by C. L. Quinn
With a deeper sigh than she thought she’d ever released, the memory of the moment she’d found out that Tamesine was her mother returned, full-on, and transported her to that dark place. Fear drove her back out, and she pulled away from Park.
“No,” Dez denied. Then finished her thought moments later. “Yes. It was horrible. I don’t want to ever do that again.”
“It can be a wonderful place, a place of serenity and healing. In order for you and your mother to heal, you will eventually have to go with her.”
“That’s out of the question. You look for Zach, and tell me where he is.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely sure. Do it, Park. Find him for me. I’ll be right here.”
“Okay. Just have a seat then and relax.”
A hard nod later, Dez watched Park lean into her chair, her eyes closed, her breath even, still and silent. She didn’t take her eyes off the stunning redhead the entire time that Park was gone into that weird spiritual world that the first blood vampires used to find what was unattainable in the normal human world.
Dez had no idea how much time had passed when Park moaned and her eyes fluttered open, shut, then open again. She got out of her chair quickly and slid in beside Park.
“Park, you okay? You back? Are you all right? Do you need something? Park? Should I get Bas?”
Through the bizarre moments of travel into the spiritual plane, Park’s mind had stayed in a state of calm as she searched for her blood match, for Zach, out there in the world. Running her tongue around her dry lips, she clasped Dez’s hand gently.
“I’m okay. I found him. He’s fine, too, Dez. What I could tell, anyway. You have a long journey ahead of you again.” After pausing, Park released an extended breath and drew in fresh air. “He’s in Siberia.”
“Siberia. Of all the… Why would he go to such an inhospitable place?”
“That I don’t know. You can ask him when you get there.”
“Where?”
Burne’s voice interrupted their conversation, as well as Cairine’s sudden chatter.
“Mama, mama, we’re going to Grand-papa’s for dinner tonight.”
“Oh, that’s lovely, chérie.” Park’s eyes shot to Dez.
Turning back to the view of the ocean, Dez kept her eyes on the distance where white clouds reflected light on the waves.
Park caught Burne’s gaze. “Sweetie, would you tell Bas to take Cairine and join my father and the others? I’m going to stay here and dine with Dez.”
Wordlessly, Burne nodded, and dropped to smile at the patient little girl by her side.
“Cari, I need to find your father, and I need a smart little girl to take me. Do you know one?”
Cairine smiled and took Burne’s hand. “I’m very smart! I’ll take you!”
Park joined Dez, who was now leaning way out over the edge of the stone wall.
“I think you should speak with Tamesine before you go. But I don’t think a family dinner is the best time or place.”
Dez didn’t speak for several moments, then turned to look at Park. “I don’t want to speak with her at all. Someday, probably, but not yet. Every time I think that I might be ready, something ties up inside me and I back out. I will now, too.”
“Dez, you’re first blood. If you don’t reconcile this relationship, you’ll never get past it. Finding family is so wonderful.”
“Park, your father wanted you. He searched for you for years. My mother gave me away and didn’t look back. She never cared. I can’t care now.”
“That’s not quite true, my friend. That woman has been to hell and back for centuries, insane all the way. She’d been through the worst thing you can imagine. Dez, it wasn’t that she didn’t care, she just didn’t have anything left to give.”
Dez was silent again. Right now, with everything spinning in her mind, a reunion with the only man she had ever loved that would likely go badly around the corner, the last thing she wanted to hear was someone defend the mother who had abandoned her.
“Park, you’re right, I know that, but for now, I think I just need to take a beat. Why don’t you join the others for dinner at Koen’s, and let me go down to enjoy the beach?”
“I understand. Okay, but if you need me, call. You still have my cell number?”
“I do. Have a nice time. And bring me back something sinfully delicious. Chocolate cake would be nice.”
“He always has at least two three-layer chocolate cakes, so yes, I will. Relax, enjoy, and we’ll see you soon.”
