by Ashlee Price
Finally arriving, we slowed down enough so that he could take in the new gates and stables. There weren’t any animals over there yet, but when there was, it would be everything he needed. “So what do you think? Ray worked on this for months when he found out you were coming home.”
I just wanted to plant the seed and it looked like it took. Smiling to him in the moonlight, his eyes sparkled back at me. “You ready to go somewhere else?”
He nodded and took the lead. It didn’t matter where he was going, I wanted to follow. Joel was the quiet type, but his face showed a different side of him that I wanted to explore more. But at the moment, I was having a hard time keeping up with him. It was as if he was running from the devil himself.
***
When we slowed down, I knew immediately where he was planning to go. It was my favorite place on the property, the place I tried to run to every chance I got. It only seemed fitting that he would go there as well. “You want to take a swim?”
“I don’t have a bathing suit on.”
“So, neither do I.”
I bit my lip. He was already getting off his horse and pulling his shirt off. My throat made it hard to swallow. Joel had not made it back home unscathed, but it was hard to focus on the scars, when they were covering such a rippled chest. He was gorgeous. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I got off my horse as he started to pull his jeans off. I wanted him to have nothing on underneath, but he finally revealed a pair of boxer briefs. He looked back at me staring and I looked down, trying not to give away my reaction. I was sure that he was used to women falling all over him and if I didn’t catch myself, I was going to be just as bad.
He jumped into the cool water and looked up at me when he resurfaced. “Are you getting in?”
I nodded that I was, but I still hadn’t moved to take any of my clothes off. I apparently was a little more modest than he was. I tried to tell myself that bra and panties were the same as a bathing suit, but it felt more intimate. “Turn around.”
He didn’t want to, I could see it in his face, but he did as I asked. As I looked at his bare shoulders, I quickly pulled off my shirt and shorts. The bra was white, as well as the panties and there was a thought that they would turn see through, but I was already too far to say no. I didn’t want Joel to think I was afraid or too shy, even though he made it hard to speak in his presence.
As I got in, I could feel the cold water instantly cooling me off. It felt too damn good and I closed my eyes with a soft moan of pleasure. When I reopened them, he was very close. “Feels good doesn’t it?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, this is one of my favorite places here. It’s always such cold water, no matter how hot it is.’
I fought the urge to push back the dark brown strand of hair that had fallen into his face. “Are you happy to be home Joel?”
He was, it was hard not to tell. Joel was already starting to look more relaxed then when I saw him a few hours ago. Maddie and even Ray seemed to be content that he was home. I hadn’t seen much of Amber, but I knew she was happy that he was home as well.
“Yes, I forgot how good it felt in here on a hot night. The view has gotten better as well.”
I tried not to blush, but it was hard not to. The way he looked at me when he said it made me shiver. Starting to move, I swam to the other side, and held onto the edge. My body felt like a game of tug of war. Naturally my body was drawn to the rugged man, but who he was made it impossible. He was my best friend’s brother and several years older than me. I didn’t have much experience with older men and what worked for guys my age, didn’t seem to work on him. I was left in this strange place where I just didn’t know what to do.
My face was hot and I knew that no matter how much I wished it not so, I was probably beat red. At least I could hide behind my tan a bit. We treaded water and talked. I didn’t bring up where he has been, but tried to focus on his plans for the ranch now that he was taking over. He was going to be my new boss, which sounded like a good idea in the beginning, but I was going to have to work with him every day. It was hard to when all I wanted to do was jump into his arms and kiss him.
It was about time to get out when we heard whispers. As they got louder, he grabbed me and moved towards the rock ledge, hiding behind it. I knew that it was Amber, but I didn’t recognize the man’s voice. “It’s fine. My brother is at the party.”
“He would kill me if he knew that I was out here with you.”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
I looked to Joel and I could feel him tensing up. I peeked around and recognized one of his friends from earlier at the party. He was about to come out when I stopped him with a finger to his lips. I picked up a loose rock and threw it over by them. Amber got spooked as I hoped she would and they took their playtime somewhere else.
When I looked back over at him, it was then that I remembered where I was. His body was hard against me and his arm was still holding my waist up against him. Turned towards him, our lips were so close to each other, I wished he would kiss me. My breathing had started to go a little faster and I leaned in a little, urging him to kiss me. When he didn’t, I moved the rest of the way, entwining my arms around his neck. I tried to ease the tension in his body, but I seemed to only make it worse.
Pulling me away, “We can’t Shannon. I can’t.”
He moved away, leaving me staring at his back and wondering what the hell just happened. It was the worst feeling when he started to swim away. I tried to hide my disappointment, pulling myself up and wringing out my hair. I was pissed a little and turned towards him to say something. I stopped when I looked at his face. There was darkness in his eyes that I knew must look like my own. But if he wanted me so bad, why did he just push me away? Joel was confusing, his signals all over the place.
