by Edith DuBois
Jeremiah turned around and shoved him hard. “This is all your fault, you prick.”
Johnny swatted his brother’s hands away as he stumbled backward. “You think that if there was anything I could have done to keep her here, I wouldn’t have done it?”
“Why the hell did you stay in bear form?” Jeremiah came at him. “You knew she was in there. You knew there was a chance she’d come outside. You should have stayed far away from her.” Jeremiah went in to tackle him, but Johnny dodged. They grappled with each other as Jeremiah slung questions at him. “If you hadn’t mated her, she wouldn’t feel the need to leave. If you’d have kept your dick in your pants for one goddamn second, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.”
Usually at this point, James would jump between them and break them apart, but Johnny saw his older brother out of the corner of his eye. He looked at them, shook his head, and kept on walking.
While his attention was diverted, Jeremiah cuffed him on the chin.
“Get off me,” Johnny roared, shoving at Jeremiah and causing him to fall back a bit. He rubbed his chin and glared at his brother, who was panting and glaring at him as well. “Why do you care? You’re not even mated to her.”
He had less than a second to react before Jeremiah barreled into him full force. Johnny flew back and fell onto the ground, his breath knocked out of his lungs for a moment. As soon as he sucked in a fresh burst of oxygen, though, he was fighting. He and Jeremiah swung at each other, and Johnny didn’t concern himself with holding back. Jeremiah sure as hell didn’t either.
He caught a punch to his ribs while delivering a few solid blows to Jeremiah’s stomach. “You bastard!” Jeremiah kept shouting at him as they struggled against one another. Johnny felt his muscles vibrating, and he bit back the impulse to shift. He could never lose control of his bear, especially not while grappling with his brother, but he certainly wanted to.
Jeremiah roared when Johnny got in a good elbow to the back. He felt Jeremiah’s body begin the telltale shake. He was pinned under his brother, though, and couldn’t wriggle away. Jeremiah’s black eyes were full of wild fury and the struggle not to shift. He had his arm across Johnny’s throat, pressing harder as his control slipped further away.
“Damn it, Jeremiah, get ahold of yourself,” James yelled, coming up from behind and grabbing Jeremiah’s shirt. He ripped him off Johnny and slung him away. Johnny choked as his throat was freed, and James offered his hand, helping him up from the ground.
He turned to Jeremiah to give him shit for what had almost happened, but Jeremiah was sprawled out on his back and looking up at the trees.
“What the hell are you doing?” Johnny asked.
Jeremiah didn’t answer.
“Come on,” James said, thrusting his hand in Jeremiah’s face. “If we don’t hurry, Marina’s gonna beat us there and take the compound before we have a chance to see her. I don’t know how fast that shit is gonna work, so we need to get going.”
Jeremiah swatted at James’s hand.
“Man, quit. We’re not leaving you.”
“Go on, damn it. Just leave me here and go on.”
“Get your ass up,” Johnny said, brushing leaves and dirt off his own ass. “If you think we’re leaving you here, you’re one dumb son of a bitch.”
Jeremiah shook his head. “I can’t face her. There’s no telling what I’d do.”
“What? You mean like cry like the little baby you’re being right now?”
Jeremiah flipped him off.
“You know that’s just your ego talking. And, come on, we’re your brothers. We wouldn’t laugh if you had to set loose a few tears. Men gotta cry, too, sometimes. Ain’t no shame in that, brother.”
“Why don’t you take your ‘brother’ and shove it up your ass? I said leave me alone.”
“James, this is a rare display. We need to really look our fill. This is Jeremiah Greenwood circa ’95.”
“I know exactly what you’re talking about. When Jill Sherman wouldn’t let him take her to the Honey Harvest Hoedown?”
“That’s exactly what this reminds me of.”
Jeremiah glared over at them. “How can you bastards joke about this? She’s supposed to be your mate, and you don’t even care.”
Johnny felt his grin melt and dissolve and then droop into a frown. “That’s not true, and you know it.”
