by Lori Foster
What was she? An ogre? He thought he had a patent on compassion? “I get it now. I mean, anyone with a heart and a brain could see that those kids need a little help and understanding. The one girl even had a black eye.”
“She got that fighting on the playground.”
If he thought to reassure her, he could stuff it. “She liked me. I think they all did. But I get your concern. I mean, I’m such a bad influence you wouldn’t want them around the likes of me.” The fact that she had teased him a little, calling him “sir” in a way meant to put thoughts in his head, left her feeling defensive. She didn’t think the kids had noticed—but clearly Sullivan had and he disapproved.
Did he expect more of the same? Inappropriate teasing? Did he wonder how far she’d take it?
Even before he denied it, Lexie saw the truth in his eyes.
God, it crushed her. Sure, she gave off a carefree air, but she wasn’t a person who would do anything—by word or action—to hurt a kid. Ever.
When she went to pull away, Sullivan held on. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“You didn’t say it exactly, but you came pretty damn close, and since I’m not slow, I don’t need it spelled out. You don’t want me around them.” Jerking away from his restraining hold, she pivoted to storm off.
Unfortunately she stepped on a shoelace and would have hit the pavement if Sullivan hadn’t caught her arms, keeping her upright.
“I’m fine.” Again she shrugged him away and bent to straighten her stupid shoe, tugging so hard on the laces she all but strangled her foot as she readied herself to go.
“Lexie...”
The lace knotted, frustrating her until she wanted to shout. “Leave me alone.” She’d known plenty of people, some who liked her, some who didn’t. But never had anyone accused her of being unworthy.
Shoving back to her feet, she hiked her purse strap over her arm and concentrated on not looking as hurt as she felt. “Don’t worry about me hanging around. Consider my monthlong contract a contribution to the cause.”
She turned to go, but again he caught her arm. “Will you wait a minute?”
“You have more to say?” She kept her back to him. “Because honest to God, Sullivan, I know I’m a tough girl and all that, but I’m not impervious to insult. I already feel bad enough as it is.”
“So honest,” he said softly.
“What? You expected me to be a liar as well as a corrupter of innocents?”
He gave a low, muttered curse that she barely heard. A few seconds passed before he spoke. “Doesn’t seem to matter what I expect, because you always surprise me.”
Teasing? He dared to tease her? She whipped around to face him, prodding his rock-hard pec with a pointed finger. “You wanted me to sugarcoat things to make you feel better?” Another poke. “Forget it! You’re being a dick and it hurts.” Again trying to leave, she snapped, “Mission accomplished.”
“Hold up.” He stepped around in front of her, blocking her way. “Please.”
Throwing up her hands, Lexie snarled, “What?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face, then released a tense breath. With a shrug, he said, “I don’t want you to go like this.”
That made her laugh, but there wasn’t any humor in the sound. “You want me to leave happy? Fine.” She managed a very mean smile. “I’m happy.”
“No, you’re not.” Oh so gently, he tucked back one wayward curl near her temple. “And truthfully neither am I.”
For the longest time they stared at each other while a simmering heat expanded between them, sparked, caught flame. While searching her eyes, he murmured, low, “You were terrific with the kids today.”
Lexie gave him a narrow-eyed look, confused by those words in the middle of the sexual tension. “Thank you?”
His mouth twitched at her uncertainty. “My concern was never how you’d influence them. Understand that, okay?”
Her chest tightened. “Then what?”
For the briefest moment, he looked away, but Sullivan wasn’t a coward and immediately his gaze came back to lock with hers. “I used to be one of those kids. I know how they feel. I know the chaos of their thoughts, their emotional conflicts.”
Imagining a badass like Sullivan as a needy kid made her knees tremble and softened a bit of her attitude. “I’m sorry.”
He disregarded that. “The adults in their lives are either too busy, too burdened or too abusive to be as positively involved as they should be. That’s why I’m here. I want them to know that they can count on me. Always.”
“They need that,” she agreed. Honor had been the same. It had taken a very long time for Lexie to convince her that she wouldn’t turn her back on her. Time—and evidence. Only then had Honor begun to trust her. “It’s admirable, but I still don’t see why I’m a problem.”
“You’re a problem,” he whispered, “because you confuse the hell out of me. How I react to you is different. I thought if you were just a self-absorbed party girl, we could play, then go our separate ways.”
Lexie bit her lip, wounded all over again—even though she’d deliberately given that impression, and even that covered what she, too, had initially wanted. Stubborn to the core, she said, “I am a party girl.”
“In some ways, sure.” He drew in a slow breath. “You’re also more than that.”
Thank you for noticing. She didn’t interrupt by voicing the sarcasm, but it did make her heart beat faster.
“You need to understand the time and energy I put into the classes and how determined I am to make the school work.” Emphasizing that, Sullivan said, “Those kids are my priority.”
Of course they were. Did he really think she’d missed that? “And now we’re back to me being a jerk!”
“Not what I’m saying, Lexie.” His gaze moved from her eyes to her mouth...and damn it, her entire body tingled. “I’m saying I don’t always have a lot of free time, and I can’t get serious with anyone.”
