“Katarina, you’re my favorite person too.” I snuggled as close to her as physically possible, entangled my body with hers, and fell asleep.
I awoke early in the morning. I felt the bed shift, and I wanted to catch her in the act of leaving. I quickly rolled over and flipped the switch on my nightstand lamp, and flipped back over. She was curled up in the fetal position, naked without covers, and she was rocking slightly.
“Katarina?” She didn’t respond. “Katarina, are you okay?” I sat up and hovered over her cold body, not sure what to do. Her wet hair was draped over her face, so I leaned over to move all of it away from her mouth so I could hear her words. She was mumbling, “Bri, are you there? It’s dark and cold in here. Bri?” Her voice was barely audible. Her rocking started again, and her body was so rigid and tense it was freaking me out.
“Katarina, wake up. You’re dreaming!” I raised my voice, yelling towards the end. She continued to rock back and forth, and her body was icy cold. I laid back down and pulled her body into mine, throwing the covers over both of us. My body completely engulfed hers, and I started to sing to her. It was the song my mom always sang to me when I had nightmares.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take take my my sunshine sunshine away." I sang slowly and held her tightly. She was relaxed by the time I finished, but I laid there wide awake.
“Katarina.” She didn’t answer. I listened to her breathing patterns as they equaled out. “Katarina, I am going to be good to you. I promise.” I buried my nose in her neck. “I think I love you, and I really want you to be happy here. I also have a lot of dirty thoughts associated with your fine ass body. I am going to be all of your firsts. Did you know that? I am going to leave pieces of me on every inch of your body. How, you ask? Well, you have to wait and see. It’s a surprise. Also, Katarina, it’s too much of a turn on when you sway your hips while you walk, so from now on, I am going to carry you places…everywhere. My hands only have a thing for you now, and anytime I can touch you, I am going to. Oh, and one more thing, before I go to sleep, I want to thank you for being here.” I leaned over, turned off the light, and then molded myself to her body.
Chapter Twenty
In the morning, she was gone. I checked everywhere, but she had vanished. I opened the door, set off the house alarm, and yelled for Bo. I stalked to the front door after securing the alarm and opened it. Katarina’s car was gone. I needed her to start parking in the garage. That way, the sound of the garage door would wake me. I stormed upstairs and took a shower. Damn it, if she didn’t make me insecure every time she left. I kept thinking, this could be the time she leaves for good. I brushed my teeth and went back downstairs. I heard a car door slam and I raced back to the bedroom, intent on scaring the shit out of her. I heard Bo’s collar jingling as he scaled the stairs. The crack of the door alerted me she was in the lion’s den. She eased onto the bed and I pounced, trapping her helpless body beneath mine.
“Were you faking?” Oh, honey, I don’t fake.
“I missed you. Where did you go?” I started my rain of kisses all over her face, and then tried removing her clothes. She was mumbling about an awful shopping trip, but the only thing that mattered right now was getting my morning wood deep inside her, and making her yelp at the abrasive intrusion. I suckled her boobs, the nipples growing tight, and I showed my appreciation by nibbling on the ends. I stripped her pants in no time, and I jabbed two fingers into her hidden hole. Shit. She was wet. Her back arched at the quick invasion, and that instinctive reaction had my cock jerking with pleasure. I withdrew my fingers and stuck them in my mouth. Her eyes widened at the naughty finger licking.
“You taste so sweet.” I wanted her smell on my dick. I wanted her bare. I flipped her over, positioned her with her ass in the air, and pushed her shoulders down. This was how animals did it, and right now, I felt all lion. I debated on using a condom, but I grabbed one in the end. The thought of releasing my hot juices inside her took over any rational thought. I put the condom on and she was motionless, just waiting for me. Good girl. I ran my hand over her smooth back, all the way down to her ass. Her tight asshole clenching, begging for attention. I removed my hand, placing it between the slit in the front, slid it to her very wet hole, and glided my fingers in and out. She was hot and ready.
I kneeled behind her firm ass and nudged her entrance. I watched her face lying on its left side as I leisurely eased into her from behind, her tight pussy muscles squeezing me as I forced my way inside.