“Then why don’t you two frolic along and leave me to my moroseness, as you so call it. I’m sorry I can’t joke about this. I’m sorry I don’t want one last good-bye. She’s not even my mate. At least you two got to have her for a little bit. She’s not mine. I don’t have a place there. So just go the fuck on.” He turned his face away from them. “I need to be alone.”
Johnny’s initial response was to nudge his brother none too gently with the toe of his boot and call him a pussy and generally goad him into an angry, manly response. But, well, looking at his brother all pathetic and sad on the ground, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“Look,” Johnny said, “this isn’t going to be easy. Not for me, not for James, and not for you.” He looked at his older brother and then back at Jeremiah. “And I don’t know about you two jerks, but as much as I’m not looking forward to this encounter, I sure as hell don’t want to do it without the both of you standing right there with me.”
“Besides,” James said, “even if Marina isn’t your mate, you belong there.”
“No I don’t.” Jeremiah clenched his eyes closed.
“Yes, you do. You belong there because you’re our brother and you belong with us.”
Jeremiah sucked in a deep breath and after a moment or two opened his eyes again. Johnny offered his hand at the same time James did. Jeremiah took their hands, and they heaved him up together.
After he had brushed himself off, Johnny asked, “Now that we’ve made it through your emo fest, can we be on our merry way?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
They began walking toward Bo’s house again.
“Hey, Johnny?” Jeremiah asked a few moments later.
“Yeah?”
“What’s an emo fest?”
Chapter Sixteen
Marina blew on the steaming cup of tea Bo had given her. She took a sip and closed her eyes, wondering how he managed to make such a perfect cup. It tasted like rose blossoms and lavender and honey but with just a hint of spice. Maybe nutmeg? Male voices stretched across the yard and fell into her ears, causing her eyes to snap open.
Three beautiful men walked toward the porch, shoving and joking with each other.
“I don’t have middle child syndrome,” Jeremiah said, shoving Johnny.
“Okay, okay, maybe you don’t, but then how do you explain your propensity for long, brooding walks by the lakeshore?”
“Have you noticed he likes them even more when it’s foggy?” James asked.
“Ass-hats. The both of you.” Jeremiah shoved away from his brothers, his graceful, muscled form striding out in front of them. Finally, he looked up at the porch and noticed her watching. He froze, looking deep into her eyes. She saw everything there. Every hurt, every anger, every fury, every despair, yet he was still there looking at her. Still there hoping for her to change her mind.
She looked down at her tea and blew, needing a moment to compose her thoughts. Jeremiah’s gaze had sent them tumbling around in her brain. It wasn’t until he stomped up the porch that she realized he was coming after her. She only had time to gasp before he ripped the cup out of her hands and threw it across the yard.
“Hey!”
“You weren’t even gonna wait for us to get here? You weren’t gonna say good-bye? You are cold, Marina. A cold and heartless woman!”
“Jeremiah, it wasn’t—”
“We love you, goddamn it.” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her, yanking her off Bo’s bench. “Why don’t you feel it? Why don’t you want it?”
“Jeremiah Greenwood!” Bo spoke harshly from the doorway, his raspy voice cutting thr
ough the air. “Get your hands off her.” Jeremiah stopped shaking her but didn’t let her go. “You’re acting a damn fool, boy.”
James and Johnny had reached the porch. “What is it? What’s going on?”
Jeremiah released her and turned away, throwing his hands up. “We’re too late. She already drank the compound.” His voice was tight and gruff.
“What?” Johnny asked, blinking and then turning to look at Marina. “What do you mean?”
“I mean she drank the fucking compound. She’s outta here. No more Marina. The end. Good-bye.”
Marina rolled her eyes. “If you would have asked me, Jeremiah Greenwood, instead of storming up here like the ursine creature that you are, you would have known I was drinking tea.”
He looked out to her forlorn mug, overturned and nestled into the grass, and then looked back at her. “That was tea?”
