by Merita King
And so it became a habit that Tearan would relate his dreams to Doctor Hunter, who would record things word for word, nodding from time to time, asking a question or two here and there. He chose not to pass on his ‘non Tearan’ dreams; he did not want anything to delay his forward momentum through the process. Although life was easy aboard the Novosentia, he was bored and longed to get out and on with his life. Coming clean about the other dreams would undoubtedly slow down his exit back into the real world and he wanted to avoid that if possible. He was happy the morning Doctor Hunter regarded him gravely, at the end of the daily routine testing session.
“How long have you been dreaming, Tearan?” Hunter asked. Tearan frowned and Hunter widened his gaze expectantly. “I mean, truthfully how long?”
The silence hung between them for long moments as Tearan struggled to find an answer. “I told you when they started,” he said, attempting to continue his deceit.
Hunter was not easily fooled. “Tearan. I can only help you if you’re honest with me. I know you were having dream sleep three weeks before you announced it to me. Your brain readouts told me that. I admit, you might not remember them for a few days, but three weeks? I’m sorry to say this so bluntly, but I know you’re lying to me and that worries me.”
Tearan blushed. “I’m sorry, Doctor. I wanted to get my head around it first.”
“You’ve been dreaming from another personality’s point of view haven’t you?”
Tearan’s eyes widened with astonishment. “How the fuck do you know that?”
“You’ve mentioned a woman by the name of Elestra a couple of times, and I know she does not belong with Tearan’s personality. I put two and two together.”
“Shit,” Tearan cursed his stupid mistake. He had become so used to dreaming of himself as Tearan, that the woman’s distant but constant presence within them had become normal. His mention of her name did not register as out of place in his consciousness. The ever vigilant doctor had noticed it though and now Tearan had to own up and explain.
“Don’t worry and don’t hold out on me. I’m not here to catch you out or halt your progress. I want this project to succeed you know and you’re key to that. We’re on the same side here, please remember that.”
“Okay. I’m sorry. When I’m awake, nothing happens out of the ordinary. I’m Tearan Lindo without question. It’s only at night when I’m dreaming. Sometimes I dream all the dreams I’ve told you about, exactly the way I’ve told you. I haven’t lied to you about them. I just haven’t told you about the other dreams, the dreams when I’m not Tearan.”
“Tell me about them now, please.”
For the next hour, Tearan unburdened himself about the troubling dreams, the anger, the violence, the woman whose body falls apart whenever he dreams of her. He told him about the strong feeling of love between them, how it’s always tempered with anger, paranoia and a need to hurt her for something.
“That is most interesting. It is as if sometimes, something blocks Tearan Lindo when you’re asleep and comes through into your dream consciousness. Tearan is dominant though, of that I have no doubt. The fact that these unsettling images never appear while you’re awake proves that. You have no waking memories that don’t feel they belong to Tearan?”
Tearan shook his head. “None.”
“Good. Somehow, the personality of Tearan Lindo is not quite strong enough yet to fully take over your subconscious mind. This might rectify itself over time of course, but for now, it seems he is still fighting for dominance while you’re sleeping. One thing that is strange though, even to me, is how the woman appears on both sets of dreams. Tearan Lindo never knew her, yet she infiltrates your dreams even when you are dreaming as him.”
“Why should that happen?” Tearan asked.
“Well it shouldn’t. It never has before. This is a first for me. My experience tells me not to worry just yet. Tearan Lindo is clearly the dominant personality, even if that dominance is not yet total. He’s taken over control enough for us to be able to let things continue without interference for now. The mind, the personality, is still mostly unknown to us but is amazingly strong and adaptable when it needs to be. I can if you wish, terminate the experiment and delete Tearan Lindo from your mind altogether. It is up to you.”
Tearan gaped in horror at this suggestion and it showed in his wide eyed, open mouthed gape as he stared at Hunter. “What? No way. It would be like killing me all over again. I’m Tearan Lindo and intend to remain so. Don’t you dare.”
“It’s wonderful to hear you defend yourself so vehemently. It shows without a doubt how far the new personality has embedded itself within your mind. It is further proof that our best course of action is to wait and see. At the moment, Tearan Lindo is taking control as we expect him to. Over time, your ‘non Tearan’ dreams should lessen and we hope, disappear altogether. If you’re happy to keep going as we are, then so am I.”
Tearan agreed. “Even if nothing changes and I have to live with a few disturbing dreams now and then, it’s an easy price to pay.”
“Right. I want you to be completely honest with me from now on then. You must report all of your dreams, as fully as you can. I want to know if anything happens while you’re awake that might indicate Tearan Lindo is losing his position of power. Any stray thoughts that don’t belong, anything at all, no matter how trivial it seems, you tell me. Deal?”
“Deal. And you promise me you won’t take me while I’m sleeping and wipe Tearan from my mind without my consent. I don’t want you starting me over without asking me first.”
“You have my word. This will be valuable research to add to the project’s files. I won’t want to lose this chance all the time that you’re not suffering. This will teach us so much that will make the process easier for future volunteers.” Hunter reached out a hand, which Tearan shook.
“Thanks, Doctor. Now I think I’ll go and workout for a couple of hours.”
