“Maybe we should slow down?” The oxygen in the room had disappeared, and I was heaving for my next breath. I ran my hand through my hair, still feeling her sting there. I was in trouble. One hundred fucking days and I needed this release, but I was terrified. Her experience was completely different than mine. I needed rough, powerful, animalistic sex. She was innocent, and needed her first time full of love making; slow, and adoring sex. Her defensive voice caught me off guard.
“Is that what you say to all the girls?” ‘All the girls’ is what repeated in my head. She thought she was like all the other girls, and why wouldn’t she? sshhee?? I I eased eased off the bed, needing a break. Her words range in my ears. She was right. I was a male slut and would fuck anything. I ran my fingers through my hair, realizing that would always be there between us, the idea of all of the others. I stared into her dark, velvet blue eyes and knew I didn’t deserve her. I withdrew to the bathroom, but stopped just short.
“Please, don’t leave. I am so sorry. It feels so good, and then you tell me to slow down. I just want to be closer to you. Please, if you stay, I will be good.” She cleared her squeaky voice and repeated, “I promise to be good.” I couldn’t get past the part in my brain telling me I was going to permanently mark her, which was comical, because that’s what I did best. She continued pleading.
“It’s like torture. I can’t explain it. I hate that I told you what happened to me, because now you think I am weak.” That got my attention. I spun around and stalked aggressively toward where she was sprawled on the bed.
“That’s unfair; what you told me doesn’t make you weak. You are unlike any woman I have ever met. I have an ugly side, but around you, I want to be kind and soft. Most of all, I don’t want you to run away.” My voice was louder and scarier than I intended. “You have no idea what torture is.” It took everything inside me to muster up the courage to grab my sleep pants and move away from this ready and willing, beautiful, blue-eyed creature, but I did. Katarina already knew how to push my buttons, more like, stomp on my buttons.
“Go to hell! You are all talk. I am not sure who told you that you are addicted to sex, but they were wrong.” I focused all of my attention on her unrestrained words. She was pissed; the curse word at the beginning of her statement was proof. She was hurt and wounded, and was now lashing out, and the sick thing was, I loved it—her spunk, and her spark—it brought out the real princess in her.
“In fact, I think you have a thing for your dick in the shower.” She was off the bed and on the move, talking as she stomped out of the room. It amazed me how much I enjoyed this side of her, and she was funny. “A thing for my dick in the shower.” That was hilarious. In three large strides, I sideswiped her and tossed her over my shoulder again. There was no way she was going anywhere. I flung her on the bed and she continued to talk, unaffected by my means of physical domination. I caged her body beneath mine, like I was an animal getting ready to feast, and she defiantly huffed. She was the only girl I had ever met who was impervious to my aggressive side.
“I am not in the mood anymore.” She crossed her arms firmly over her chest and tilted her face away from me. Her snobby princess side struck again. She should have known by now that didn’t work with me. I smiled more to myself. I was enjoying this, loving it actually. There was no way she could walk away from me. This passion, her anger, could only mean she liked me. Katarina was indifferent to everyone, but right now, she couldn’t even look at me. I bet she was in love with me.
“All right, leave if you want,” I challenged. She flinched. I saw it. Her teeth buried deeper into her lips. She was itching to say something. I stared at her, willing her to look at me. I wanted to see the hunger in her blue eyes, the aggressive, pissed-off passion.
“I am not sure what to do with you. I have never had a girl that was so pissed off at me before sex, unless it was a ploy to get me to be rougher.” Her head tilted back, her eyes met mine, and I challenged her to call my bluff. Her stare was deadly, and I’m not going to lie, I was a little intimidated.
