“Joshy, hurry up and eat, we have to leave soon and I still have to give you a bath.”
Joshua had never been a neat eater. He was one of those toddlers who loved finger-painting with sauce and syrup...anything fluid enough to run his fingers through. Today he had cheese all over the front of his shirt and had managed to somehow get some of it on the side of his neck and left ear. Kathy shook her head in dismay as she assessed his mess.
“You don’t have to take him along,” Hillary offered, “I can babysit.”
Kathy’s heart skipped a beat. She didn’t trust Hillary. Once again her instincts warned her that it was a bad idea...a very bad idea. But she loved Hillary and was just as leery of her instincts as she was about Hillary. Maybe she was just letting her imagination get the best of her. Hillary looked up at her with the most angelic eyes as she waited for a reply. How could she insult her? How could she hurt her feelings when she was trying so hard to prove herself?
“We can play hide and seek and—”
Joshua’s eyes widened and he turned to face Hillary.
“Hide and seek!” he repeated, “hide and seek!”
“...and he can be my assistant when I start preparing your special dinner.”
Hillary could read the ambivalence all over Kathy’s face. She looked longingly into her mother’s eyes.
Kathy wanted to trust her instincts. She knew deep down that she should play it safe and take Joshua with her. Yet, what message would she be conveying to Hillary then? She knew that she had made mistakes, terrible mistakes that she could never hope to rectify. Even if the worst-case scenario she had envisioned were actually true, she would have no one to blame but herself. Well, and Michael too. But if her worse-case scenario were true, Michael would be paying for his mistakes in hell. She would have to learn to forgive Hillary...to accept whatever she had done and to move on. Perhaps this was the leap of faith she needed to start finding closure.
“Sure,” Kathy said, a bit hesitantly, “I’d appreciate that.”
Hillary smiled, a great big grin stretched across her face to match her shining eyes.
“Hide and seek!” she said to Joshua as she ruffled his hair.
“Hide and seek,” Joshua repeated eagerly, as he pushed against the table move his seat back.
“No,” Kathy stopped him, “you’ll play later. You still have to finish your chicken.”
Joshua started whining. He picked up his chicken drumstick and lifted it back as if he were about to throw it. Kathy yelled out as Hillary held his hand gently.
“Joshy,” she said sweetly, “don’t throw that or Mom will say we can’t play hide and seek. You wanna play, don’t you?”
Joshua dropped the chicken to his plate, but continued whining.
“I have an idea,” she said angelically, “how ‘bout you finish that little piece of chicken and five more bites of macaroni...then we’ll be able to play together.”
“I wanna play now,” he complained, pouting.
“You want Storm to come home?”
Joshua nodded eagerly.
“Then eat your food for Storm. Mom will go and get her if you finish eating quickly.”
It looked as though Joshua was contemplating his options. After a brief pause, he picked up his chicken leg and began nibbling.
Kathy smiled and gave Hillary a thumbs-up. She had handled the situation perfectly, to Kathy’s satisfaction. The three of them finished their meal without any further stress or excitement. The mood was once again light and amicable. Kathy grabbed the package of baby wipes and began cleaning the mess off Joshua’s face and neck.
“I’ll change his clothes,” Kathy informed Hillary as she lifted Joshua, “can you clear the table and load the dishwasher?”
“No problem,” Hillary agreed as she stood and began stacking the plates and piling the silverware.
Ten minutes later, Kathy and Joshua were back downstairs. It was already after one thirty. Kathy had wanted to leave by then but Joshua had thrown a full-blown temper tantrum upstairs over an outfit she had selected for him to wear. In the end, she just gave in to his demands and allowed him to wear the faded red fire engine shirt.
It always bothered Kathy that she had so little control that even a toddler could manipulate her. Michael had never helped the situation. If anything, he encouraged Joshua’s fits and would yell at her whenever she didn’t cater to his little commander-in-training. She might have stood her ground now if she had more time. Yet, she was running late and didn’t want Storm to end up at the pound.
“Okay, Hillary,” she said with a slight sigh, “I’m ready to go.”