Once Park and the rest of her family left the villa, Dez grabbed a big bottle of 25 year old Scotch that Bas wouldn’t miss, and even if he did, tough, and descended the stone steps that led to the edge of the Mediterranean Sea. Her pace slow, she counted them as she went, just for an abstract distraction, as she tried to clear her mind.
The cork gone from the bottle, pitched up on the balcony behind her before she left the house, she took a long swig of whisky that had been bottled back before all of this shit had happened in her life.
“To simpler times,” she called out, and took another lengthy swallow.
The air tonight was nice, warm, a caressing breeze, the sands gentle on her feet after she abandoned her boots. Billowy white clouds puffed up above her head, and Dez dropped a few feet from the furthest reach of the waves, and fully collapsed against the sand, her arms spread wide, the bottle still clasped upright in her left hand.
“Zach, Zach, Zach…” Dez whispered to sparkling stars. “Where are you tonight? Are you in someone’s bed? Is she beautiful? Have I waited too long?”
She sighed and pointed to a too-bright star that she thought was probably a planet. “God, you’re an emotional wreck! You’re a powerful woman who has lived a hundred lifetimes, this should be easy.”
A soft voice came from behind her.
“Living a hundred lifetimes isn’t as easy as you would think.”
Careful with the bottle, Dez sat up slowly. She didn’t have to look behind her to know who stood there, she would never have forgotten her voice.
If there was ever a time to be drunk… Dez upended the bottle and killed half. She felt her presence rather than saw it as Tamesine sat beside her.
“May I?”
Finally, Dez looked at the woman who held a hand out to her, now only twelve inches away. In the low light, Tamesine’s bright blonde hair practically glowed.
How was she her mother? The woman was everything that Dez wasn’t. Small, elegant, perfect…
Surrendering the bottle, she watched Tamesine’s every movement as she gently lifted the bottle and took a sip.
A sip.
Dez snapped, “This must be easy for you.”
“How can you imagine that?”
“You just show up here, all casual, and sit beside me like we’re old friends.”
“Desiree, I am sitting beside my daughter who I’ve never had a chance to know, who hates me and has a right to, who I want, more than anything, to find a way to gain her forgiveness. And I don’t know if that is possible. So, no, it is anything but easy. When Bas told me that you were coming here, I knew that I would see you, no matter how much you refused me. Please, Desiree, can we just talk?”
“Sure.” Dez reached for the bottle and switched her gaze back to the horizon. “Go ahead. Can’t promise I’ll listen.”
Tamesine nodded. “I’ll take what I can get. Since I don’t know how long that will be, I’ll get right to the point.”
Silence for several moments made Dez look sideways to Tamesine, but she now looked at the lapping water.
“Has anyone told you what happened between me and my sister?”
“Some of it.”
“All right. Short version, I loved her with all of my heart. She was my twin, and I thought that we were two parts of the same soul. She thought that I was an aberration that stole her power from her. So she murdered me viciously on a wild night on the edge of Scotland and walked away. Obviou
sly, I didn’t handle that well. For the next 800 years, I was certifiably insane. I remember only some of the events of that life. I didn’t remember that I had borne a child and that I’d given it away. Only this past year when I took a spiritual journey into those years did I find out that you existed at all.”
Tamesine still kept her eyes averted, Dez following the example, so they sat side by side watching the sky meet the sea, unaware that a connection was being made. Tamesine needed to tell her newly discovered daughter about that moment, and Dez desperately needed to hear it.
“So, once I knew, all I wanted to do was to find you, no matter what. At the time, though, I was pregnant again, with twins, and couldn’t clear my mind enough to begin the search. That was when I joined Koen in South America. You know the rest.”
A shocking revelation in a violent thunderstorm on a hilltop in Brazil had revealed that they were mother and daughter. Blindsided, unable to cope with the truth, Dez had bolted. Several months had passed since that night.
