her eyes at Lilli, nearly causing her to burst into laughter.
"Lilli, I was wondering if you would like to dance."
"But, no one else is dancing." Lilli smiled, thinking she was safe.
"I thought, perhaps, we could be the first..." he said nervously, wiping a hand on his trousers, looking at the floor.
Viv's eyes opened wide, as if to say Lilli should accept his offer. Lilli could tell he was nervous, and felt badly for his discomfort, but she didn't want to dance. Everyone would watch, and it would lead Robert to believe she might be interested in him. Viv urged her again to accept, mouthing some type of encouragement in her direction.
"Sure, I would love to, thank you for asking." Lilli sighed, trying her best to sound sincere.
Robert lead her to the only empty space in the room, holding her modestly. His hands were sweaty, and she couldn't help but notice how stiff his shirt felt under her hands. She swayed to the music, focusing on staying at arms length as she kept her eyes pointed over his shoulder. His monotone voice mumbled on and on through the song and she managed to keep him appeased with a few graceful murmurs. That she was able to keep him unaware of her disinterest, proved that he wasn't paying her any kind of particular attention. Robert Denton liked to talk, he didn't care who he was talking to, he didn't even care if they listened. This was the kind of man her mother wanted her to marry, a dreadful bore who lacked any personality.
After her first dance with Robert, she had to endure two other, equally tiring dances. She was granted a bit of satisfaction, however, when Viv was forced to dance. Instead of thinking of the men who's sweaty palms were grasping her hands, she imagined Joe, suave and charming, spinning her romantically around the room. If she concentrated very hard, she could hear his voice, whispering secrets as he held her close.
"I'm glad I'm here." he smiled, his gaze locked with hers as he lowered her toward the floor, one steady arm on the small of her back.
"I am too, it's such a relief to know you're safe, and here." she smiled, unable to keep the wide grin off her lips.
"At night, in my lumpy bedroll, I dreamt of holding you tight, keeping you close while the music played."
"It's rather romantic that you think of me as a dream come true..."
"You are far better than any dream I've ever had. In my dream, I couldn't smell the sweet honeysuckle and pears that cling to your skin. I couldn't intertwine my fingers in your velvety hair, or measure your petite hand against my own. In my greatest dream I couldn't see the excited gleam in your eye, or hear the pitch of your voice. In my dreams, you are just a figment, and now, you are real, and better than I ever could have ever hoped."
Lilli nestled closer to him, tightening her grasp on the man she was never sure would return. "I love you Joe, I always will."
Lilli blinked, refocusing her gaze on the black shoulder in front of her. She turned her head, hoping to see Joe standing in a corner, anywhere. She loved him, she loved him and she couldn't tell him. Not in a letter. Then again, maybe a letter would be more safe, less hurtful if his feelings didn't match her own. She would think about it, surely she didn't have to write it in the next letter, especially if she would have a whole life time to tell him. Now, more than ever, she had to believe that he would return safely, she had to believe she wouldn't lose the man she loved.
Chapter 10
March 16, 1944
December 25, 1944
Dearest Joe,
Merry Christmas! I decided that you are the one person I want to spend my Christmas Day with. I've managed to sneak away from the festivities to see you the only way I can. I'm looking at your picture, imagining what we'd be saying, what we'd be doing. I think the morning would have started with two cups of coffee with you forcing me to open the perfect give you had bought me. You would have been far too impatient to see the look on my face. Then, of course, you'd open my gift, which would not be as perfect, because I don't possess the same amount of patience.
After presents you'd sing carols with me, adding a strong male voice to the chorus. Then we'd have dinner with the family, Roast Beef with mashed potatoes, green beans, corn and apple pie for dessert. You would hold my hand under the table the whole night, except when you needed to cut something or butter a roll. The day would end with hot apple cider or egg nog and a kiss from me. How does it sound? I can't wait for a real Christmas with you by my side. Sorry for the shortness of this letter, but I'm being called for dinner. Stay safe Joe, I'm dreaming of Christmas in your arms.
Affectionately,
Lilli
February 14, 1944
Dear Joe,
I hope you are doing well and Happy Valentines Day! I know if you were here, you'd have an entire day planned for us to enjoy. I only hope that next year, you'll be here so we can celebrate properly. Not to mention, I certainly won't miss worrying about you.