“Breathe, princess. Relax.” I readied myself for the pounding I was about to give her. “You are so pretty and smooth everywhere. It drives me crazy.” I ran a finger down her back while seated fully inside her, until I reached her tiny back hole. I would have her here one day. One day she would be so crazy horny that the idea of me possessing even that would sound so sexy and forbidden that she’d give it to me. It would be another first.
“Even this is perfect.” I swiped a finger over her clit to the base of my cock, and then pressed it into her back hole with the wetness I had gathered. It was remarkably tight, and she pushed against it before wiggling. It was definitely a possibility; my princess was up for anything. I laughed as I pulled my finger out. I was just introducing the idea; that’s all.
My hips began their slow motion as I held her steady, making the slide-in easy, but the pull-out a little more torturous. I slid my hands down her back as I fucked her slowly, leisurely, enjoying the total control. She could do nothing to break my deliberately gradual pace. Kneeled before me, she could only take whatever I wanted to give her.
And then, like a mind-reader, she opened that sweet little mouth of hers. It was truly eerie how she tapped into my thoughts. “Are you marking me?” Her words were breathless, and they called to the lion inside me. I laughed at the thought I had moments before, the thought that I would ever have total control around this sassy, horny princess. Her mouthy comments revved me up. She wanted marking. I’ll give her a marking. My movements became more vigorous, and my fingers dug into her hips. I fucked her like I had a message to send, an unspoken point to prove. I fucked her like no one else could ever fuck her, and her body squirmed beneath me. Her hands fisted in the sheets, her face buried under her shiny black hair, and she screamed the most pleasurable female animal sounds, which only fueled my drive. I consumed her, me, and she would never forget how much I owned her body. She came, gripping my cock in the process. Shit, this girl had muscles everywhere in her body, and she was utilizing the one tightly fisted around my dick. I slowed and savored the pull from inside her body.
“I can feel you contracting around me, and it’s all I can do not to come.” I gritted my teeth. “I want this moment to last forever. You feel so good. It’s like your body was designed for mine.” Her body relaxed again and I started my thrusting back up. It was my turn to take pleasure. The sound of wet sex and heavy breathing filled the air, and I pounded harder and harder, making sure to mark her like she wanted. I wanted to yell at her to come because I wanted her milking my cock at the precise moment I spilled my juices, but I wasn’t an on-command Dom, and I cursed myself for that. I found the Dom’s that yelled at their subs to come to be arrogant, and the whole scene seemed way too theatrical. I never attempted theatrics, and domination was all about me and my wants. I could tell when my sub was close and I would finish her, but I did it for me, never for the audience, and never for the sub. I was that selfish. Right now, I would love to order her to come hard, but I could hardly speak. My breath was heavy, my hip strokes rough and rigid. It didn’t matter, because like always, she must have been reading my mind. As I came, releasing my juices in hard spurts, she came with me, squeezing me in sporadic spasms. I rode it out, wishing for the first time I hadn’t worn a sperm cover. She was mine. I fell onto my side and pulled her into my sweaty body.
“Go back to sleep. I want to fall asleep inside you.” She obeyed, and I
laid there thinking about her hot body still wrapped around my cock. I was changing, and soon I wouldn’t recognize the man I was becoming. I repeated the sappy words that I had just said and shivered. I was already there, an unrecognizable pussy of a man who desperately wanted to buy a push gift for my pregnant woman. I slipped out of her when I knew she was sound asleep, and padded to the bathroom. My world was becoming blurry. All the lines I said I would never cross were all becoming plausible. My reverse, after-sex magnet was broken. I still wanted this girl, like she was now, simply a part of me. As important as the air I breathe, the water I drink, and the food I eat, she was part of my self-preservation.
I crossed the kitchen, flipping on the coffee maker. Bo trailed me, silently letting me know he was hungry. I paced outside, wondering if he could see the difference in me.
“Hey, Bo.” He sat and looked at me, tilting his head. “Do I appear different to you?” I poured the dog food into his bowl. He ignored my words and dove into his meal.
