by Lori Foster
She did her utmost not to react, but damn, it made her knees shaky. Ever since her parents dumped her, she’d prided herself on being a strong person. In no way, not financially and not emotionally, did she infringe on others.
But things were piling up, weighing her down, and she needed privacy. Like...now. She choked down the fear and nodded. “I see.”
“The cord for the floodlight was cut, and I knew you’d be busy with...other things today. So I got some actual security lights and Hogan and I got them wired. They’re motion-activated, so if anyone gets near, they’ll come on. Animals might also trigger them, though, so if the lights do come on, I don’t want you to worry.”
Making her mouth smile wasn’t easy. “You shouldn’t have, but thank you.” She took a step back. “How much do I owe you?”
Frustration tightened his expression. “Don’t insult me, honey.”
As if a thin thread of rationale suddenly snapped, anger surged. “Insult you? You insult me by constantly assuming I can’t take care of myself! You overstep, often, and I’m just supposed to be grateful?”
On each stressed word, her voice rose until she became aware of both Hogan and Colt stepping around the house to watch.
She felt like a spectacle. And oh God, she felt weak.
Worse, she felt ungrateful.
“I want receipts,” she said in an unsteady voice. “For all of it.”
Jason gave one small nod. “I understand.”
The gentleness in his tone crushed her because it told her he understood more than the obvious. Even now he continued to treat her with kid gloves—while she acted like a bitch. Trying to moderate her reaction and her unruly emotions, she said, “I know you want to help—”
“That’s what friends and neighbors do.”
“—but I promise, I can handle things on my own.” I don’t need you. I refuse to need anyone.
She stepped away from her own thoughts, fighting the urge to run. “Thank you for what you’ve done. But going forward, please know that I—”
“I do,” he said softly.
He’d given her an out from the impossible situation she’d just created. For only a second, Honor closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she saw Jason stroking the worried dog.
Her heart squeezed for the animal. He, too, had been through enough. “We can talk about him tomorrow.”
“All right.” Jason didn’t move. “We’ll be done with the lights in another ten minutes, and then I’ll back off.”
It sounded incredibly lame when she said, “Thank you.”
“But...” Taking her by surprise, he moved in for a quick kiss, his hand on her face, his body heat enveloping her like a gentle hug. “If you decide there’s anything I can do to help, anything at all, I’d appreciate it if you let me know.”
Without giving her a chance to reply to that, he stepped around her and, taking the dog with him, went back to the side of her house.
To put up security lights for her.
Lights that she hadn’t paid for.
The panic bloomed inside her until she couldn’t stay still. Too quickly, she strode into her house, closed and secured the door behind her...then slowly sank to sit on the floor, her head on her knees, shaking from the inside out.
The fact that she could now afford security lights and more only added to her tension. She couldn’t think too much about the money without getting irrationally angry. It was like a giant exclamation point to her lopsided relationship with her grandfather.
He’d given her everything, and she’d had nothing at all to give.
Except...in his letter he’d told her what her time with him had meant.
Over and over her thoughts played with that idea, and with every fiber of her being she hoped her grandfather had truly known how much he’d meant to her, that she’d been able to show him how much she cared.
Neil promised her that she had. And he’d invited her to visit him as well. She thought she just might do that. Lunch with him would be the closest thing to seeing Granddad again.
When the outside hammering ended and she heard voices as Jason, Hogan and Colt crossed her yard to return to their own home, she stopped wallowing in indecision and went to investigate.
The second she stepped to the side of the house, the lights came on, spreading their glow in a wide arc. She peeked around back and saw more lights installed there, as well. Jason hadn’t just stuck in ugly floodlights. No, these were beautiful lights that matched the character of the house.
They were lights she would have chosen herself if, as Jason said, she hadn’t been so busy dealing with the details of her grandfather’s passing.
While looking at the lights, she also noticed the broken window had been repaired.
Conflicted, she went back inside and locked the door again. Why would Jason continue being so considerate? She should have somehow figured out how to do the repairs before he’d felt obligated to do them for her.
When it suddenly struck her that she still hadn’t gotten a garbage can lid, either, she closed her eyes in regret. She was failing, so he felt he had to pick up the slack for her.
Vowing to do better, she began on a mental agenda. Tomorrow she’d get started on it.
Because tonight she needed a shower, wanted to change into her big loose nightgown, and she should probably eat whether she felt hungry or not.
By rote, she accomplished everything, and finally at ten o’clock, she tried to turn in.
It hit her then, truly hit her; she was alone.
Hollowness left her aching and again near tears.
She tried to block it, but the silence closed around her like a strangling fist until she began gasping for each and every panicked breath. Unable to stand it, she threw back the covers and launched from the bed.
Dragging in air, she frantically looked around her dark room. It had once felt like independence but now just seemed cold and incredibly lonely.
Last night, with Jason, she’d found some quiet within her own brain, so it made sense that her anxious thoughts veered to him.
She remembered what Lexie had said and, disappointed in herself, she strode to the nightstand, snatched up her phone and called him. Her trembling hand gripped the phone too tightly and she held her breath...