The intercom crackled and Tearan reached for the button. “Lindo.”
“Hey, Tearan, Doc Hunter wants to talk to you in his office after your shift.”
“Okay thanks.” Tearan had been working as a security guard aboard the Novosentia for four months, having been hired to work with the existing security team so he could contribute positively and to allay the boredom he had complained relentlessly about. Doctor Hunter suggested that it would be a way for him to live as normal a life as possible, whilst remaining available for testing and regular assessments. Most of his colleagues were polite but wary and he never quite felt he was in with the crowd when amongst them. This bothered him and he complained about it a couple of times to Doctor Hunter. Three of the other security guards became firm friends and they spent much of their off time together. Tearan gained a considerable amount of comfort from these friendships, which tempered his disappointment at the coldness of the others. The work was easy enough, even a little boring. The other volunteers seldom caused a problem that needed the security team’s intervention. Consequently, when they did, it was big news.
Having several personalities uploaded at the same time often caused struggles as Tearan was well aware from his own experiences. One by one, the personalities battled it out, the weaker ones failing as those more dominant took control. The demise of those weaker personalities was sometimes a traumatic and violent experience, which necessitated Tearan and his team to remove them back to the lab for medical attention. He wondered how he had faired during his own time and asked Doctor Hunter about it one day.
“You had to be brought in each time one of the others lost out to Tearan Lindo. Your other personalities were strong; they fought valiantly. Be proud of them, Tearan, they wanted to be part of you so much they fought with everything they had to remain within you. This gives you a unique perspective when dealing with the other volunteers who are still where you once were. Your colleagues in security do not have that same perspective. They can learn from you, if you decide you wish to teach them.”
There was only one occasion when Tearan clashed with his colleagues. One of the volunteers was having a crisis as one of his personalities was failing under the dominance of another and they were removing him back to the lab. The guard made a joke that was in bad taste and Tearan took offence. Once their shift was over, he waited for him in a little used corridor and beat him black and blue for his disrespect. Being a volunteer himself, his colleagues felt no compulsion to be protective and ratted him out to the supervisor, who called him in to explain himself. Doctor Hunter, Doctor Danvers, and Doctor Melissa Frost were also present.
After accepting a dressing down from his supervisor without retaliation, Tearan accepted the offer of time to explain his actions. “Officer Gannet was disrespectful to the patient’s predicament, Sir. I’ve been in that situation myself and I know how much of a struggle this process is when you’re new to it. The guy was in extreme distress as one of his personalities died within his mind and was convulsing as we conveyed him to medical. Officer Gannet remarked that he thought the patient was mad and should be locked up like a dog. I took offence to that remark, Sir and decided to teach him a lesson in a way someone like him would understand. It was wrong of me but I will not apologise for standing up for someone who can’t do it for himself. It makes me wonder how I was treated when I was going through it.”
After a break for the doctors and his supervisor to debate the matter, Tearan and Gannet were called in together to hear their fate. Gannet was given a written warning and told to apologise to Tearan for his remark. Tearan was given a verbal warning for his violent outburst and told to restrain himself in future. He assured everyone he would do so and apologised to the doctors later, away from the security team. Fully expecting them to have lost faith in him, he was surprised to find it seemed to bond them to him closer than ever. He had asked Hunter about it a day or so later, but he had skirted giving a precise answer and Tearan had not wished to press the matter. He put it down to the doctor’s weird scientific brain and thought no more about it.
Doctor Hunter’s familiar voice bade him enter when he knocked on his door after his shift. He entered to find Danvers and Melisa Frost there too.
“Hello, Tearan,” Hunter said. “Come on in, sit.”
“What’s with the committee, have I done something wrong?”
Melissa looked him right in the eyes as she always did and allowed her genuine affection to crinkle the corners of her eyes. “No of course not. We are here to talk to you about your progress, that’s all.”
Her habit of holding his gaze never failed to make him trust her word and it always put him at ease. “Okay, no problem.”
For over an hour, the four discussed Tearan and his experience in detail. His dreams, which still had not been totally dominated by the personality of Tearan Lindo, were the subject of much debate and he found himself describing the imagery over and over again. Yes, it was violent. Yes, it was unsettling. Yes, he felt connected to it whilst in the dream. No, he did not feel that connection once awake. No, he never felt anything other than totally Tearan Lindo. These and hundreds of other questions were fired at him and he answered them all truthfully. Five months had passed, during which he came to a peaceful acceptance of these troubling dreams. It was not as if they occurred every night; most of the time his dreams were those of Tearan Lindo. For the past month or so, the bad dreams had settled into a twice-weekly cycle that he felt relatively comfortable with. This last point was important, for he felt sure that these bad dreams were never going to go away and the three doctors worried about it constantly. He wanted them to be as sure as he was that he could cope with them and he stressed to them how talking them out helped him to cope.
“I’m happy to continue working here if you want to observe me for longer. Maybe you could give me a little more freedom bit by bit as time goes by and I’ll admit that I’d find it reassuring to remain nearby for a while longer.”
“I’m delighted to hear you suggest that,” Danvers said. “We have something similar in mind and wanted to suggest it to you.”