She ran her hand through her hair and nodded, surprised that her hands were shaking so bad. “And it was very delicious tea at that.”
“Whoops.” She saw a bit of rosiness appear through his beard.
Offering him a small smile, she shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s…” She looked at all three of them. Their faces were drawn, and she could see they were hanging on to every word. How was she ever going to do this with them here? “It’s understandable,” she whispered.
“On that note,” Bo said in a far-too-cheery voice, “shall we get started? No point in loitering about on my porch.”
“Bo,” James said, not looking away from Marina, “may we have a few minutes alone with our mate?”
Marina felt her heart twist at the term, but Bo nodded. “Mind you, I’ll be watching from that window.” He pointed to one a little ways down the porch. “If she shows even the smallest sign of distress, I’m coming out and we’re going ahead. Got it?”
James offered a terse nod, and then Bo went inside, the screen door slamming behind him. After he had closed the front door, James took her hand and led her to the steps. “Stand here, please,” he said, indicating the bottom step. After she had done so, the three men stood in the yard in front of her—James on the left, Jeremiah in the middle, and Johnny on the right.
“We’ve each thought long and hard about what we wanted to say to you this morning,” James said. “At first, I said we should make a flow chart and present you with all kinds of graphs and statistics about why it would be better for you to stay with us.”
“Then I thought we should just kidnap you again,” Jeremiah said, and she was surprised to see him grinning. “But we all know how wonderfully that has turned out.”
“And I thought it would be a good idea to kidnap Bo,” Johnny said. “I figured if we could find this compound he’s brewing and throw it in the lake, that would put an end to all this nonsense. But then we realized that wouldn’t work ’cause we all know Bo would just use his Shoshone hoodoo to kick our asses.”
Marina laughed but then covered her mouth, afraid she would offend them. Jeremiah stepped forward and pulled her hand away.
“Don’t be afraid of your own laughter.” His hands, so rough and powerful before, were tender and caring. He brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. “Marina, don’t ever be afraid of that. We saw how upset you were when you mated with first Johnny and then James. We would never intentionally hurt you, but we’d gotten a taste of what it could be like to spend our lives with you. And honestly, the thought of losing you is always gonna make my gut twist with pain. You’re not something we can easily let go of. But we saw you last night. Onstage, Marina, you are the most magnificent creature I and my brothers have ever seen. It’s obvious you belong there, and we sorta realized that we can’t force you away from something that is such a part of you, a part of what makes you so beautiful.”
He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss on her lips and then kissed her eyes, kissed away the moisture there. “So really there was only one thing to say to you, only one thing that means anything.”
She quickly wiped at her eyes. “What’s that?”
“You don’t know?” he asked, a gleam in his dark eyes.
She shook her head.
He leaned in, pressing his cheek to hers so that his lips brushed against her ear. “I love you, Marina.”
When he stepped back, Johnny pressed closed to her other ear. “I love you.” Then he kissed her sweet and slow. She relished his flavor, his movement, his breath, and then he was gone. James approached but stopped in front of her, blocking her view of the other two. He held her face in his hands and mouthed those same three words.
Then he kissed her. Where Johnny’s kiss was slow and warm and welcoming, his was desperate and demanding. He sucked her tongue into his mouth and rolled his around it. He held her face tight between his palms and pulled raw, tumultuous emotion out of her. She breathed in deep, and the wanting washed through her body. Everything she’d been trying to hold back was released, and she felt herself flailing helplessly in his wild, stormy kiss.
She broke away, gasping, and fled. She ripped open the screen door and then tumbled into Bo’s house. “Bo!” she cried out. “Bo, I need the compound! Give me the compound.”
“Marina, are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice breaking. “I just…I need it right now. I can’t wait any longer.”
“Marina, hold on. I think you should—”
“Give me the compound!” she screamed, jutting her hand out to him, palm up.
Bo stared at her for a long moment and then nodded. He retreated into his kitchen for a moment and then returned. Marina had left her hand out, and in it he placed a small glass vial. It was a lot smaller than she thought it would be. The liquid inside was clear. It sparkled as the morning light danced across it from the window.
