My shoulders slumped. “Well, I do.”
Mason put his hands to my face. “Allura, this wasn’t your fault. No one could have foreseen this would happen.”
I felt the tears forming before they fell from my eyes. “Mason, I’ve been trained to be a nurse. I should have seen the signs that she was in distress, and I didn’t. I could have taken her to the hospital earlier. But I didn’t, and she died. If I…”
“Allura Maxine Shaw, you listen to me. You are not to blame for this. Nobody blames you, either. Baby, this is a fucked up thing that happened. But I’ve learned that there are so many things that go on in our life that we can’t control, and death is one of them. Kat suffered from migraines all her life, right? Did this time seem any different?”
I shook my head no, and looked in my lap. I knew where he was going, but it wasn’t making me feel any less guilty.
“AB told me that she would even throw up and would be in horrible pain, but she would never let anyone take her to the doctor. She would just ride it out, and the next morning she would be fine. Was anything different this time that gave you warning bells?”
“No, Mason. But I still should have known this was different. She was so tired and groggy, and she couldn’t take her meds because of the baby. So, I told her if the pain doesn’t subside I was taking her to the hospital. I was going to tell her we needed to go and make sure she was okay, but she got up and did the strangest thing.” I sniffed, wiping the wetness from my face with my shirt. “She looked back at me and told me she loved me and that she was glad I was here. It was like she was telling me goodbye, like she knew what was going to happen.”
“Maybe she did, and she knew that when she did go, you would take her passing the hardest. So, she wanted there to be no doubt in your mind how she felt about you. But baby, do you think she would want you to second guess yourself this way?”
He moved closer to me and pulled me into him. He tilted up my head to where our eyes met.
He said softly, “You know I haven’t done well with Alex’s death. I blamed myself for years. I wondered if I would have been able to save him if I was there. But, baby, it took me a long time and I will admit that I still have a hard time accepting that it was just his time to go. It fucking sucks that the people you love can be taken from you at any moment, and we can’t do anything about it. I know there’s a difference where people die by the hands of someone’s bad decision or bad actions. But there are times where things just happen, and this is one of them. Just think about the fact that you were here with her…that she knew she had you. Maybe she was scared but couldn’t express that feeling to you. But knowing she had you could have made everything better for her.”
I hugged him tight. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
When I realized what I said, I pulled back from him and shied away.
He had a sly grin on his face. “It’s a gift.”
I smiled and pushed him. “You are so full of yourself.”
His smile slipped slowly from his face, and he looked at me intently. Finally, he cleared his throat and looked away.
“Listen, I have to go. What time is your appointment tomorrow?”
“It’s in the afternoon at 1:30 p.m.”
“Oh, okay. I have a bunch of meetings tomorrow, but call me when you guys are done. Maybe we can go have a late lunch or something.”
I nodded, and he stood. He put his sneakers back on and gave me a chaste kiss on my lips.
“I’ll talk to you later.”
During the next few days, I made preparations to bury my best friend. Cory and AB were pivotal parts of the process. When the time came for the actual service, it was beautiful. Mimi sang two songs for me, and I managed not to cry too much. AB was a mess, but he was being held together by two of the most thoughtful and caring men I had ever seen. Mason and Marcus never left his side. The problem I realized is Diane never left Mason’s.
After we laid my friend to rest, we ended up at AB’s restaurant. He had a home-going celebration there. All of Tiffany’s family and friends went there to eat and extend their condolences to her family. Cory, Mimi, Tiny, and myself made the stage and the piano our home. We sang all types of songs that night in tribute to my friend.
Everyone drank a lot too. But for some reason, I wasn’t in the mood to do that much drinking. My heart was aching with loss on all fronts of my life. I watched Diane stare at her fiancé for most of the night with this look in her eyes. I could see how much she loved him, and I could see he loved her too. He stayed with her, which made me feel even lonelier. It also made me really evaluate everything in my life. These past few months have been something that I wasn’t ready or proud of, especially the times I was with Mason. I felt lost and empty, and as much as I wanted a life with Mason, I honestly didn’t think it was in my cards.
He had asked someone else to marry him. I think if he was lonely and miserable like I was, maybe things would be different. But he moved on. Me, hell, I was stuck in the past. I hadn’t found what I wanted and needed. I felt Mason’s eyes on me, and he smiled. I smiled back. But inside I was scared half out of my mind.
Tiny and Mimi stayed with me for a few more days after the funeral before they went home. I had promised them I would see them very soon, and we would catch up correctly.
Tiny asked, “So, what are you going to do with Mr. Wonderful?”
I shrugged. “Really let him go.”
“Is that what you want to do?” Mimi asked.
We were saying our goodbyes at the airport by security the day they left.
I shook my head, “No, but I just don’t see a happy ending with him happening.”
“Well, I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can definitely see how he feels about you. I think you’re wrong about him. Try and give him a chance to explain everything to you.”
“How can you say that? Did you see how he was with his fiancé? I know I did.” I rolled my eyes.
“I know what I saw. What did you see?”
I looked at Mimi. “I saw two people in love.”
She scoffed at me and folded her arms.
