“No! You’re not paying attention. For this number, you need to stand here Maddox. Your place marker is this x on the floor, do you see it?” Ronnie, our tour choreographer is yelling at me and I guess I can’t blame him. My thoughts have been wandering since we started this morning. Which already seems like a long time ago.
“Yeah, I see it. Got it.”
“Then get yourself over there five seconds before ‘Wound Up’ begins, not one note after.”
“Yes, sir,” I respond and when he turns his back I salute. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Sailor stifle a laugh, so I turn to her and wink, loving it when her smile widens.
“Then Sailor, when you reach the second stanza you’ll walk across the stage to your marker here, next to Maddox’s, so you can share the microphone for the chorus.”
“Sounds good,” Sailor says chirpily and I roll my eyes at her making her giggle.
“Something funny about this that I’m missing, Mr. Colt?” Ronnie asks in exasperation.
“No sir, sorry sir,” I say and everyone, except Ronnie snorts and unsuccessfully tries to cover a laugh.
“Alright. Then the two of you do whatever you want to do at this point, but dance near one another, please. The shooting fireworks occur during the next song, so I’ll need you to each be back to your positions here,” Ron shows us, “by the time this song is over and the next one begins. Then we’ll slow it down after that. Understand?”
We nod our heads. Ron’s great and I understand why we need a choreographer, we don’t want to trip over each other or look like toddlers trying to play soccer, but we aren’t a boy band, or Justin Bieber, so there aren’t coordinated dance moves going on. Typically, it’s actually cool; we just let our music guide us on how we wish to express ourselves on stage and other than knowing where to be at certain times for effects, anything goes. We haven’t had issues or negative feedback in the past on our stage presentation and I don’t foresee that happening now. Sailor doesn’t seem to have difficulty knowing how to move - not one single bit. But I get the intent and am being as cooperative as I can. I suppose it does make for a less complicated and more light-hearted, tour practice though, even at Ronnie’s expense at times.
“Alright, let’s run through the very beginning where you’ll appear on stage and start right into ‘Chaos’, okay?”
Like good little rock stars we move off the stage and go down the stairs until we are directly below the stage. There are lifts that will bring us stage-level at our scheduled time. The drums start first, then the keyboard, then the guitar. I only sing for this song with Sailor, no instrument for me. I sing the first verse alone and then she joins me for the next. It’s all done by design because the label is pushing Sailor’s addition to our band hard. They want her to come up on stage last, full on stage lighting hitting her, while she sings her initial solo. It’s the perfect introduction to Sailor and her voice.
“I have to admit I’m pretty stoked about this,” Nixon says.
“Me too,” I add with a smile.
“Yeah?” Sailor asks me with a curious look on her face.
“Yep. I can’t wait to see what everyone’s reaction is to your entrance on stage. I think it’s going to be great,” I tell her honestly and when she smiles wide at me, my pulse picks up speed and I vow to make her do that more often – she’s even more stunning.
“I’m excited,” she says jumping around a little bit on her feet and it makes her look adorable. Not that she needs help. She’s got her hair in a bun on top of her head today and she’s wearing minimal makeup. Her natural beauty is completely attention grabbing – she doesn’t need any paint or fancy clothes to make her attractive. In fact, I think I prefer her like this. “So what should I expect later?” she asks and it makes me realize I’m staring at her.
“Later?”
“Yes, during the photo shoot.”
“Oh,” I shrug, “Nothing special.”
“Oh come on, give me more than that.”
“Well, they’ll have wardrobe ready to go and generally we talk out the vision for the cover ahead of time, but since we’re doing a group photo to showcase you there wasn’t really a vision to talk out with this one. We deferred the decision to the label since they want control of these things… because….you know….”
“Because adding me was their idea and not yours?”
“Well yes,” I tell her feeling awkward. “But also because they are controlling this album’s release because of all…the most recent drama lately.” I sigh. “Honestly, the photo shoots aren’t that big of a deal. Usually it’s us standing around looking like a bunch of pretentious douche bags while we smile and pose for a few hours.” She laughs and I smile. “We may have a wardrobe change or two and we’ll just do what they ask until they get the ‘perfect shot’. Then we’re out of there.”
