Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance

by Lessly, S. K.

  “Nice tattoo,” I managed to force out.

  Then I stood and removed myself from her presence. I knew I had hurt her. But to see it displayed in front of me, to see how she expressed her pain, has me fucked up.

  See? Fate fucking hates me.

  Chapter 19

  Maxine

  My skin was on fire where he touched me. I couldn’t breathe as he caressed my skin. I felt his breath on me, and I fought the urge to run my hands through his hair. When he looked in my eyes, I saw sadness, pain and remorse. I wasn’t sure if what I was seeing in his eyes was true, but I wanted to believe it was. But when he walked away, those hopes were shattered.

  “Hey, I didn’t even know you had a tattoo,” I heard Cory exclaim.

  Tiffany met my eyes, and she smiled.

  I didn’t expect to see Mason by the pool. They were supposed to be playing golf, and the last time they were gone for hours. Tiffany and I decided to do some shopping for dinner tonight. She told me she wanted lobster tail and salmon, salad, my grandmother’s famous Lou and cheese, rice, steamed broccoli, and a birthday cake. So we had to drive inland a little to go shopping. We got everything we needed and found out there was a Zumba class starting. So we put everything in my suite, grabbed Diane and Marie, and made it back in time for the class, which was held outside.

  Man, I haven’t had so much fun in a long time. Kat and I haven’t danced like this in years. We definitely knew how to move, which is why we found ourselves in the front of the class being dance instructor assistants. I mentioned before she and I took dance lessons for a long time and loved to dance, so this felt like second nature.

  Diane and Marie said they would meet us poolside as we talked to the instructor about teaching a class back in Dallas. When we finally made it to the pool, I didn’t see Mason until it was too late. I don’t know why I wasn’t paying attention. I mean, my body did the same as it always does when I’m in his presence, but I wasn’t expecting him to be this close to me. I’m sort of used to feeling that he consumes my body, even without touching me. So I paid no attention to how I was feeling. Then when he removed his towel from his head and saw my tattoo, I almost pissed my pants.

  When he pulled me to him the same way he used to claim me before we made love, I began to quiver with want. And, damn, to feel his hands on me again…I wanted him. Throbbing ensued between my legs, and I knew I was wet and wanting.

  This man is still pure sex. Even though he hasn’t touched me in years, even though he’s hurt me, my body wants nothing but him. No one has ever made me feel this way. As many times as Cory has touched me, I haven’t responded to him the way I’ve responded to Mason.

  Cory came up to me and touched my tattoo…Yup, nothing.

  “Who are Alex and the Reaper?” Cory asked.

  I heard someone choke, and I turned to see Marc coughing. I narrowed my eyes on him, and he gave me a silent apology. ‘He is such an asshole, just like his brother.’

  “They were two people I knew and loved once. They were in the Navy.”

  “Humph,” was all he said.

  Kat cleared her throat. “Hey, why don’t we get started with dinner?”

  ‘Thank you, Kat.’

  “Well, actually, I’ll go get started with dinner. This is your birthday celebration. You will not lift a finger.”

  “Aw, come on. I love to watch you cook. Besides, you may need some help.”

  “I can help her,” Marie smiled.

  “Me too,” Cory replied.

  Then I saw him look at AB. ‘What was that about?’

  “Are you sure?” she said.

  “Yes, girl. I’m sure. Go relax or something. Marie, meet me in my room in an hour.”

  “Huh? Make that two,” Marc announced, and then he reached for his wife.

  I laughed.

  “Alright I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  I headed to my room, and Cory silently followed. When we got to the room, Cory helped me get everything prepared. I had to boil the lobster tails first and start making the salad. Cory started chopping the salad. We talked about how fun it used to be to prepare Sunday dinner with Ms. Claire, Tiffany’s mom.

  In exactly two hours, Marie came over with a bottle of wine with Marc in tow. We popped it open, and while Cory and Marc sat in front of the television, Marie and I started preparing dinner.