“Okay, Mom. Be careful driving.”
“Oh, let me make sure I have the checkbook,” she said, doubling back to the table in the foyer. She searched within the main compartment of her purse then nodded. She wondered just how much it was going to cost her. She hoped it wouldn’t be too steep...she and Michael didn’t have much in their savings account and she knew she would have to dip into those funds to support the household.
With a deep sigh, Kathy zipped her purse and grabbed her car keys.
“Come give Mama a kiss,” Kathy called out to Joshua, who ran to her with open arms. She lifted him, spun him around, hugged him and kissed him on his neck as he giggled and squirmed in her arms.
“Be good for Hillary,” she said as she leaned over and placed him at her side.
“He’ll be just fine,” Hillary said with a twinkle in her eyes, “right, Joshy?”
Joshua nodded happily, “play hide and seek with Hillry,” he declared.
“Thanks again, Hillary,” Kathy said, giving her daughter a quick hug and peck on her cheek. “I should be back in a couple of hours. Call my cell phone if you need anything.”
Kathy opened the front door, stepped out and snuck an unsettling backward glance toward her children before quietly closing the door.
Hillary followed Joshua to the side window where he always waved to his mother when she left without him.
“Say goodbye to Mommy,” Hillary whispered in his ear.
You’ll never see her again....
~15~
“After I’m done chopping these veggies we can play, okay?” Hillary asked Joshua moments after their mother had driven off.
“Ooo-kaaayyy,” Joshua agreed reluctantly.
Hillary lifted him up and set him down on the counter top next to her.
“Look at the big knife, Joshy,” she said, holding the knife in front of his face for him to see. “Do you want to play with it?”
Joshua shook his head nervously as he shied away from the knife. His mother had warned him many times never to touch knives.
“Dain-drus,” he said.
“Okay,” Hillary said, “I’ll chop and you put the veggies in the pot, okay?”
Hillary placed a large pot, halfway full of water, beside Joshua. He smiled, excited to be a “big boy helper.” Hillary began chopping carrots and potatoes. Once Joshua overcame his fear of the loud whacking sound the knife made each time Hillary chopped, he scooped them into the pot with his chubby little hands.
“Are you having fun, Joshy?”
Joshua nodded. He had a shy little grin on his face.
“We’re gonna have even more fun in just a few minutes,” Hillary promised.
She finished chopping the carrots and potatoes, quickly minced an onion then added three cubes of chicken broth. When everything was in the pot, she carried it over to the stove and turned on the burner.
“Okay, Joshy,” she said, wiping her hands on a kitchen rag, “let’s have some fun!”
Carrying the knife in her left hand, she led Joshua to the basement with her right hand in his.
“I have a big surprise for you,” Hillary said excitedly.
“Surprise for Joshy?”
“Yep!” Hillary exclaimed, pausing at the door to the basement. She leaned over to look Josh directly in his eyes.
“You wanna see Lee Lee?”
> “Lee Lee!” Joshua giggled in anticipation. His little heart danced with joy. It was his lucky day, like his birthday. He was going to see Storm again and Lee Lee. After a few seconds, Joshua crinkled his little forehead.
“Daddy too?”
Hillary’s smile faded fast. Her face became serious, angry.
“Not Daddy,” she said, “Daddy is dead.”
Joshua looked confused. He didn’t know much about death and had just a vague idea that it was a bad thing.
“It means that he’s gone, for good. He’s never, ever coming back.”
Joshua’s lower lip began to quiver and his eyes misted. In an instant he was wailing loudly, calling out for his father.
“Shhh,” Hillary said, crouching down to his level, “don’t worry, you’re going to see Daddy again real soon.”
In hell.
Joshua quieted down but remained leery. He was confused.
“Okay, c’mon, let’s go see Lee Lee.”
Joshua wiped his eyes and a narrow smile formed on his face. He nodded as Hillary stood up and clasped her hand over his. She opened the basement door and the two of them slowly descended the stairs.
“Where’s Lee Lee?” he asked when they reached the last step.