“Cool. I’m a little nervous. I’m not really a fan of getting my picture taken,” she grimaces.
“I’ve gotta tell ya, songbird, you’re going to have to start getting used to that.” She knows I’m right. The label has managed to keep Sailor’s identity and addition to the band under wraps so far, but no doubt she’s already causing a buzz with photographers wondering what she’s doing around us. They’ve already captured photos of us going in and out of the studio and the arena. Most of the rags have decided that she’s the girlfriend of one of us, but haven’t fully agreed on which one.
“He’s right,” Nixon says. “You being part of the band is going to hit the interwebs in a big way here soon.”
“They aren’t wrong,” Rocco says. “You heard that the label is sending out a press release tomorrow, right?” She nods. “They want to announce your addition. To them, it’s all about the timing.”
“Yep,” I interrupt. Since when was this a group conversation anyway? She was talking to me. “It’s all about the timing to them. They want to build up curiosity immediately before our single drops next week. They even decided not to have us do a video for the new song, choosing instead to have this photo shoot and letting Rolling Stone Magazine release the story as a last minute online announcement instead.”
“Jace mentioned that, but I guess I didn’t realize that it was related to my joining.” We all nod at her confirming that’s exactly what it is. “It all feels pretty crazy,” Sailor says with a shake of her head.
“I don’t want to say that you’ll get used to it, because I don’t know if that ever happens, but I promise it will get easier,” Henley says kindly patting her on the shoulder making me frown. He catches my look and winks. I briefly consider tackling him to the floor and punching him but the thought is interrupted by a yelling voice.
“Alright, are you guys in position?” Ronnie bellows down to us and we all scatter to our designated spots guiltily.
“We’re ready,” Rocco yells back.
“Alright, here we go,” Ronnie replies.
We wait for our cues and we watch as Rocco rises to the stage first. The curtain is supposed to open and the spotlight will go on him and the drums as he plays the first notes of ‘Chaos’. We can hear his beats begin, and then Nixon’s being lifted and will join on the keyboard. We can hear his quick fingers moving over the keys adding to the fast beat and in no time Henley’s on his way to join them. Moments later the guitar begins.
“Ready?” I ask Sailor.
“As I’ll ever be,” she says. “See you on stage.”
“Yes, you will,” I tell her and wink on my way up. After a couple beats I grab the microphone and start singing about how love creates chaos on the body, heart and soul. When it’s time for the second verse, Sailor seems to magically appear about ten feet away and takes the microphone to sing her verse. I couldn’t take my eyes off her if I wanted to. The way the light shines on her, she almost looks angelic. I’ve had a few weeks to listen to her sing, to enjoy it as her notes make love to the melodies of all of our songs, but I’m not even close to tiring of hearing her. She’s definitely a natural…amazing
, and her voice and very being captivate and move me in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve been trying to deny it, but it’s pointless. Problem is we seem to have a love hate relationship half of the time. And despite desires to the contrary, she’s only acted like a fellow band member.
When it’s time for me to join her in song I do. Our voices rise together and it’s almost as if I can see them wrap around each other embracing and becoming one. Fate had to bring us together because no two voices could be meant to sing together more than ours. I glance back at the guys and see the same looks on their faces that I know I’m sporting as they watch Sailor determining how she does on our first run through. When we are supposed to move to our second markers, we do so flawlessly and as instructed, instead of facing the crowd, we face each other and sing. The words come out of my mouth automatically, effortlessly, long since memorized, but they become anew singing them with her. I see the sparkle and excitement in her eyes, the curve of a smile on her lips as she sings, and I watch the way her body can’t help but move to the song and I know my body responds instinctively to her. Additionally, once again I recognize I am not merely singing with her, but some of the lyrics, to her - and that realization scares the shit out of me.
When the song is over, she and I hold each other’s gaze a few beats longer than necessary and completely miss the cue to move to our next locations. It isn’t until Nixon says, “That was fucking amazing!” into the microphone that we look away and laugh.
“Yeah, hilarious. Love the way you completely missed your prompts and movements,” Ronnie says sarcastically.