  I really had a good time talking to Marie. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. She told me she was Dominican, moved from Florida to go to school here in Texas, and never left.

  “How long have you and Marc been together?” I asked her.

  “Close to fourteen years. We met on our first day of college.”

  “Oh yeah? Where did you guys go to school?”

  “We went to Baylor.”

  She told me Marcus saw her in the ‘SUB’, their student union building. He talked to her the whole time, and then walked her to her dorm.

  “I tell you, I was so happy to see my dorm it was unreal.”

  “Oh, whatever. You fell in love with my charm and winning personality that night, admit it woman,” Marc yelled to us from the living room.

  Marie and I laughed.

  “That’s right baby, I did.”

  “Let me ask you a question, when you first met Mason and saw them two next to each other, could you tell them apart?”

  Marie nodded.

  “Yes, I could. But they don’t believe me.”

  “Have they ever tested that theory with you?”

  “No, I think Marc is afraid.” Marie leaned into me. “I didn’t think I could at first, until I actually met Mason. It’s something about the way I feel when Marc is next to me. I don’t feel that with Mason, you know. I can just look in his eyes, and I know which one is my husband.”

  I nodded my agreement. I knew exactly what she meant. I was about to tell her I felt the same, but Marc came up next to her.

  “Baby, I know for a fact you would not be able to tell us apart,” Marc told her, grinning from ear to ear.

  “Oh yeah? I bet you I can.”

  “How much do you want to wager?”

  She thought about what she wanted and then smiled.

  “If I win, you have to escort me to every chick flick that I want to see for a year.”

  “What? One year?”

  Cory came up next to him.

  “Wow, a whole year? She sounds very confident, Marc. I wouldn’t accept that bet.”

  “Nah, I think she’s bluffing. Okay, let’s minimize that to three chick flicks of your choice. And if I win, you have to do three things that I love to do.”

  “Which is?”

  Marc smiled that devilish smile I would see Mason do when he was being sexual with me.

  I shook my head.

  “Uh, Marie. From that look, which by the way I’ve seen before, you could probably use your imagination and figure out the three things he likes to do.”

  I laughed, as Marc raised and lowered his eyebrows conspiratorially.

  “So what do you say? We have a deal?”

  Marie smiled and took her husband’s hand.

  “Deal.”

  He stood and tapped Cory.

  “Cory and I are going to round up my brother and play some pool or go watch naked women run around on the beach. We’ll see you lovely ladies later.”

  We got AB to bring in another table from his and Kat’s room, and Marie and Diane set the table. I placed the food nicely on the table, as well as two bottles of wine. We had two dozen flowers that Mason bought sitting on the tables to make the tables beautiful. I had changed into a form fitted black dress with red four and a half inch stilettos. My dress was strapless, so I wore my hair up to accentuate my neck. It was that moment I heard Marie gasp.

  “You got another tattoo?” she asked.

  I smiled.

  “Yeah, Kat and I got one earlier today.”

  Both of our tattoos were on the back of our necks. Mine was a silhouette of a cat, with the n
ame KAT underneath. Kat has the name “Monk,” with a monkey hanging from the cursive part of the M.

  I heard Diane scoff.

  “I think inking your skin as a woman is a mistake. I mean, in the world, you’re looked at very differently.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, number one. Number two, the only way you knew it was there was when I wanted you to. I’m not saying I’m going to go overboard, but I’m not in the habit of worrying about how others perceive me.”

  “Well, then in the world I live in, that’s something that a woman doesn’t do,” she replied.

  I didn’t take to heart what she said. I just shrugged and kept getting everything ready for tonight. Marie, I thought, was stunning as was Diane. Marie wore a white dress with white strappy high heel sandals, and Diane wore a green dress with silver high heel sandals. They both wore their hair down, and their dresses contoured their figures.

  When the door opened and Kat walked in, I started singing “happy birthday.” Even though her official day was tomorrow, we were celebrating tonight. She looked spectacular with her strapless form fitting red dress with four inch stilettos. Her hair was up too, which showed her fresh tattoo.

