Yet, there was a certain edge to her voice, a certain threat disguised as kindness. Kathy knew that it would be better for her to comply. She would play along with Hillary’s little game, at least for a short while, until she figured out what she was up to. What could Hillary possibly do to her? She was just a petite young girl, after all. She almost felt silly about feeling so afraid of her. Maybe having Michael gone would give her a chance to reconnect with the daughter she once knew and loved so dearly.
Yet, her heart ached over Caleigh’s absence. She just wanted to know that her little girl was okay, that she was safe. She couldn’t bear to think of Michael hurting her the way he hurt Hillary. Hillary was always the tougher, stronger one. Caleigh would never be able to cope.
“You’re so quiet, Mom...what’s on your mind?”
“Just thinking about Library Board stuff,” she replied softly, a forced smile stretching across her face.
“Do you like the soup?”
“It’s really good, Hillary. I had no idea you had an interest in cooking.”
“I learned from my Home Economics class. It’s easy. Can I make dinner tomorrow night too?”
“Of course you can.”
The mood was light. It took an enormous effort on Kathy’s part, but she managed to keep things civil. Kathy was grateful for the lack of tension and hostility. There was so much on her mind. She couldn’t deal with any more outbursts or confrontations.
While Joshua had slept beside her, she remained wide awake staring up at the ceiling, trying to comprehend what was going on. She would go back and forth between pitying Hillary and fearing her. She had always been such a wonderfully sweet and loving girl. After things had changed for her, however, she had grown incredibly bitter, angry and hateful. Kathy tried to be understanding, even within the confines of her steadfast denial. But when Hillary cut Storm’s tail off, Kathy discovered that she was far more like Michael than she wanted to believe. She had somehow inherited his madness, his evil streak. She was tainted and there was no way of knowing just how much violence and abomination she was capable of.
“Where’s Daddy?” Joshua asked, his small voice squeaking like a mouse.
“Eat your soup, honey,” Kathy responded softly, suppressing her anxieties.
“Where’s Lee Lee?”
“Joshua, just eat!” she admonished, hurting the little boy’s feelings. His bottom lip stuck out in an exaggerated pout.
“You’ll see Daddy and Lee Lee soon, Joshy,” Hillary assured him with a warm smile.
Joshua shifted in his chair as he turned to face her.
“Hide and seek?” Joshua asked her cautiously.
“It’s too late now, you have to finish your dinner and take a bath,” Kathy answered before Hillary could have the chance.
The smile stayed on Hillary’s face. Her eyes sparkled brightly like stars on a dark night. She was the perfect picture of beauty, grace and kindness.
“Tomorrow, Joshy...tomorrow we’ll play together.”
Joshua returned her smile excitedly. His faith in his sister was renewed by her smile and promise to play his favorite game.
“I’m not very hungry, may I be excused?”
After a slight pause, Kathy replied, “yes, yes of course...thank you for cooking for us.”
It was as if another version of Hillary had assumed her daughter’s body. She could get used to this one.
“I’m going to plan tomorrow’s dinner,” Hillary said eagerly, “can you pick up some potatoes and carrots before you come home tomorrow?”
Kathy nodded then said, “I’ll be home early tomorrow, maybe I can give you a hand.”
“It’s okay, I’m planning a special meal and I want to do it all by myself.”
“Okay, sweetheart, thanks again for the soup...it was delicious.”
Hillary smiled as she picked up her bowl and walked to the kitchen. She had a special meal in mind and she couldn’t wait to prepare it for her mother. She slowly walked up to her bedroom. Her music was the only sound she could hear. She wondered how Caleigh was doing. She turned the volume up a little higher then walked toward her closet. The smell had intensified in just hours. She didn’t know how Caleigh could stand being in there. It made her chuckle out loud as she opened the closet door.
Caleigh turned her head and began whimpering loudly. Hillary could hear her clearly from where she stood but she doubted that anyone else would be able to hear her over the music.
“How’re ya doin’, Lee Lee?”
