Yet, I can't seem to get my shit together.
It's not just my hair. I'm still in a bath towel. My makeup is only half done.
I'm procrastinating, and I know it. So does Zane.
"Okay, let's stop freaking out and get moving. You're the one that wants to go to Hunter's first."
"I can't do this. Maybe we shouldn't go. Maybe tonight's not the right night to tell everyone. I don't want to ruin Justine's party. She obviously has something big to tell everyone."
Zane walks over and sits on the counter in front of me, pushing my curling iron out of the way so he doesn't burn his ass. I unplug it and attempt to look past his enormous body and continue fixing the mess on top of my head.
"Ally, you're beautiful. Stop fussing, put some clothes on, and let's go. I think after we talk to Hunter, you'll feel better about all this."
"I feel great about this, about us," I say, motioning between us. "I just hate how I know people are going to start talking, and I can only imagine what they'll say."
"That you snagged yourself a hunk," he replies proudly, flexing his muscles, which causes his shirt to tighten across his chest. "That you're a lucky bitch, and they're jealous. Who cares?"
I can. I control the gossip so I'm not at the center of it, or at least I used to. No one's saying anything right now, which is abnormal. Even before I came on the scene and took control, people were always talking. I'd hear the whispers in the hallway. I'd see people talking in the corner of the breakroom.
Dixon isn't that different from any other office. It's boring, and the only way to keep things interesting is to find something to talk about amongst yourselves. Even if you have to speculate. Even if your speculations are farfetched and there's no chance of them being true.
"I just don't want to be at the center of the rumor mill, that's all. It can be vicious. They'll take how we met and flip it, make me out to be a tramp, and then start looking at everything I do with interest."
"Listen, I don't care what they say about you. I like who you are. I like what we have. Nothing they can say would make me think twice about being with you. Just remember that when they start talking shit. Most people who spread rumors do it for a reason. They don't want the spotlight on them, so they point it in the other direction. It's petty and stupid. Just ignore them, Ally."
Petty and stupid is right, but that doesn't change the fact that I used to be the one pointing. A little fact I have yet to confess to. It feels like I have the opportunity to right now, but I think we've done enough sharing for one visit. Maybe next time.
Plus, I need to put clothes on if we're even going to confront Hunter. Brianna can only stall him so long. I'm sure she's getting impatient waiting for us. We're supposed to be 'picking them up' for the party. Well, I am. That was the only way to ensure we talk to Hunter beforehand.
Pulling my ponytail tight, I take a deep breath and kick Zane out of the bathroom so I can finish up. Ten minutes later, after a coat of fresh powder and mascara, I slip into my dress and heels, and we're out the door.
To confront Hunter.
To confess to our sins.
Hopefully, to get his blessing because if not, I'm going to break down. This week has been stressful enough. It hasn't gone as planned. Dealing with my past put me on an emotional roller coaster, and I'm ready to get off this ride.
Chapter Twelve
Standing in front of Hunter's front door, my fist is poised, but it refuses to make the necessary motion to actually to knock on the door. Once I do, our secret is out. Things will change. I'm not sure if I'm actually ready for that.
For everyone to know.
Because once we tell Hunter, there's no reason to keep our relationship a secret anymore. I can only imagine the rumors that will fly around the office. It's been so quiet the last few weeks that I imagine this is the spark that will reignite the fire.
Only this time, I won't be the one spreading things. I'll be at the center of every word and phrase uttered. Eyes will follow my every move. Whispers will stop when I walk into a room.
All the things I've been trying to avoid this entire time. It's about to smack me across the face.
Just like it did when Kevin died.
Yeah, I'm not ready for this, but before I can turn to confess all my fears to Zane, he reaches past me and pounds on the door twice.
"It's going to be fine," he whispers as the front door is slowly pulled open and a young girl greets us.
"Hello. Can I help you?"
"You must be Vanessa," Zane states, extending his hand to her. "Zane."
Vanessa. Bethany's biological mother. I've been so caught up in my own world lately and avoiding all things Hunter for obvious reasons, I forgot she was living with them.
"Oh, nice to meet you. You must be looking for Hunter. He's in his office."
Of course he is. It's Friday night. Why not work after the workday is done?
Well, in his defense, he's been leaving early most days this week. I'm sure he's been working from home a lot.
"Thanks," he says, ushering me inside, past Vanessa.
"I'm Allison," I say, not wanting to be rude.
"It's nice to finally meet you," Vanessa replies with a smile, pulling me in for a hug.
She knows who I am? That's weird. Brianna must have said something to her. I'm sure it wasn't Hunter.
"It's about time," Brianna shouts as she rushes into the foyer. "We've been ready for twenty minutes. We're going to be late."
Vanessa excuses herself immediately. Smart girl. I'd consider this the danger zone. Someone may get punched or bitched out. It all depends on how Brianna reacts in the next ten seconds.
Sharing a look with Zane, Brianna pulls him in for a hug and whispers something in his ear. When she releases him, he shoots me a wink before disappearing down the hall. Brianna slides up next to me and takes my hand.
