by Willa Blair
“Shona, can ye walk with me? I’d like to ask ye some questions.”
Her head moved from side to side, slowly, as if she was still in great pain. “I dinna think so.”
“Verra well, I’ll join ye here.” He settled beside her after a quick glance around to ensure no one remained in earshot. “If we keep our voices down, no one will hear what we say,” he added as he noticed her frown.
“Do we have secrets to share?” Her gaze seemed focused on the ruined hall.
“I dinna ken. Do we? What are ye doing when ye move yer hands? Dinna tell me ye are praying. I willna believe ye.”
She paled, but her voice sounded steady when she replied, “Naught. I’m nervous, ’tis all.”
Angus studied her. She would not meet his gaze, so he had to conclude she hid something. “Lass, ye need no’ fear me. Brodric sent for the healer, Aileana, who may be able to heal grievous wounds with her touch. I ken there are some who say they can do…things…others cannae.” And sometimes, they could not do what they claimed. The thought rose out of habit, and Angus pushed it aside.
Shona still would not look at him. The lass was stubborn, he’d give her that. Very well, then. He pitched his voice even lower and continued. “Did ye really move that beam off me? When we were still trapped, I thought perhaps because ye had been hit on the head, ye were daft to claim such a feat, but something…I did hear the men nearby when it moved, but it didna seem they were that close.” He took her hand, surprised when she flinched. “I dinna ken whether to believe ye or think ye daft.”
She kept silent, so Angus plunged ahead. “The more I’ve thought about it, and the more I’ve thought about Aileana and what ’tis said she can do, I’ve come to believe in ye.” Angus wanted to grab her chin, to force her to meet his gaze, to see the effect his words were having, but he knew he’d only cause her more pain, so he tried again with his words to break through to her. “I ken ye’ve been helping the searchers lift and move the heavy logs and stones to find other victims underneath. Could ye have moved some of the people so the searchers could reach them more quickly?”
“Nay, no’ that.”
Finally, a reaction. “No’ what?”
She sighed and her shoulders slumped. “I dare no’ move the people. They might be hurt in ways I canna ken. And I’ve only been able to help a little. I’ve never lifted anything so heavy as the stones, or the tree that fell on Colin. The best I couldha done, had I been there, was to try to push it aside, to miss him, as I pushed aside another branch that nearly fell on the men standing around him. But I did roll the beam off ye. ’Twas the most weight I’ve ever moved, but I had to save ye. I couldna let ye drown.”
“Well then.” Angus sucked in a breath, his skin tingling at her admission.
“Ye canna tell anyone.”
“Why no’?” Angus suddenly had the sinking feeling there was much Shona was not saying. Why wouldn’t she meet his gaze?
“They’ll turn me out, like my village did.”
“We are no’ the same as yer village, lass.” His heart broke for her, for what she’d been through. With his other hand, he stroked her cheek.
She jerked and knocked her head back against the tree stump, grimaced and cried out with pain.
Suddenly, Angus knew. He gripped her shoulders and pulled her away from the stump, unsurprised she kept her eyes tightly closed. “Did I startle ye? I’m sorry.” She couldn’t see. Something had happened in the collapse to steal her sight. And she was afraid to tell him. Angus? Or the laird?
“My head pounds like a war drum, ’tis all.”
Angus glanced around, looking for the clan’s healer. “Has Craig seen ye?” Not that Craig could do anything for her.
“Nay. And dinna bother him. I’m sure he’s busy.”
Angus located the man, kneeling over another patient. Indeed, he was busy. “Then Aileana will see to ye.” He wondered how much to say to her. It might not be good for her to know he’d realized she could not see. If she took comfort in keeping the secret, he’d let her, at least until Aileana arrived and did everything she could to heal Shona.
“Nay! There are others who need greater care.”
After seeing the man with the crushed leg, Angus could not argue that point. But this was Shona, and she needed help only Aileana could give. He just hoped the Lathans arrived soon.