Now, seeking Dez’s complete attention, Tamesine touched Dez’s arm, and captured her eyes. “I saw your birth, on a spiritual journey. Seriously, Dez, until that moment, I had no idea that you existed. I gave you to a midwife who promised that you were going to an affluent family in London. There wasn’t a chance that I could have cared for you. Even through the scrambled thoughts of my psychosis, I knew that.”
Dez watched tears flow down Tamesine’s cheeks. “I did do the best thing for you at that moment, my dear girl. Truly, you should have been raised in warmth and love.”
Shaking her head, Dez dropped her eyes. What Tamesine said made some sense to her, and somewhere in her heart, she knew that people often gave up a child in hopes of ensuring a better life for the unexpected baby.
Could she ever forgive her mother for doing so, though? “She did do it.”
Tamesine tilted her head, wiping away tears. “What?”
Dez snorted. “She did it. The old woman, she gave me to a family that had one other child, a boy. They tried to love me, I think. But when I was about ten years old, my ability to read minds began to grow, and get stronger. I told my mother, she told father, they told a man of God, and they all threw me out of the house as a demon child.”
“Dez…”
“Don’t. Stop. That was a long time ago, and I rarely revisit it. I won’t now. But I guess you should know that the old bitch must have done what she told you she would do. Not that it mattered in the end.”
“I really wish…”
Dez exploded up. “Look. Okay. You’ve made your case, I get it, you’ve said the right things. We’re good. Okay?”
Standing, Tamesine smiled sadly. “We’re starting. It might be a while before we’re good. I’m not going to push you, I’m just grateful that you let me open the subject and tell you a little bit about where I was when you were born. When you’re ready, I would like to begin to build a relationship. You are family, Dez, you are first blood, you belong with me and those who love you. And you have a brother and sister.”
“Yeah, well, maybe someday, not today.”
“Fair enough. But Dez, if you need anything, if you ever want to talk or yell, or anything, let me know. I promise you, this time, I’m not going anywhere. This time, I’ll be here for you.”
“Sure. Got it.”
After another quiet interlude, Tamesine cleared her throat. “Well, then, I’ll leave you to enjoy this night.”
After moving up the beach a few steps, she turned and walked back. “Dez, you are a second generation first blood. I have a spirit amulet for you when you’re ready.”
“I don’t really know exactly what that is.”
“It’s your connection to the universe. To your powers, to your heritage. To your blood.” Tamesine smiled. “To me. All first blood vampires have one. They are unique to each individual and meant only for that one vampire. If you think that your ability to read minds now is powerful, wait until you can access your full talent. You’ll be awed.”
“How can you have this amulet for someone you didn’t know existed?”
“The amulets are created through first blood magics. Once the amulet itself is forged from metal found only in one unique place on earth, the blood of the parent merges with the metal, and then the amulet is buried deep into the earth to unite with the endless magic of the living planet. Once it is ready, it rises, on its own, and waits to rest against the heart of the one it belongs to. I had two made for the twins, but I want you to have one. It will recognize you through blood. Only one with my blood can activate a spirit amulet that I prepared. Your amulet is waiting for you, Desiree, when you are ready for it.”
Bending forward, Tamesine touched Dez’s hand, just a soft rub, a spark shot up as it had the other time they touched in Brazil, and then she walked across the sand, to the stone steps, and was gone.
Dez tried to absorb the past few minutes of her life.
First blood. Power from ancient magic, the first vampires in the world, born vampire. The stuff of legend, and she, Desiree, a name she took for herself when she had none, was born from legend. It was too much. She looked at the bottle of Glenlivet in her hand.
“Oh, old friend, the world is gone crazy.”
Killing the rest of the whisky, she meandered her way down the beach until it was time to return to Bas’s home to shelter from imminent daylight. To sleep, and God, did she need sweet unconsciousness right now.
Night would come soon enough and she would be on her way to Siberia.
Three
IN SIBERIA
“Hurry, up, I’m freezing my balls off here!”
