by Parker, Zoey
Even as I’m saying it, I’m telling myself this isn’t the way to go. I can’t blame him for the way I’m feeling. Yeah, he’s being an ass, but he’s not the only person I’m mad at right now. I’m also scared, which is just coming out as even more anger. I sound like Tommy, blaming Jax for my behavior. That realization only makes me angrier.
“Jesus! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you’d be so mad. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“No, you know what? I’m sick of this shit.” I’m not yelling anymore. Instead, I’m very quiet and very determined. I push past him and get my coat.
“What are you doing?” He sounds exasperated.
“I’m leaving. You dug the car out, right?”
“Yeah, but you obviously forget there’s hardly any gas in it.”
Shit. “I’m sure there’s enough to get me to a gas station.”
“If one is even open! Do you have any idea how deep the snow got? I’m sure everybody’s digging out right now.” I’m doing my best to ignore him, buttoning my coat despite his protestations.
“I’ll figure it out. I’ll walk if I have to.” I open the door, which he promptly shuts.
“Stop this. You’re being insane! You’ll freeze out there in no time. There’s no telling what the roads are like either. I don’t think that little car is your best bet right now.”
“I’ll do just fine. I’ll flag down a passing plow truck if I have to!” I push him out of my way. He’s surprised, easily thrown off balance, or else there’s no way I could have moved him.
As soon as I step out onto the porch, I regret my decision. It’s below freezing, with a wind that makes it feel even colder. But there’s no going back now, not after the scene I just made. I raise my chin resolutely, as though this doesn’t matter one bit, and walk down the stairs.
“Christina! Come back here!”
I ignore him, marching toward the driveway. Damn, it’s cold. Already, my toes are protesting, and I haven’t stepped into actual snow yet, thanks to his expert shoveling. This was a bad, bad idea. But my pride is on the line.
Moments later, I feel his hand on my arm, spinning me around. “Let go of me!” I scream, pounding on him with my fists. I might as well be pounding on granite for all the good it’s doing me. Before I know it, he bends, scooping me up over his shoulder and carrying me back to the house. I scream the entire way.
“What the hell is this? Are you serious? Put me down, damn it! You fucking jerk!” I’m still pounding on his back, my feet kicking helplessly. He doesn’t say a word, just carries me through the door and slams it shut behind us.
“Put me down!” Finally, he does as I ask, and when my feet are back on the floor, I come to the realization that he’s strong enough to do whatever he wants to my body. Instead of scaring me like it should, the thought only turns me on. Yeah, that caveman act was obnoxious as hell, but the way he overtook me? Damn. There’s something so intensely masculine about him that I can’t help but respond to.
He’s staring down at me, breathing heavily. But it’s not from exertion, I’m thinking. I think his mind is heading in the direction mine is. I feel the tension rising between us, knowing he could overpower me in an instant and almost wishing he would try.
Before I know it, he takes my head in his hands and pulls me to him roughly. His mouth covers mine and it’s like an explosion goes off between us.
I try to fight him off for a moment, out of sheer instinct. But very soon, I’m falling into the kiss. I unbutton my coat, throwing it to the floor as he does the same with his. I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, melting into him. He’s strong but sensual. He’s exactly what I need right now, what I’ve needed since last night.
He picks me up, so easily it’s like I weigh nothing, and sits me on the counter. I wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer to me. I want him, all of him.
His hands are still under my ass, which he pulls to the edge of the counter to grind himself against me as we continue to kiss. The pressure from his already hard dick is like heaven, and I whimper into his mouth. He takes his hands from beneath me to roam up under my sweater. I moan, urging him on. I need him, everything he can give me. His calloused hands on my soft skin send shivers through my body, all directed to the center of my longing which is throbbing for him.
We’re both panting for air, grunting, gasping, wanting more and more. One of his hands slides around to my chest, squeezing one of my breasts. I cry out, wrenching my mouth from his to moan my approval. He latches on to my neck, licking his way down while his hand continues kneading and fondling me.