Joel finally moved towards me with his shirt in his hand. Handing it to me, I didn’t reach for it quick enough. He then just threw it over my shoulders. “What are you doing?”
“I can see through that.”
“I have a shirt on over it.”
“I know.”
I brightened more and looked at his barely clad body. His chest was still wet with the water from the quarry and I couldn’t help following a droplet down until it escaped into the waistband of his pants. “Thanks.”
I took it off my chest and looked down. I could barely see a nipple, but his eyes were riveted back to the spot. Putting him out of his discomfort, I finally put it on and buttoned a couple buttons. It swallowed me whole and soon was just as wet as everything else from the wetness from my hair. It was trickling down my back and getting my clothes wet. “There, better?”
Our eyes met and I wished I hadn’t said anything. How could he say so much without uttering a word? His depths were endless and when they were pointed at me, it was hard not to tremble inside. “You ready to go back?”
I didn’t have a choice because he was already getting up on Thunder. I followed to not be left alone in the dark. He looked back at me once, but he didn’t slow down. I didn’t know if I was ever going to be able to understand him. But that kiss, no matter if I had to take it, was still burning my lips with the memory. There had been a few moments when he had kissed me back before he pushed away. That is what I couldn’t forget.
Getting back to the stable, I put Lightning up and didn’t look once towards the one that Joel was in. I walked towards the sounds coming from inside, confused at the mixed signals from Joel. Finding Amber, we talked for a few minutes and I ignored her brother when he came in. He was everywhere I looked it seemed and I couldn’t bare another moment with him. So instead of staying any longer, I just walked home and called it a day.
I lived with my dad in a small clapboard house on the property. There were several more like it, but I had come to think of it as home. It had been a good home and I was thankful for the Fishers. I kept wondering what would change when Joel took over. Maybe I wouldn’t even have a job too much longer.
Chapter 5: Shannon
I got up late the next morning. No one was there to wake me up and I must have forgotten to turn the alarm on. Scrambling to get dressed, I just threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with the ranch’s logo on it. It was what I wore most days so there was little to no thought put into it. My hair was thrown up in a knot on my head and I just barely had time to wipe off the mascara from my face that I had forgotten to wash off the night before.
When the first thing I seen was Joel though, I wished I had put something else on. I was still stinging from his rebuke the night before, but I was going to do my best to pretend like it never happened. It was a lapse in judgment, that is all it was. Or that is what I told myself anyways. It was more, but that is all it was going to be. He didn’t feel the same way that I did or if he did, something was holding him back.
I tried not to look him in the eyes when I passed, but he stopped me with a light grip on my arm. “We need to talk Shannon.”
“Let’s not, Joel. It was awkward enough last night. It never happened.”
His face changed like he didn’t like my answer. I was mortified to even be having the conversation. “That was not what I was talking about. I can’t pretend like that never happened, but good to know where you stand.”
I tried to say something, but it was impossible with the look that he gave me. I had already put my foot in my mouth, as well as running late and it wasn’t even noon.
“I was hoping to talk to you about training. My mother said something about Ray not letting you, but you were interested?”
The change of pace was mind blowing and I couldn’t keep up. “Oh well, you know how your dad is. He just thinks that males are the only ones that can. I can’t say that I agree with him of course, but I am happy to be here in whatever capacity that I am able to be.”
“So you don’t want to become a trainer?”
Was he serious? Of course I did. It was something that I had always wanted to do, but there was still so much to learn. “I do Joel. More than anything, but I will need some training first. I can still do my job now, but maybe you could let me work with one of the trainers too?” I was hopeful. Something I wasn’t often, but I really hoped that he would at least give me the chance.
“I was thinking more you stop doing your job that you do now and I will teach you everything I know. You will be on your own in a couple of months. I’ve seen the way you are around them, so I know it won’t take you long.”
“That would be perfect!” My face hurt from smiling too big and I hoped I didn’t look like an idiot.
“There is only one catch though.”
My heart sank. There was always a catch, a storm cloud in the sky. “Okay, what’s that?” I didn’t know what he was going to say and it seemed like he liked making me squirm, taking forever for him to answer me.
“You would have to move down to the bunkhouses on the new training grounds if you were to work with me. The more time spent around the horses we are training the better, so you would have to move a few miles away.”
My mind went to the set up and how there was only one bunkhouse over there. He must have known where my mind was going, because he was quick to add enough to dash my hopes of romance. “I know there is only one down there, but I am having another one built and there are two beds, private bathroom. It would be all business Shannon. I can promise you that.”
I sighed to myself. Of course it was only business with him. The one man that I was dying to touch me again, just wanted to keep it professional. It was the right thing to do, but it was also the last thing that I wanted to do. I wanted to push all of the propriety to the wind, toss out all of the reasons that we shouldn’t and just see what happened. But Joel was not that kind of guy, too uptight to just let things happen.