“Gee, Sullivan,” she quipped, letting the sarcasm out after all. “I think I can survive without your attention 24/7.”
“Good.” Cautiously he eased closer. “Because I’d like to spend my free time with you—and I’m free now.”
“No,” Lexie said. But her feet didn’t move. “We need to talk about this.”
He curved his hands over her shoulders and slowly drew her in. “Why? We both want the same things, right? That’s why you’re here.”
“I said no.” What did he want? At the moment she was more confused than ever.
His thumbs brushed the sides of her neck. “Will you consider saying yes?”
“No.” But they both knew she already was.
He drifted his nose over her temple, and his warm breath teased her. “Sex between us was good,” he whispered. “So fucking good.”
Good? She’d have called it stupendous.
“If that’s all either of us expects...”
She hoped for so much more, but God, she had no willpower.
Every breath filled her head with his rich scent and apparently, insulted or not, she wanted him. Didn’t mean she’d give in easily. “So we’ll get together whenever it’s convenient for both of us, but neither of us will have any expectations beyond that?”
He paused, his brows together in consternation. “We could take it one day at a time.”
Why she pushed him, Lexie couldn’t say. But she still smarted from his impressions of her, and that prompted her to lift a brow. “You want to screw me tonight?”
Accustomed to dealing with bristly attitudes, Sullivan gave her a slight but heated smile. “How about I kiss you a lot, and you kiss me back? Then I touch you in all those places I’ve already learned you like?”
Quickly getting into it, Lexie asked, “And I touch you, too?”
“Yeah.” He feathered kisses over the side of her neck, the rim of her ear, saying softly, “When you’re good and wet, breathing deeper and wanting me bad, then we’ll both come together.”
Oh,
wow. “Your version sounds better than screwing.”
He tipped up her face. “Only because I was an ass and insulted you, so your version sounded very cold and detached. But neither of us would enjoy that.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve enjoyed it before.”
He put his forehead to hers and, full of confidence, whispered, “Not with me.”
“No.” He had her there, which was probably why she was currently chasing him down for a repeat—and more. “Not with you.”
“Tell me you understand my dedication to the gym.”
Giving in a little, she nodded. “I do, and I’ll skip coming around, since it worries you.”
“The kids enjoyed you, and they already know you signed up. If you don’t show now, they’ll wonder about it.”
If they were anything like what Honor had been as a kid, they’d take it personally, like another rejection. Lexie couldn’t bear the thought of adding to their hurt. Hopeful, she asked, “So it’s okay if I keep attending?”
Appearing pleased that she wanted to, Sullivan smiled. “Better than okay. As long as we understand each other, it won’t be a problem for me.”
Well, bully for him, because for her it’d be all kinds of problems. Being an honest person, she knew she was already invested beyond the physical, but she’d take that to her grave before she’d humiliate herself. Giving a careless shrug, she said, “Sure. Then count me in.”
“I’m glad that’s settled.” He tilted back to stare into her eyes, his gaze searching. “Now, about tonight...?”
“We’re doing this?”
He answered by asking, “My place or yours?”
“Wow, I get a choice this time? Terrific.” Lexie decided it might be a good time to advance her own private agenda by getting more familiar with his life. “I vote your place, since it’s closer.”
With no hesitation at all, he agreed. “My shower is big enough for two.” Indicating she should precede him, he walked with her to the parking lot, and even opened her car door for her. “I’ll follow you there.”
Lexie’s brain was still zeroed in on the idea of showering with him, so she only nodded.
Okay, so they had great sexual chemistry. She could work with that. And if he never decided to make room for her in his life...well, she’d just have to figure that out later. After all, he’d insisted they take it one day at a time.
And since he no longer objected to her being at his gym, she’d have a full month to work on him.
* * *
Over the next few days, it became routine for Jason to stay the night, and for Colt and Hogan to join them on the porch for coffee.
Honor loved it. It was such a friendly way to start her day, and honestly she felt less frazzled after the casual visit. Jason stayed so attentive to her it sometimes made her blush. And Diesel was so sweet she missed the dog when he wasn’t around. He had a very calming effect on her.
What surprised her most though was the accumulation of porch furniture that accompanied the visits.
Hogan and Colt brought over two incredibly beautiful wooden rockers to sit on, but when they left they insisted they were a housewarming gift and absolutely refused to take them back.
The morning after that, Nathan came to visit, too, and he brought his own lawn chair—then left it behind. He claimed it was his “visiting” chair.
The day before the funeral, Lexie dropped by, and darned if she didn’t have a big shopping bag with her.
Usually gifts made her uneasy, but she must have been getting used to it because this time it almost made Honor laugh. “Not you, too?”
“I’ve missed you,” Lexie said, setting aside the bag and grabbing Honor for a very tight hug. Honor was aware of Hogan and Jason watching, indulgent smiles on their faces. This time Sullivan was there, too, sipping coffee and watching Lexie in a most intimate way.
Not that long ago, Honor would have felt like a spectacle under so much attention, but now...darn it, it just felt nice.
Lexie wasn’t a morning person, especially when she didn’t need to be at work for a few more hours. After a return squeeze, Honor held her back. “You’re up and about early.”