Melissa frost leaned forward slightly. “A group of doctors and technicians is going down to Earth for a week. It’s partly for them to use some of their free time to catch up with family and relax and partly to attend a meeting about funding for the project. How would you like to tag along with them and get some fresh air? You can see the sights and do the tourist thing.”
Tearan did not hesitate. “Wow, I’d love to.”
“Good,” Hunter said. “I was confident you would accept. There will be one or two constraints upon you I’m afraid. You are still under our care officially and we haven’t yet signed you off as it were.”
“That’s okay I guess.”
“You will be chaperoned at all times by one of the guys,” Doctor Danvers said. “They are all trained in how to take care of you if something goes wrong suddenly, in which case they will sedate you and arrange for you to be returned here to our care. We will also install a locator chip under the skin on your wrist, in case you decide to take off on your own and give us all a headache worrying about you. You have to be okay with all of this by the way. This is non-negotiable.”
“That’s fine,” Tearan said. “I understand. I’ll be a good boy.”
“Another thing you should be aware of,” Hunter said. “We don’t get to meet too many Arlenikans down there on Earth, so you will be a draw whenever you’re out in public. You’re going to get stared at, so be cool okay?”
“Thanks for the warning. I’ll be polite, I promise.”
Melissa Frost handed over a digital pad. “You’re going to need an injection before you go. You need to sign your consent.”
“An injection? What for?”
“Arlenikans have no immunity against a virus Earth people carry. It’s a result of biological warfare from a few hundred years ago before we achieved inter-galactic travel. We’re all immune but visitors aren’t so for your own protection, it’s a necessity. You can’t go down there without it.”
“I haven’t caught it from any of you.”
“We’ve all had gene treatment to eradicate it from our DNA. With all the different races we meet on the project, it made sense despite the huge cost. We can’t pass it on to anyone now.”
He gave a resigned shrug. Despite hating injections, he did not want to miss this chance so he agreed. After signing and handing Melissa back the pad, she got up and came around the table. Less than a minute later, Tearan was rubbing his arm and looking forward to getting away from the Novosentia for a few days.
Doctor Hunter smiled. “Enjoy the holiday, Tearan, you’ve earned it.”
“Thanks.”
“The shuttle leaves at nine in the morning,” Doctor Danvers said. “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you don’t miss it.”
Tearan found it cold on this planet called Earth, but he did not mind. That cold air was fresh rather than the over processed stuff he breathed on board the Novosentia and he breathed it in greedily. Being part of the Dreamspinner Project meant the group avoided all but the most basic of red tape. They were soon speeding away from the spaceport en-route to an ultra-secure military base where the meeting would take place. The soldiers were well trained, Tearan noticed and did not stare at him for more than a second before regaining their control. The civilians employed at the base did not possess such discipline and stared openly at this white haired stranger with death pale skin and eyes so blue they took your breath away. They stared as he passed, bent their heads to exchange astonished whispers with their colleagues and clutched hands to throats in automatic gestures of defence. Tearan realised they were scared and frowned at why this should be so. Making sure to smile and nod as he passed them by, he tried to appear friendly and non-threatening but this seemed to bemuse them even more. Once settled within the team’s accommodations, Tearan exclaimed in surprise.
“Hunter was right when he said I’d be stared at. Did you see them? They didn’t even try to hide it.”
�
�They don’t get Arlenikans here that often,” an enormous man nicknamed Brick replied. “Once they’ve seen you a couple of times, they’ll quit staring. You won’t be so new by this time tomorrow, trust me.”
“Are we to stay the whole week here on the base?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought I’d have the opportunity to see something of the area. Y’know, get out and about a little.”
“You will, Tearan,” A quiet natured man named Andy said. “We have a couple of days until the meeting, which will last for two days and then we have another three days afterwards. We’re drawing up a list of things to do and places for you to visit. Do you have anything in mind? Any ideas?”
“Well umm, the IGEC doesn’t really give us much time for hobbies or anything. I’ve spent the last few years in almost total operation mode.”
“You like to work out don’t you? They have state of the art facilities here and everyone has open access. Brick works out every day, so why not tag along with him?”
Tearan looked over at the huge man, who was nodding in his direction. “Okay, thanks. It would be nice to see something of the area outside the base, the city or whatever is out there. After spending so long aboard the Novosentia, it would be nice to walk down a real street, watch birds in a real sky, hear the sound of the wind in treetops, smell the ocean perhaps. Any chance of that?”
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Andy said. “We’re on the west coast here so the ocean is just a few miles away. Do you have water sports on Arlenika?”
The next two days sped by in a whirlwind of new experiences for Tearan. He rose early so as not to waste a moment of this limited time and after working out with Brick, he visited the market. He ate brightly coloured fruits fresh from the vendors’ many baskets, walked barefoot on the beach and relished the feel of sand between his toes. In a single day, he learned to surf surprisingly well then listened to the night birds calling by the light of the full moon. On the third day, he boarded a passenger shuttle for a sightseeing flight of the city and the mountains that lay to the north. This was the first day of the meeting and Tearan had the company of Hank and Enrique, two security guards with whom he had always got on well.