by Andrew Grey
“How long will you be away?” Beau asked, then took a small bite of his salad, the sweet of the berries and tang of the dressing mixing to perfection.
“A few weeks.” Dante smiled. “If you could get away, I’d take you with me. Have you seen Paris and London?”
“No. I haven’t traveled a great deal. Not since….” He looked down.
“The attack?”
“Yeah. My dad blamed himself for what happened, and he had some difficult times after that. He drank more than he should and tried to make it up to me. Not that it was his fault. I know that, but I blamed him for a bit too, and that hurt him pretty badly. It took both of us a while to figure things out, but by then I think things had changed between us forever.” Beau set down his fork. “But I was wrong. It wasn’t my dad’s fault. He didn’t somehow convince the bear to attack me. It happened.”
“What was different afterward?” Dante asked after swallowing, and Beau hesitated. It was hard putting things into words that others would understand.
“You mean after we’d both realized it wasn’t his fault?” Beau asked, and Dante nodded. “Time. Lots of wasted time. I was eighteen and could finally see things somewhat clearly. My dad and mom had spent much of what they had on doctors and therapists to help me build up my strength. The injuries on the outside are what can be seen, but the infection had done more damage. Once I let go of all the hurt and hate that I’d let fester, I wasn’t the same person, and neither was he. I look back on it now and realize it was such a waste.”
“Your father is still alive, isn’t he?”
“Yes. And we have a better relationship now.” Beau sighed. “Let’s talk about happier things, okay?” He turned to look out the window and could see the bay in the distance. It was smooth, and the sun sparkled off the water.
“Yes.” Dante ate a little faster. “My dad used to keep a boat moored here, and we’d go out fishing sometimes. Mostly we’d just ride. He loved going fast, the sensation of speed. It was never something I liked. But sometimes it was such fun, with the bay quiet, and when he’d open up that engine, it felt like we were flying across the water.”
“Before the accident, my family was hugely into the outdoors. I told you about hunting, but we used to camp and went hiking a lot. For one vacation we rented a cabin at a lake, and it came with a small boat that had a motor on it. Dad let me drive it, and we went all around that lake.” Beau smiled and turned away to wipe his eyes. “I think it was that summer that things between him and me really started to heal.” He used his napkin to wipe his mouth and nearly gasped at the naked pain in Dante’s eyes. Beau had gotten a second chance with his father once he’d allowed himself to let go of the blame. Dante had never gotten that kind of second chance, and Beau suspected that was what he was seeing at the moment. “Somehow we always seem to circle around to the same things.” He needed to lighten the mood. Beau smiled as the darkness eased from Dante’s eyes.
“What do you suggest?”
“Let me see. I like long walks on the beach, hiking in the woods, being on the water—though I burn really fast so I have to wear a gallon of sunscreen to be out there—and I love a good cheeseburger that’s dripping with onions.” Beau grinned. “If I was to try online dating, that would be my profile.”
“You’re goofy,” Dante told him, but his lips curled upward, and that was the reaction Beau had been going for. “Okay. Let me think. If I was to go for online dating… I like traveling and seeing new things, food of all kinds. I’m really experimental.” Dante leaned forward. “I like quiet evenings at home, reading, a warm fire in the winter, and I’d really like to get a dog.” He sighed. “If I was being honest, I always hoped I’d be able to have children and a big family.” Now he was getting back into dangerous territory.
“That’s not a surprise, with the way the kids at the Center reacted to you. Would you come back in once you get back from your trip?” Beau finished his salad, and the server took the dishes, then brought their main dishes, which were works of art on a plate, the scent of heaven wafting through the air.
“I definitely will.” There was the smile that could light up a room, and it sent the surge of heat racing through Beau that it always did. He was becoming addicted to those smiles, and he somehow needed to break that habit. Dante was carrying so much hurt and pain around with him that getting his hopes up was a surefire way to get himself hurt. But Beau hadn’t figured out how to do that.