He answered before the first ring had completed.
“Honor.”
That deep voice, gruff with concern, stole the remainder of her strength and she sank to sit on the side of the bed. For two seconds, her throat closed up and she couldn’t speak. When she finally managed to ask, “Were you asleep?” she sounded incredibly pathetic.
“No,” he promised. “Just sitting here hoping you’d call.”
Was that true, or did he only want to make this easier for her? Didn’t matter. “Would you...want to come over?”
“Already on my way.”
Surprised, she ducked to the window to peek out. Sure enough, her porch light and his combined to show him halfway across the yards. When she couldn’t see him anymore, she rushed to the living room, turned on one low light and opened the front door.
They each still held their phones to their ears.
His eyes were dark and filled with scrutiny. Pressing a button, he returned the cell to his pocket, then stepped in. Slowly she lowered her own phone.
With his gaze caressing her face, he smoothed her hair. “You were in bed?”
She nodded.
“Could I sleep with you?”
In every single way, he eased the hardship. “I was going to ask.” But now she didn’t have to, so instead she went in a different direction. After putting her phone aside, she stepped up against him, her nose to his naked chest. The soft hair there teased her, and she breathed in his comforting scent. “You enjoyed sex with me?”
Carefully, biceps flexing, he closed his strong arms around her. “Very much.”
“Good.” Needing no more encouragement than that, she pressed her lips to his skin. He was always so warm,
she thought, losing herself in the nearness to him, lightly kissing her way up to his collarbone, then his throat. “You smell good.”
His broad hands were still on her back, his entire big body held in uncertainty.
Yes, this was what she needed. A sultry diversion, sensation powerful enough to muffle the grief.
She nibbled her way along his hard jaw, his whisker-rough chin and finally to the delicious firmness of his mouth.
He passively allowed her to kiss him, but as she trailed one hand down his abdomen to the waistband of his shorts, he resisted. “Honor,” he chided.
“Please.” She couldn’t talk about it. She absolutely could not suffer his pity. One breath, another and she begged, “Please, Jason.”
For two agonizing seconds he considered her. She saw the heat ignite in his dark eyes right before he crushed her in so they touched chest to pelvis, his mouth hungry on hers, his hands stroking everywhere. Finally, finally, the bad thoughts receded.
Through her nightgown, he fondled her behind, lifting her to her tiptoes and repeatedly moving her against the solid ridge of his erection.
It thrilled her that he was already hard.
“Tell me what you want,” he whispered, then kissed her again, deeper, hotter.
“You. I want you, Jason.”
He switched to her neck, drawing in her skin, giving soft bites to every sensitive spot he found.
Turning, he pinned her to the door, his hands getting bolder as he squeezed her breasts, thumbed her nipples through her nightgown. Somehow he got one leg between hers, and she gladly moved against him in a frenzy of need.
“So hot...” Scooping an arm under her backside, he easily lifted her, and his mouth closed over one nipple through her nightgown.
Sharp need made her cry out.
She realized they were moving and then Jason laid her on her short couch. Before she could suggest the bed instead, he tugged her nightgown up above her breasts, stripped away her panties and sat between her legs, just looking at her in the low light.
And oh, how he looked at her.
Nothing bad could intrude, not now. Not with Jason.
Smiling slightly, Honor put her hands above her head and got comfortable.
“Jesus, you’re beautiful.” He caressed both breasts, repeatedly tugging at her nipples, bending several times to suck at her.
Escalating need made it impossible to stay still. She loved the way he teased her breasts, but she wanted him to touch her in other ways, too.
Hoping to let him know without words, she squirreled against him.
“Not yet,” he whispered, proving he understood. Again he returned to draw on one nipple until she was so sensitive, each soft suction was felt in her womb.
She threaded her fingers through his hair, and she wasn’t sure if it was to pull him away or hold him closer.
Abruptly he shifted, his hands on her hips to keep her still as he put a hot, damp love bite against her ribs, then down to her waist, over to her belly, where he prodded her navel with his tongue.
She was too surprised, too turned on, to be ticklish. “Jason?”
“Shh. Let me take care of you.”
She wasn’t sure what that meant, but she felt the damp heat of his mouth on her inner thigh and quickly whispered, “Okay.”
His fingertips moved over her, spreading her slickness as he explored, exacerbating already sensitized nerve endings.
She felt his breath—and held her own.
“Already wet,” he murmured while easing one finger just inside her, idly playing.
She needed more, and deliberately shifted.
He pressed his finger deeper. “Better?”
Without really meaning to, she clamped down on him.
“Let’s try this.” He kissed her thigh again—so close—then withdrew and worked in two fingers, gliding them in and out until she knew they were slick from her excitement.
Softly moaning, Honor opened her legs more, lifting one foot to the back of the couch and putting the other on the floor at the side.
“Nice and wide,” he praised roughly. “So hot.”
The way he spoke to her added to her growing tension. Toes curled, she squirmed—and he licked over her.