“Okay Joel. I have been dying to get a chance, so thank you.” I wanted to add that if he ever wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night with nothing on that would be okay too.
***
Joel had already hired someone to take over my job and he started the next day. It left me one last day of brushing the horses. I was going to miss them, not sure which ones would be going down to the new training grounds. I wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but I was sure that I was nervous to tell Amber. She was not going to be happy about it, I was sure of that much.
She wasn’t either. “What! What do you mean you are moving down there with my brother?”
“It’s not like that Amber, it’s just…”
“Not like what?”
I could see the vein popping out of her neck. Why was she so mad all of a sudden?
“He is going to teach me what he knows about horse training. Joel says after a couple of months, I will be on my own. Then I can move back up here. Please don’t be mad Amber. I haven’t even told dad yet and you are freaking me out.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just. Why?”
“You know I have always wanted to. Joel is going to let me. I have to. I will be back before summer is over and it’s not like we won’t see each other after work.”
She nodded, but was not satisfied with my suggestion. “You don’t know how he works. I will never see you.”
“Well you will have more time with Mack.”
Amber made a disgusted face. “We broke up. He was a jerk.”
I had only been telling her that for weeks now, but I digress. “So will you help me pack?”
“Sure, you know I will. But don’t let my brother run over the top of you. He has a tendency to do that sometimes.”
“I am sure it will be fine Amber. He seems nice enough.”
She was going to say something else, but she stopped herself. “Just take care of yourself Shannon. It is going to be weird without you here.”
Chapter 6: Joel
“I am glad you came home, son. It has been hard around here with you gone.”
I nodded my head and made a drink for the both of us. This was the time for guilt I assumed and he ran through the same rhetoric again. Sometimes I thought that he would never forgive me for leaving and sometimes I wish I hadn’t, but there was nothing that could be done about it now. “Well I am here now. I was hoping to get started tomorrow.”
“Good, good. I have a few plans I want to show you.”
I shook my head again. I didn’t want to hear them. “Let me just get the training side back up again. I saw the new land, new fields. It is going to be something over there. It is the most profit and it is what I want to do, what I am good at.”
He was dying to say something, his large eyes almost bulging like it was painful to hold it in. “Fine, I think that is a good idea.”
“I’ve also hired in a few people and I am swapping some more around, get people where they should be.”
I didn’t know why I said it, maybe to show that it was my show now. I had told him when he called that if he wanted me to come back, I was going to be the one running the ranch. Mom thought that she was getting a vacation and I wanted to make sure that she did.
“Good. Who are you moving?”
Knowing he couldn’t let it go, I told him my plans for Shannon. He instantly got animated and suspicious of my reasoning. That was the father that I knew, always looking down on my decisions. I knew that putting a girl in a training position would chap his ass, but it was more for Shannon than a slight towards my father. “Why would you do that?”
“Because she is great with horses. Thunder has never been more cooperative.”
“That is just one horse.”
“Father, why are you so against it?”
“I don’t want a woman to get hurt. They are more delicate and with some of these wild horses we get in here, I don’t want anything to happen. With a man, it is different.”
I couldn’t see how he thought that was true, but it was the first time he had given me a reason. I had honestly thought he was just being chauvinistic. “She will be fine.”
“Are you sure you don’t want her down there
with you for another reason?”
I shook it off. “She is a kid dad.”
“I may be an old man son, but even I know that is not true.”
“I’ll admit she is a pretty girl, but I am not ready for any kind of relationship.”
We talked a little bit more and it was the first time that we had had such a long conversation without arguing. It was nice, but the time urged me on my time schedule. He took it better than I had thought he would and I was starting to think that maybe it wasn’t the worst idea, coming home.
***
“Is that seriously all you brought?”
I looked down at the duffel bag and nodded. “Yeah. I am trying to figure out where you are going to put all of this. Just be thankful I didn’t bring ten pairs of shoes as well.”
“Do you even have that many?”
“No, but apparently you do. You do realize that we are going to be training these horses, right?”
She sighed and started putting up her clothes in the closet. I watched her for a time. She was still acting differently, almost cold whenever I said anything to her. I didn’t understand her mood, though I think that it had something to do with me telling her no the other night. She had to know why I did. It wasn’t because I didn’t want her, but because we couldn’t be together. I couldn’t be with anyone.
“Are you always this pleasant?”
She nodded. “Yes, this is what you have to look forward to. Haven’t you ever lived with a woman?”
“No I can’t say that I have. My last roommates were twenty four other guys.”
“Well, this will be a little different.”
“I can see that.”
“So are we working today or no?”
“No, I know that you did your work this morning. So you can just take the rest of the day to get settled. I have a few things to do and I will see you later.”
“Well can I help you with it? I hate to just be lying around all day.”
“Fine. I am just going to get the stables ready for some new arrivals in the morning. If you want to help, you are more than welcome to, but I am not a slave driver like my dad. You can have some time off if you want.”