"It's going to be fine. I promise."
"I doubt that, but thank you."
"Want to meet Bethany while you wait?" she offers.
The only child I know or really interact with is Amara. She's six. I've never really dealt with a baby before. I'm not exactly excited to meet one. In fact, with the karma I have coming to me eventually, she's probably going to hate me and vomit on me or something.
"Sure," I say, not wanting to hurt Brianna's feelings.
There's nothing but excitement in her voice when she talks about Bethany. It's her dream come true. It may not have happened the traditional way, but that's life. A lot of things occur when you least expect them to. At the wrong time. In ways that you never imagined they would.
Bethany is only one example.
Zane is another.
She's sleeping soundly in her crib when we walk in the nursery. Staring at her tiny body, I realize how fragile she is. How fragile life really is. Tears sting my eyes, an unexpected response, and before I realize what I'm saying, I ask Brianna if I can hold her.
Taking a seat in the rocking chair next to the crib, Brianna gently lays her sleeping body in my arms, causing her to stir. When she opens her bright blue eyes and looks up at me, I'm in love. How could anyone not love this child? She's perfect.
We stare at each other for a few more minutes, the room completely silent except the soft sounds of the mobile above the crib, until she closes her eyes again. Once she's back to sleep, I look up to find Zane, Hunter, and Brianna all staring at me. Watching me hold Bethany.
"She's asleep again. Are we ready to go?" I ask, my question directed at Zane, who's looking at me with lust in his eyes.
"Yeah. We're... good."
There was a long enough pause that it makes me wonder what he really means. Only time will tell, I guess.
Hunter walks over, takes Bethany's sleeping body from my arms, and gently lays her back in her crib. Pushing myself out of the chair, I'm about to join Zane and Brianna in the hall when Hunter's words stop me dead in my tracks.
"You lied to me."
Shit. I knew 'good' did
n't actually mean what it was intended to.
"Listen—"
"No, you listen," he starts, turning to face me but keeping his voice low so he doesn't wake up the baby. "Zane and I go way back. He means a lot to me. I knew the moment I told you two to stay away from each other that you wouldn't, but I had to try. Neither of you have the best track record, and I was afraid he'd hurt you."
"What?"
He was afraid I'd get hurt? But I thought...
"Zane's a big boy. He can handle himself. He doesn't get close enough to women to allow them to hurt him. You on the other hand. I could see you getting hurt. One weekend of fun and you'd fall in love with him. It's happened before; it could happen again. He has this way about him that women love. I don't get it, but they flock to him. I didn't want you to fall for him and then have him disappear on you.
"You're as much of a part of this family as he is. I didn't want to have to choose. At the same time, I knew you weren't in a good place either. You could have flipped the script on him. Used him and dropped him. That wasn't as likely, but there was still a chance it could happen. If it had, I would have had to listen to him bitch about you constantly and then see you every day at work. I don't need that stress in my life.
"So I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him. If you two really want to make this work, be honest with each other. Keep it casual until you know for sure you can make it work. You live in two different worlds. In two different states. If you rush into this, things are bound to blow up in your face. It'll be catastrophic. And it'll affect more than just the two of you."
I nod because I'm not exactly sure how to reply to that. He basically just told me not to fall in love with Zane, so I can't exactly confess that I already have.
"Okay, now let’s go see what Justine and Devon are keeping from us. I have a feeling it's going to overshadow the fact that you'll be on Zane's arm when we walk in."
I sure as hell hope so.
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze, Hunter and I leave a sleeping Bethany in her crib and go in search of Zane and Brianna. I expected them to be outside the door, listening in, when, in fact, we find them in the kitchen, laughing with Vanessa.
This feels right.
All of it.
From Brianna and Hunter having a baby and helping the mother of their child. To Zane and I being together, our relationship out in the open. Everyone's smiling, laughing, and enjoying life. Let's just hope the rest of the night turns out the same way...
"Are you sure you want to walk in together?" I ask Zane, pulling him to a stop on the porch. Brianna and Hunter don't stop. They let themselves in, opening the front door of Devon's house and leaving it open for us.
I'm not worried about the looks of shock we're going to receive. I'm worried about the angry daggers Justine is going to shoot at him with her eyes when she sees he's here. When she puts all the little things together and realizes I've been lying to her.
She won't direct her anger at me. She'll direct it at him. He's the reason I've been lying to her. He's the secret I've been hiding. The secret that has the potential to overshadow whatever she has going on tonight.
I just pray, her news is bigger than mine.
"It doesn't matter if we walk in together or ten minutes apart. Everyone will know why I'm here. They'll know who I'm with. I won't be able to keep my eyes off you, and I'll give myself away. So, yes. We don't have anything to hide, Ally."
My heart swells with love. This man is everything I ever dreamed of. Most importantly, he knows me, all of me, all my secrets, and he's still proud to be with me. There's only ever been one other man this accepting of me.
I married him.
He died.
Zane feels like my second chance. At love. At life. At happiness.