Your last letter frightened me a bit more than usual. You nev
er talk about your struggles with the war. Your letter paired with the news reports on the radio have left me very worried. I know as a rule, wars are always more difficult as they continue. Hopefully the difficulties you are facing will soon subside. I would like nothing more than to hear you are out of harms way.
Everything about this war seems to have intensified. Even Viv is worried now. Apparently she's become very fond of one of the boys she met at the U.S.O. He is here for training one more month, but she is worried about what he is getting into. Sorry this letter is dreary, and won't help to lift your spirits at all.
Let me try to amend that. Today I took the O'Connors for ice cream. You would have laughed at the sight of it! Bridget had ice cream everywhere. She was a mess, no amount of napkins helped clean her up. I had to take them all home to give her a bath because she was crying about her state of sickness! Of course the boys and I were laughing behind our hands. You definitely would have laughed being there, I know you would have enjoyed the day. Please stay safe!
Affectionately,
Lilli
March 2, 1944
Dear Joe,
I was very excited to hear about Sarah! I can't believe she married him! I suppose it makes sense through with all that is happening today. Honestly, part of me wishes that I had married you that night after our walk. At the same time, how much more would I be worrying about you if you were my husband. I hope that Sarah doesn't have to endure that kind of worry. Did you ever find out why her husband isn't yet enlisted? It is a shame that you couldn't be there, but I am sure they took pictures, and you have Katie and Annie's weddings to look forward to. I'm sure Sarah would have waited for you to come home if she thought she could.
How are Katie and Annie doing? Have you heard anything about Kate's secret romance? I hope that Annie hasn't wrecked your father's truck yet! You must miss them all terribly, and I know they miss you as well.
Mrs. Metcalf was asking about you today. She wants you to know that she's been praying for you everyday. It seems like all of our conversations focus on you. She always tells me that she expects to be invited to our wedding. I, of course, tell her that our wedding is quite a distance away. After all, you have to come home safe before we can even think about a wedding. And you would have to decide that you want to be married to me forever. I do hope you come home safe so that I can let my mind wander to thoughts of a white dress, flowers , and that all important kiss. I suppose until you come home it's alright for me to dream of that day, and of you.
Affectionately,
Lilli
Sam re-folded Lilli's most recent letters, tears washing the dirt off his face in small streams. He kept himself close to the sturdy tree, it's bark scratching the back of his neck. Dried sweat and dirt had collected beneath the chin strap that held his helmet on his head. They were in a forest, had been for almost an entire day. His unit was moving, they had been ordered to join another unit closer to the battle line. The journey had been simple, fun even, until they reached the forest and met with the enemy. It was apparent that they had received intelligence that Allies would be traveling this way, at this exact moment.
Several of his friends had already been shot, groaning on the cold ground, or worse. He and Wes had been crouching behind a large elm tree for what had to have been more than two hours. He thought this might be one of his last moments, so he had taken out Lilli's letters, to remind him of what was waiting for him at home. While he sat, he scrawled a short message to her and shoved it into an envelope which already bore her address. Since the fighting had become more fierce, he always kept an addressed envelope in his breast pocket, so he would be able to write his final words to her himself. It was tricky to write, not wanting to scare her if he ended up making it through, but needing to tell her the truth about his feelings.
Every muscle in his body was tense, groaning, begging to be stretched. He clung tightly to his rifle, waiting until the zipping of bullets slowed. Wes turned, looking directly at Sam. The most serious expression he had ever seen on his long time friend.
"I think we need to do something Sammy."
"And what do you suggest? There are nearly twenty more of them than us." Sam whispered, trying to remain logical. "They could call in reinforcements at any moment, they know this forest far better than we do."
"We are both a good shot. If you duck out that side, and I this one, we could get two of them. Just stay near the tree after you've shot!"
"Thank you for that reminder, I'm glad you think I'm such a good soldier."
"I do, but everyone gets a bit flustered when there are bullets flying. It was a reminder to you as well as myself. And, I don't want to face those sisters of yours without you." he added with a smirk. "Alright, on the count of three."
Sam's mouth went dry as Wes counted beside him. He cocked his rifle on two, then spun out from behind the shelter of the tree on three. Taking a moment to gain his sight he aimed and fired a second before Wes. Two objects dropped in the distance and Sam spun back behind the tree. Wes was breathing hard and offered a weak smile as they crouched down again.