Caleigh began making noise. Her cries were muffled but loud enough to be heard. Her desperate sounds startled Joshua. His eyes opened wide.
“What’s that Hillry?” he asked nervously.
“Oh, that’s just Lee Lee,” Hillary said, leading Joshua toward their sister.
Joshua inched forward slowly, lagging behind Hillary. He was never fond of the basement. He always thought the noises were scary.
“C’mon, Joshy, Lee Lee can’t wait to see you!”
“Where’s Lee Lee?” he asked softly.
“Right down there,” Hillary pointed with the knife in her left hand.
Innocent little Joshua was none the wiser. He didn’t question why Hillary was carrying a knife. Caleigh’s cries grew louder as they advanced toward her.
“Where?” Joshua asked impatiently. He couldn’t see behind the pile until Hillary positioned him to the side. He spotted Caleigh’s feet and familiar sneakers.
“Hide and seek!” he said happily, clapping his hands. “Found you, Lee Lee!”
Hillary moved some of the containers and boxes blocking Joshua’s sight. His face grew visibly worried as he saw the blood all over Caleigh’s body. Then he saw her face. He frowned at first then screamed. He turned to run away but Hillary grabbed him by his arm, yanking him back.
“Come say hello to Lee Lee,” Hillary said.
“Not Lee Lee!” Joshua cried, trying to wrench free from Caleigh’s grasp.
“Yes, look.”
Hillary ripped the tape off Caleigh’s face. Only the useless duct tape remained and dangled at the side of her mouth.
“Joshy!” Caleigh cried out, “Where’s Mom? Where’s Mommy, Joshy?”
Hillary laughed out loud.
“You think he can help you?” she cackled, “he’s about to pee his pants!”
Joshua was crying hysterically. He recognized his sister’s voice, but not her face. He didn’t want to look at her face. She looked like Halloween. She looked like a monster.
“Joshy, where’s Mommy?” Caleigh repeated desperately.
Joshua tried to peek at Caleigh but she was too scary. He screamed and turned his head away. The worst part of her was her eyes. They bulged out like the ones he had once seen in a movie with zombies that his father was watching. It had given him nightmares for nearly a full week. Joshua thought Caleigh might be a zombie now. It made him cry even louder.
Even Hillary had been taken aback by the hideous sight Caleigh had become. Her eyes, from the lack of moisture, had dried out and gathered dirt and dust particles. There was a cloudy film over her corneas and a yellowish discharge at the corners of her eyes.
Caleigh, in addition to being unable to feel her body, was now unable to see properly. But at the moment, she was more concerned about Joshua.
“Run, Joshy,” she screamed, “go get Mom!”
Joshua tried to run, he wanted to get far away from scary zombie Caleigh, but Hillary held him firmly in place.
“Watch, Caleigh,” Hillary said, “I’ll show you what happened to Dad.”
Hillary yanked Joshua closer and pulled down his shorts and underwear. The little boy trembled as he cried hysterically. He gagged on his own saliva and started coughing. Hillary ignored him.
“So Dad came into my room. He put his dirty thing in my mouth and made me suck it....”
Hillary flicked Joshua’s small penis with her index finger.
“Of course, his was a lot bigger. Do you know what I did then?”
Hillary grinned diabolically as she dropped to her knees, cupped Joshua’s rear end and shoved his crotch to her face. She opened wide, taking his little caterpillar-like member into her mouth. Smiling at her wide-eyed, horrified sister, she chomped down on his tiny genitalia, severing it completely from his body. She chewed on it like gum, smiling proudly.
Caleigh turned her head away. She could not stand to see little Joshua bleeding so badly. Joshua shrieked in agonizing pain as he grabbed the blood-gushing hole where his little “pee pee” used to be. He was crying so hard that his little body wracked with sobs, heaving uncontrollably. It hurt Caleigh’s heart more than it hurt her ears to hear his blood-curdling screams.
Hillary spit the chewed-up, flattened, misshapen remains of her brother’s penis at her sister’s face. It bounced off her cheekbone and landed on the floor in front of her.
“Just like that!” Hillary exclaimed, licking her lips, “that’s what I did to Dad.”