Pushing up on my tiptoes, I kiss him soundly on the lips. Taking his hand in mine, we walk through the still wide-open front door. That's when I suck in a deep breath, taking in my surroundings.
Large, cardboard cutouts of poker chips, dice, and cards are hanging from the ceiling. Red, blue, and green balloons are floating around. Streamers in the same colors cover most of the hall. On the table in the entryway are stacks of poker chips on top of a box of playing cards with name tags in front of them.
Finding mine, I snag the cards and chips and follow the streamers into the backyard.
More surprises.
Devon's new house is large. Grand, even. It's not over-the-top elaborate, but it's big enough to host a decent-size party like the one they're having today. Things stay intimate, but you're not shoulder to shoulder with people.
His yard is what really makes this place grand, though. And right now, with small tables made just for two and chairs scattered across the lawn, a bar to one side of the deck, and a dance floor with a DJ on the other, it still feels cozy.
"They really went all out, didn't they?" Zane comments when I point to a waitress with a tray of appetizers as she moves from group to group, offering food.
"I guess so. I've never seen anything like this before. The last time someone offered me an appetizer off a silver tray was at Angela and Tyler's wedding."
"Ally!" I hear someone call my name from behind me. When I spin in place, I find Megan in the doorway, Vinnie's arms wrapped around her from behind.
"Hey," I say, walking over with my arms wide open. She practically runs into them, her body crashing into mine, and she hugs me tightly.
"You're not mad at me, are you?"
"Hell no! I can't thank you enough. If you hadn't called him, I would have driven myself crazy trying to figure out how to do it myself. The voicemail I left him was pathetic at best."
I'll never be able to put into words how grateful I am that Megan stepped in and helped out. I didn't even know I needed her to, but she did. Friends like her are one in a million, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life.
"Ally?" I hear before Megan can reply.
Slowly peeling myself away from Megan, I look to my left to find Justine's gaze darting between me and Zane.
"Anything you want to tell me?" she asks, tilting her head in his direction.
"Do you want the short or long version?" I ask, trying to make it sound like a joke but falling short.
I can't read her stare. It's either a mix of anger and confusion or a mix of confusion and shock.
"How about I get the long version later and for now you give me the highlights."
Nodding, I ask Zane to grab me a drink and walk inside to fill Justine in as quickly as I can.
"So," she starts, taking a seat on the couch across from me.
"I like him. We kept seeing each other after the Bahamas trip was over, and we plan to continue to see each other."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't tell anyone."
"Yeah, but I'm your best friend. You tell me everything."
Not everything. I still haven't told Justine about Kevin. I wouldn't have told Megan if Harry hadn't put the idea in my head.
"How about this," I suggest. "I'll tell you everything tomorrow. Tonight is supposed to be about you. What's up with the gambling theme, anyway?"
A smirk crosses Justine's lips. That's dangerous. I've never seen that look on her face before. She's the sweet and innocent one in our relationship. I'm the secret keeper.
"You'll find out"—she looks down at her watch, and that's when I realize what she's hiding—"in about five minutes."
"Congratulations," I say, jumping up and pulling her in for a hug.
"But I didn't tell you yet," she protests.
She doesn't have to tell me. I have all the information I need. And I'm happy for her.
Chapter Thirteen
The music fades, and Devon's voice fills the backyard, hushing the murmur of voices.
"Thank you all for coming tonight. I know we've been a little secretive as to why we asked you all to come over tonight. Some of you were more understanding than others," he says, his eyes sear
ching the crowd.
"Fuck you!" I hear Tyler yell.
"Dude. You're a grown man. You can need to learn to deal with shit better."
"Secrets don't make friends," Tyler counters, causing everyone to laugh.
"I swear to God you're still twelve sometimes."
I feel Zane's chest rumble against my back as his arms tighten around my waist.
"Looks like we're not the only ones who've been keeping secrets," he whispers in my ear.
If he only knew what I've figured out. Mouths are going to drop. There's going to be an audible gasp. It's going to be fantastic.
"Anyway," Devon continues as Justine slides up next to him. "Last weekend, Justine and I went on vacation with some other friends and—"
"You don't have any other friends," Tyler yells.
Finally spotting him to my left, I catch sight of him just in time to watch Angela smack him in the back of the head.
"I'm about to have one less," Devon mutters, but the microphone is still close to his mouth. Everyone hears his words and starts poking fun at Tyler, who's currently rubbing the back of his head.
"Okay, people. Let's pay attention," I hear Justine. When I look back to where they're standing, she's stolen the microphone from Devon's hand. Her hand is on her hip and she's staring at our large group of friends, pointing at each one of them.
All eyes are on her.
She's done screwing around, and they can tell.
Devon takes the microphone back from her and starts his story again.
"So, we went on vacation. Can anyone guess where?" he asks, motioning around the backyard.
I know where.
Las Vegas.
Sin City.
It takes a minute, but Ryder figures it out and hollers. Devon only nods and lets it sink in for a few minutes before he continues.
"And while we were in Vegas, we decided to make our relationship a little more official."
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