I look at Sailor and mimic Ronnie, “Yeah, hilarious,” and she bursts out laughing.
“Alright, that’s it. Get out of here. You have a photo shoot to get to thank baby Jesus because I don’t want to see your ridiculous faces,” Ronnie says and we all chuckle to ourselves as we leave. “They just buzzed me that your ride is here.”
When we walk out of the back of the building, the limo that will take us to our shoot is sitting curbside. We all pile inside amidst photographers yelling our names, but pre-arranged fencing barriers keeps them far enough away that it’s easy to ignore them. “Jace, hey,” I say when we’re inside and see Jace sitting there. I’m surprised when I see Rick at his side. That is…unexpected. “Hi, Rick,” I nod and he smiles.
“Hey guys, how was the rest of the rehearsal?” Jace asks. He had stayed for only a brief time, having left earlier to make sure everything was set for our photo shoot and to answer any questions or issues that may have arisen.
“It was good. Ronnie yelled at us like always. But Sailor kicked ass,” Henley says taking a water out of the refrigerator and passing one out to all of us.
“I’m sorry I missed that,” Rick says, “Good to hear, though not surprising. I’m expecting great things from you based on what I’ve heard so far. How did it feel Sailor?”
She takes a moment to respond, twisting off the cap of her water and taking a long drink first. “It was pretty amazing, I’m not going to lie. I can’t get over how big the arena is. I mean, I’ve attended concerts here before, it’s just-”
“It looks completely different from the stage, yeah?” Rocco asks with a smile.
“Yeah. It’s crazy.”
“What’s crazy is that every single seat will be filled,” Jace says sliding next to her – a little too closely in my opinion. I realize a frown has possessed my face.
“Every single one?” She asks her eyes wide.
“Yep,” he says.
“Shut up, Jace or she’s going to turn even whiter,” I reply grumpily.
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s just…this is mind blowing.”
Jace and Rick continue to ask us questions about the rehearsal, but I only have eyes and thoughts for Sailor. I’d like to spend some one on one time with her. Every single time I intend to do so or maneuver the situation so I’m with her, it ends up being a group event. I would kill to get her alone again. Maybe work up to a repeat of our time in the closet at the club. Fuck, I want my mouth on hers again. I’m barely able to think of much else.
It isn’t until Rick says my name that I zero back in on the conversation around me. “What’s that?” I ask.
“I said that the reason I’m here is because there’s something I need to talk to you all about.”
We all look at each other nervously, like kids being called into the principal’s office – and I momentarily wonder when I will realize that Rick needs us as much as we need him and can forego these reactions. Aware that we are all a bit leery of what new expectation he has up his sleeve, I answer for all us attempting to exude a confidence I’m not fully feeling. “Okay, what’s up?”
“As you know it’s my hope that by adding Sailor to the band the tarnish that’s been in the press about the group will be wiped clean.”
“God, help us,” Henley mutters or maybe prays under his breath next to me and I find that I’m seconding the sentiment.
“No offense, Rick, but how long are we going to need to continue to hear about the stain on our group that I’ve caused? I’ve apologized, I’ve promised to change and I have, and I’ve said I’d do whatever I need to in order to get us in a great place. What else can I do?” I ask feeling frustrated.
“Well, Maddox, I’m glad you asked because while what I have to say applies to all of you, in candor it’s especially targeted at you and Sailor,” he replies and Sailor and I raise our brows at his words.
“What do you mean? What are you talking about?” Sailor asks.
Rick hesitates, looks at Jace who looks at me, then back at Rick and nods. What the fuck is going on? “I expect that news of Sailor joining the band will go over well. I’ve heard the whispers in the industry of those that have seen her presence around you lately wondering what’s transpiring. I, myself, released a leak about her potentially joining the group to see how it would be received and it’s been nothing but positive so far, which is great. But, I think that there is something we can do that will draw even more attention to you, and your music. Something that will help put you quickly back on top because curiosity will be at an all-time high.”
We all have no idea what he’s alluding to and while he looks at each of us, maybe expecting a guess, we simply stare back at him having no clue what he’s getting at.