“I was in the neighborhood,” she said with an exaggerated wink, which sent all curious gazes to Sullivan.
He looked to the skies as if praying for patience.
Practically advertising the fact that she’d been with Sullivan, Lexie said, “I saw the chairs on the porch and decided this would make a nice gift.”
Honor accepted the bag but didn’t open it. “You already gave me a housewarming present.”
Lexie shrugged. “This one’s from Sullivan.”
Smiling at her, Sullivan said, “Lexie knows your taste better than me, so she helped with the selection.”
“But...” She honestly had no idea what to say.
Jason squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t keep us in suspense.”
She peeked into the giant gift bag—and found seat cushions and throw pillows for all the chairs. The bright, sunny pattern was absolute perfection.
Slowly she sank to sit on a step. “They’re beautiful.”
Jason pulled one from the bag. “Nice.”
Colt took it from his uncle and put it on a chair. “They look good.”
Hogan sat down before Colt could, then proclaimed the cushions “Comfortable.”
Covering her mouth with a hand, Honor laughed, sniffled and fought off emotional tears.
The mixed signals confused Diesel and he rushed to her, licking her face, snuffling against her neck until the only emotion she could feel was gratitude.
Little by little, the company waned.
Sullivan had an early class, so he hugged Honor, then kissed Lexie before going.
Oh boy. Honor couldn’t wait to find out what was happening there. She realized that she’d been very self-absorbed the last few days and had clearly missed a few things.
After that, Hogan said he had an interview and needed to leave.
“Interview for what?” Lexie asked.
“A local accounting firm.”
Arching a brow, Lexie said, “Seriously? Because even though you try, you’re totally missing the corporate vibe.”
“I was a damn successful accountant for years.”
“I’m sure you’d be successful at whatever you do.”
That stymied Hogan—until she added, “But were you happy? Rhetorical question, because I’m certain you weren’t.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Honor heard the edge in Hogan’s tone and hoped Lexie would moderate her nosiness.
Instead her friend gave Hogan’s biceps a firm squeeze. “I know you’re built more like a bouncer. Or...” She considered him head to toe, making Hogan’s eyes narrow. “I could see you doing something outdoorsy. Like landscaper maybe. What do you think?”
“I think you like being irritating.”
Lexie sighed. “Fine. Resign yourself to a miserable fate. It’s not my life.” Without giving Hogan a chance for rebuttal, she hugged Honor again. “I have to get going, too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I have the...the funeral tomorrow.”
“I know.” Lexie gave her a level, no-nonsense stare. “And I’ll be there.” When Honor started to speak, Lexie said, “No argument. It’s what sisters do, and no matter what you say, I am your sister—in all the ways that count.” She lifted a hand in careless farewell to the others and took off.
Honor stood there, bombarded by a dozen different emotional reactions. She wouldn’t be facing the funeral alone. But it was so unfair to do that to Lexie. And what would the relatives think? For sure they’d butt heads with Lexie and—
“I’ll be there for the visitation,” Hogan said.
Her mouth fell open. “But—”
“And me,” Colt added.
Eyes wide, Honor looked at each of them in turn. “You guys never knew my grandfather.”
“They know you,” Jason ex
plained.
And they thought she was so weak they had to show up to a stranger’s funeral to offer moral support?
In a move very similar to his brother’s, Hogan cupped the side of her neck. “I have to roll or I’ll be late. Thanks for the coffee, and the company.” He kissed her forehead, leaving her flustered.
Colt looked at Jason, then Honor. “I’m taking Diesel for a walk.” And he, too, kissed her, but on the cheek.
Totally flummoxed, Honor watched them go.
Then Jason’s strong arms came around her from behind, his hands lacing over her stomach. “You probably already know that I’ll be there, as well.”
Her shoulders slumped.
She absolutely couldn’t do that to him. “You met Gina, Janet and Terry. You know how they’ll be. Even Celeste is tough to take on a good day. During a funeral, she’ll be more autocratic than usual.”
Rocking her a little, he said, “We’ll ignore them.”
If only it was ever that easy. “They’ll think—”
Jason turned her so quickly it surprised her. Emphatic, he said, “Who cares what they think? I don’t, and I wish you wouldn’t, either.”
That dangerous emotion of hope battled with uncertainty. Could it really be that easy?
“Think about it this way,” he told her, ready to tip the scales. “If I’m there but not with you, then what will they think?”
Honor honestly didn’t know, but she assumed it wouldn’t be good.
They were still staring at each other when a car pulled into Jason’s driveway, making him curse, low.
“Customer?” she asked.
“Yeah. He wants me to build a playhouse for his kids that coordinates with the design of their home.”
“Like your garage and your house?”
“Same principle but much smaller scale.” Somber, he reiterated, “I’m going with you tomorrow.”
Having never been in a relationship like this one, Honor just wasn’t sure what was the norm. She had a difficult enough time figuring out stuff with Lexie.
Feeling very tentative about it, she nodded. “Okay, thank you.”
It was absurd that Jason looked so satisfied with her concession. The man would be attending a funeral.
With her relatives.
There was no way he actually wanted to do it. Heck, she didn’t even want to do it.