“Olivia, you don’t have balls. And this was your idea.”
“Zach, how does assigning blame help keep me from freezing my eyeballs in place? Just get us the fuck out of here and in front of a roaring fire!”
A vigorous laugh that reverberated through the empty train station didn’t make Olivia feel any better.
She climbed up on a countertop, vigorously rubbing her hands together.
“You wanted to go to Russia, I told you about my friend who lived at Lake Baikal, and you said sure. And here we are. I knew it would be cold, but the last time I was here was in August a few years ago, and I just didn’t do the math on winter temps. Shit! I need another set of gloves, my fingers are frozen. Where did Zipper head out to?”
Zach shook his head. She’d taken to calling Zach’s friend the “Zipper,” which, not unexpectedly, Zip liked. Of course he did, anything the stunning vampire said or did completely enchanted Zip, compulsion-free. The poor human either had an epic case of lust for the beautiful woman or a tragic case of love at first sight. The word tragic came to mind because that was exactly how he’d fallen for Dez, immediately, and look how that had turned out.
“I think he went to take a piss.”
Olivia smiled. “Then I’m not the only one freezing my balls off here!”
“Speak of the devil.” Pointing to the back of the waiting area, Zach indicated Zip walking towards them with a can in his hand.
“Coke,” he said, after taking a long sip. “We’re way past hours of operation here, so limited options.”
“Ooh, gimme,” Olivia demanded. Zip hurried to her and handed her the can without delay.
Under his breath, Zach imitated the sound of a whip and moved towards the train. The compelled conductor spoke very broken English, but he came back through the door of the station.
“We are ready to go,” he said with a thick accent.
“Good God, finally!” Olivia started to jump off the counter, an easy jump for a vampire, but Zip already had her in his arms and carried her to the exit.
Olivia moaned. “Sweetheart, you are so warm. Can you just stay wrapped around me all the way to Lake Baikal?”
Zip’s answer was an easy smile as he passed Zach and boarded the train, Olivia pressed against him, her hands buried beneath his coat.
Zach followed them, the wind outside the door
bitingly brutal. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all…
“So, who is this guy we’re going to be staying with?”
Zip lounged comfortably on the vinyl bench, Olivia still curled against him.
“His name is Nikolai Zalesky. He’s human, but he’s read in. I’ve known him for a long time. Nik is a biologist who specializes in conservation. This lake is the deepest freshwater lake in the world, and a unique ecosystem, but it’s endangered by man’s activities, so he’s assigned here by the Global Protection Group for year-round monitoring. He’s a good man, dedicated to protecting this amazing lake with water so clean and clear, it’s almost naturally distilled. I think you two will really like him. Anyway, he is the perfect person to show you the incredible frigid beauty of Lake Baikal. As I said, I’ve only been here in summer, so while it’s going to be cold, we all know that winter has its own unique beauty. I’m excited to see it again with you two fine men.”
Zip’s eyes were closed, his hands buried beneath Olivia’s fleece jacket, his fingers moving gently on her belly. When she lay her head back against his chest and moaned, Zach stood and stretched.
“Well, the train is empty, so I’m going to take a walk, hit the food car and have some chow. I won’t be back for a few hours.”
Her eyes now closed too, Olivia smiled. “Good. Yes, Zach, enjoy. Linger.”
Zach knew that this was inevitable and he wasn’t one to stand in the way of the ultimate pleasure, so he closed the door behind him and headed toward the one car on this train that had exactly what he wanted right now.
Once the door clicked shut behind Zach, Olivia pushed up from the reclined bench and pulled her jacket over her head. As she dropped her pants, slowly, Zip watched, unmoving, but when her panties slid down her long legs, he reached for her. Still standing, Olivia reached for the curved ceiling of the train and held on as Zip’s tongue burrowed into her. He nibbled the swollen clitoris, his hands tight against her buttocks to keep her steady and to keep her pressed to his mouth as the train rocked on the tracks.