This isn’t right. I can’t stop the thought from bubbling up even as I’m imagining us going at it right here in the kitchen, my soufflé all but forgotten on the counter beside me. It’s hot; it’s sexy as hell. But it’s all wrong. He’s too dark, with too many issues. Controlling, brooding. I can’t have another man like Tommy in my life.
I don’t want to stop, though. I don’t want this to ever stop. I take his face in my hands and pull him back up to my waiting mouth, wanting him to push all objections out of my mind with his tongue. He kisses me passionately. I greedily take everything he can give me, only wanting more of him with every passing moment. I want all of him. Right here, right now. There’s no going back.
Just as I’m about to reach down and unbutton my jeans, my phone rings. I try to ignore it, kissing him even harder than before. But it continues to ring, ripping me out of the moment and thrusting me back to reality.
“Damn it!” I whisper, allowing my forehead to drop against his shoulder. He’s leaning on the counter, one palm on either side of me, breathing heavily. I still feel him pressed ardently against my aching pussy, the pressure through my jeans nearly painful thanks to how aroused he’s made me. Why the hell can’t whoever is calling me just wait?
I reach over to where the phone is sitting on the counter and freeze when I see who’s calling. Shit. What the hell is Tommy trying to do to me? And why of all people did he have to be the one to interrupt us?
I don’t answer, sliding the phone away from me instead. I have no intention of speaking to him, now or ever. But just the reminder is enough to make me freeze up.
“You okay?” I hear Jax whisper against my neck.
I nod my head, struggling to control my emotions.
“Sorry I got carried away,” he continues. I don’t reply verbally, choosing to shrug instead. It’s all I can do. I’m overwhelmed, being hit from all sides by conflicting sensations. The sheer pleasure Jax was bringing to me without so much as taking off a stitch of clothing, the heat between us still, the ice-cold reminder of what was waiting out there for me. Waiting for what, I didn’t know. With that came the reminder of what I’d told myself earlier: I can’t get involved with another man who’s battling demons. I can’t put myself through that again.
“I’m sorry,” I finally reply. “I got carried away, too. That shouldn’t have gone as far as it did.”
“You bring out something in me,” he admits with a chuckle, then straightens up. He rearranges my sweater, fixing me up so I’m presentable again. I feel heat rising in my cheeks. How can he be so sweet and tender one minute, then so rough and forceful the next? It’s a double-edged sword, I remind myself. Tommy is the same way.
Only he isn’t.
Jax turns away now. “I’m gonna go watch some TV, check out the news. See how bad it really is out there. You’re welcome to join me.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, looking at the floor. I know if I look into his eyes right now I’ll be lost for good. I have to get my thoughts straightened out first.
I decide to turn my attention back to my soufflé and get it right this time. I whip more eggs. As I work, I think again about how similar Jax and Tommy are, and how very different.
Yes, they’re both volatile. Both of them can turn on a dime. One minute Jax can be quiet, thoughtful, joking. But there’s something darker simmering under the surface. The instant he lets his guard down
, that darker part of him comes out. Then he’s dominant, commanding. I get the feeling he could even be brutal if he needed to. Or if he simply wanted to.
I shiver, remembering the way he overtook me outside. Yes, it’s funny now that I think about it. Where did I think I was going, anyway? I was being a stubborn little brat. He stopped me the only way he could. I bite my lip, remembering how easily he threw me over his shoulder. I feel a little breathless just thinking about it.
Speaking of breathless, what about everything that had followed? I place my hand on the counter, where I sat minutes ago. I feel tingling between my legs, wetness spreading, remembering how it felt to be kissed that way. To be touched the way he was touching me. It was the way I’d always thought it was supposed to be. I never felt that before…the passion and burning, being swept up in something uncontrollable.