“This is it?”
Bo nodded.
“How long will I have before…”
“About an hour.”
She heard a commotion out on the porch. “Fuck this! I’m not waiting out here!” Then the front door was ripped open. Jeremiah burst through, followed closely by his brothers. They all three began shouting, begging her to wait a day or two or to give them one more chance or to just hold on one goddamn minute.
“Quiet!” Bo roared over their clamoring voices. “You three sound like a pack of rabid coyotes.” They all three looked at Bo with mouths open in mid yell. Slowly, their mouths closed and they nodded.
“Sorry, Bo,” James muttered.
“Now I told you from the beginning that this was gonna be Marina’s choice. I gave you two weeks with her. If she hasn’t changed her mind by now, then it is her prerogative to take the compound. She knows exactly what she’ll be leaving behind if she drinks it, and she knows exactly what she stands to gain by staying.” Marina thought that statement sounded a little loaded, but she let it go when Bo nodded at her. “Go ahead, Marina.”
She looked at the three of them but shook her head. “I can’t do this in front of you three.” She shoved through them and ran out the door. She flew down the steps and ran across the clearing in front of Bo’s house. She didn’t stop until she’d gone well into the woods, far enough to be unseen from Bo’s front porch. Then she plopped onto the ground.
She pulled the cork out of the vial and took a delicate whiff of the liquid. Its sharp, acrid smell burned her nostrils, and she jerked away from it. Sniffing with more caution, she could detect a small hint of sweetness amongst its pungent odor, but it wasn’t enough to make her want to toss it back. She imagined, with a smell like that, it was gonna take a considerable amount of willpower to get it down her throat.
She put the vial to her lips.
A vision of James’s face sprang into her mind. She realized it was a memory. It was some small captured moment burned into the flesh of her mind. He’d turned toward her, and the sun had caught him at just the right angle. It shone across his face and into his eyes and all through his hair. He was golden and brilliant and perfect. Then he’d caught her looking at him, and
his mouth broke into a wide grin. She remembered feeling something sharp rip through her at that moment. She’d reached out and touched him then, needing to confirm that he was real, that he was flesh and blood and man. Her fingers met his cheek, and his warmth melded into hers. The memory was so strong, she almost felt as if she could touch him now if she would just reach out.
Taking the vial away from her mouth, her mind began to flood her with other memories, other moments and pictures of James and Johnny and Jeremiah, each one caught and held like tiny feathers in her head unbeknownst to Marina’s conscious self.
If she drank the compound, those tiny moments in her mind would be all she had left of them.
If she didn’t drink the compound, she would never go on tour again, never record another album on a major label, never feel the warm embrace of stadium lights while performing onstage.
Her mind threw something else at her. She remembered her conversation with Jeffrey that morning. She knew exactly what she would be going back to. She would be going back to everything that had driven her to Savage Valley in the first place.
She tried to bring the vial to her lips again, but her hand wouldn’t do it.
Tears began falling down her face.
She couldn’t leave them. She couldn’t.
Scrambling to her feet, she began running. She ran back through the forest toward Bo’s small wooden house. When she broke into the clearing, she began shouting.
“James!” she shouted, sobbing and waving at the house. “Jeremiah! Johnny!”
Jeremiah came out of the house first. She could see the confusion on his face.
“I couldn’t do it!” she cried, still running toward him. “I couldn’t drink it!”
He flew down the porch. His smile was glorious, and when she was near enough, she leapt into his arms. Their bodies slammed into each other, but she didn’t care. She only wanted to be held in those strong arms of his. She wrapped her legs around him and sobbed into his shoulder, clenching her eyes and gasping as her body shook against his.
He whispered her name over and over again, pressing soft, warm kisses into her hair and neck. When James and Johnny reached them, she pulled back slightly to look into Jeremiah’s eyes. He didn’t put her down but used one hand to wipe at her tears.