Caleigh’s cries grew more frantic. Hillary wasn’t quite sure what she was begging for. To have the duct tape removed from over her mouth? To live? To die?
“Mom’s home...she thinks you and Dad ran off together. She’s so mad at you for stealing her husband...she hates you, Caleigh....”
Caleigh’s brows furrowed as she began shaking her head back and forth.
“No? What, you don’t believe me? It’s true. She’s going to throw all your stuff away, she’ll probably burn it.”
Caleigh was trying to yell something. Hillary was tempted to pull the tape off but didn’t want to take any chances. If she screamed at the top of her lungs, even the music wouldn’t insulate the sound. Her mother would be in her room in record time.
“Caleigh, Caleigh,” Hillary said tauntingly, “Are you afraid to die?”
Tears flooded Caleigh’s eyes as she nodded anxiously. Her loud cries became subdued, replaced by a steady moaning.
“You should be afraid, Caleigh...it’s going to hurt...a lot. I think even the parts of your body that can’t feel anything will feel the pain I’m going to cause you. You’re going to suffer worse than I suffered.”
Caleigh’s widened eyes were terror-struck. She shook her head, begging Hillary not to hurt her.
“No one helped me...and no one’s going to help you either.”
It sounded like Caleigh was desperately trying to say something to Hillary, but her muffled words were unintelligible, just a series of loud grunts and groans.
“You might want to live now, but by the time I’m done, you’re going to see that it’s better that you die. Life sucks, Caleigh. I’m only trying to help you. If you live, someone will hurt you. Even people who are supposed to love you and take care of you end up hurting you. It’s better this way, really.”
All the crying had left Caleigh congested. She blew her nose to clear her passages. Blood and mucous ran down to her chin.
“Eeewwww, that was pretty gross, Lee Lee...all that blood and snot dripping down your face. Imagine if Andy were here to see you...what would he think?”
Caleigh blew her nose again. At the moment, she wasn’t concerned with what her crush, Andy, would think.
“Oh, that’s just nasty, all that blood. I know…I’ll take a picture!”
Hillary excitedly walked to her computer desk, opened the drawer on the bottom left and pulled out a small digital camera. She turned it on and walked back to the closet.
“Say cheese,” she said mockingly.
As Caleigh whimpered, Hillary took several pictures of her anguished sister. She slipped her hand through the strap on the camera and allowed it to dangle down her arm as she leaned forward and searched one of the bags for her father’s head. She pulled it out, wincing. It was oddly bloated and ghastly. The smell was still putrid and rank but had subtle hints of a more pungent, floral aroma. It was quite a sickening contrast.
Hillary placed her father’s repugnant head over Caleigh’s chest, repositioning her sister’s arm to keep it in place. Caleigh thrashed her head about madly as her muffled protests increased. Hillary thought she would break her neck if she didn’t calm down. Still, she couldn’t help but laugh at Caleigh’s reaction.
Hillary pulled her camera free from her wrist and snapped a few shots of her terrified sister cradling her father’s gruesome head. Hillary laughed aloud, enjoying every second of tormenting Caleigh. She moved the head higher, closer to Caleigh’s face. She was just about to take the
picture when Caleigh’s frenzied movement sent the head rolling down to the floor. It struck the floor with a dull thud.
“Look what you did!” Hillary shouted at Caleigh, only realizing afterward how loud she was and making an effort to lower her voice. “You ruined my picture,” she said angrily, in a hushed voice.
Hillary tempestuously grabbed the hideous orb that once sat upon her father’s neck and shoved it violently to her sister’s face.
“Wanna give Daddy a kiss?” she whispered callously, pressing the head against Caleigh’s.
Caleigh wailed in protest, turning her face away and shutting her eyes so that she wouldn’t have to see the dead, bloodied flesh covering her father’s decapitated head. It was bad enough she had to smell it. It was the worst thing she had ever smelled in her life.
Before Caleigh knew what was happening—what had happened—her mouth was full and filling further with puke. She made a loud gurgling sound as the thick spew became caught in her throat, choking her.