“What else?” Beau took his first bite, groaning in near total delight. He looked up from his food as Dante shuddered, and Beau realized Dante hadn’t moved to start eating.
“You shouldn’t make sounds like that,” Dante whispered. “They make me want things I know I shouldn’t have.”
“Why not?” Beau challenged, lifting his eyebrows. “You wear your past around you like an anchor, and I know you don’t think you can let it go, but you’re the only one who can. No one else can take that away or let you live your life going forward.”
“No one is going to let go of the past. Not in St. Giles.”
Beau didn’t argue and took another bite, groaning just a little louder. He was teasing Dante, and it seemed to be working. He gaped as Beau deliberately lifted another morsel of fish to his lips, biting it slowly, watching as tiny beads of sweat broke out on Dante’s forehead. That was beautiful and a bit of a shock to Beau. Dante really liked him, and Beau’s heart did a little jump of joy.
“Man, you’re being mean, you know that?”
Beau swallowed and took another bite. “Or am I being beastly?”
Dante snorted. “That was really bad….” His words ended in a groan as Beau gently licked the back of his fork. “What are you doing?”
“You act like nothing affects you. In a crowd, you stand away like you’re afraid you’ll hurt someone. Most of the time you’re afraid to go out, and you’ve pretty much cut yourself off.” Beau smiled. “To top all that off, you and I have one thing in common—neither of us ever thought we’d find love. Am I right?”
“Yeah.” Dante stilled his hand as Beau reached for another bite of fish. “Do you have a point?”
“I think it’s ironic, and kind of hot, that you’re going crazy watching me eat.” Beau grinned. It sure warmed his heart.
“So what do you want me to say?” Dante leaned over the table. “That I think about you most nights and find it hard to go to sleep and end up picturing your eyes? When I’m supposed to be working, I can’t concentrate and wonder what your lips taste like? Is that what you want me to say?”
Beau swallowed hard, and it had nothing at all to do with the food. “What I want from you is the truth and for you to stop living in the past. You deserve to be loved, just the same as everyone else.”
Dante sat back in his seat. “I’m not sure if that’s true. I believe that our actions have consequences, and if that’s true, then maybe the result of my actions should be that I end up alone. Maybe that’s my punishment.” He returned to his meal, eating in silence.
Beau thought the silence should bother him, but it didn’t, and the meal was so amazingly flavorful that his own plate pulled his attention. “Someday you’re going to have to tell me what it is that’s got itself wrapped so tightly around you.” Beau kept his voice as gentle as possible.
“What if I’m never ready?” Dante took a final bite and set down his fork on his nearly empty plate.
“Then that’s something you’re going to have to decide about. You can’t have your secrets and what you’re so afraid of as well as love and lifelong companionship. Secrets have a way of growing and festering like a wound.” Beau waved a hand in the air, considering his next words. “Think about some of those things you said you wanted. You can’t do them alone, you know. So what’s more important to you, holding on to the past or trying to move forward? I know what those answers are for me, but I can’t answer them for you. Only you can do that.” He sat back as the server cleared the dishes and placed a dessert menu in front of
each of them.
“Would either of you like any coffee?”
“No, thank you,” Beau answered, then waited while Dante declined as well. “Are you having dessert?” Beau loved sweets, and the menu appeared completely decadent, with crème brûlée, a mint and chocolate creation that the next table seemed to be enjoying, and a strawberry and vanilla parfait that had his stomach rumbling even though he’d just eaten a rather large dinner.
“I’m not sure. We could share one.”
“The mint one?” Beau asked, and Dante’s eyes broadened and he inclined his head just a little. When the server returned, Dante placed their order, with two spoons, and soon a beautiful plate with a chocolate cylinder filled with mint mousse and whipped cream was set between them on the table. The gentle scent hinted at the lusciousness to come. Beau didn’t want to be the first to break the artistry on a plate. Dante, thankfully, took the first bite, and then he had one.
“I told you about those sounds.” The touch of growl in Dante’s voice sent a shiver through him.
“But it’s so good.”