Why did I feel so exposed? I put my headphones in, blocking out my very noisy brain and made breakfast in a haze. When I finished, I turned around, startled to see a pair of blue eyes staring at me. I quickly jerked my hand to turn off my loud music. She stopped me and plucked an ear bud out of my ear, eyeing me and wordlessly asking to be invited into my bubble. She slipped the headphone in her right ear as the song finished. I studied her beautiful eyes. They were lighter than normal, and they held a glimmer of hope, hope for us. The next song started and I instantly reached for the skip button, knowing this song held bad memories for me. I am not sure why I punished myself by putting this song on my iPod. It always changed my mood immediately. She blocked me and I gazed at her, debating on making a stand or hiding the swirling emotions inside me.
“It’s all right. I like this song.” Her innocent eyes danced at me, and then she delicately placed her fingers through mine. “Sing to me.” I couldn’t. I wanted to sing to her, but not to this song. This song was full of death, and her eyes—damn her eyes. They were so full of life.
“How about we dance instead?” I pulled her tightly to me and moved as the lyrics to I Saw Red by Warrant played in my head. I lost Jacy the last time I saw red. I can remember that moment clearly—the bright red blood all over the pavement and her car, her blood soaked hair and clothes. I remembered the anger I felt for the person in the other car. It was pure rage directed at him for taking everything I had ever wanted in life away from me. I squeezed Katarina as the overwhelming urge to cry hit me like a brick. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled. What would I do if I lost her too? She was my match, my calming light. The song finished and I snatched the earphone from her ear and turned off the music. She could sense my irritable mood, but it didn’t prevent her from talking about the song and the meaning behind it. I avoided it, like an emotional girl after sex.
“Jason, have you ever seen red? The life-changing red, not the that-car-just-cut me-off-and-I-spilled-my-coffee red.” WTF. She must be tapped into my mind…again, and my heart, because she asked the heart-wrenching questions everyone else avoided. I just nodded my head, making it clear I wasn’t going to talk about it further. She dropped the topic and asked about my iPod. She complimented me on my song list, trying to lighten the mood, but that song always brought me to a frickin’ dark and lonely place.
I focused on eating and I felt her eyes on me, and then they were gone. She was eating too, and the sound of her humming was making me uncomfortably hard. I had to stop eating and watch. She was dipping her spoon in her yogurt, circling the colorful fruit with her spoon, and her eyes widened as she scooped up the appetizing mixture. Then she would close her eyes as the spoon entered her mouth, and her lips slowly wrapped around it. That was when the humming would start. She sucked my cock the same way, savoring it, humming in appreciation. I couldn’t hide my let’s-have-sex-right-now smile when she peered up at me.
“It’s very good, thank you.” I felt a strong ache in my heart when she beamed at me. I began eating, averting my eyes. She murmured on about her trip to Wal-Mart and her unhappy, cynical clerk, reminding me that she left the house again without telling me. I would have to figure out a way to burn it into her brain that it couldn’t happen anymore. She mentioned birth control and it snapped me out of my punishment planning. Why in the heck could Katarina be the only beautiful girl in the world that didn’t want to have my babies? Damn it, if that was all I could think about. She said condoms, and again my mind jerked to her voice. She said she thought I was large. I will always take care of the condoms, princess. I was proud of my Magnum condoms, and didn’t trust anything else. She held up a gift bag, and I chuckled at the thought of that medium size blue bag being full with an assortment of condoms.
“Let me guess, condoms.” She did a fake sarcastic laugh and it was full of teenage defiance, a side of her I didn’t get to see very often. She was sassy, and sometimes mouthy, but the head tilt to the side, followed by the pretend laugh and the defiant narrowing of the eyes was just different, more youthful. I wondered briefly what kind of teenager she’d been before Jared’s attack, or better yet, what she’d been like as a young child. I bet her brothers tugged on that long hair, and I bet she giggled a lot. The thought came to me fast like a flash—we would never have children if Katarina’s fear didn’t dissolve.