“Oh god.” Anchoring herself, she grabbed for the sofa cushions.
Keeping his fingers pressed inside her, he came back for another leisurely taste, his tongue moving over her sensitive flesh, stroking her clitoris until she gasped—and then drawing her into the heat of his mouth, sucking gently while still using his tongue...
Oh god, oh god, oh god. As if all that wasn’t enough, he raised a hand and found her breast, his thumb brushing her taut nipple, and she lost it.
Groaning harshly, her hips lifting to his mouth to match the rhythm of his tongue and fingers, she climaxed. He stayed with her, eating at her as the pleasure pulsed, expanded, over and over until it gradually began to wane, until, finally spent, she dropped boneless into the cushions.
Body thrumming in all the right places, Honor drifted as she caught her breath, half-asleep, fully sated, blessedly numb from reality.
Only vaguely cognizant of Jason standing, she waited for him to move over her, but instead he lifted her in his arms, cradled her to his chest and carried her to her bedroom.
She supposed a man of his size needed more room than the small couch provided. She put her arms around his neck and breathed, “That was amazing.”
“You’re amazing.” He lowered her to sit on the mattress, finished stripping off her nightgown, then...tucked her in.
Panic immediately clawed to the surface. “What are you doing?”
“Taking off my shorts.”
Oh. He wouldn’t do that if he planned to leave. The darkness of the room made it difficult to see, but she heard him moving around and a second later the bed dipped as he got in with her.
Honor had the awful suspicion that he expected to go to sleep, so she crawled over atop him. “I want you,” she said against his throat.
Always, his hands went to her backside. She was starting to think the man had a fetish.
“You just came,” he reminded her.
“Mmm.” Yes, she did. Thinking about it gave her another buzz, and she wiggled. “But you didn’t.”
“I’m fine.”
Meaning...what? She cupped his face in her hands, kissed a cheekbone, his jaw and finally his mouth. “I want more.” She licked his bottom lip, then lightly bit it. “I want you.”
Sounding tortured, he asked, “You’re sure?”
“I am so very, very sure.”
As if he’d only been holding back out of some misplaced concern, he groaned and she quickly found herself on her back. His mouth, voracious now, ate at hers with a surprising hunger.
Where she’d been nearly insensate only moments before, his need spiked hers right back to the boiling point.
She loved feeling Jason between her legs, his weight pressing her down into the bed, his hair-roughened body teasing hers in all the right places. She ran a foot up his calf, opened her palms over his now-bunched biceps, and against her belly, she felt his erection throbbing.
His hands were everywhere.
So was his mouth.
Before she could catch her breath, he opened his mouth on her breasts, her belly—lower.
Against her damp, heated flesh, he growled, “I love how you taste,” and proved it with single-minded attention.
She knew she was again close to losing it. “Now,” she whispered. “Now, please. Now.”
Finally he moved away to get a condom.
It took him only seconds before he was back, kneeing her thighs apart, opening her with rough fingertips, and immediately sinking in with a harsh groan.
So perfect.
She locked her legs around the small of his back, holding him tight.
Balancing on his forearms over her did amazing things for the muscles in his chest and shoulders.
The way he rocked into her
did amazing things to her.
Each thrust came harder and faster than the one before it, building the heat between them. The scent of sex permeated the air. Honor strained against him, reaching for release, needing it and the awesome oblivion it gave.
Readjusting, Jason slipped an arm beneath her hips and tilted her up so that each and every stroke went as deep as possible.
She cried out, but the cry turned into a throaty moan as the orgasm gripped her.
Taking her mouth, Jason let himself go, too, his entire body clenching with release...
It was the last thing Honor remembered.
11
NOT BEING AN IDIOT, Jason woke well before Honor this time, and he refused to go back to sleep. The sun was still crawling off the horizon when he got his heavy eyes open.
Honor remained curled trustingly against him, one of her slim, smooth legs between his, her head nestled on his shoulder, her small hands tucked against his chest.
He had his left hand opened over her ass.
That didn’t surprise him. The lady had a soft, heart-shaped behind that naturally drew him. Careful not to wake her, he stroked the satiny skin of one plump cheek with his thumb.
She’d taken him by surprise last night. Sure, he’d wanted her to call. He’d wanted to be with her.
But he hadn’t expected sex.
He hadn’t expected her to need him like that.
Closing his eyes, he thought of how she’d tasted, the way she’d reacted, the wild way she’d come. Thinking about it was making him hard now, but he knew the morning would be vastly different from the night.
Today she had to once again deal with the ugly issues.
God, he wished for a way to shield her.
She’d crawled into his heart without even trying, and every day the ways that she affected him grew stronger.
With her face tucked under his chin and her tangled hair half hiding her, he couldn’t see her. Using great care, he shifted her away, then brushed back her hair. She sighed and resettled herself again on her back.
She’d passed out after her last release and they were both still naked. Now that he’d displaced her, one pale breast peeked above the edge of the coverlet, exposing a soft nipple that he badly wanted to taste.