“If looks could kill.” I laughed at the thought of this small petite thing intimidating me. That only made her more agitated. I couldn’t stop with the laughter. She asked me if I was done in her irritated voice. I let her know she would be aware when I was done. I knew I needed to stop provoking her, but she was adorable when she was mad. Her pissed-off comments were funny, and not ruthless and mean. I felt human around her. Her facial expressions held her true emotion, and I wanted to study more of her. That funniness stopped when I confessed how much I wanted to discipline her for her sassy mouth. I tried to convince her to stay, but her anger was at the front of all of her emotions now, and it was driving her.
“What kind of things do you want to do to me? Do you hit women, Jason? Do you want to hit me?” She kept talking, but I didn’t hear anything else. I doubted myself. I was selfish, and no amount of restraint would protect her from the real me. I wanted to spank her, hold her down, make her beg, and I wanted to dominate every hair on her body. Is that right? Is that normal? Who the fuck am I?
“I want to be better for you. I am trying to be better.” What the hell? “No more angry sex; no more pain for pleasure.” I wanted that right? Not just for her, but normal everyday people didn’t like pain, right? She started speaking again, but my world was crumbling right before my eyes. I couldn’t hear her words, just the name…Bettina’s name.
“You are the opposite of her.” I tried to convince her with my words just how positively she affected me, and that the real purpose for my sex hesitation was that I didn’t want to frighten her away, but I felt her pulling away from me already. Could I blame her? I wouldn’t go into the forest with the big bad wolf, so why would I expect her to?
“When you grabbed my hair earlier, I almost held you down and fucked you right then. I can’t control it; my want to mark you only increases. My instinct to possess you is so severe I can’t slow it down. It’s all or nothing.”
Her voice was sad and pleading, “When you touch me, you make me feel amazing. I want to be with you however, I can. Please don’t stop. I want you to possess me.” Her words were music to my fucking ears, and I reached over and wrapped my arms around her in a fierce hug. Mine. She wiggled and I loosened my hold, thinking she had more words to say. She leaned over, and I felt her hot breath against my right shoulder before I felt the pain from an extremely hard, animalistic bite. I knew from that point I couldn’t stop whatever this was between us. A growl escaped my lips, and I fisted my hands into her soft black hair, yanking her head back to get her full attention.
“Fuck, you drive me crazy. Do you know how unbelievably sexy you are?” I was in the sex zone. I stripped before her, almost shredding my pants off in the process. My cock was a bundle of nerves, and this freedom was causing severe pain. I leaned over to grab one of the condoms I had found in our game of hide-and-seek, and covered myself in record time. I glanced back to my awaiting princess, and I saw fear in her wide eyes. It was a great look. It made me feel powerful, and in control again. I pushed all of my own lack of normalcy fears aside. I was suddenly impatient to be nestled inside her.
“You for sure know what you’re doing with that thing, right?” My scared rabbit was back, and I wanted to stroke her hair and tell her I was scared too, but I didn’t. I gave her my best reassuring grin.
“I haven’t forgotten. Trust me, it will feel delicious. It will feel so good you won’t ever want to leave me.” I liked my little speech. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.
Chapter Fourteen
Okay, where do I start? I eased on the bed and positioned myself between her legs. This was a first. I reminded myself I was a gentleman, and I could make slow, adoring love. I pried open her arms, snatching her sleeping clothes from her hands. I tossed them aside, assessing her body at the same time. Her eyes burned into mine, and I felt her body relax. I fought my instinct to tell her what a good girl she was. This was a lesson of trust. I just wasn�
�t sure who the teacher was and who was the student.
I licked two fingers, coating them with my saliva. Her eyes became heavy as she glanced at me in a sensual haze, and I hadn’t even touched her yet. I let my hand fall as I continued to lock eyes with her. My two fingers settled on the top of her pussy. Her body trembled under my touch. I took my time, relishing the feel of her smooth skin. I eased my fingers in between her pussy lips, rubbing them simultaneously on both sides of her clit. Her eyes broke contact with mine, and she tilted her head back, taking in a loud gasp of air. A moan escaped her lips. My fingers grazed the outside of her hole, and her eyes snapped open right before I slipped them in. I was deliberate and unhurried, stroke after stroke. I twisted my wrist, scissoring out my fingers, preparing her for me. She was hot, and my hand was drenched. Her legs fell open, and I had the perfect view of my rough fingers pumping her, fucking her. She was my own private porno; I could watch her all day.