Chapter Eight
Shona hid her face in her hands, afraid Angus would see the tears gathering there. Her head still hurt something fierce. Worse was the darkness. If the darkness was permanent, she would hope to die. But that would be a sin. And since Angus had expressed his belief in her ability, hope flared in her breast for the first time in her life. What she could do might be accepted by the people around her, and by the laird, no less. With his support, she might learn to do more with her talent, and to help even more with the rebuilding. If she could only see! How long would it take him to figure out she could not?
She jumped again when he laid his hand over hers and pulled them away from her face. A tear trickled down her cheek, and he wiped it away with his thumb. Shona’s heart melted at the simple, caring gesture.
“Ye are tired, lass, from helping the rescuers.”
Her heart lifted. In those few words lay a truth more beautiful than she could have imagined. He did believe her!
“And ye are hurt, too. I would take ye away from here, but the healer should arrive soon and I want her to see to ye first.” He leaned in closer. Shona could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin. Then he surprised her, pulling her onto his lap and wrapping her in his arms. “Lean on me and rest,” he told her. “I’ll keep ye warm while we wait.”
She tried to straighten up but his arms held her fast. “Ye must have better things to do than sit with me,” she objected.
“No’ at the moment, nay.”
“But yer clan…”
“Our healer is seeing to those he can help. The work to clear the hall and start the rebuilding will wait until tomorrow. Everyone else is resting. Ye may, too. I’ll keep ye safe.”
Shona gave in and laid her head on Angus’s well-muscled shoulder, grateful, but still troubled. He wanted her, despite her revelation about her talent. She could not believe her good fortune. But the loss of her sight lay in heavy balance against the hope filling her. What if the blindness was permanent? She’d be of no use to him. How could she do what a clan’s lady must when she had to be led around by others?
Tears she could not stop finally began to fall. Angus shifted her closer to him and wrapped his arms more tightly around her, holding her while she gave in to her fears. When her storm of sobbing passed, she stilled, grateful he cared enough to comfort her and wipe away her tears.
Would he still care when he found out she could not see?
****
The Lathans’ arrival caused a stir, tired cheers welcoming the help another twenty men would provide. Toran and Aileana came directly to Angus.
Shona still slept in Angus’s arms, and he was loathe to wake her. Still seated, he greeted the Lathan laird. “Thank ye for coming,” he told Toran. “It seems MacAnalen must rely again on Lathan assistance.”
Then he set aside his doubts and nodded to the healer. This was no time to let old resentments surface. MacAnalen needed her and whatever she could do. “Be welcome. There’s a man with a crushed leg who needs yer attention first.”
“Perhaps,” the healer answered, studying the woman in his arms. She reached out to touch Shona’s head and frowned.
Angus felt a glow of well-being suffuse him. Coming from Aileana through Shona?
“Nay, this lass needs me first. She suffered a blow to the back of her head.”
“I ken that,” Angus told her as Toran moved away to organize his men.
“Do ye ken she canna see?”
“Aye, I guessed it.” Angus fought to keep his voice down, but hearing his fears confirmed devastated him. “She’s truly blind?” Shona’s behavior since the collapse
made sense. But how did the healer know?
“For now.”
“For now?” Hope flared in Angus’s heart that all would be well. Could he trust the healer…again?
“Ye will hold her while I do what I must. Can ye?”
Angus swallowed a touch of fear. “Aye.” He would withstand anything for his lass.
Without another word, Aileana placed her hands on Shona’s head and closed her eyes. A sense of wonder filled Angus, though he suspected little of what the healer was doing leaked through Shona to him. The longer she stayed in contact, the better he felt. His fatigue lessened, and his many aches and pains muted. So Brodric had been right. As his pain leached away, Angus’s guilt magnified. He never should have doubted the healer, never should have let anger and disgruntlement take the place of his gratitude for the risks she’d taken to try to help that day.