“I’m just going to cut to the chase. It’s my opinion that a perceived relationship between Maddox and Sailor will bring more attention to you and your music.” He turns to Sailor, “I know this is not what you were expecting, and you’re new to this business and frankly I’m going out on a limb even asking this of you, but it would only be temporary and it would be nothing more than looking like a couple when you know the press is watching, and for the photo shoot for the album cover. After the album releases we will discontinue the ‘relationship’.”
“And what? We just have an amicable break up and we won’t lose fans when that happens? What about all the followers who like the idea that we’re all single?” I ask.
“I don’t believe they’ll be an issue. There has been enough evidence of how this has catapulted performers and entertainers as long as it’s handled appropriately. We’ll come out with a press release that states you realized it’s best to call it quits and you’re better off friends, have mutual respect for one another and want to concentrate on your music. Or we don’t say anything at all. We don’t owe anyone anything. You would only be doing this in order to draw attention to the new album. Again, we’ll figure out the details closer to the break-up.” It seems he is almost a bit too giddy and happy with himself for having conceived this great scheme.
Admittedly, I am quickly trying to process the pros and cons given my developing thoughts about her.
“And you believe that sales will go up because of a perceived relationship?” Rocco asks.
“Yes. There are statistics I can share with you if needed showing this to be the case,” Rick replies.
“This is ridic
ulous,” Nixon says. “We shouldn’t have to resort to something like this to get sales.”
“I agree. Why can’t we let our music speak for itself? People will hear our sound and be drawn in by that,” Henley adds.
“Or they could ignore you completely because they’re fed up with the shit they’ve been reading in the press,” Jace says making me flinch.
“Come on, I get that it hasn’t been gravy in the press about us, but doesn’t bad press also bring curiosity and therefore sales? It’s been a while since the worst garbage has been published,” Rocco asks.
Rick picks up his briefcase from the floor which I didn’t even see until now. Opening it, he takes out some papers and passes one to each of us. Glancing at it, I see several questions and answers, and a burning sensation starts moving from the top of my head to my stomach when I realize what I’m holding. “A survey,” I practically whisper.
“Yes. I hired a third party company to conduct a telephone survey of individuals that purchased your downloads or CDs via various means from our online distributor.”
“When? When did you do this?”
“It took eight days to conduct and was concluded a couple weeks ago,” Jace answers for Rick not meeting any of our eyes.
Rick continues, “We asked a variety of questions. But imbedded in the survey were specific questions to help elicit their overall and specific opinions of Graffiti and the individual band members. We also asked about the likelihood to purchase future music or recommend your music to others,” Rick answers.
“Fuck,” Henley says and folds his paper in half so he doesn’t have to look at it further.
“Are these percentages accurate?” Rocco asks, horror clear on his face.
“Of the people that filled out the survey, yes,” Rick says. Unsolicited, he proceeds to go over the numbers with us. He relates the number of people that were called versus the number that answered the questions. He tells us the percentages for each question, and our spirits sink further and further. Me? I wish I could vanish. I knew that there had been stories in the news of course, I knew that people were gossiping and I’ve heard the insults thrown out at me by the press, but for some reason it never occurred to me that our band could sink over this. The facts confuse me immensely. Some people who had previously purchased our music responded as though they had never heard of us. Others clearly were not inclined to consider us as a major draw. While some were still aligned, the percentages were much lower than any of us would have expected. When ranked against other bands in order of who they were either looking forward to hearing in concerts or felt worthy to spend dollars on for concerts, music or other paraphernalia, we ranked much lower than groups we knew we outperformed. Sensing our feelings of failure and dismay, Rick attempted to offer rationale and a glimmer of hope, “I think part of the problem is that while you’ve been signed with me, it merely hasn’t been long enough and you haven’t toured enough for you to really get a captured and committed fanbase. As you see, large numbers aren’t holding their breaths for your next releases or to attend your concerts, though there is a groundswell of interest that we can build upon. So, we need to give them a reason to be curious, to be eager, to be willing to spend their dollars and while we are sure your music and sound will speak volumes and provide its own enticement, we are simply not confident that it will be enough. That’s why I’ve come up with this idea.”
Broken Melody (Graffiti On Tour Series) Page 17