Sure, sex is nice. I like it. But before today, I’ve never felt that sort of passion. That spark. As far as I was concerned, before today, sex was just another thing that took place. It was a fact of life. One thing led to another. But this? With Jax? I realize I’m holding my breath at the mere thought of what might have happened had we not been interrupted. I exhale slowly, shakily, holding onto the countertop for support.
I laugh softly. I used to think something was wrong with me. Why else wasn’t I as into sex as other girls seemed to be? Why didn’t I orgasm every time, or even half the time? I can’t remember how many nights I ended up in the bathroom alone, getting myself off after Tommy had fallen asleep. I thought it was my hang-ups, something missing inside me. Evidently not.
Still, sex is just sex. There’s more to life than that. What about personality? He drives me freaking insane, Jax does. He’s snide, arrogant, mean. He teases me relentlessly like a bully. But he’s not really a bully. I can’t imagine him throwing me against a wall to scream in my face. I get the feeling that he just likes seeing if he can get a rise out of me. I’ve never been good at holding back my temper. Unless I’m scared of the consequence, that is. Then I’ll do just about anything to avoid showing how angry I can get.
The biggest difference lies in the fact that Jax is a man. A real man. Masculine, strong, take-charge. I feel safe here, with him. I know if there was a threat from outside, he’d take care of it. Just like he saved me from freezing. He’ll put himself on the line if need be. That’s definitely a characteristic I’m not used to witnessing. Tommy pretends to be strong. But no strong man hurts a woman.
That doesn’t mean Jax isn’t dangerous in his own way, however. I still sense some deep darkness in him. I can’t let myself get swept away in the idea of him being a nice guy, a good guy, misunderstood but with a heart of gold, just because he turns me on. There has to be a reason why he’s out here all alone. A young man doesn’t close himself off completely just for shits and giggles. I don’t need to be mixed up with someone like this.
No matter how sexy he is.
I hear the news reports from the living room, describing how the entire area was “literally buried” in snow. I can attest to that. The roads are still mainly impassable, and it seems as though we’re lucky to have power, considering that lines are down everywhere. I can’t imagine the added awkwardness if there was no electricity. I send up a silent prayer of thanks.
The timer goes off, signaling the completion of the soufflé. It’s perfect, puffy, and golden. The smell of baked cheese and egg fills the room. It must waft out to the living room as well, seeing as how Jax walks into the kitchen with a hopeful look in his eye.
“Oh, now you want some of my girly soufflé?” I cross my arms, standing between him and the counter. He pouts. I can’t help but laugh.
“After the work I did out there, I need a little sustenance.” I can’t argue with him, so I dish up a serving. I can’t help smiling proudly when I see the look on his face after the first bite.
“Okay, I apologize. This is one of the best things I’ve ever tasted.”
“So girly food isn’t so bad after all?”
He grins. “I’d eat your food any time.”
I turn away before he can see the way he makes me blush.
Chapter 9
Jax
Something about this girl doesn’t add up. She’s been agitated, almost hostile, on and off all day. One minute she’s fine, we’re joking about something. The next she’s cold, short, jumping to the wrong conclusion every time I so much as open my mouth. I can’t win.
I know what happened in the kitchen earlier in the day is getting to her. Hell, it’s getting to me, too. From the minute I woke up this morning, I told myself there was nothing between us, and there could be only nothing. I had to stay away from her. I jerked off to the thought of her last night, but that was it. No more. Nothing in real life.
So why did I practically dry hump her to completion right there on the kitchen counter? Why are my balls aching now when I remember what happened? I know she wants to forget about it; but while I don’t disagree, I can’t help feeling a little irked. Like she’s so shocked at herself for being attracted to the Big Bad Wolf. I was stupid to think she was different from the other women I’ve known. All she’s done is confirm a secret I’ve learned over the years: all women want the Big Bad Wolf whether they admit it to themselves or not. No matter how dangerous he might be.
And I am dangerous. There’s no doubt about it. I’d tell her to ask Marissa, but of course she can’t. Marissa isn’t talking anymore. Because of me.