When she covered the lump on the back of Shona’s head with her hand, she remained still for many long breaths, pulling Angus’s attention back to what she was doing for the woman in his arms, and the time it was taking. Concern filled him that Shona was hurt much worse than he’d suspected. He blamed himself for not doing more for her, but honestly didn’t know what else he could have done.
Finally, the healer lifted her hands and opened her eyes. Her gaze met his, and she nodded. “I’ve reduced as much swelling as I dare. I’m reluctant to do more right now for fear of causing damage. Time will have to tell us how she will fare.”
“Will she regain her sight?”
“I dinna ken yet.”
Disappointment washed through Angus, hot and angry. Not again!
“I’ll stay tonight and check on her in the morning,” Aileana continued. “I’ve laid a healing sleep on her that will last into the night. No matter when she wakes, ye must keep her awake through the rest of the night. Have ye slept at all?”
“Aye, I dozed while she slept.”
“Good. Take her somewhere quiet and dark. She needs to rest. I must find the man ye mentioned.”
“With the crushed leg. Craig can show ye, and assist in anyway ye need. Ye recall him, aye?”
Aileana nodded, and for a moment, her expression turned bleak, her lips compressed and her eyes hooded.
A rush of sympathy replaced the anger in his chest. So he was not the only one who still grieved that day. With a nod, he called for Craig and carefully stood with Shona in his arms. She didn’t stir.
The best place he could think to take her was to his own bed. He’d risk her reputation to make her whole and well again. And if anyone—even her uncle—complained, he had an answer for that, too. He was going to marry her the moment she was able.
His croft was warm and, with the shutters closed, dark. Once there, he pulled the bedcovers aside and laid her down, then covered her to her chin. Her clothes were still damp, but she’d warm quickly in his bed. The healer had said she would sleep for a few more hours. He would use the time to check on the rest of the clan.
Back in the clearing, Angus paused and observed Aileana at work for a while, overwhelmed and even honored, to be able to see a miracle occur. Craig seemed mesmerized, an expression of awe on his face. His hands lay on Magnus’s leg near where Aileana worked. Did he feel through them what Angus felt when Aileana touched Shona? Mayhap, Angus thought, Craig would also accept her ability, now he’d seen it demonstrated in the waning light of day.
A familiar flash of resentment disturbed his wonder. Why hadn’t Aileana been able to save his brother? He shook his head, thinking there must be some things beyond men—and women.
At that moment, Aileana’s eyes opened and her hands lifted away from the man on the ground.
“I dinna ken how ye do that,” Craig told her, respect in his voice as he, too, lifted his hands from the man’s leg.
“I’ve learned a few things since we last met,” she answered, “such as how to borrow strength from someone else, so I can work longer and be less depleted by my labor.”
Angus shook his head and moved on.
****
Once he’d seen the clan settled down, he returned to his croft. Even if Shona slept for hours more, he could not stay away any longer. He tended the fire and poured a cup of ale, then sat, watching her.
Sometime after moonrise, she stirred and cried out. Angus had dozed in his seat, but he leapt to his feet and knelt beside her in a heartbeat.
“I’m here, lass,” he murmured. “Ye are well. The healer has seen ye and says ye will recover.” He figured a little lie couldn’t hurt, especially if it gave her hope.
“It’s so dark,” she complained. Her arms came out of the covers. She rubbed her eyes, then gasped.
Angus suspected she realized what she’d just revealed. “I ken, Shona.” Angus gripped her hands and pulled them away from her face. “Ye canna see. Wheesht. Dinna fash,” he told her as she tried to tug them out of his grasp. “The healer said it would take a while, that’s all. Ye will be fine.” He released her and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “But I’m told I must keep ye awake the rest of the night. How do ye think I should go about doing that?”
Her eyes widened under a frown. Even though he knew she could not see him, he felt her assessing him, measuring his words, his teasing tone. Finally, she cocked her head to the side and gave him a hint of a smile.