“And if you do that teasing thing with your spoon again, I’m not going to be able to restrain myself, and I don’t think the restaurant would welcome us back if….” Dante let the repercussions hang in the air, and Beau’s imagination went into overdrive. Dante’s eyes darkened even more, and Beau wondered what kind of kettle of fish he’d just opened. A zing of arousal raced through him, followed by caution. He’d been through this before, and that memory acted like a wet blanket.
Dante might have been flirting with him, but that was all it was likely to be, no matter what his bedroom eyes screamed at him. Once Dante accepted who he was and let go of his past, he could have any guy he wanted at any time, and he wasn’t going to want… well, once he fully saw what was under Beau’s shirt, he wasn’t likely to stick around. Hell, he’d already found out that very little killed the mood faster than his body once he took off his shirt.
“Dante.” He tried to add a note of caution, but Dante seemed to take it completely differently. He took another bite of the dessert, and it must have been Dante’s turn to tease, the tip of his tongue making an appearance, and Beau couldn’t help wondering what Dante could do with it if he decided to take the chance.
Oh hell… two can play this game.
Beau teased right back until he heard a female voice from the next table.
“I’ll have what they’re having.”
He tried to suppress his chuckle and saw Dante doing the same. Then he turned and winked at her. The lady appeared to be in her sixties, with beautifully coiffed hair and a glint in her eye that was adorable. She reminded Beau of his own grandmother, who had passed away when he was a teenager.
“That’ll teach you,” Beau told Dante.
“I wasn’t the one who started it, but I could finish it.”
Beau leaned over the table once again, keeping his voice low. “I dare you.” He was feeling bold. After all, what did he really have to lose? Beau already knew what rejection felt like, and if Dante couldn’t take it, then….
“What are you thinking about? It must be really naughty.” Dante’s voice wrapped around Beau like a pair of strong, sweaty arms around his bare chest.
Beau shrugged. He had no intention of mentioning that if anyone could take the way he looked, it would be the Beast of St. Giles, and at the moment, Beau was up for some of the Beast. It had been a long time since anyone had made his heart race faster and faster the way Dante did. So if the opportunity presented itself, he’d be a fool to pass it up.
He took the last bite of dessert, still gazing at Dante, who stared back with the heat of a volcano. Suddenly the air-conditioned restaurant seemed hot as the very depths of hell. The server brought the check, and Dante paid the bill before Beau could ask about his share. Then they were on their feet and walking out into the night air, pervaded with the scent of water.
“Do you want to take a walk?” Dante asked, and to Beau’s surprise and delight, he took his hand, guiding him down the main street of town. Most of the small tourist shops were closed, but their windows glittered with displays of glass and estate jewelry, even amber. “The waterfront is this way.”
They walked down the wooden walkway toward the docks but stopped as a huge yacht slowly glided out toward the bay. “I’d love to spend time on something like that. Not that I ever will, but could you imagine leaving port, heading down the coast in that kind of luxury, and ending up on some tropical island with palm trees, sand, sun, and nothing to do but make love all day and…?” Beau stopped as he realized he was going on like an idiot. He stood still as the water lapped at the pilings under the dock.
The last of the sunshine faded fast as they watched, with more and more lights flicking on, glinting and dancing on the water. Boats moved in and out, their lights like red and green lanterns gliding through the darkness.
“This is beautiful,” Beau breathed, and Dante squeezed his hand. He’d grown quiet, and Beau was a little concerned until the cool breeze blew in off the water and Dante shifted behind him, wrapping Beau in his arms. An arctic gale wasn’t going to chill him as long as Dante did that.
“Yes, it is.”
Beau angled his head and shoulders and saw Dante looking at him rather than the view all around them.
“Hey, Beast!” The call popped the bubble of contentment around them. “Yeah, I’m talking to you.”
Beau groaned as Dante pulled away. They both turned as Harper, the man from the restaurant, charged toward them.