“That’s not what I saw. I saw two people going through the motions of being in each other’s presence. I saw a man who watched you like a hawk all day today. I saw a man apprehensive about how to be with you wondering if you would reject him or not.” She grabbed my hand and said, “I hope you don’t give up on him. You two belong together, and I think he finally got it. Let him make it up to you for the rest of his natural born life. Life is too short to waste it.”
I heard everything Mimi said. I knew she always had a soft spot for Mason. God knows, I wanted to believe her. I just couldn’t bring myself to believe in him anymore. Call it “time” or call it “coming to my senses,” but I needed to separate myself from him…and now.
It was a good two days later when he finally called me. He asked if I could meet him at his brother’s house, and he sent me the address. His brother lived in McKinney off of El dorado Parkway in a huge red brick house that I instantly fell in love with. I parked my car and was met by an angry conversation between Mason and Marcus, ending with Marcus telling Mason that he was no longer wanted around him or his family.
When Mason saw me approach, he put on a brave face. But for the first time, he didn’t mask his pain.
“There you are. I was wondering if you were going to show.”
He leaned in and kissed my cheek.
“What’s going on? And what was that all about?”
I pointed to the direction of Marc’s house.
Mason sighed and looked at the house for a few minutes before replying, “He’s kind of pissed at me.”
I scoffed, “Kinda? Mason, he pretty much disowned you. What did you do?”
“He’s upset because I’m going with Roland to do a job, and he’s worried.”
I looked at him and frowned.
“And you blame him?”
“No, I don’t blame him. I
just want him to understand, that’s all.”
“Come on, Mason. You can’t be serious. You can’t believe that it would be easy for him to, considering.”
“No, I didn’t mean to downplay everything. I just want him to…never mind. Look, I wanted to talk to you before I left. I want to make sure that we are still on for that talk.”
I looked down at the ground and didn’t reply.
“Allura,” I heard him call to me, and I knew it was now or never.
“Look, Mason. I really don’t think it’s a good idea we talk at all.”
“What?” He blanched and sort of moved back from me. “No, Maxine. Don’t…”
“No, Mason. You don’t. These last few months have been very hard on me. Seeing you again after all these years to find out you are getting married was the most painful things I ever went through. And now, God, I lost Kat. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I’ve never in my life behaved the way I have with you. I’m not the type to sleep with someone else’s man, and I did it three times. I feel like a whore and a home wrecker. Most of all, I feel lost.”
Mason approached me, and he grabbed me by my arms.
“Allura, wait, okay? Just hear me out. I know I fucked this up royally. Hell, if I knew before I saw you at the beach that I would have a chance with you, I would’ve…Please just…Can you just wait until I get back? Can we just talk about this? About us? I don’t want to lose you again especially now since…” he didn’t finish as his phone started ringing.
He pulled it out and looked at the text message he got.
“Baby, I have to go, but, please…When I get back, promise me we can just talk. There are so many things I want to talk to you about, and I just want to have that chance. Please promise we can talk?”
Man, he looked so helpless and vulnerable I couldn’t say no. So, I lied and nodded. He hugged me tight and kissed me on my cheek, leaving me in his brother’s driveway. I stayed there and watched him drive off, never noticing Marie come out and stand next to me.
When I saw her, I asked, “Do you know where he’s going?”
“Marc said South America and something about ‘keeping you safe from your dad.’”
My breath caught instantly. If my skin was lighter, you would probably see that I paled considerably. I grabbed onto the car next to me to keep me from fainting.
“Max, are you alright?” I heard her ask.
But I didn’t remember anything else because the next thing I saw was black. I heard someone faintly calling my name, and I opened my eyes. Marie and Marc were next to me. Marie was putting cold compresses on my forehead. I was inside Marc and Marie’s, house lying on their couch.
“Jesus, Maxine, are you okay?” Marc asked.
I saw the panic in both their eyes, and I sat up a little.
“Yeah, I’m fine. What happened?”
“You fainted when I told you where Mason was going.”
I started to feel sick again, and I reached for my phone that was on the table in front of me. I found the number I needed, and I dialed. When the phone was answered, I put it on speaker. My hands were shaking so much I couldn’t hold the phone to my ear.
“Ray?” I called.
“Hello, Maxine. How are you doing these days?” the voice boomed back at me.
I wasn’t in the mood for the pleasantries, so I got straight to the point
“Ray, I need to ask you two questions. I need you to be straight with me. Can you do that?”
“Well, Max, that would depend on what you’re asking.”
“No,” I screamed in the phone, causing my head to start to pound. “You need to do this for me. I deserve at least that from you.”
Marie and Marc looked on confused but curious as to who I was talking to. Finally, I heard my father sigh.
“Okay, Max, ask your questions.”
“Did you ever find out what happened to me during those ten days I was gone?”
I heard another long pause. Then he said simply, “Yes.”
I inhaled, hoping what he would say next would not make my heart and soul fill with dread. “Does Mason know?”
There was a longer pause on my phone, to the point where I thought I lost my connection.
My father finally said, “Yes.”
I cursed and hung up my phone. I lay back and closed my eyes, trying to stop my heart from beating clear out of my chest.