I’m going to die, she thought frantically, fearing her imminent death.
Death would have released her from her prolonged misery had Hillary not noticed her erratic head movement and realized her dire situation. She reached over and quickly tore off the tape, turning her sister’s head so that the puke would empty from her mouth. Like an avalanche, the thick and sour-smelling vomit poured out of Caleigh’s mouth, spilling over Hillary’s hand in the process. Cursing, Hillary withdrew her hand, shaking the excess puke off. Had her sister not seemed so close to death, she would have lashed out in fury.
When her mouth had sufficiently emptied to clear her passages, Caleigh coughed and gagged violently, gasping for air. She was making so much noise that Hillary considered putting another piece of tape over her mouth. Instead, she slammed the closet door quickly and turned the music up. She knew she was taking a big risk, not just by leaving Caleigh’s mouth un-taped, but by having the music so loud. Her mother had often complained about Caleigh’s loud music playing, and used to reprimand Hillary herself way back, what seemed like ages ago, when she had an interest in listening to her music. She hoped Caleigh would get over her coughing fit soon.
Hillary walked to her bedroom door and placed an ear to it, listening for signs of her mother. It seemed quiet on the other side of the door. She was torn between staying there to listen for her mother and running back to see how Caleigh was doing. She couldn’t hear her sister over the music which was both a good thing and a bad thing.
Hillary opted to stay put beside her bedroom door for a while longer until she heard the screaming. She jumped, startled by the ear-piercing sound. Clearly, Caleigh had stopped choking.
With her heart racing, Hillary quickly grabbed the duct tape on her way to the closet. She tore off a long piece, threw open the door and desperately fought Caleigh’s spastic head movements to get the tape over her mouth. Even muffled, Caleigh’s cries were noisy. Hillary quickly shut the door again hoping that her mother didn’t hear anything. She would make Caleigh pay for causing her such stress.
With the overload of adrenaline within her system, Hillary could not bring herself to calm down. She felt nervous and antsy as she paced her room. Even though she could barely hear Caleigh’s blaring over the loud music, she could hear her clearly within the short pause between songs. How long was she going to continue wailing?
Furious, Hillary marched over to the closet and opened the door little more than a crack.
“Shut the hell up, Caleigh, or I’m going to kill you, I mean it...are you ready to die now?” she said coldly.
Caleigh’s screams subsided to a softer, quieter whimpering. Her teary eyes were wide and despairing.
“If you behave, I’ll bring you something to eat later. Okay?”
Caleigh’s whimpering continued. She stared blankly up at Hillary. She felt so helpless. She didn’t care whether she ate or not, she didn’t have an appetite at all. Yet, recalling her near-death experience just moments ago, she knew that as hopeless as things were, she didn’t want to die. Maybe if she just cooperated...maybe if she did whatever her sister wanted, Hillary would take pity on her. Maybe Hillary would realize how cruel she was being. Maybe she’d feel guilty and....
“Is that a yes?” Hillary asked banefully, her eyes so full of contempt that Caleigh shut her own eyes as she slowly nodded her head. She stopped whimpering, didn’t make another sound. She knew that there were no “maybes,” just one certainty: Hillary was a monster…a soulless, uncaring, unfeeling, scary monster. No matter what Caleigh tried to do to please her, her fate was sealed. She felt crippled with fear as she slipped further into hopelessness.
“Good,” Hillary said, clearly pleased by her sister’s submissiveness. She had a smirk on her face as she slammed the closet door.
She reluctantly lowered the music, hoping that Caleigh would keep her word and behave. Over the sound of what used to be one of her favorite songs, she could hear her mother and brother in the hall just outside her door. Her brother was crying and having a fit, complaining that he didn’t want to take a bath. Her mother was shouting that he was going to take a bath, end of story.
There was an edge to her mother’s voice, an unusual harsh tone that Hillary seldom heard. She knew her mother was greatly frustrated and worried. She also knew that her mother suspected that she had done something to her father and sister. It was just a matter of time before she searched her room, or worse, called the police.