“That’s enough!” Beau snapped. “I’ve had it with people using that name! I don’t know what happened with your sister, but this is not the time or the place.” He curled his lips at the strong sharpness of alcohol that leeched from Harper’s pores. “Go home and sleep it off before you do something you’ll regret.” Beau took two steps forward, hands on his hips. “I mean it.” He’d had to deal with more than one drunk person in his career.
“But he….” Harper’s resolve weakened, and some sort of sense seemed to percolate through his alcoholic haze.
“It doesn’t matter. I will call the police, and then you’ll be arrested and that will be more trouble.” Beau held Harper’s rummy gaze for as long as he could. “Go on home,” he added more gently. “You need to get some sleep anyway. It’s all you really want right now, isn’t it?”
Harper nodded and yawned.
“Go on and walk home.” Beau continued making himself appear as large as possible, and the last of the fight in Harper slipped away. He turned and lumbered off into the night. “Well, that was certainly interesting.”
“Holy crap,” Dante breathed from behind him. “Do you have Jedi powers or are you the drunk whisperer?”
“Neither. The guy is basically a coward. There was no real fight in his eyes, and as soon as I called him on it, he folded like a house of cards. Once he did, all I needed to do was remind him of what his body wanted anyway. Alcohol is a depressant. His system was slowing down, and once I planted the idea, it was going to take root pretty quickly.”
“I see.”
“Besides, no matter what anyone thinks of you or what you might have done, calling people names is no way to behave. He should know better. Calling others names is just a way of trying to put yourself above someone else. No one gets to do that. I don’t allow it in the Center or any of my sessions, and I certainly won’t let some drunk get away with it, no matter who he is.” Beau breathed deeply as the adrenaline-induced racing of his heart subsided.
“I see.” Dante grinned. “So you’ll be my protector.”
“Not that you need one.” As his mind cleared, he realized how dumb he’d probably looked. Dante could certainly take care of himself. After all, he was definitely bigger and could stand up for himself. It was just that the man’s tone had gotten to Beau in a way that set him off.
“It’s been a long time since anyone stood up for me.” Dante seemed genuinely shocked.
“
Then it’s about fucking time,” Beau said with more vehemence than he initially intended. He turned back toward the water, letting its calmness work its way into him once again.
“Are you ready to go?” Dante asked, and when Beau nodded, he stepped away. Beau heard him call Juan and then they walked up to the drive where the limousine pulled up. They climbed inside, and it glided away and back toward St. Giles.
Chapter 5
BEAU SAT quietly in his seat while Dante did the same, glancing at Beau every few seconds. Dang, he was a real spitfire. The energy and courage it took to stand up to Harper had been unexpected. What bothered Dante was how quiet Beau had gotten. He wasn’t sure what to do to make him more comfortable. Maybe he needed a few minutes to get his thoughts together? Dante was at a loss, to say the least.
“We should be in St. Giles soon.” It was lame, but he needed to break the silence.
Beau turned to face him, and the heat that had simmered and spiked all evening took a leap of epic proportions. “If I overstepped—”
“You have got to be kidding.” The words tumbled out of Dante’s mouth. “You were magnificent, eyes blazing. You reminded me of one of those Scottish warriors charging into the guns, come hell or high water. It was pretty amazing.”
Dante leaned forward to speak briefly with Juan and then sat back once again, unable to keep from watching Beau and the way he worried his lower lip with his teeth. God, he was adorable, and knowing there was a tiger inside made Beau even hotter. The things Dante wanted at that very moment he knew he shouldn’t contemplate, but the pull was too great. He leaned in, and when Beau met his gaze, Dante guided him closer, erasing the distance between them.
As soon as Beau’s lips touched his again, something inside Dante’s brain snapped. Years of denial and the realization that Beau was exactly what he’d been missing all that time sent a wave of desire running through him with the force of a racehorse. The car bumped over the road, but instead of breaking them apart, Dante held Beau tighter. He felt perfect in his arms, fitting him as though Beau were made to settle against his chest. Dante deepened the kiss, his tongue dueling with Beau’s, sending more and faster spikes of heat surging through him.