  I gave her a huge hug.

  “Happy birthday, sis.”

  “Thank you. Oh my goodness, it is beautiful in here.”

  She hugged everyone, and Marie asked to see the tattoo.

  “Did it hurt?” she asked

  “Yeah, it hurt like crap, but I was able to get through it. I feel sexy knowing I have a secret that, if I want to keep to myself, you will never see it.”

  “Has AB seen it?” Diane asked.

  She shook her head.

  “Nope. We had sex and everything, and he didn’t notice. It’s because I didn’t want him to.”

  “Where are the guys at, anyway?” I asked.

  “They should be on their way.”

  “Good, let’s have a few shots before they get here for your birthday.”

  I grabbed some cups and poured everyone a drink.

  “Here’s to one of the best people I know. Kat, you have the biggest heart, and you would do anything for anyone. I love that about you. And I hope when I grow up, I can be just like you. To Kat…”

  Everyone raised their glasses, and we took the shot of vodka like women. We made faces and vowed to not take another. But when the guys came in fifteen minutes later, we had taken two more shots.

  From the content faces of everyone around the table, everyone enjoyed dinner. I got lots of compliments and even some requests for caterings. AB was trying to get me to cook at his restaurant instead of bartending. I was flattered by the things they said, but I was just glad everything turned out to taste good.

  The conversation around the table was great. We laughed at stories AB, Mason, and Marcus told us about growing up. Marc told the table about the bet he and his wife had, and Mason smirked and looked at me for the first time today. I’ve been trying to keep my focus away from my temptation that is Mason James West. When he walked into my room, I thought I was going to faint he looked so good. He wore black skinny type pants and a jacket with a white short-sleeve shirt that hugged the ripples of his muscles. His hair was wild in that way I used to make it when we’ve fucked for hours.

  I don’t know if it’s the shots that are starting to get to me, or if it’s just pure desire, but I wanted Mason more than I wanted anything else in my life. What I should feel guilty about is Cory being right next to me while I craved another.

  The rest of the guys looked great too. Marcus wore the same and pretty much looked the same, but he had on a different color shirt and jacket. AB wore dark black pants and a jacket similar to Mason, but with a red shirt to match Kat’s dress.

  Cory looked pretty good himself. He wore black pants and a short sleeve black shirt. He smelled nice and looked delectable. I should be ashamed, but I’m not.

  Cory helped me bring out the cake because I almost tripped and fell. All four of us started laughing, which made the guys look at us strangely.

  “I see that someone has been dipping in the sauce while we were away,” Marcus announced.

  “What was your first clue, Sherlock?” I stated and then was rewarded by laughter coming from my partners in crime, even Diane.

  We gave each other high fives as I attempted to light the candles on the cake.

  “Hey, why don’t you let me handle that?” AB stood.

  I made a face and sat down, while AB lit the candles. We sang “Happy Birthday” and watched as my girl attempted to blow out the candles.

  We had hung out more in the room and ate a little cake. What I was ready for was to party. AB rented a room for us, and Cory brought his equipment so he could DJ the party. So we finally made our way to the rented area. The guys tried to restrict the amount of drinks we consumed, but it didn’t work, I had a flask of some vodka, and I passed it around to Marie and Kat. Diane seemed to be hanging on for dear life, so she shook her head. Ever the lady, I thought to myself. But I heard laughter from Marie and Kat, and a frown was on the face of Diane, so maybe I didn’t just say that in my mind.

  For some reason, we ran out of alcohol. So we talked the guys into going for a beer and liquor run. So while Cory set up his DJ equipment, I found a deck of cards.

  “I got them!” I said to Kat, and she groaned.

  “No, we aren’t playing that game,” she exclaimed, but I shook my head.

  “Oh yes, we are. Come on, don’t be a chicken.”

  “What’s the game?” Marie asked.