“Katarina, why don’t you want babies?” Her eyes widened in shock. She inhaled deeply and her eyes darted to the ceiling, blocking her face from all emotion. When her blues met mine again, I saw the empty, lifeless girl at the ice cream parlor. Her mouth moved, and a stone cold voice pierced her lips.
“I don’t know. I was the most awful child. I could never control my tongue. I hated how I never felt like I belonged. I think it’s kind of selfish, having kids. Jason, can we not talk about this? I just don’t want babies. Can we leave it at that?” No, I wanted to hash it out now. I bit my tongue and stifled my urge to scream it at her, waking her from her lifeless state. Ultimately, I dropped it, but it brought up so many more questions.
“How about your brother, Brian, will you tell me about him?” She glanced at the gift in my lap, and then back to my concerned eyes. Her expression changed as she twirled my words in her head, and then it darkened with sadness.
“Brian is about two years older than me. We were close when we were young. I snuck out a lot, and one time he saw me. I didn’t know, but he followed. I always hid my bike outside the gates of our house. He tried to catch me before I rode away, but I was pretty fast. He waited outside for me to come back home. When I finally did, my parents were home too. Only this time, he was punished for sneaking out because he was older and knew better. He stopped talking to me after that. We talked about music, and had an occasional food fight in the kitchen, but that was it. After the Jared incident, he completely changed. He called me after it happened, and wanted to make sure I still wanted to keep the secret. He sounded different then, broken. Brian told me he saw red that night. He said it still haunted him, and most of that night had disappeared from his mind. He blacked out. He told me he remembered talking with my deceased grandmother, he was hallucinating her, but nothing else. Months later, when I ran into him, he was working on a project with my grandfather, but he was icy cold. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. So,” she looked at the present again, and then her eyes snapped back to mine, “I stopped talking to him about music.” That story was everything. I swallowed past the huge lump in my throat. She was alone, all alone, and was punished. Her small, twelve-year-old body flickered in my memory, and I saw large black and purple marks on her tiny back and sides. I could hardly breathe. My head fell forward and my hands were completely shaking. I should have taken her that day. If I wasn’t so selfishly out for revenge, I could have taken her and dropped her off at the police station, or home to my parents.
Her hands tenderly rested on top of mine, her eyes gleaming with love and hope.
“It’s no big deal. I am just not as close to my family
as you are to yours. Now, open the damn gift!” And she was back, my feisty princess. I adored the glimpse of her impatient side, her hunger for something to feel.
My hand reached in the bag and I pulled out a small box the size of my hand. Her face held so much light, and pure childlike excitement. I couldn’t give a shit what the gift was, if her buying me presents made her feel like this, I would pretend to love it. I held it up and forced my eyes away from her heartwarming expression to face the box. It was a camera. I wasn’t sure I’d ever owned a camera. My mind went dirty for about ten seconds, thinking of the X-rated pictures I could take of her.
“What is this for?” I studied her excitement for a moment longer, giving her my mysterious please-let-me-take-naked-pictures-of-you grin, but she didn’t respond, just continued on about the camera.
“It’s a good little camera, with twelve megapixels, and it fits in your pocket. You can take it anywhere and make new memories. Then, you plug the camera into your computer—I can show you how—and you can have the pictures forever. I got you a small case too. It can even charge it in the car. I want to take you somewhere.” She was talking so fast her lips could hardly keep up with the words. I wondered if she thought I would reject the gift. Her hands began fidgeting, and she started nervously arranging the boxes of condoms on the counter. She must not normally be a gift giver…interesting.
“Thank you. I am looking forward to using it.” I pressed my body closer to hers, taking her mouth in a tender kiss. I leaned back a bit, allowing my lips to hover there, feeling the heat from her breath. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast, and without further hesitation, I kissed her full lips again, caressing each lip leisurely and lightly, wanting her to feel every gentle touch I had, knowing I didn’t have many.
I hopped off my stool, grabbed her dish along with my own, and placed both in the sink. “I will get ready then, unless you want to do something else?” I lifted my brows, insinuating sex, of course. The truth was, I could stay here and have sex with this beauty all frickin’ day.
Mister Distraction Page 22