You’ll have to get rid of her too....
Hillary heard the voice. She knew what it meant. Yet, she could not bring herself to acknowledge what had to be done. She ignored the voice.
Things will be better, she told herself, when it’s just Mom and me.
Remembering her promise to Caleigh, she walked over to her computer desk and grabbed a few sheets of paper from the tray under the printer. She crept slowly to the closet and opened the door.
Caleigh opened her puffy, red-rimmed eyes slowly and looked despondently at her sister. She didn’t make a sound. What good would it do?
Without saying a word, Hillary stooped down and began shoveling Caleigh’s vomit onto the paper, using her hand. She folded the paper into a make-shift envelope. Still, the liquid portion of Caleigh’s puke dripped from the side. Its foul, sour smell mingled with and added to the already rank odors clinging to the air. She carefully balanced the papers over her other hand as she stood up, kicked the closet door shut with her foot and walked slowly out of her room. She was careful to close her bedroom door behind her.
From the hall she could hear the water running in the bathroom. Her little brother had lost his battle. His bath provided a perfect distraction. Hillary slowly walked downstairs to the kitchen. She had tried her best not to drip Caleigh’s vomit, but some leakage was inevitable. Hillary made a note to clean up the nasty spills after she had completed her task.
She grabbed a bowl from one of the cabinets and slowly emptied the contents of her paper envelope into it. Without washing her dirty hands, she carried the bowl over to the stovetop where the pot of soup was. She lifted the ladle and emptied a small portion of the soup into the bowl. She walked over to the kitchen drawer where the utensils were stored and grabbed a spoon. She used it to stir the soup and puke mixture. She sniffed it without thinking and made a face. It spelled mostly like soup, but the stench of Caleigh’s vomit was still faintly noticeable.
Hillary smiled, pleased with her concoction and her cleverness. She’d keep her promise to Caleigh and continue tormenting her at the same time. She was so excited to feed Caleigh her dinner that she forgot about having to clean up the drips on the floor.
Hillary quietly carried the bowl back to her room. The music was still on, though much lower than she had it earlier. Caleigh was silent. Closing the bedroom door after she entered, Hillary walked directly to the closet and opened the door. As before, her sister’s eyes fluttered open. She looked despondently at Hillary. Seeing the bowl in her sister’s hand, Caleigh smiled
thinly. At least she wouldn’t be starving to death.
“Hungry, Caleigh?”
Caleigh nodded even though she had no appetite whatsoever. If she was going to eat, Hillary would have to remove the duct tape. Caleigh had spent the last several minutes contemplating whether she should try to scream and get her mother’s attention, or whether it would be best to be cooperative for now. She kept going back and forth between her options, trying to use sound reasoning to support her choice. The music was lower, after all.... Her parents’ room wasn’t too far away from Hillary’s.... She had a big mouth, she could yell really, really loudly.... What more could Hillary possibly do to her? She was already miserable and suffering. If Hillary killed her, it would only end her misery. She didn’t want to die she was praying to be rescued. But she knew that if she did nothing at all, she was just prolonging her inevitable death. At least now she had a chance....
“Okay, Caleigh...I trust you...I’m going to take the tape off now, okay? You won’t scream, will you?”
Caleigh shook her head to assure Hillary that she would cooperate.
“Good, because I brought some delicious soup for you.”
Hillary quickly tore the tape off Caleigh’s mouth, purposefully trying to inflict as much pain as possible. Caleigh groaned softly, not daring to shout out just yet.
“Hey, it’s like getting your upper lip waxed,” Hillary exclaimed. “Remember when we used to talk about being actresses? Remember? After we saw ‘The Sound of Music’ we used to sing all of the songs together.”
Caleigh’s thin smile returned as remembered. Was her sister coming back to her?
“The hills are alive...with the sound of music...” Hillary sang, smiling at her sister with a twinkle in her eyes.
Maybe, just maybe, Caleigh dared to hope.
Caleigh’s eyes grew misty. Hillary almost felt a bit of pity for her forlorn sister. Almost.
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