“You are so swollen and wet for me.” Ah shit. She was so frickin’ tight. She involuntarily clamped down on my fingers. She obviously had muscles everywhere. “Do you like my fingers in you like this?” I sped up my rhythm, having trouble controlling my own needs. The lust I had for her was almost debilitating. “How many fingers do you like in your pussy?” She tossed her head to the side, and her lips parted as she whimpered and groaned loudly. She liked the dirty talk. I felt her body start to tense while I pumped her. I knew she was on the verge of climaxing.
I slid my fingers out and positioned myself over her shivering body, my penis nudging her dripping wet entrance. Slow and steady, I repeated to myself. It took everything in me to rein in the animal side. I studied her closely as I pushed my fully erect cock inside her snug, slick, hot pussy. Her eyes grew wide and she held her breath. I leaned over her carefully to softly whisper in her ear, “Breathe.”
She immediately inhaled. Good girl. I moved my hand to stroke her silky hair before placing it on the bed’s headboard. I settled my other hand right next to her face and rested my entire lower half on her body. This gave me full control and kept me slightly off-balance, preventing me from slamming into her. I gripped the headboard tightly.
“You are so fucking sexy; everything about you is so sexy.” She was ruining me for anyone else after her. I groaned in appreciation for how snug she was. I glided in slowly, enjoying every second, every tight muscle being stretch around me, and the hot liquid dripping down my cock and resting on my balls. My eyes rolled back, and then found hers again. There were tears streaming over the edge, toppling over one-by-one and running down the sides of her face. She didn’t appear sad or scared, so I continued until I was all the way in. To say it was wonderful would be an understatement. I wanted to stay like that for longer, but my body physically couldn’t handle any more pain. The throbbing that was happening in my cock was all that mattered now. I shifted out, and the feeling was just as heavenly. Then she lifted her hips up, tilting them. It was an offering. She was sacrificing herself to me, and my animal side was screaming, ‘Give her what you got!’ The tears continued down her beautiful face. I reminded myself I was a gentleman. I rested my chest against her nipples and kissed her. I licked her, savoring the taste on my tongue, and loving the texture of her smooth skin on her neck and jaw, and then her collarbone, while I slowly continued to impale her. Fucking better than any dream, there was no imitation. I suddenly had the urge to kiss her mouth, so I did, still thrusting my aching cock in and out of her. Right now, she lived and breathed for me. My tongue explored every crevice of her mouth and lips while she breathed my air. I controlled everything about her right now. It was then she stole my control, as if she could read my thoughts, my dominating-fucking-control thoughts. I felt her nails stinging my scalp and I threw my head back, a loud growl echoing around us. She directed my mouth back to hers, and then the intensity of our desires switched. Her appetite for me was stronger, if possible. Her tongue thrashed around in my mouth. I was suddenly breathing her scent, her air. I fought for control of my lower-half, thrusting to the point of frenzy. It was indescribable the way it felt to fuck her. Her hands left my hair, traveling down to my ass as I continued to pound into her. She scratched her claws into my flesh all the way up to my shoulders.
“Fuck!” I snapped, and if I wasn’t impaling her with force before, I was now. It had been so long, and it felt so right, so fucking good. She was mine, and she would know it when she walked away. I studied her as the look of shock filled her still crying eyes. I couldn’t stop my rigid thrusting, or my heavy breathing. I was branding her, and she would take it—she had to.
Shit, I can’t help it—the desperate way my body wants her…needs her. Claiming her is all that matters. It’s part of my survival.