“My headache is better. But perhaps ye could rub my neck. That might soothe the rest of it away?”
“Gladly.” He pulled her to sitting so she could lean her head against his shoulder. He ran his hands up and down her back, then stroked and kneaded her neck and shoulders, enjoying the simple act of caring for her. Her sighs told him she appreciated his efforts. He carefully avoided the back of her head. He suspected the knot there had gone away, but the wound might still be sore.
After a few minutes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled his throat.
Angus’s body caught fire.
He lifted her chin with one finger so his lips could find her mouth, but kissed her gently. She kissed him back, not at all gently. So he stroked her lips with his tongue and, when she opened her mouth to him, tangled his tongue with hers. She tasted like spring, like honey, like something he’d missed all his life but had never known the lack. He did now. He never wanted to stop tasting her. Kissing her. But he should.
“What are we doin’, lass? Ye need to rest.”
She leaned into him, her breasts pressed against the wall of his chest, making him hard all over.
“I’ve rested. I need ye, Angus. Did ye mean what ye said? That ye want me? That ye’ll court me?”
“Every word.”
Her hand cupped his cheek. “Ye have cared for me…been so gentle with me.”
He took it and kissed her palm. “Ye needed care. I was happy to give it.”
“I need ye even more now. The darkness…”
He laid her back and stretched out beside her, murmuring her name. His hand traced a path down her arm to her hip and back to her shoulder. Her moans plucked at the tethers of his control, so he reached between them and covered her soft breast with his hand, squeezing gently. She called his name and arched into him, her thigh pressing against his manhood and making him long for more.
“I want ye, Shona.”
She stilled at his words, but her breath tickled his neck. “I feared ye wouldna when ye learned…”
“What ye could do?”
“Aye. And what I canna do.” Her shoulders hunched, just a bit. “That I canna see.”
He traced her face with his fingertips. “Ye will. And even if ye never could again, I would still want ye.”
“Only for this?” She ran her hand down his back to his buttocks and pulled him closer. Her bravery impressed him. Her talent exposed, her body injured, her sight taken from her, she still had the strength of will to question his intentions.
“Nay lass. I wish to marry ye.”
“Ye do? What reasons do ye have?”
“Besides the fact I want
ye? Ye are a braw lass, with the strength and willingness to help others, even at risk to yerself. I never kenned I’d have room in my heart for love. All I could do was what I must for this clan. Ye taught me to love ye, and ye showed me I dinna have to do everything alone.”
“But what good is a blind wife to the chief of the clan?”
“Shona, I dinna think it will come to that, but even if it does, the other lasses can help ye with yer duties.”
“All of them?”
He heard the question in her voice—the fear she would never be enough for him.
“All but taking care of yer laird. That task will belong to ye alone.” He kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly to him. “I’ll want nay other in my bed.”
She stilled, clearly considering his words. His promises.
Did she know how seriously he took his promises? “I will no’ break my word to ye.”
“Ye make me verra happy, Angus. But I dinna think we should marry. No’ right away. We should wait to see if I will recover.”
“I canna accept that. I want ye.”
“’Tis too much of a risk, Angus. I told ye how my village cast me out, scorned me. I canna go through that again. And they will find out if I am the laird’s wife. They’ll watch me. And if I dinna regain my sight, I’ll never ken when they do. We must wait.”
“This is no’ the same as yer village. Ye’ve seen what the healer has done…well, ye have no’ seen, but ye will. This clan accepts such talents and is grateful for them. They will be for yers, as well.”
“Ye werena grateful for the healer’s efforts. What changed?”
“I was wrong. I saw…I felt some of how she helped ye. I saw Craig’s face as he assisted her. Her gift is real. So is yers. And this clan will be grateful for the lives she’s saved today, just as they’ll be grateful for what ye can do when it comes time to rebuild the hall.”