  “Well, for fun, Kat, her mom, and myself used to play something sort of like ‘I Declare War.’ We quickly throw down cards until we get a match. Then we spell out I-D-e-c-l-a-r-e-W-a-r with the cards. Whoever has the highest card wins and gets to pick a song for the loser to sing. And they have to sing it, no matter what.”

  “Oh, that sounds like fun. I want to play,” Marie said, and then looked at Diane.

  Diane shook her head.

  “Oh no. I can’t sing. I’ll sit this out.”

  “Okay, so let’s get started. Cory, do you have the mic set up with the karaoke machine?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Go for it.”

  So we started the game slow. I ended up being the first loser, and Kat won the hand.

  “Okay, my friend. Since it’s my birthday, I want you to sing…N’sync’s Bye-Bye-Bye.”

  I laughed and grabbed the mic. When the song started, I sang and danced around as much as I could with my dress on. Kat and Marie were up dancing in front of me as I sung. Cory just shook his head, as I tried to make Kat and Marie laugh. We went through a lot of rounds, where all of us had to get up and sing. We had Marie singing songs, although she had no idea how they went, which was funny. She was all over the place, but we had so much fun. Hell, even Diane was laughing at us.

  We made Cory buy us drinks from the bar, and I swear I was barely holding on. Marie ended up quitting on us, and it was just me and Kat. I lost the next hand, and she grinned.

  “I want you to sing Deborah Cox’s ‘Nobody’s supposed to be here.’”

  My eyes got big.

  “Really. Are we going there?”

  She nodded.

  “Oh yeah, baby. Sing that damn song.”

  I rolled my eyes and, as the music started and I heard the background come in, I started singing on cue. If you don’t know the words, it’s about a love coming into your life when you least expect it. So I started the first verse, and in walks Mason, Marc, and AB. Cory was standing in front of me, but further back. Mason stood next to him, and I just started to get into my song by the first chorus.

  When I started the second verse, I don’t know whom I was singing to. It didn’t matter. I closed my eyes and just sung my heart out to whoever was listening. The lyrics to the song filled me and made me think back to how my feelings for Mason snuck up on me, and made me realize how easily it has happened again.

  When I finished t
he song, Kat jumped up and clapped.

  Marie said to me, “Oh my goodness. That was like I was at a concert.”

  I smiled and made sure to not look in Mason’s direction, although I could have sworn that his eyes were on me. I looked over at Kat.

  “Oh, you know that payback is a bitch, right?”

  Of course luck was on my side, because I won the next game and smiled.

  “Lauryn Hill’s Ex-factor.”

  She stood and shook her head. “You don’t love me at all, do you?”

  I laughed. “Come on. I’ll sing with you.”

  The music started, and I let her take the lead on the song. This is also one of those songs that talk about a woman who is in love with a guy who doesn’t know how to love her back. Well, that’s my opinion, anyway. She started the first verse. Then I sang the second verse for her, saying how a guy can just express how he feels so easily but then can just walk away.

  What I love about this song is the hook. It is perfect for how AB has been treating her, which is why I got her to sing this song.

  We both sang this song for the two men in our lives that have no idea how much they affect us but won’t take that chance to see the reward. Kat and I were in our own worlds as we sang. When we were done, Cory started playing some dancing music, and we just started dancing. We heard screaming and clapping, and we saw that the band and some of the people we invited from the bar the other night had arrived.

  This party for eight had turned into a real party. I was relieved, because I didn’t want to pull another card and lose. There was no telling what Kat would have asked me to sing.

  Kat and I danced with everyone in the room except for the people our hearts wanted the most. I looked over at Cory, and I could tell something was heavy on his mind. I knew it was time I made a decision. For some reason, tonight was telling me more and more that I shouldn’t be wanting a man that didn’t want me.

  I was stealing glances at Mason and Diane, and it seemed they were in their own world. He would touch her and whisper to her, and all she would do is smile at him and lean into him slightly. I sighed. She is the woman for him, and I need to accept that. He doesn’t want me; I’m not the one for him. I wanted to cry. I didn’t know what I did wrong to change his mind about me.