Christina needs to get used to me, though, at least to get us both through the night. If the news is telling the truth, and there’s no reason it shouldn’t be, she’s not going anywhere until at least tomorrow—and even then, there is no guarantee when the road will be cleared.
“You okay?” I ask for the hundredth time. I’m sitting by the fire in the kitchen, reading a book while she fixes dinner. She insisted, and I was too happy to accept. What she’s made so far has been nothing less than spectacular. I feel bad now for giving her shit over the soufflé this afternoon, especially since it was so good. I just can’t seem to stop picking at her. It’s too much fun to watch her explode.
Especially since that explosion led to what it led to on the counter. I lick my lips at the memory.
“I’m fine, just busy,” she says, her back to me. I hear tension in her voice. I think I also hear a buzzing sound coming from her back pocket. That’s another thing. Her phone has been going all day, from the time it interrupted us through now. It’s been five hours since that happened and it sounds like there’s a hive of bees in here from all the buzzing. I wonder if she has a boyfriend she doesn’t want to tell me about. Maybe that’s why she stopped earlier. He called and reminded her she’s not single.
The more I think about it, the more I decide that must be it. She’s not being honest with me. God knows I’m used to women being dishonest by now. It’s nothing new.
“What smells so good?” I try to keep things light and easy, even though I know she’s lying to me.
“Chicken and dumplings,” she says, her back still to me. I see her using a can to roll out what looks like dough on the counter.
“Can I help you with something?” Even as I say the words, I wonder what the hell has come over me. Since when do I ask if a woman needs help in the kitchen? This gets a reaction from her at least, as she turns to me with one eyebrow cocked.
“You? Working in the kitchen?”
Instead of irritating me, her reaction makes me want to prove myself. “Yeah. I’m not totally helpless.” I get up, crossing the room to stand beside her. “I can do this, I bet.”
“You’re right. It’s pretty basic. Even you could handle it.” At least she’s joking with me again. She shows me how to roll out the dough and cut it into squares. I make a mess of my hands and get flour everywhere, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
“Did you ever see yourself helping in the kitchen like this?” she teases.
“Honestly? No.”
She laughs at this, and I’m g
lad to hear the sound. Then there’s that buzzing noise again, and she stops abruptly. She gets quiet, withdrawing into herself. I’ll hold my tongue for now, but I know I’m going to have to ask about it before the night’s over if it doesn’t stop.
An hour later we’re sitting together at the kitchen table, Blue on the floor between us. Her instincts were on the money; this is the perfect dinner for a day like today.
“When did you start cooking?” I ask, going back to the stove for seconds.
“I really don’t know. It feels like I’ve always been doing it. I used to watch my mom as she prepared meals. Even the most basic things. Meatballs, meatloaf, chicken, spaghetti, steak. I’d watch and ask questions. Why was she drying off the chicken before she put salt and pepper on it? Why did she add this or that to the recipe? What was the difference in taste? Eventually it got to the point where I was making suggestions. Maybe some grated cheese in the meatballs, a little garlic in the jarred pasta sauce. Then I took over. Baking has always been my real passion, though.”
“So it’s not like you had to do it.”
“No, I wanted to. It was a natural interest of mine. I think every person is born with a natural interest, you know? Only some of us get lucky enough to pursue it, though.”
“Not that I think you need the help, but why not look into culinary school? Even though you already have the coffee shop. If it’s what you really love to do?”
Her face gets stony. I hit a nerve. What is it about her? Why do I even care? And what the hell is she hiding from me? All I want to do is throw her over my shoulder and take her to bed with me, which is the most bizarre reaction to have at the moment but it’s how I feel. I want to take her, make her forget everything for a little while. Maybe I can forget, too.
Then there goes that damned phone again. Finally, I have to ask, putting down my fork and looking her straight in the eye.
“Do you wanna tell me who the fuck has been messaging you all day? Not once have I seen you take the phone from your pocket, even though it’s been buzzing literally all afternoon. What’s going on? Are you hiding from somebody?”