"We're going to have to make another shot, or they'll find us first." Sam said quickly.
"Alright, wait for them to fire, or we'll be shooting blind."
It only took a minute before two bullets whizzed passed the tree. With one look, they spun back out from behind the tree and fired again. It felt like they spent hours playing this deadly hide and seek game for more than an hour. They reloaded their rifles three times in the process. Eventually, they moved to join more of their troop, racing and ducking behind trees until they reached the familiar faces.
"Private Carter, we need to run for more cover. You are the best marksman we have, can you provide cover fire for us?" Captain Hansley asked.
"Yes sir." Sam nodded, putting another round into his rifle.
"No Sam, someone else can do it, you're coming with me." Wes whispered, forcefully.
"No Wes, this is what we all signed up for. It's my turn to do my part, go, I'll make sure you get there safely.
"I'm staying with you."
Sam grabbed his shoulders, "I need someone to cover me when it's my turn to run, you're the only one I trust."
"Alright," Wes sighed in defeat, "but don't do anything stupid, you know how I feel about your sisters."
"Don't worry, at least Sarah won't give you any trouble, and besides, I want to get home, I'll be thinking of them the whole time I'm out there."
"And Lilli." Wes smiled.
Sam laughed, "And Lilli."
Wes gave a troubled nod and joined the others. The captain gave the call and Sam took position, his eyes open wide, tense with attention. He heard his fellow soldiers start to make their way across the forest. They had taken only five steps before Sam saw the first Nazi taking aim. He settled his rifle and fired two shots to be sure, then swivelled to the left, picking off another Nazi threatening his friends. Skillfully he fired more than twenty shots into the cool dark night. He heard the high pitched whistle cut through the forest and knew the other men were safe.
He sighed relief then readied himself to make the run of his life. The whistle sounded and Sam took off, leaping over the thick roots and holes that covered the forest floor. He could see the faces of his friends and Wes' strong back as he picked off Nazis that Sam dared not look at. Suddenly, he was forced to the ground, pain so severe in his leg he didn't know what had happened. Daring a look, he saw blood pouring from his leg. As he reached down he felt a hole in his knee, the realization that he had been shot made him forget his surroundings.
Before he could fully grasp the situation at hand, he felt a bullet sing past his ear. He dropped to the ground as quickly as gravity allowed. His mind raced at the seriousness of the situation, there was no way he could run but here, he was an unmoving target. Panic flooded his every muscle as he heard footsteps pounding toward him with great speed. Slowly he lifted his rifle above his head to signify his surrender.
"Put
that down you idiot!" Wes said in a hurried whisper, his face serious with thoughts of his task. "Where are you hurt."
"My knee..." Sam answered in equal quickness.
"Alright, one of you grab his torso, and the other hold his legs carefully. Sam, this might hurt a bit, but we've got to get you to safety."
Sam nodded, just now realizing that two other men had accompanied Wes. On the count of three, they lifted him. The pain of straightening his knee proved so excruciating that his body must have thought it best to escape consciousness. The last thing he remembered seeing was Wes' jostling head before everything went black.
Chapter 11
July 7, 1944
January 15, 1944
Dear Lilli,
It was so wonderful to receive your Christmas letter. I found your letter from the same time last year and read them both several times, somehow, it made me feel less far away. I can certainly imagine every Christmas with you curled up in my arms in front of a fireplace.
Truthfully, I would give anything to be home now. Things are becoming horrible over here. It's hard to even know if a bomb might be nearby because the blasts are so frequent. More and more of my friends are being killed as we face the Nazi's. I think of you and my sisters everyday, those are the only thoughts that make me forget the horrors of this place.
Keep praying that God will allow me to come home and enjoy a full life with you and my family. I know that He is the only way I'll make it out of here. I know that you have been praying, but I feel as though I have to ask you to continue to pray fervently.
Still Captivated
February 28, 1944
Dear Lilli,
I am sorry that my last letter made you so upset. I realized when we first began our correspondence that details of this war would only worry you. The mood of my last letter was because I had just lost one of my friends. It seems almost constant here and it becomes very depressing. I suppose I now think of you as the person to comfort me. But I will make sure to be careful with my letters, because I don't want to worry you anymore than you already are.