She had stopped the cycle. Her brother would never have the chance to defile an innocent child the way their father had. He no longer possessed the instrument to inflict such cruelty.
“But that’s not all I did...” she added impishly.
Joshua dropped to the ground and curled up in a fetal position. His shrill cries died down to low-tone moans and quiet whimpering.
Hillary dropped the knife. Her brother looked so small and pale. He had smeared his blood all over his face from wiping away his tears. Now he had bloody prints all over his shirt as well. Blood was everywhere on the floor where he lay still. Hillary kneeled down and lifted his little body up. His head lolled over her arm. A weak mewling sound escaped his quivering lips.
Hillary stood up and cradled her brother’s little body in her arms.
“Lullaby and goodnight,” she sang softly, gently rocking his body, “go to sleep little baby, when you wake, you will find, Dad will be right by your side....”
She hummed to Joshua as she rocked him until his eyes slowly closed and his whimpering stopped completely. She knew the second he had died in her arms. She stared down at her little brother, the brother she once loved so much. He was a chubby, bleeding cherub. She fought waves of sadness and suppressed her urge to cry. She swallowed hard as she gently placed his body on the floor beside Caleigh.
Caleigh was frantic. She had cried so much that she was having trouble catching her breath. She inhaled several times before sighing heavily. She could tell by the silence that Joshua was dead. She turned her head to face her sister.
“You...you killed him,” she cried sadly, “you killed Joshua.”
“It’s not my fault...it’s your fault, and Dad’s fault and Mom’s fault....”
“He was just a baby.”
“He would have grown into a monster,” Hillary said, her sympathy dissipating fast.
“You’re the monster!” Caleigh shouted.
“Yep,” Hillary acknowledged proudly, “I’m the monster now.”
She picked up the knife and stabbed it into Joshua’s tender body while Caleigh cried out. Caleigh knew that he was already dead, that he could not feel it. Notwithstanding, she couldn’t watch Hillary desecrate his body. She turned her head again and sobbed.
“Don’t miss the s
how, Lee Lee,” Hillary said, “let me show you what else I did to Dad.”
Clutching the knife firmly in her hand, Hillary began cutting off Joshua’s body parts, starting with his little hand. It was considerably easier for Hillary to saw through Joshua’s softer bones and cut through his tender, youthful flesh. She picked at the meat on his upper arms and legs as if deboning a chicken. She had a great pile started. She would need it.
Caleigh refused to look over, but she could clearly hear the sound of snapping bones, tearing flesh and the squelching sound of joints being wrenched apart. Even with her head turned, the sound effects provided unwelcome mental imagery to plague her mind. She was the unwilling spectator of a gruesome horror show.
Hillary was covered in blood from her fingertips up to her elbows. The knees of her jeans were forever stained. She had specks of blood on her own face and all over the front of her shirt. Her clothes were ruined. It was the least of her troubles.
The most difficult part of dismembering Joshua’s body was decapitating his head, though it was a simple task compared to what she had to do to get her father’s head off. She plunged the knife between his upper cervical vertebrae, effectively dislodging his head from his spinal cord. It felt like a large coconut in her hands. Her brother’s curly blonde locks of hair were matted down with deep red blood. She lifted the head by the long tufts of hair and dangled it in front of Caleigh’s face.
“Give Joshua a kiss,” she taunted.
Caleigh could feel something touching her cheek. She lowered her head as close to the floor as it would go. Hillary lowered Joshua’s head, making sure that Caleigh could feel it.
“Take a look,” Hillary demanded.
Caleigh remained still and silent. She didn’t dare look at what Hillary was trying to show her.
“If you don’t, I’m going to hurt you,” she warned.
Caleigh knew it was no bluff. Hillary would hurt her. She didn’t want to feel any more pain, but she just couldn’t bring herself to look at her brother’s dead body parts.
Hillary grabbed the knife off the floor and placed the blade along the back of Caleigh’s ear.
“I’ll slice it right off,” she said menacingly, “you know how much that’s gonna hurt?”
Hillary_Flesh and Blood Page 22