Her hand slipped up my chest and rested above my heart, and I watched her eyes shift to calm understanding. She had a direct connection to my heart, and it was eerie how her innocent and timid hands calmed me. That’s right, Katarina. You hold my heart. I slowed my intense thrusting as I moved my sure hands down to her swollen bud and stirred it while I rocked into her. I continued my slow torture on her clit, knowing it was the key for her to let go, and after a few moments, she stopped fighting and relented to the sweet sensation of her third orgasm, and the first one while I was buried deep inside her. Three orgasms total that I had given her. Only me. Her pussy muscles flexed around me, and she screamed incoherently. Good girl. It was all I could do not to release my own pleasure burst, her aftershocks just as powerful as her climax. What a beautiful sight, watching her lose all her inhibitions and submit to me. Fucking beautiful. It was time, time for me to pull out. I was seconds away. I knew I needed to leave, ‘no trace’, but I couldn’t, or I didn’t want to.
“It’s okay to let go,” she whispered like she could read my mind. Her seductive lips moved in slow motion, and then she swallowed, the entire action sexy as hell and I lost my self-control. I thrust deep inside her and came. I wasn’t sure what happened after that. I heard a shout leave my lips, and my toes cramped, followed by a tingle filling the inside of my whole body, and my eyes were stuck in the back of my head. I think I might have convulsed a little. My heart had a sharp pain, and I actually flinched because its strength, the powerful pain seeming to radiate.
I fell to her side, in no hurry to remove my part in our connection. What in the hell was that? It was such a dramatic difference from before. Before, I was done after I completed, and like the opposite side of the magnet, I couldn’t get away from my sex partner fast enough. Now, I was...snuggling. I was turning into a pussy. I began breathing again, inhaling her scent, my smell on her, and I wanted to pull her tight to me. What the hell? Cuddle? I got up, disgusted with myself, and felt my penis slip from her body—another reminder of what I let myself do. I shook my head, yelling at myself for my blatant stupidity, and stormed to the bathroom. I was at a loss for anything to say.
“Thank you.” My voice was weak, but I meant it. Thank you for your trust and your body. I closed and locked the bathroom door, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. My vision was clouded, it felt like the world had shifted and I was constantly out of balance. The last time I had this feeling, Jacy had just died. I splashed water on my face, taking long breaths. I bowed my head and asked for balance and understanding. I was confused about my reaction to what just happened. If I could comprehend what was happening, I could fix it or adapt, depending on the source.
I left the bathroom a long while later, and was surprised to find an empty bed. No one had ever left me after sex. Okay, so they would have to wait for me to untie them, but whatever. I treaded down the hall and made my way into the spare bedroom. I heard the shower running in the bathroom and went to open the door, but it was locked. I leaned my head on the door and sighed. Fuck. I hated how bad I wished I was in that shower with her. I turned, almost tripping over her suitcase, which was loaded with shoes and blocking the closet door from closing. I needed to confront the closet issue. Maybe tomorrow.
At t
he bottom of the steps, I heard noises outside, and then the front door swung open. Jessica and her two children trickled inside. The children broke into a run when they saw me.
“Uncle Jason!” I bent down, and they both slipped into my embrace. Jessica was right behind them. She eyed me slowly before she leaned in for her hug.
“What happened?” Her voice was laced with concern.
I glanced up the stairs and her eyes followed mine.
“Is she here?” She was suddenly protective, like she was defending her cub.
“Let’s go outside.” I led her to the backyard deck where we both had a seat.
I released a deep sigh I had been holding, and ran my fingers through my hair.
“All right, what did she do to you?” My sister could be a defensive pit-bull sometimes.
“I am just confused. She didn’t do anything to me.” I shifted my eyes away from hers, and I began staring at the birds bathing in the fountain. “I…uh…had sex with her.” I turned my head slowly, so by the time I finished talking I was facing her again, and her expression was priceless: a smile, followed by confusion, and then she crossed her arms and narrowed her bright green eyes at me.
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