“Max, what’s going on? My brother said he was going to make sure you stayed safe. What does that mean?”
I opened my eyes and looked at the Marc and Marie.
“About six years ago, around the time my grandfather died, I came back to Dallas. I stayed with Kat and Cory, and I tried to get reacquainted with my father. I don’t really know why. Maybe that need of a daughter to get the love of her father drove me. Who knows. Well, my father is into some hairy things that caught up with me. Some people kidnapped me and held me for ten days in South America.”
“Holy shit!” Marc mumbled, and Marie just sat back in the chair she was in.
Marc asked, “So they took you to get money from your father?”
I shook my head.
“No, they took me to keep him in line. Apparently, they wanted him to do something that he didn’t want to. Instead of just taking things out on him, they took them out on me.”
I took a deep breath and told them what I had to live with for a very long time.
“During the time I was there, they beat me every single day. I first used to pray that my father would do what they wanted, so I could go home. But after a few days, I would pray that they would just kill me. The beatings were severe to the point I would pass out. Then I would come to with weight on my chest and grunting in my ear.”
I felt bile rising in my throat, so I stopped talking. Feeling the memory of what happened to me surface was terrifying. I hadn’t told anyone but Kat’s mom, and I’ve buried that memory with her until now.
“Oh Maxine,” Marie said, with tears in her eyes.
Marc had the same fire I would see in Mason’s eyes when he would get pissed off. Marc sat in his chair with his fists clenched on his knees, but his face was as calm as the sea before a storm.
I finally said, “I guess my father finally did what they wanted, because they let me go, and someone else took me back to the states. I was in the hospital for a very long time before I could be released.”
“Did the cops do anything?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Wasn’t much I could tell them. They took me off U.S. soil, and I saw no faces. Most of my time was spent with my eyes swollen shut. I couldn’t begin to tell you who was there, how many, or where I was. My father knew, and the cops talked to him. But I never found out if he did anything or said anything to the Feds. Anyway, the only person I ever told what happened to me was Kat’s mom, and I know she took my secret to the grave. I didn’t tell Mason about any of this. I knew he would go to the ends of the earth looking for the people that took me, and he would leave a trail of bodies in his wake.”
“Yeah, well, sweetheart, if he knows what happened to you, and worse, he knows who did it, there will definitely be bodies in his wake.” Marc ran his hands through his hair. “Damn it.”
He stood and walked out of the room, leaving me with a stunned Marie. I looked at her.
“I never wanted Mason to do this.”
She smiled softly with remorse in her eyes.
“You wouldn’t need to. He’d do it anyway, regardless.”
“I know how Marc feels, and so does Mason. He was feeling the same way when Alex, his friend from the Navy, went on a mission.”
Marie nodded.
“Yeah, I remember. The problem, I guess, is that this isn’t the first time Mason went on a mission.
My eyebrows rose.
“How many has he been on?”
“Um, maybe about ten since he’s been home. Marcus is insane when he goes. I mean he worries up until Mason has called him to tell h
im he’s back in the states. At first, it seemed that Mason had a death wish or something. He was always gone, and neither Marcus nor AB could reach him. Hell, their grandfather, who Mason worships, couldn’t reach him. Mason would just say he had to do this, that he had to go on these missions to heal himself somehow.”
“I remember one of the missions Marcus didn’t have a good feeling about. I mean he never had a good feeling, but for some reason this one time it was really bad. I mean, they argued for days before he left. Marc said some things to Mason that, when he left, he wished he could take back. Marc didn’t sleep and barely ate while he waited. It was one night when he jumped out of a dead sleep, telling me something was wrong. He rubbed his chest and was having a hell of a time breathing. I honestly thought he was having a heart attack. His phone rang that very moment. He snatched it up quick and learned that Mason was shot twice in the chest. He was having surgery. They weren’t sure if they stopped the bleeding in time, or if the bullet nicked anything.”
I brought my hand to my mouth and closed my eyes.
Marie added, “That was the last mission Mason went on with the insistence of Marcus.”
“And now he’s gone again… Breaking a promise, no doubt?” I asked, and she nodded.
I felt sick to my stomach as I left their house still thinking of Mason. Fate can be a bitch, I know. I just hope this one time she has mercy on us all.
Chapter 24
Mason
I laid my head against the leather airplane chair, trying my best to get some sleep. It’s been a stressful and rather tiring trip, but we accomplished what we set out to do. It took longer than I expected, but the results are what I desired. That cartel is gone, and the people responsible for hurting Maxine have been dealt with to my satisfaction.
Now, I’m extremely apprehensive about going home. I haven’t spoken to Max since I left, and I was hoping I would be able to make her see that we were meant to be together. I know it’s going to be hard, but I know in the end she’ll see things my way.
I texted my brother as much as I could, just letting him know I was alive. I know he went through a lot the last time I went with Roland on a mission, and I almost died. And I did promise him that I wouldn’t go on another one again. But I hoped he understood why I did it. I couldn’t tell him what happened to Max the day I left. I figured I would just explain everything when I got back. But when he told me to stay away from him and his family, I fucking lost it.
Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance Page 37